Ironheart
All the mares gasped in shock. Pinkie Pie fell backwards off the bed. Twilight gave her a glance over her shoulder before returning to the dog-eared book.
Ironheart will be different than any other device in the history of the world. It will be an adaptable, independent machine with artificial intelligence. It will fly. It will kill. It will be invincible and unstoppable.
"Bright Mind created Ironheart?" Applejack asked in disbelief, staring at the pages of the old black book. "And he made 'im so complex, too?"
"It makes sense that he'd create Ironheart," Twilight said slowly after a moment.
Twilight could remember Ironheart's instant provoked reaction when she had mentioned Bright Mind's name. Ironheart would never be free so long as Bright Mind would be keeping him on a leash. He had probably killed him and robbed him of his inventions so he could be free to unleash vengeance upon the undeserving world.
And his other actions made sense too. Who was more likely to create a robot that could hunt down the ponies that deserved it than the pony that had been abused and maltreated for most of his life? Bright Mind had likely put instructions in him to kill ponies that were like Alpha Nevada and Count Privilege because he couldn't stand having them exist in the first place. And who else but one of the smartest ponies raised by Princess Celestia could even think up of an intelligent robot, much less create it?
But that still didn't explain the choices he made, his strange, pony-esque mannerisms, his eerie hatred. How was it that his thoughts were so similar to Bright Mind's? Bright Mind had created such a perfectly similar copy of himself in a machine that his moods were indistinguishable from Ironheart's. But Bright Mind was benevolent and a pushover. Ironheart was the other side of him, the one with the subconscious daydreams of hurting others, but manifested.
Another echoing BOOM shook the earth like a cannon had been fired, and a flash of white ripped through the sky, and the rain pounded harder against the windows, snapping Twilight back to reality.
"Well, if not Bright Mind, then who?" Rarity was saying.
Pinkie jumped off of the ground onto the bed again. "Is that the end?" she asked hopefully, peering over Twilight's shoulder.
"No, Pinkie," Twilight said. She flipped to the next bookmark.
6/16/999: I revealed today that I had created gunpowder. When I presented the results to Count Privilege, he curled his lip and said, "Bright Mind, I'm willing to ignore the fact that you deviated from the current work we have in order to create your own little side project."
I did it because the work was stupid and wasn't getting anywhere, you idiot! What else could I do, sit and watch while you bumbled up the work as usual?
"Are you trying to further develop this... gunpowder?" he went on to ask.
I've gone further than you can possibly imagine, you sick flab-bag. I bet your whore wife loves playing with your sacks of bits more than she's interested in your other sack.
Rainbow Dash held a hoof through her mouth and inhaled through her teeth. "Oooh."
Sorry. That last bit was involuntary.
I told him I was intending on exploiting its capabilities. The Count was reluctant, but after I had shown him that the powder could be weaponized, he gave a surprising nod and said, "My goodness, Bright Mind! I wasn't aware of your prowess! You shall have a team of developers to help you immediately!"
He couldn't hide his deception. I know what he really wants. He wants me to make the weapon for him, and then he'll exploit it like he's exploiting me right now, he'll let me invent it and he'll steal the credit. He has the, ah, privilege to do so. And I, meanwhile have no privileges for me to enjoy for myself. Not the privilege of privacy, not the privilege of having enough to eat, not the privilege of feeling safe- economically or physically or socially. This place has none of that, and sweet Celestia, I wish I don't have to be here any longer than I have to. If I do, I might start to go either go insane or kill somepony-- or both. I wonder how that would feel like? Would I even be in control of myself doing that, or would I be there mentally, would I know that I'm smashing them into the pavement?
"Man, this guy's got some dark thoughts," Applejack commented.
"You think?" Rainbow asked incredulously.
"I'm s-scared of h-him now," Fluttershy whispered, shivering.
"It's not his fault," Rarity pointed out. "Those thoughts are just the result of his environment. If I was him, I would get out of there as soon as I could."
"But then he wouldn't complete work on Ironheart," Twilight responded, picking up the book with her magic again. "And if he did, he'd be seen as a weakling to his coworkers."
"Let 'em think whatever they want," Rainbow said.
Twilight went to the next section and read aloud.
8/31/999: The work is going well. Since I already have the model of the guns developed, I just try to give off the appearance of working on the gun while I instead work on Ironheart's tweaks and power sources and internal workings. I swear it, when I'm done with him, they will be sorry they are acting like this all the time!
The ponies in my research group for developing a gun were hoof-picked by Count Privilege himself, which means it isn't a surprise Alpha Nevada's here as well. They do nothing constructive or helpful. They instead lie around, indulging in the most awful behavior. They just take whatever they want out of my fridge-- just today Misty Ice took a soda I was saving for myself in there, and I tried to get it back, but she just waved me off while she was taking a sip and told me to go play with my vibrators that I had probably made for myself. And so I just walked off and let that whore have her victory over me. And the other ponies are just as bad. The sheer amount of profanity in the air stinks like a dead fish.
I want to give examples of the utter disrespect they give to civilized language, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't have the courage to even write it down, let alone speak it. It's strange. I have no problem writing down some of the most sickening, demented, twisted, and dark thoughts I've ever had, but I get squeamish writing down swear words and bad language. Go figure.
They play cards and bet in their spare time, no matter how many times I tell them that they need to create the gun. Most of the time half of them don't even show up! Because I at least want them to try to be ponies that have some clue of what the project is about, I try to tell them they need to work on it, but they say, "Shut up, man! Can't you see we're busy playing a game?" Don't they realize that they- all of them, even the winner- are just losers to the game set in motion, the game of life? If you blow off this life, the time of your probation, your time here on earth, then who really wins? Nopony wins. And in response, they say, "The only real loser around here is you, Bright Mind," followed by whoops and cheers and a hoof-bump to the pony that said it. And I go and I stomp off in irritation and despair to work again.
"For being smart enough to be working at a science lab, those ponies sure are dumb!" Pinkie snapped at the journal.
Only one good thing's resulted from their unwillingness to work. They haven't been poking around and looking at Ironheart's unfinished body. At this point, he's little more than a corpse, but I can change that, given the time. I will need all the time I can get in order to finish him. I've taken to not even going home after hours, instead choosing to stay in the lab and work on my little project.
"Should I be rooting for Bright Mind or not?" Rainbow Dash asked. None of the mares responded, for none of them knew how to. Instead, Twilight went to the next part. The date for this particular one was significant.
1/1/1000: The skies were darkened today. The world went into a state of panic. The evil normally in other's hearts was now afflicting them. For Nightmare Moon has returned today. Princess Celestia was missing, outside was a fog of darkness, and the ponies were fleeing out of Canterlot and panicking.
I was calm and collected while they screamed, however. I simply worked on my project some more, in the darkness and the shadowy depths of the labs. I realized, a long time ago, that the power of darkness is not to be feared. Because it is fear that gives the darkness power. Do not turn your back to the darkness, because it will strike when you are not looking. You must always face it and let it in-- and then fountain it back out again. It's better and easier than trying to shut yourself out to those influences entirely, for that's an impossible task nopony can do.
Before the day-- or should I say, night-- was over, however, the sun rose and Princess Celestia had returned to her seat of power alongside her lost sister. We were all a little paranoid at first, but Celestia reassured us all that she wasn't to be feared, that Nightmare Moon was gone permanently and Princess Luna was here to stay, thanks to her protégé, Twilight Sparkle, and her friends. I couldn't believe it! Celestia's prize student, already accomplishing such great things? She's somepony I want to try to be like- abolishing the works of darkness from this earth. I believed her immediately.
The others, however, were suspicious and were heckling Celestia throughout her presentation of Luna at the lab. I hated them even more after that, for reviling the forces of good. I want to punish them for that, for if not me, then who?
The rain was falling like iron nails outside. The deluge was pattering so hard on the windows Twilight had to raise her voice near the end. Another rippling line of lightning sundered the heavens outside their window that caused elongated dark shadows to be made inside their apartment, accompanied by a cracking BOOM that sounded like they were hearing the firing of Ironheart's guns in their ears. Fluttershy jumped and hid under the covers of Twilight's bed.
"Holy Celestia, what was the weather schedule for today?" Rarity asked in shock, staring outside.
Twilight went to the next section, a growing sense of uneasiness lying at the pit of her stomach like she had swallowed a rock.
1/28/1000: I am writing this entry from the lab's hospital.
Twilight lurched. "That's not a good way to start a journal entry," she commented before clearing her throat and moving on.
The day before, I arranged a meeting to show Count Privilege the finished product. Before the meeting, I brought out one of my finished guns, a weapon that has a storage capacity of ten bullets. I showed it to the others I was working with and they "Ooh"ed and "Aah"ed over it before passing it around. It was truly one of the few times during the project I felt valued to others.
They told me that there were some props in one of the lab storage units that would be useful for the presentation. I therefore went out and rummaged through the storage units, looking for heaven knows what by now. It must have taken longer than I thought, for all too late I realized I was missing the meeting I had scheduled myself. I raced up to the meeting room only to find an awful scene.
They had erased my name completely from the presentation!
They had given no credit at all to me! I had walked in on them just as Alpha Nevada was talking about how the weapon he had manufactured could kill a pony from over eight hundred feet away. As I barged in I could see him look over the heads of Count Privilege and the rest of the upper-class citizens in the room and give this knowing smirk without using his mouth. I saw it in his eyes. "Bright Mind," he said to me. "Where in Equestria have you been? You were missing the presentation I was giving about my invention."
"That was mine!" I yelled at him. "You took that away from me! That's not yours at all!"
He walked over to my face. He was so close I could smell the egg-salad sandwich he had for lunch that day. "Then you tell me, Bright Mind," he whispered to me, "what are you going to do about it? It's your word against mine. Which do you think Count Privilege believes?"
I was then shoved in my seat by Alpha's magic. "Now sit, Dirty Mind," he commanded me. "And listen. The real genius here is speaking." And he turned back and I had to watch, in silent and abject horror, as Alpha Nevada proceeded then to plagiarize all of my life's work here by showing off my invention and passing it off as his own. When he was done Count Privilege commended him for his noble work and shook hooves with him, and promised him a reward of fifty thousand bits for his hard and well-spent work.
How can Count Privilege not see it? How can he not see this... this sin under his very nose? Unless he does see it and instead thinks Alpha Nevada's the better pony anyway, that he's better in life than me and therefore the one that's more responsible and respectful.
"You know..." Applejack mused. "Ah can how a pony can go all mad-scientist mode and create this Frankenstein's monster. Ah mean, look at 'em!" She slapped the book indignantly.
Count Privilege then arranged for Celestia to visit the following day and see the "Amazing invention Alpha Nevada created in the name of science." And Alpha thinks he's won, but he's wrong. I've bowed to him for far too long. I've eaten out of the wrong end of his intestines for two years, and I wouldn't let him get another advantage over me again!
Now, he's right about one thing- it's Alpha's word against mine. But I don't need a word. I only need proof. And I know where to get it.
The security camera footage. It's kept an eye on our public lab, but not in my private lab, where Ironheart is currently underway in construction. The cameras will certainly pick up any sign of Alpha's lying. It should show that Alpha and his filthy underlings were kicking back.
And so today, in the middle of Alpha Nevada presenting the weapon to Princess Celestia, I stood up in protest to Princess Celestia and told her to not believe anything Alpha was saying. When I did, Alpha looked back at me but said nothing. If he were to snap and lash out at me in front of Celestia, he'd lose his job. I took satisfaction in giving him a hefty smirk.
Celestia gave me a look. "Why were you interrupting this smart young pony?"
"Because he's lying," I responded fiercely. "He didn't create the weapon, I did!"
"Shut him up," Count Privilege told Alpha Nevada, and I saw him with a wild glint in his eye.
"Patience," Celestia said. "Let the charges be heard. If he believes he's been excluded from the project, I would like to know why."
I saw Count Privilege looking miffed at that. Alpha withdrew like a disappointed animal whose food had disappeared in front of him.
I drew out the security camera tapes from the past six months. I was lucky the pony in the security room was willing to lend them to me in the first place. "This should explain everything, Princess Celestia," I proudly announced. I was happy to see Alpha and Count Privilege dilate their eyes upon seeing them.
I then slipped the first tape in the player I had brought up and pressed play. On the monitor played a sped-up relay of the first day of the project. You could see me alone at the main table, my back turned to the camera, assembling the blueprints of the gun and drawing concept images, while in the far opposite corner were about fifteen to twenty other ponies idly lying around and lolling with no intent to help. Upon seeing this Celestia arched an eyebrow. "Who is that pony over there working on the project, and why is he alone?"
"That's me, Celestia," Alpha weakly asserted. "I tried to get Bright Mind to work with me, but he wasn't helping, he was trying to molest some of the other mares! See? He's all the way over- " He stopped when he saw the figure turn around and try to wave to the others with arm motions to try and come over. None came, however, and after a few minutes, he just turned around again and resumed his work. Celestia saw the face of the pony working alone, and it was not Alpha Nevada.
She turned to face him with the most stern expression I had ever seen her use. Alpha swallowed hard like he had taken a bite of cold soup.
"That is not you," she said softly. Behind her was the next day's footage, showing essentially the same thing. "Would you care to explain yourself?"
I noticed Alpha had turned a color akin to that of an old bowl of oatmeal. It was the only time I had seen fear on that face of his, the face that makes me so sick I will not even describe it here. "Ahh..."
"No need to defend yourself," she interrupted harshly. "Everything has been quite clear here, thanks to Bright Mind's interference." She looked at me. "I assume the rest of the videos are the same thing?"
"Absolutely," I responded warmly.
"Don't believe him!" Alpha rushed out. "He's deceiving you!"
"Is that so?" Celestia asked suspiciously. "In that case, I'll take these tapes back to the castle and look over them and see who really is lying." Ignoring his stricken face, she then addressed Count Privilege, who was looking almost as bad.
"Princess Celestia! I can explain!" he said desperately. "How was I supposed to know he was- "
"You disgust me," she said with every ounce of revulsion in her voice as physically possible. And she walked out of the room with the tapes trailing behind her with her magic, still looking at those two slimy pieces of rat-soiled filth with disgust. I silently cheered for her when she did that. Finally, you're doing something right for me, Celestia!
"GOOD FOR HIM!" Fluttershy yelled suddenly. The rest of the mares jumped in their spots on the bed, all looking at Fluttershy in shock. Fluttershy withdrew beneath the covers again. "Sorry," she squeaked.
"Actually, I'm not even mad," Twilight commented. "That's amazing!"
"Hooray Bright Mind!" Applejack cheered.
After the meeting I was packing up to go home. It had been a while since I had returned to the house for a proper warm meal. I think I've already said why, but I nearly always stay after hours to work on Ironheart. And it's a good thing I did, because I needed that extra time to work on his outer layer. Steel just isn't strong enough. It needed something to make it last much, much longer than steel. But what? Titanium? No, because even that can break apart and shatter.
So, left with little other options, I decided to create an entirely new metal on the molecular level.
Twilight broke off from reading instantly. "He WHAT?!" she demanded of the book. The book gave no answer.
"He made a brand-new new metal? Can ya even do that sort o' thing? Is it real, Twi?"
"Theoretically," Twilight uncertainly told Applejack over her shoulder. Then her voice went into a scholarly tone. "Atoms are the most elementary building blocks of life. Atoms are tiny-- hundreds of thousands of them are needed to be made into something as thick as a strand of hair. But the atoms themselves are made up of even smaller pieces called subatomic particles. Depending on the way they're arranged, they create certain atomic compounds- gold, copper, brass, titanium, iron, neon, and oxygen, to name a few. It is possible, theoretically, to strip an atom of the protons and neurons it's comprised of and add, subtract, or rearrange protons, neurons, and electrons to create an entirely new element. This process is called Transmutation."
"Care to explain for those of us that aren't as smart as you?" Rainbow asked Twilight irritably.
Twilight gave her a queer look before simplifying her statement with a roll of her eyes. "It's changing one atom to another by playing with the stuff it's made of."
"Like changing a muffin recipe to a cake recipe?" Pinkie Pie asked, raising a hoof.
Twilight smiled. "Yes, Pinkie. Perfect example. Like changing the recipe. Adding or subtracting the amounts of sugar, flour, eggs, or other stuff it's made of to create an entirely new treat. That's exactly what Bright Mind did. He played with atoms and subatomic particles to make a new recipe for a new metal, one nopony had ever seen before."
"But how in Equestria did he do it?" Rarity inquired. "How did he make those tiny little atoms change into what he wanted?"
"That's the mystery, isn't it?" Twilight asked. "It's really, really hard to go that small and make it happen. I don't know if even I could do that. But he was apparently one of the smartest ponies of our age and certainly the smartest pony in Celestia's school for Gifted Unicorns, so if anyone could do it, Bright Mind would have found a way." She looked back at the book.
I created a metal that was more heat-resistant than metal, and stronger, and more flexible, and denser than normal steel or titanium. It was designed to never break apart, tear, or be destroyed unless it was exposed to temperatures ten times hotter than the surface of the sun. I call it Infinisteel.
It took some time to create enough particles of Infinisteel to line the outside of the skeleton frame I created with spare metal pieces. It took about six months to get it all done. On a good day, after I had initially created the particle using magic, I could convert a good patch of steel into Infinisteel after the other ponies had gone home. It's actually really easy to copy the atoms into a new form once you have something to model it off of, so I have to only take a spare piece of steel and cast a spell at it to adapt into my creation of Infinisteel atoms. My lab contains all of the assembled pieces of Infinisteel, lining Ironheart one small piece at a time.
But today was different. I hadn't set hoof in my threadbare apartment for about three weeks straight now because I was so focused on Ironheart. I actually liked sleeping in here, because then I don't feel quite so alone. I'm building a friend! But I needed to make sure my apartment was all right.
It was dark when I left the main lab and started to head to my home, sweet home. About a fourth of a mile out, I rounded a corner to enter Canterlot Boulevard, with a large pile of bushes to my right. The lab was still right behind me.
And all of a sudden, the bushes rustled and out came several ponies that were wearing masks and disguises. They grabbed me and slammed me onto the concrete sidewalk. The impact was like a blast of white fire, the pain in my head like a hot nail. I looked up to see four or five of them start to stamp on me. One of their hooves caught me right between the hind legs and I tensed up. I started to leak tears.
Another one of them stomped right on the spot of my head where I had hit the concrete. It hurt as bad as the pain was in my groin, and everything else turned to a little throb as my body focused more on the pain, the awful pain in my groin and head.
Until one of them slashed me across the face from the top of my head diagonal to the left side of my jaw. That made new pain erupt all over my face, and I felt this warm wet liquid slowly flood out of my face and get into my mouth and my eyes. The taste was slightly metallic, and I recognized it as blood. I saw something lying on the ground in front of me and I realized it was a shard of my tooth.
"T-t-twilight," Fluttershy whimpered. "S-stop it! It's h-horrible!" She buried herself even more in the sheets.
"I can't, Fluttershy," Twilight said feebly. "We need to read it all. We need to understand it."
"We could at least not read out loud?" Applejack said to Twilight. "That's doin' more harm than good."
Twilight saw her logic. "Sorry, Fluttershy," she apologized sheepishly, then laid the dark book flatter on the bed for the girls to read for themselves. It was a good thing she did, for the next part was even worse, and it made the girls either gasp or clutch their stomachs uncomfortably.
They forced me to the side, off the sidewalk, and shoved filth into my eyes and mouth as well. Whether it was mud or manure I don't know; I was not acquainted with the taste of either. I tried to get out, screaming for them to stop, but they were holding me down by force and just shoved more of that filth into my mouth. Then one of them reared up and started to urinate gleefully all over me.
I don't know if there's a physical feeling in the world worse than getting peed on. It's warm at first, but after a few seconds it starts to turn freezing cold and stick to your clothes, and in turn stick to your skin. It was partly on my face, mixing with my own blood, but it was also on my neck and chest as well, and it soaked me before I could try to shake it off. But as bad as it physically feels, it's a mark that you're sub-pony, like you're less than a living being that deserves natural privileges like respect or love. Getting peed on was a mark that I had forever lost any sign of respect in the world.
When he was done the pony in question went back to all fours and put his face close to mine, but not close enough that he could be near the mess that was now my face. He whispered, "What are you going to do about it? What have you learned? You've learned to stay out of our business."
That voice was Alpha Nevada's. Of course.
"That whorse of a mother you had should have aborted you when she had the chance," he hissed, and he spat on me. It was slimy, and viscous, and dripped down my eye like I was crying. Which I was, in fact. I was crying and sobbing like a broken child, like I was in a nightmare, a special kind of Tartarus designed especially for me. After that they knocked my face into the ground again and walked away laughing.
I lay there for an indeterminate amount of time. Lying there, with my face covered in blood and mud and saliva and urine and tears, pain shooting from my groin and the side of my head, and my clothes wet and cold, I encountered a truth so utterly profound that it made me see clearly.
Ponies, by their very nature, just don't have it. They've never had it. They've lost before they started. They've lost before they were born. Flesh is weak. Flesh is pitiful and carnal and wants to do nothing but harm to others that are worse than them. I've been on the bottom rung of society for so long now that I understand it better than Count Privilege ever will. The only power that matters is the power to rip, and the power to tear, and the power to kill, and the power to destroy, because if you do not have that power, you will always live under the influence of somepony that does have that power, and if they decide to come after you, nothing and nopony will ever save you.
Twilight felt a tear build up in the corner of her eye reading the pain in his words and the obvious emotion displayed. The rest of the girls reading were making low, pained breathing sounds as they read his anguished thoughts.
Everyone is awful. The world is a rotten, wormy husk of what it once was. I've struggled for so long, felt so much pain, and I've gained nothing! The world has been darkened for me. No one loves me. No one cares.
But noooooo, Bright Mind! Just always, always remember- count your blessings, and the world will turn out fine! You can control every single thing in your life! Because your happiness depends on how you view the world, not the environment you grow up in! You can control how happy you are! You can stay happy and optimistic and happy-go-lucky, even when all of creation fights against you and wants to stamp you into a pile of goo. How dare you think you deserve better? The world is a bright place. A place where you can stay on the bottom for the rest of your life, where you never fight against your oppressors because that's wrong. It's right for them to hurt you because you're beneath them, but when you want to hurt them to get out from under their grip, then all of a sudden that's wrong. Remember to always treat others the way they want to be treated. Forget about the other ponies that act horribly to their fellow brethren and get no punishment for it, even though that contradicts the Golden Rule in the first place because nopony treats them the way they treat you, Bright Mind! Just ignore the Tartarus that's been heaped upon your back, and you'll turn into a pretty little butterfly that will just fly away and leave everyone behind! Your family, your friends-- you don't have any, so it won't hurt, will it, when you leave this world forever and depart for some miserable afterlife! You'll be fine! Just Count. Your. Blessings. The ponies that hurt you aren't to blame, it's your fault for feeling hurt!
NO!
When the girls saw that they reared their heads backward. It was as if he had suddenly lost control.
NO! NO NO NO! THE WORLD'S AN AWFUL PLACE, AND I WANT OUT!
Guh-doy, what are you talking about? You have sooooo much to live for! You matter! You matter as somepony for others to beat up so they feel better about themselves! But don't let that get to you! You can feel love for them, can't you? Feeling love is the whole point of living!
THEN I! DON'T! WANT! TO LIVE! ANYMORE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THE SAME WORLD AS YOU! SO EITHER THEY DIE, OR I WILL!
Oh, Bright Mind! How dare you! You can't do that! The world is just a game! Stop whining over a game, Bright Mind! There is no situation so bad that whining about it won't make it worse! So just shut up about your protests of abuse and evil! Nopony wants to hear you wail and mope! Stop feeling like the world should treat you with respect, because that's just how the game works! You can't demand that the world treat you with respect- except if Alpha Nevada asks for respect, then he gets it all, he gets love and acceptance- but the instant you want to be treated like a living, breathing being, then you're asking too much! Some ponies are just better off! Some ponies just enter the game unequal, and that's fine, you've just got to accept that you will lose the game of life!
THEN I FORFEIT THE GAME! I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE! I DON'T CARE! I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN A RIGGED GAME! JUST LET ME EITHER QUIT OR GAIN THE ADVANTAGE I NEED TO PLAY ON EVEN GROUND! I DON'T CARE WHICH!
Pinkie Pie gulped. "What's the difference in those paragraphs?" she asked fearfully. "Is he talking to himself?"
"I think... that's him arguing with ponies that are trying to give him advice," Twilight said slowly. "Except the advice isn't doing him any good. He's tortured and in pain and he doesn't know what else to do or think."
Nopony knew how to answer that.
They say I need to forgive and forget, and my life will be made for the better. But the problem is, part of forgiving is forgetting. And I will never forget what they did to me today. Therefore, they shall always remain unforgiven.
I lay in the pile of filth and decay, bleeding from that deep scar I now have on my face, for some time; I wasn't measuring. It hurt. The pain and the humiliation and the lack of anything resembling love. Then, when I felt like I was going to pass out, a shadow fell across my face and I heard, "Oh my goodness! Bright Mind, is that you?"
I recognized the voice. It was Dr. Brainstem, the pony I told about my gun in the early stages of development. I felt lifted off the ground with his magic, and I trailed after him helplessly as he rushed me back to the lab's hospital. There he managed to work with the nurses and doctors, and they patched me up and made me rest in the hospital bed from where I am currently writing these words with my magic.
The scar I have on my face will never heal permanently, they say. How did this happen, Bright Mind? Oh, it was just an accident, I was playing around with some spare metal and it gave me this nasty scar on my face. Are you sure about that, wasn't it an assault? Yes I'm sure about that, it was only an accident, I was just being stupid. All right, then, if you say so.
Why didn't I tell them? To give Alpha Nevada his victory. To placate him, to make it so that he doesn't come after me anymore, to make him win and make him feel satisfied.
But he hasn't won. Not if I have anything to say about it.
All I see in others before I see what's good about them are their negative aspects. Their defects, their flaws, the things I find infuriating and annoying. I see them and I shrivel in disgust, knowing that those ponies are who I should not be like.
Nyeeh, but Bright Mind, look who's talking! You have problems too! You're weak. Why should you point out the flaws of others?
Because even though I'm not perfect, I know what it looks like, and because of my experiences growing up, I notice those first, I notice how snotty or prideful or malicious they are. Just because I'm not perfect, it doesn't mean I don't want others to correct themselves when they're doing something wrong.
Wrong! What, are you judging us? Only Celestia can judge us! You have no right to say the evil things we do are wrong! Except if you say that we're doing something right; then we'll love your advice and we'll accept it gladly. If you say that we're right in the bad things we do, that's acceptable, but the instant you say that we're doing something immoral and wrong, then your opinion doesn't matter and we'll only look to Celestia for approval! She would approve of the sin we're committing, Bright Mind, even though she's clearly said she doesn't like it!
Oh Celestia, your logic is stupid. If you have the right to judge others according to your own will, why shouldn't I? The world is irredeemable. How much of nothing you all are! Even the dust of the earth is more obedient than you all! See, if the wind blows, the dust, at least, moves according to the will of the wind. But not you! Not you stubborn and stiffnecked animals! I'd rather be with the dust! I don't want to belong to this race anymore, if that's our natural state!
Twilight took a peek at the next section of the book, on the other side of the page. It was the next day's events. Twilight cleared her throat and read aloud.
1/29/1000: Today I had to stay in the lab's hospital bed, which irked me. I had to finish Ironheart! I needed to complete it, and soon! I'm doing nothing just staying in this bed and counting the seconds ticking by on the clock opposite me.
Celestia came in for a visit at about noon. "Oh my, Bright Mind! Are you all right? Are you fine?"
I only nodded. It hurt to move my head because I had cracked my skull from the night before. I could still feel the mud and piss on my face from the night before. It just won't go away!
"Who did this to you?" she asked me.
I won't lie, I was on the verge of telling her it was Alpha Nevada. But I decided against that. If I had told her, what would she have done? Probably expelled him from Project 24. And then what? He'd no longer be under her jurisdiction. He'd be free to go, free to commit more atrocious acts against me in the future. Celestia hadn't done anything about him now. How could I be sure she'd do something now? This was between me and him. I would handle it myself. The matter was in my own hooves.
That's how it is. I tell you, the single biggest lie I've ever been told-- at school, the workplace, and in the real world itself-- is this: "Bullying will not be tolerated."
I mean, they say they care, and they say they're looking out for you by saying, "If anypony ever feels unsafe, please come to us. We care about you and we're here to help."
Then someone like me comes to them and says they feel unsafe and they want to have the ponies in charge do something, and they throw up their hooves in irritation and say, "Well, what the heck do you want me to do about it?" Or they put you in trouble as well, because apparently there needs to be two ponies in order to have a fight, and you get an equal share of the blame for no reason. Or they forcibly remove you from the other pony that's causing the trouble. I don't get it. Why not remove the troublemaker, instead of the victim? Or they say that you are provoking them, and you must take a look at yourself to see if you are being a good student first. The problem is with you, little victim. Your weakness is just too much for them. They can't help it if your face breaks against the ground from time to time. Or they prescribe medication that turns them into a frickin' zombie.
And so, distraught by their indifference, the oppressed pony in question commits suicide or starts to cut him-or-herself on the wrist or gets depression. And when that happens, the counselors throw their hooves up in innocence and bluster, "Oh my goodness, what a terrible catastrophe! You know, this tragedy could have been avoided if the pony had simply gone to us for aid! Remember, come to us if you ever have a problem!"
Oh my goodness, it disgusts me.
If there's anything I've subsequently learned, it's that you cannot rely on others to solve your problems for you, or you will grow up weak, like me. And so I will change that. This is not Celestia's problem. This is mine. And I will solve it in the way I want, not hers. Friendship does nothing for you in these cases.
"That's not true!" Fluttershy exclaimed, leaping out of the bed cover yet again. "What about me in Flight School, when I was getting teased by all those bullies and meanies? Friendship was the only thing that helped me then! Right, Rainbow?" She looked to Rainbow Dash for confirmation.
"Uh...yeah, sure!" Rainbow responded, rubbing her mane uncomfortably, thinking about his words and seeing the logic in them.
The way to deal with the ponies hurting you is to make it clear that you can stop them. Bullies never like being beat. So you need to win against them. You need to make them feel humiliated, and it will be made clear then who is the pony that is strong.
And if they continue to come after you? Then you need to make their fear of you stronger than their hate. Make their pain stronger than their hate. Which I intend to do as soon as I possess the capability. I will not stand on the lower rung of life and do nothing! That's all I've ever done! That's all I've ever done when somepony decides to hurt me! Nothing!
And so in response, I responded that it was an accident, that I had been caught in an overturned dumpster and I hurt myself and that was why my clothes were dirty and wet, and why I was slashed across the face. Celestia bought it and wished me luck with my recovery.
"Oh, and by the way?" she added. "I reviewed the tapes, and it seems like you were, in fact, the only pony working responsibly on the project."
At that I sat up. "That's good to know," I responded. "What's going to happen to Alpha Nevada?"
"He'll be put on probation of the project," Celestia said to me. "He's proved himself to be untrustworthy. He will be suspended from it."
I couldn't believe it. I guess I can say I called it. My face felt more numb than before, incredibly. "Why not send him to jail for lying and... and plagiarism?" I asked in shock. Oh my gosh, it hurt to talk!
"Because remember what happened to you, Bright Mind. Remember when Count Privilege caught you looking at pornographic images?"
Before I could respond in outrage, Celestia continued. "I gave you a second chance then, and I'm giving him a second chance now. It's mercy, Bright Mind. Mercy is the gift of all, not just the ponies accused falsely of pornography."
Well, at least she knows I'm innocent because of that.
But no, that's false. The merciful obtain mercy. If you don't try to become better than who you are, why should you receive that gift? You won't be forgiven of your crimes if you intend on repeating them! The unrepentant are the unforgiven!
Twilight immediately felt uncomfortable upon reading those words. Wasn't that the exact same expression Ironheart used before he had given False Felony a mortal wound?
Twilight flipped to the last section of text, the last bookmarked page in the book. Outside the rain was smattering against the window like it wanted to invade the apartment, and another cricking, crackling tear of lightning appeared and a BOOM resonated forth.
6/13/1000: This is the last entry I will ever make while I reside in my tabernacle of clay that is my physical body of flesh and blood.
Applejack gulped. "Is he gonna kill himself?" she asked fearfully. "That's what it sounds like here, and Ah don't like it one bit!"
"Of course he's not killing himself," Rarity said with her voice full of doubt. "Ironheart said that he killed Bright Mind, not that he committed suicide. Maybe Bright Mind ordered Ironheart to kill him, and by so doing, fueled Ironheart's lust for vengeance?"
"Come on!" Rainbow Dash groaned in exasperation. "So far we've had a lot of guesses about who's responsible here. First he was nameless, and then we saw the name Ironheart and we thought it was Case File. Then we knew it wasn't him when he died earlier today and we got taken to the Ultraground. Then we saw that it was a robot! And now we know that it's not Ironheart's fault at all, but instead a result of the pony that created him, who's a suicidal nutjob that wants to kill the ponies that hurt him when he was young! Which is the real deal, huh?"
Twilight had different thoughts about that, but she wanted to be absolutely sure before she voiced them. Her suspicion was worse than any previous thought they had about Ironheart and Bright Mind.
I haven't written in a while because I've been hard at work on the final result of Ironheart. The plan's changed. Ironheart will not be under my control anymore, because I'll be giving it a higher purpose.
I've been studying magic in my private lab now. I've snuck some of the more restricted books out of the Royal Canterlot Library, so no one else can know what's been going on here. I've been studying the physical and astral forms and seeing how they interact. It's a known fact that we all have a spirit. All living things have spirits. But our spirit is the part of us that is who we truly are, not our brain or our hearts. It's our spirits! Our spirits house our personalities, our thoughts, our emotions, our perspectives. It turns out that your body, if deprived of your spirit, is simply an empty shell, a pitiful being without form or purpose. A void. Like Ironheart.
But if you were to infuse your spirit with another thing, like another pony, another physical thing, that object is now where your spirit is, and that object is now where you are. You are not a body with a spirit. You are instead a spirit trapped inside a weak body.
Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes at the page. "What is he suggesting?" she asked suspiciously.
Bright Mind shall no longer be myself anymore. By transferring my spirit into the machine, I shall become something greater. I shall become my own creation.
The words hit everyone hard all at once.
The tabernacle of clay shall become a tabernacle of steel for me. I shall rise above the limitations imposed by me by the natural world and become something stronger. Faster. Braver. All that I need to do is cast a spell that I've perfected in my solo time over the past six months. Nopony checks up on me anyway in my lab, so I've worked in even more secrecy than before. The spell shall transfer my own spirit into the empty shell of Ironheart. I'm not nervous about if it goes well at all. If it fails, then so what? At least I won't be on this earth anymore.
I now step into the unknown. I am charging the spell now. I am killing you, Bright Mind, for once I depart from your feeble weak body, I shall be something better than you. I've always hated you, more than anypony else, because of your weakness and your failure. I need to stop writing now. I need to focus on the spell. The output of energy produced by the spell could produce a massive explosion that could destroy my laboratory. And so much the better; I want nopony to exploit my inventions.
You should have understood that if Alpha Nevada didn't kill you, I would. Good-bye, Bright Mind.
"NO!" Fluttershy gasped out loud. She rushed out and gripped the two sides of the book, staring into its depths. "Please, don't do this!"
After a prolonged moment Twilight coughed. "Fluttershy... I think he's already done it."
Fluttershy feverishly turned the pages of the book, her eyes wide and her mouth open. On the opposite side of the page was more words. The hoofwriting was smoother now, and not as desperate and fast-written as the previous words.
It worked.
Twilight felt as though something had been ripped away out of her life upon reading those two words. He had taken that path. He had fallen that far. He had done the unthinkable experiment. He had done the impossible. And he had become an abomination of nature. She continued to read the straight words, done now by a precise metal appendage.
The greatest experiment in the history of the world worked! Ponies can rise above their natural limitations and create their own limits! We can rise above their awful and fallen state to become artificial, immortal angels possessed with almost limitless power!
Right now, in the wreckage of my former lab, in the remnants of my former life, I see through the smoke a limp body, covered with burns and cuts. That mortal shell is now empty, now only a broken pot that had its contents poured into some other vessel before it died. Because the vessel only matters in terms of strength of holding its contents. And so I grin in achievement upon seeing the pony that no longer matters to me-- Bright Mind. He is dead, killed by my own hoof.
Let the others gloat in their luck when they see my body. Let them celebrate and praise themselves for pushing him to the edge. But how far can you push a pony to the edge of a precipice before he starts to fight back?
They will discover that their fight has only just begun.
I wish not for power, or fame, or glory. Those are only for weak ponies that can't stand on their own. All I want is to make sure nopony will ever hurt me again. I will not give them the chance.
Or the choice.
I cannot die. I am immortal. I am Ironheart.
I will rise. I will exact vengeance.
And every last traitorous soul shall bow in my shadow.
Her friends gasped aloud. Twilight looked up, feeling shocked to her very core, remembering with clarity what was written on a piece of metal they had discovered on the docks. The words were the same, their meaning drastically different; from a taunting mock intended for Case File; to a declaration of war on the world itself from a pony irreparably damaged by it.
"It's Bright Mind," Twilight whispered. She set the book down. And all impossibility was now suddenly possible now that the revelation was spoken aloud. "The Night Terror... is Bright Mind."
And outside, the world resonated with the firing of a thunderbolt.
First off, props to Anti-Villain (Now Xanatos Speed Chess) for guessing it way before I was planning on revealing Ironheart's identity. And his guess made me a little nervous at first; what about spoilers? So I didn't respond to anything he said in order to conceal the secret. Anyway, good job, Anti-Villain! Give yourself a hand! (Begins wild round of applause on his behalf.)
This is one of the more emotional, angry chapters I ever wrote, and it took a long time. But hopefully you won't care. You can look over it and see clearly his anguish and his pain and his irritation and anger.
On a side note, Ironheart's name (and theme I played in my head whenever he showed up) was based on this music piece:
It's his theme! Every good character needs a proper theme for himself!
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
1,047 users online
1,428,398 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I Fuckin knew It...
Ok, its pretty clear that by the end basically everyone involved in the project will be dead, only thing tha remains is....will the journal be published? as a warning for the future? will celestia consent given her own involvement?
I have to admit, I didn’t see the identity coming and thought that Night Terror actually killed Bright Mind because he had murderous intentions.
Ladies and Gentleman, we have just witnessed a ysage of what I like to call Star Wars logic. Basically, it’s when a character says they did something, but it can be viewed differently “from a certain point of view.” So, basically Bright Mind pulled a self-inflicted Darth Vader.
8614915
(Shakes head in amusement.) So are you complaining?
8615423
N’aw, I was just being funny. It was executed wonderfully. I kinda had a sneaking suspicion about it, but I still got a nice payoff when it was finally revealed. Good job. 👍
This is wonderful writing! The tragedy of it is wonderfully framed. That arguments in the journal just make you question it all! I cannot wait to see more!
How many of you guys knew it was Bright Mind since chapter 2, rise your hand :D.
This is simple truth. Thomas Jefferson even said, "Those who melt down their weapons to make plowshares, will plow for those who did not." Bright Mind was right about EVERYTHING and I wholeheartedly support his endeavor.
I was really hoping it was Bright Mind after Case File died, especially when reading his journal, and not just a machine with the same purpose. It feels really satisfying seeing the abused gain power against their oppressors... though in this case, he would be the anti-hero
9522274
I guess after Case File died, everyone suspected the abused, dead pony that wasn't even in the present game anymore. And they were right! I really liked writing this chapter.
This is it, this is the first time I have ever gotten so mad at a fictional character I broke something in real life. Well done on the emotions.
9969334
I'm... honored? I mean, wow. That's a new one.
Who was it you were mad at?
9969345
Alpha worst-state. He is the single biggest asshat I've ever read about and I hate him so much for all the stuff he put bright through. I got so mad reading about the assault I snapped a pen I was fiddling with in my other hand.
9969345
My hand is stained with so much red it looks like I just killed someone.