Another Champion, First Skirmish- Edited
Chapter 5- Another Champion, First Skirmish
"Would you like some more tea?" Sweetie Bell asked her guest. She was sitting down at the table inside Rarity's kitchen. Across from her, a human held a tea cup on a saucer, he had dark brown hair that was short, and brown eyes.He was dressed in a henley shirt and blue jeans, with brown hiking boots on his feet. He looked a bit uncomfortable, trying to fit his frame into the seat.
"Oh, umm, no, I'm good," Nathan Drake said, shifting again in his seat. It was okay tea, but it was not his favorite drink. How in the world did he even know how the tea tasted if he was in a lucid dream? "Do you know how long will it take for your sister to finish with her dress?" Nate asked, blinking once.
Sweetie Bell picked up her head and turned to look over at the door leading out of the kitchen. "Oh, I don’t think too much. When she starts singing, it usually means she’s close," the tiny unicorn said.
"Stitch by stitch," a mumbled melody was heard coming from the other room.
Nathan gave a sigh and looked out the window. He could have sworn he was still at Shambhala. Lazarevic had been defeated, and the last thing he could remember was outrunning a long stone bridge as it came apart. Right?
Out of breath and trying to recover, he threw himself at the end and lay down to catch a breath of air. When he opened his eyes to see again, he was lying inside a tailor shop. Little to his dismay, it had been a boutique. The owner, a marshmallow unicorn, had said she was too busy thanks to her job and had to take care of an order. This "Rarity" hadn't even bothered to look at his direction before he was told to go into the kitchen for tea.
So now he was being entertained by Sweetie Bell. So far, he had learned a lot. He had taken the time to write them in his journal. He even sketched Sweetie Bell as a reference. So far-
1. This land was called Equestria.
2. Ruled by "Alicorns," who had a horn, wings, and apparently are taller than others.
3. Pegasus type ponies control the weather.
4. Unicorn type ponies can use magic, but most specialize in a particular field of magic. He wrote down "Rarity" specialized in levitation and mineral finding.
5. Earth ponies were the strongest, and could posses various powers. He was told to ask "Pinkie" as an example.
6. All the pony types posses a cutie mark, save children. Something about a rite of passage into adulthood.
7. There was nothing decent to eat! There were almost no meat eaters, and those that did eat meat resorted to fish. (Apparently ponies ate plant life like horses from his world did, like hay, grass, flowers, not to mention confectionary treats like no one on Earth could. The only thing that he could eat were muffins that weren’t saturated with sugar or plant life that he could not digest.)
8. He was not the only human, despite how many ponies spotted outside the window. He had spotted a human walking with a orange pony wearing a cowboy hat not too long ago.
9. These ponies were cute as hell.
And that's it. Luckily, Sweetie Bell did not mind answering all these questions. She had nothing to do while Rarity worked, and she could not meet the Crusaders until Applebloom finished her chores. Done with his notes, he took a moment to enjoy tea and now it was his turn to answer Sweetie Bell's questions.
"Alright, are you ready now?" Asked the small unicorn with a smile. She had gotten a journalist hat and had a pad and pen, ready to act professionally. Dear god she looked too cute, like something that belonged to a Disney cartoon.
"Fire away, I owe you that-" Nate said with a smile.
"Get Away!" Came from outside.
"Huh?" Asked Sweetie, picking up her head.
"What was that?" Nate asked, dropping the tea and picking up his journal. He was more concerned with the sound of the magical blast than the shouting
"That came from the front!" Rarity shouted. She pushed her head through into the kitchen to look down at Sweetie Bell. "Oh thank Celestia, you are still here-" She stopped talking, looking over at the human.
"Did you lock the door?" Nate asked, getting up and frowning a bit. He moved to the kitchen doorway and peek over Rarity. It looks like nothing was coming from the front entrance. Rarity slowly moved into the kitchen, trying to get between Sweetie Bell and the human. While she wasn't sure this human meant no harm, it was better be safe than sorry.
"Uhh, no. I decided to check on my guest and sister first..." Rarity said cautiously. This human was nowhere as stylish as Phoenix Wright. But he did have a certain roguish charm...
"Well, it looks like nothing is trying to get in," Nate said. His right hand moved to reach for his sidearm. Unfortunately, while he was still wearing his favorite shoulder gun holster, it was empty. Damnit. if this was his lucid dream, why couldn't he dream of having a gun?
"That shouting sounded like my friend Twilight..." Rarity said.
"Do you think miss Twilight is in trouble?" Sweetie Bell asked.
Nate moved quickly to the front window. His right hand moved to pull a purple curtain slowly open and peek outside. In hindsight, he should have asked what things were dangerous in this land. He spotted a strange creature that was not a pony. It was black, with... holes? No, more like missing parts of its body. He wanted to say it had a horn, but more like a thorn, and its eyes were a pale, sickly kind of green.
"What is that thing...." Nate whispered. He had to move a bit, feeling something poking his side. Rarity had moved to look out the window, then immediately drew her head back and narrowed her eyes.
"Its a Changeling!" she seethed, her voice low. Noting her response, Nate quickly closed the curtain back to block the view inside.
"I take it those are bad?" Nate asked, keeping his voice low.
"Really bad? They are not allowed in Equestria, they can change shape at will and feed off ponies, like parasites," Rarity said, clearly upset. "If they are out there, Twilight is in danger! She can handle a few, but not a lot!" The anger vanished out of her face and was replaced by fear.
"Damnit," Nate said, clearly upset. What was he supposed to do? The best option was to stay put and shut the door. But it was not in him to just stand by and do nothing either. "You two stay here, I am going to check it out."
"You are not going out there! Twilight is my friend, and I insist on helping her!" Rarity said, moving to block the door.
"What about your sister?" Nate asked, turning to look at Sweetie Bell. The little filly looked worried.
"Sweetie Bell, I need you to go upstairs to your room. Lock your door, and get your battle gear on. Do not open the door, unless I give the password," Rarity said. Nate closed both eyes a bit, wondering why sisters would have a password system. What kind of battle gear could a tiny unicorn wear anyway?
"But sis-"
"Promise me! A changeling could change into me and then lure you to open the door! Promise me you will do as I say?" Rarity said. She stepped up to give a sister a hug and then look down at her face.
"I- I promise." Sweetie Bell said, moving to hug her sister back. She quickly took off.
"Lets go, ah...Sir. I am sorry for moving you to the kitchen like that," Rarity said, watching her sister head upstairs.
"Call me Nate, all my friends do," He said. They both went to the door and Nathan held the handle. "At the count of three, we rush in," He said. "What's Twilight look like anyway?"
"She's purple, the one shooting light out of her horn," Rarity said. She narrowed her eyes and nodded up at him.
"Three!" They both yelled out together. Nate pulled the door open and they rushed out, Rarity first, and then Nate.
___________________________________
After Spike told Twilight about how the spell reacted, Twilight was upset. The spell had not failed, but because it had been fundamentally changed- The needed result was altered. Something had been summoned. She was sure of it. But who or what?
"Spike, we have to go find the ponies I summoned," Twilight said. Spike jumped on her back as she moved to exit the library.
"Shouldn't we send the Princess a letter?" Asked the toddler dragon, not that he was looking forward to it.
"No, Princess Celestia is much too occupied, and I do not want to worry her. No, we have to find the pony or ponies I summoned and then report to her. I don’t think I summoned anything dangerous anyway, the spell called for champions. I am more worried about how they feel about taken away from their homes." Twilight said as she lowered her head.
"Gotcha. So how do we find them?" Asked Spike. He moved from her back to place his claws on her mane and look around.
"I think they should have some magic residue around them. I will simply use a detect magic spell and look around Ponyville," Twilight said. She raised her head to focus her magic into her horn, a faint purple hue filled her horn, and Twilight smiled. She decided to head over towards the marketplace first. Get some supplies in case this search took longer than she wanted.
Had she stayed a few more moments, she would have seen Applejack and Dovahkiin materialize out of thin air outside the library.
"What did you do?" Applejack asked, looking around. They had taken a while to get to the library and had lost some time. First, they had stopped to let the Dovahkiin change. Then they went to the farm to let them know everything was ok. The human warrior liked Big Macintosh, he spoke little but had great understanding in his eyes. There was also a matter of lunch and swapping apple recipes.
"What do you mean? I just reversed time," Dovahkiin said. It was late afternoon when they both arrived. Applejack looked upset that they had little time in the day left.
"Well the moment ah agreed to follow ya, time went all screwy!" Applejack said. She saw as the sun moved from its position back to noon, and ponies moving backwards or disappearing from view at a rapid pace.
"Can no one else do that? I can change time forward or backwards, but only so much time within a day," Dovahkiin said. It was the same in Skyrim. Even though he was in a different place, it looks like he would still be different from all the others. He moved his hand out to open the door and hold it open for her. "Shall we?"
"Well aren't cha a gentlecolt," Applejack said, smiling. Something told her this ‘human’ had a lot of things to hide, finding out may be just be fun. She walked through the door and Dovahkiin followed inside.
_______________________________________
Twilight reached the marketplace, spotting all of the carts and stand of the ponies. The smells in the air made her smile. Spike always went shopping, so she didn't have a chance to visit and view the sights and smells. She brought her her head turning left to right, trying to scan using her horn. Since there were so many ponies here, it made sense that a high chance a champion would make its way here. Her horn glowed brighter than it had before. Something was here.
Junebug, an orange creme pony that sold flowers, spotted Twilight. She gave her a smile and walked up to her. She had her flowers at the moment, and they were carried inside a basket filled with her trademark daisies on each of her sides. The scent of the flowers made Twilight salivate a bit.
"Hello Twilight. Hello Spike. Its rare to see the both of you here together," Junebug said, her voice very pleasant to Twilight.
"Hello Junebug, its nice to see you too," Twilight said. Her horn was glowing a bit brighter. Spike turned his head to the side at the jump in power. Then then raised an eyebrow. Why did Twilight and Junebug sound so much alike?
"Is there something wron with your horn?" Junebug asked, lifting her head to look at the purple glowing hue.
"Oh, this? I am using a magic detection spell. It glows when it finds something using magic," Twilight explained. "I am looking for somepony."
"Oh? And did you find them?" Junebug asked, lowering her head again. Spike had closed both eyes to listen to the two. He could swear that if he couldn't see them, he would not be able to tell them apart by sound.
"I think so..." Twilight said. Although she was not sure who it was just yet.
"Changelings! We have been found out! Attack!" Junebug cried out, lifting her head up. Instantly, various ponies picked up their head. Some were vendors, and some had been shopping. Some of the ponies picked up their head at the sound of the word Changelings.
"I have no idea how you found us, Twilight Sparkle. But without you, there is no way the other Elements will be able to fight us! And since you are by yourself, you’re easy pickings," Junebug said, a sinister grin forming on her face. Other ponies begun to gather to encircle Twilight. Confused ponies begun to walk away, while others just stared. About 20 or so ponies had converged with Junebug.
"Changelings? All of you? But how- why?" Twilight said, taking a few steps back. Spike looked worried, his front claws grasped at her mane.
"I think a teleport spell would be good right about now..." Spike trailed off, looking around at the faces of angry ponies. This looked like it would be too many for her to handle.
"We can't Spike, we don't know how many Changelings are in Ponyville. If we escape, they could find us later and we will never know who they are," Twilight said, looking around. Good, the more they huddled around her, the better she could blast them. The detect spell she had on her horn was dispelled, and the purple hue over the horn vanished.
"What makes you think you could get away anyway?" Junebug said in a low and sinister voice. The orange creme "pony" shed her baskets of flowers. The other Changelings also dropped their belongings and converged on Twilight and Spike once again.
"Get away!" Twilight shouted. She needed time to cast a spell and get as many Changelings focused on her and not the true ponies. She shut her eyes and then focused her magic as much as she could. After a second, she opened her eyes to reveal they were pure white. A bright flash of magic flared out of her horn and into the sky. A ring of purple magic escaped from the bottom of her horn to spread across the immediate area.
The fake ponies shut their eyes and lowered themselves to brace for impact. They had no idea what this magic was for. The purple ring washed over each of the ponies still in the area. The disguised form of the ponies was removed, leaving only the true form of the Changelings. Well, save one gray male pony with a blonde mane that was mixed with the group. The Changelings opened their eyes and found their shapeshifting power was disabled.
"Hey! This is not the line for the tubs of jelly!" The only male pony in the group of Changelings said. "Buck this, I’ll look for them on other place!," He said and walked away. Twilight, Spike, and the Changelings all watched as the odd pony walked away.
"Confused?" Asked Spike, an eyebrow raised as his fear was gone for a second.
"Leave him! We must get Twilight! What did you did to our powers?" The Changeling that had been Junebug asked with a scowl. Twilight smirked, her eyes returning to normal.
"I cast a dispell field. Anypony using magic or abilities touched by the ring will have their powers blocked for a while," Twilight replied. "And the skybolt spell was just a flare to let the other Elements know where I am, not to mention anypony else watching the skies." Twilight then lowered her head to bring her horn to point out at the changelings. She couldn't use magic for a bit, but at least this way she had exposed the true face of the Changelings. Hopefully her friends and Princess Celestia would be able to see the skybolt.
"Should I send a letter of S.O.S.?" Spike asked. Luckily, since they were going to send a letter once they found the champion pony, he was ready for a letter.
"That spell should also have affected your dragon fire," Said Twilight. She had little choice in the matter, either send for help, or let some Changelings escape.
"Stop them!" Screamed another Changeling. The invaders moved in, not caring their forms were revealed. Twilight kept her stare of defiance, daring them to get close. That is, until she raised her eyebrows. What in Princess Celestia's royal mane?
Rarity charged into the group of Changelings, her horn lowered to ram into any of them in the back. Twilight couldn't see too well, the dark bodies of the vampiric creatures blocked the view. One of the Changelings was sent into the air with a large "Oww!" Nathan Drake had performed a baseball slide into the legs of the one sent flying. He then quickly stood up and gave a short jump into the air. His left fist threw a haymaker punch, driving the force of his weight behind the punch to send it into the face of another foe.
"Twilight!" Rarity shouted out. She turned her body around to throw both of her back hooves in a donkey kick into a Changeling. "Are you okay?" She followed up. The Changelings took note that someone was attacking them from behind. Nate moved his right hand to grab a horn of a Changeling. He pulled it to bring it closer to himself, unable to fight the shift in balance, the shape changer moved against its will. The human then ducked down and hoisted that Changeling unto his back. With a grunt, he stood up and then tossed the creature over his head into a huddled group.
"A human?" Twilight asked, her eyes opened wide in confusion.
"Less talkie, more fightie," Nate said, lifting both of his fists up to take a fighting stance. He was able to get a few lucky shots in, but only because they had the element of surprise. His left hand also hurt a bit, punching that thing felt like punching a tree. Rarity took a few steps back, finding her back to Nate. A Changeling almost hit her with a swipe and it made her cautious.
"Why are you not blasting them with magic, Twilight!" Rarity said, ducking under a front kick. Nate jumped forward a little, moving his right foot up in a kick. Too bad it missed its target.
"I can't! I am using a suppression spell to keep the Changelings from shape shifting and its also affecting me!" Twilight said. She hopped forward, glad for the distraction to kick a Changeling in the side of its face.
"Ah crap," Nate said. They creatures were lower than him, so it was hard to connect with his fists. And his kicks were coming up missing. These "Changelings" could dodge well. One of the dark creature jumped up, moving to go for Twilight. That is, until a Rainbow blur ran into it and knocked it out of the air.
"The Cavalry is here! And I brought some firepower!" Rainbow Dash said, hoving in the air above Twilight.
"Rainbow Dash! Who did you-" Twilight looked up at her friend and then looked over at the group running up.
"Heigh ho Pinkie! Charge!" Dan was riding of top Pinkie Pie, holding a glass axe, courtesy of the Dovahkiin. He pointed the axe forward, pointing at the Changelings. The duo charged forward, Dan giving a battle cry and swinging his new axe.
Applejack rushed towards Rarity, headbutting a shapeshifter that was about to hit the fancy unicorn. Dovahkiin stepped behind her slowly, his bow drawn. One by one, arrows charge with Lighting and Frost found their way into the flanks and bodies of Changelings.
"Applejack! Just in time!" Rarity said, smiling at her rustic friend. Nate raised an eyebrow, looking at the others coming.
"We are not out tha woods yet," Applejack smiled. A Changeling that was about to hit her found itself twitching in place as an arrow hit its neck.
"Umm, Spike, Twilight, are you hurt?" A voice above the two said. Twilight looked up and saw Fluttershy landing next to them, next to her, a giant white bat flew.
"Fluttershy! Are we glad to see you guys!" Spike said, relieved.
"Yes, we're fine thanks to you..." Twilight stopped speaking when the white bat transformed into Soma Cruz. The transformation was quick, the bat growing larger, but getting thinner as it took form of a human. He landed on the ground with a flourish, his duster jacket spreading out as he crouched. The teen stood up slowly, moving his left hand out to bring out his weapon- A pair of nunchuks.
"What the-" Spike said, thrown back by the transformation. Fluttershy scooped up the baby dragon and begun to fly again.
"Take him to safety. I wonder if these things have a soul I can dominate," Soma said, narrowing his eyes at the Changelings staring at him. One of them wondered if the silvered hair youth was a shapeshifter also. Only stunned for a second, one stupid Changeling moved forward. Soma quickly unleashed his nunchuks in a spiraling flurry. One, two, slap, and another hit after hit from the weapon made the shapeshifter wince in pain.
"What is going on? Where did all these humans come from?" Asked Spike, blinking as he was getting a bird's eye view of the battle. The tiny dragon saw a Changeling running for its life, Dan and Pinkie were chasing after it.
Phoenix took off from the ground with a crouch, and then launched himself into the air with a super jump. He landed next to Rainbow Dash, frowning a bit. While the others were doing ok, he needed the Judge and Maya, to bring out his more effective attacks. Also, he was still stuck in investigation mode. He had only found a vase and a photo. Still, there were a few things he could do. He reached into his suit and pulled out a banana. He squeezed the edible part out and begun to eat it.
"I am Phoenix Wright! Fear my eyeballs!" The former lawyer yelled out. A Changeling facing him cowered a bit, not sure what to expect. Phoenix then leaned forward and threw the banana peel into its face. The Changeling had its eyes shut as the yellow remains hit its face, and then slid down slowly.
"I can't believe you just did that," Rainbow Dash said, bringing a hoof to her face. Why had her hero done such a lame move? Phoenix merely rushed forward at his foe. The Changeling, trying to decide what the hell that was about, was caught by surprise. Too bad for it, for Phoenix ran headfirst into the banana peel and slipped. In turn, Wright landed on top of it and caused it to wince in pain.
"It worked, didn't it?!" Phoenix said, moving to get back up. He was preparing himself to do another move. He stood up as tall as he could, gathering as much air into his lungs as he could. There was a lot of changelings left, Some of the ones that had taken blows were getting back up. His left hand shot out pointing with his index finger, and he said with a loud voice.
"HOLD IT!"
The force of his scream made everyone freeze. The Changelings that had been looking at Phoenix immediately found themselves paralyzed, unable to move. The Mare 6 and the humans turned to look at Phoenix, amazed his voice could project like that.
"Impressive Thu'um," Dovahkiin said, clearly impressed, his own paralyzing dragon shout was not that effective.
"That won't hold them for long! Quickly, there has to be a way to bring them down," Phoenix shouted, looking around for an answer.
"The horns! The horns are the source of their shapeshifting power! If we can cut it off, it should knock them out! And we need to hurry, the spell keeping them from shapeshifting will wear off soon!" Twilight said. She made it a point to study up on the Changelings, in case they would ever have to do battle again.
"The horns huh? So that's how we hurt them." Dan said with a wicked grin. Pinkie Pie smiled, glad to see that Dan was happy.
"Next time, I get to ride you!" Pinkie said. Dan's eyes quickly shot open, staring at the pink one with surprise. Dan looked around quickly, wondering if anyone else heard that. He just moved to get off Pinkie and hold the axe with both his hands.
"Vengance!" Dan yelled, lifting both of his arms up to raise the axe up. Pinkie Pie brought out her party cannon and fired it up, behind Dan to make his look cooler with fireworks and confetti in the background.
"Let's do this!" Soma said, putting away his nunchucks. Now that he knew he needed a cutting weapon, he brought out a new weapon out. The Nebula, the holy snake whip sword. Fluttershy smiled, seeing Soma smile.
"Beware, beware the Dragonborn comes," The Dovahkiin said. He knew his arrows were doing damage, but the special Nightingale Bow was running out of soul power. He put them away, and then drew out his special weapon. The Nightingale Blade, the vampiric sword that absorbed health and stamina. Applejack in turn, brought out her lasso and begun to spin it around in the air above herself.
"The horn huh?" Phoenix said, turning to look at the horn on one of the changelings. He had no weapons, so all her had to do was find some evidence. He quickly kneeled to the ground and begun to search the ground. In a short time, he found the last piece of evidence- A watch. He grinned, moving to stand up.
"Bridge to Turnabout!" He shouted, unleashing a burst of energy around himself. He was now shining a bright yellow aura around his form. Rainbow Dash lost the look of embarrassment and her eyes slowly lit up as it reflected the light Phoenix gave out. That was the look! That was the confident and awesome lawyer that had stood in court on her behalf.
"SO COOL!" Rainbow Dash shouted.
Nate grinned, looking on at the others. He had no idea who they wore, only that they were here to help. He had no weapons to fight, but he could at least help out someway. He noticed that his baseball slide was effective on these things. Maybe because their legs were missing peices? At the least, he could trip them up and give the others a chance to connect with their weapons.
"Hey guys, I had everything under control until you showed up," Nate said with a grin. He simply raised both hands again to make fists.
"Are you sure about that, dear?" Rarity asked, moving to get in position at Nate's side. Rarity tossed a diamond up at Nate's chest. "Its a diamond dear, hardest stuff on the planet. It should cut a horn with enough force."
"Trust me, I've done this before," he replied with a wink after catching the diamond. The Changelings were coming out of the paralysis and growled.
"Attack!" Yelled Dan as he jumped into the air, swinging the axe over his head and bringing it down on the horn of the Changeling he had been chasing. One horn down as it flew and spun in the air.
Soma threw his right hand out to send out the mystic whip to wrap around a horn. He then grasped the Nebula with both his hands and tugged back quickly, sawing off the horn.
Applejack threw her lasso out to hook it around a changeling's neck and pull it back towards the Dovahkiin. He held the weapon like a baseball bat and then swung it forward. The blade sliced the horn off as the Changeling continued to swing forward. It was sent flying a few seconds before Applejack released the lasso and let it slam against a cart.
Nate rushed forward and then jumped up towards a changeling. He brought his left leg out to slide as he landed to make a Changeling trip and fall to the ground. The treasure hunter quickly got to his left knee. Grasping the diamond in his left hand, he swung it down as hard as he could down on the creature's horn. That diamond cut through horn with a clang, leaving a dull stinging in his hand. Still, Drake smiled. He had a cutting weapon.
By now, some of the vampiric shapeshifters were getting hesitant. They saw horns on the ground, and the Changelings that had their horns removed gave a loud shriek before fainting to the ground. Some started to retreat, only to find themselves butting into Phoenix.
"The ones that actually committed the crime... Were you!" Phoenix exclaimed, pointing at the Changelings. The small group instantly found themselves shocked with damage. "No alibi, no justice, no dreams, no hope!" Continued the Ace Attorney attack, Phoenix hitting some papers as he frowned. "Its time for you to pay for your crimes!" The Changelings were thrown into a panic. What was this strange attack? Phoenix drew his left hand back and then he moved out to point his index finger at the group.
"TAKE THAT!" Phoenix shouted, causing an explosion to occur in the middle. The changelings caught in the blast fell to the ground, apparently knocked out. Phoenix lost his bright aura as he drew his hand back.
"So awesome!" Rainbow Dash said in a low voice. Her front hooves moved to hold her cheeks, which were puffed out. Apparently, the others were also impressed, even Dan took a moment, making a mental note not to get on the bad side of the former lawyer.
The remaining Changelings quickly took off, running from the group and towards the road leading to the Everfree Forest.
"Should we chase after the varmints?" Asked Applejack, watching them leave. In all honesty, she was impressed by these humans. While no slouch, these humans were better fighters and able to cut the horns off the Changelings.
"No, if they reach the Everfree Forest, who knows what else can attack us, also, we have company," Twilight said with a smile. She turned to look up, seeing a bright chariot pulled by pegasi bringing Princess Celestia down towards the group.
The Mare Six left the humans and lined up, looking up at the princess. The humans turned to look at each other a moment. Dan and Wright simply nodded at each other, heading to stand behind the ponies. Soma shrugged at Nate, and then headed off to follow the others. Dovahkiin blinked once and look at the Princess and walked. Nate stood up and wiped sweat from his brow. after catching his breath, he headed off to join his fellow humans.
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You spelled filly wrong its not Philly it's Filly
Do not mess With the fucking lawyer for he is Phoenix wright
play.esea.net/global/media_preview.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fi1213.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc474%2Fjimmyram70%2Fdis-gon-b-gud.gif
Okay, this is actually kind of cool. It's a mess, yes, but cool none the less. I know all of the characters involved (I HATED SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT, THOUGH). So, you have Nathan Drake (PS series), Phoenix Wright (Nintendo handheld), Dovahkiin (PC gaming, as that is where the series originates). Soma (Nintendo/PlayStation), Dan (TV series), The Doctor (again. TV Series). To balance it out (if you want to do that), add a ps series, two xbox ones, and a pc series (TF2 always seems to work in these cases)
Now, when i say mess, i mean it's all over the place. There is no concrete plot at the moment, and any plot there is is just shoved in your face. I read another fic similar to this in the fact that they had characters from different places interacting with one another. It's in my favorites and its name escapes me, but that had a concrete plot, a very nice build up, and a resolute ending that was rather satisfying, in a sense. This is very stutter-y and jumpy, going from character to character, and occasionally the character is not even in character (phoenix wright is rather tricky to write about, though...). You kind of introduced the plot a bit too quickly without giving enough of a setting, and characters are introduced somewhat strangely. You have good grammar and sentence structure for someone who has this as a second language, so that is good.It is fun to drop a reference from time to time, but don't let that be your main staple of comedy. The MvC3 thing was fun, but it's not really phoenix Wright. He is a bit awkward, somewhat introverted at times and really cares about his loved ones. He second guesses a lot, and is never really sure about anything, unless he has an absolute understanding of whats going on. He has a stone cold poker face from his time in the courtroom, and has been shown to be extremely lucky and take a beating. If that scene were to work, he would be more like 'oh god i hope this works... "HOLD IT!" they stop 'I cant believe that actually worked! that would be more in character for him.
bleh. i could say more, but i really have to sleep. goodbye and good luck with your story. It's not great, but it's not bad. Hope this helps!
Ahem, I would like more good comrade...
UMVC3 B*******, Ho-AH! Also, How many people got that Hero 108 reference?
964602
I honestly didn't think anyone else would get the Hero 108 reference.
Good chapter.
And this just shows. DON'T MESS WITH PHOENIX WRIGHT PEOPLE.
I don't know who this Nathan Drake character is, but I'm starting to like him
TAKE THAT
i keep wanting the wabbajack to come into play, i want a sweet roll changeling XD
yay Nathan Drake
so we have Drake, a dragon born, a pyromancer/ loyer, and a dragon, among others they have a lot in common
i will have to read the rest of this story tomorrow.
MUST. SLEEP. FOR. AWESOMENESS. O_O
Phoenix needs a new attack and I have one!
Behold! Phoenix Scratch's Wub Assault!
964602 I did I got all the references
Phoenix UMVC3 FTW
This is so dorky it turn cool
I can only assume that you based Phoenix's fighting style from the Playstation Superstars Battle Royal that came out on the PS3 not too long ago, amiright? 'Scuse me for a sec while I look into some of his fights on said game (also, sorry if I got the name of the game wrong).
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Actually, Phoenix's fighting style is from Ultimate Marvel Vs Capcom 3. He wouldn't be in Playstation Battle Royale, because the Ace Attorney series has always been on Nintendo Handhelds (and iOS, but we don't count that.)
Awesome
NERDGASM GALORE
Oh god.
Picturing Drake drinking tea with Sweetie Bell in the quite frilly Carousel Boutique is the greatest thing ever.
Erm, I've only played the first Phoenix Wright game, so...
When did he learn to blow things up with his finger???
LAWYER POWERS! ACTIVATE!
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Marvel vs. Capcom 3. He is one of the fighters in that game, and that's his lv. 3 hyper.
Now all we need is for everyone to have a personalizied Breakdown!
The "Order in the Court" isn't really the judge but a projection of Phoenix's Nightmare.
I really whish to see him use this attack in later chapters.
I knew Phoenix would have his UMvC3 moves. XD
He is the hope of the courtroom. He is the answer to all living things that cry out for justice. HE IS PHOENIX WRIGHT! AND HE IS A SUPER LAWYER!
2604392 marvel vs. capcom . phoenix wright wins.
Did anyone else get that Hero 108 reference, with Pheonix Wright and his Banana?
OK, OK, that was pretty funny! (I think my favorite human/humanoid was Phoenix Wright.) But, uhm… This needs editing—all over the place.
God, I love fight scenes.
Something told her this human had a lot of things hidden. Finding out may be just be fun.
the first "be" is superfluous, delete it.
SInce there were so many ponies here, it made sense that a high chance a champion would make it way here.
first of all, the second "it" should be "its" (that is, if you consider a champion genderless. If they could be male or female, use "his/her" or "their", even if it refers to a singular noun)
secondly, the whole clause needs revising, something like "it made sense that a champion is likely to make his/her way here"
Twilight reached the marketplace, spotting all of the carts and stand of the ponies.
"stand" should be plural ("stands")
"Hello Twilight. Hello Spike.
Itsrare to see the both of you here together,""Hello Junebug,
itsnice to see you too,""I can't! I am using a suppression spell to keep the Changelings from shape shifting and
itsalso affecting me!"use Apostrophe-S when you are combining "it" + "is" = "it's"
"I have no idea how you find us, Twilight Sparkle.
consistent past-tense when telling a story.("found")
"We can't Spike, we don't know how many Changelings are in Ponyville.
comma before "Spike" (because a person's name is always a parenthetical element)
semicolon between "Spike" and "we" (because "we" is a subject and thus a new independent clause is started. when a comma can be replaced with a period, use a semicolon.)
She made it a point to study up on the Changelings, in case they would ever have to do battle again.
"up on" and "do" are informal and superfluous.
***Correcting an author's mistakes is one thing, but teaching them why they're made is another. An author should not rely solely on his/her editor(s) to correct such mistakes.
English is my 3rd language - my first and second are Cantonese and Mandarin. If I can do it, so can you.
I'm not deliberately trying to be critical, but I'm sorry to say that these mistakes heavily distract me from the reading (especially this chapter)
*jaw drop* HOLY HERO 108 REFRENCE!!
Why's the Dovahkiin wearing leather armor and an iron helm if he's wielding a glass axe?
Phoniex requires his voice to win. Swords and other weapons are overrated anyways
4679594 You know in Skyrim it's a lot more important to be armed to the teeth then to make sure your weapons match your clothes
That and it could have been a rare find when he began his journey and plus what weapon would go with the leather armor that's stronger than a glass axe
SWEETIE HAS BATTLE GEAR?
INSTANT LIKE!
The whole cutting off the changling horns seemed very cruel. They are basically beating their limbs off.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/185/3/a/_requested_armored_sweetie_belle__by_purezparity-d6c0ibq.png 5072381 enjoy
Man oh man, this is fantastic!
Frigging epic sauce!
What a fight!
Sweetie has battle gear? that is awesome!
Awesome job!
Good work on this man, twas epic!
2664230 i think you mean super sandwich
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So basically he is like the doctor but a human and ex-lawyer. Also, never make Phoenix Wright angry because im pretty sure how he just sent super sayian for a moment.
The only better thing would be if twilight had someone like laharl or luffy.
TASTE THE INVESTIGATION POWER YOU SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need to make sure that Phoenix stays in the back lines so he can Break the Witness. Wait... DON'T TELL ME HIS ASSIST IS PAPERWORK (HIGH)!
And as of now just twilight did not get a human ship... I guess this one will be the doctor but...
2597404 marvile vs capcom 3
phoenix..... why?
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My man wrote a 17 page essay about minor grammatical errors on a my little pony fanfiction site... now that's free time.