Wars
Chapter 8- Wars
"Alright, alright! Lets just stop this right now!" Phoenix said, used to taking the role of the mediator. He was standing up, each one of his arms stretched out. The Dovahkiin had his Blade out, holding it with both hands as he snarled at Soma. The silvered hair teen in turn, had a look of defiance as he wielded his Death Scythe weapon with both hands. Dan had the glass axe, grasping it over his head, ready to swing down at Nate. Nate in turn, held a pistol pointed at Dan.
"We are not going anywhere like this! Lets just sit down, and go over what we know, OK? We are the only humans here. If we don't stand together now- Anyone can take us out," Phoenix said, lowering his loud voice.
"Fine, but we are only delaying it," Dan said, his left eye twitching.
"He's right. But we are going to settle this, one way or another!" Dovahkiin said, taking a step back and sit down on a couch.
"I stand by my answer," Soma said. The weapon vanished as he took a seat as well. By this point, they all sat down to look over at Nate. The brown haired fellow holstered his weapon and then moved to take out the journal.
"Nate, you have the floor," Phoenix said as he moved to sit as well. He reached out to grab a glass of water and drink. He felt like he had sweated bullets.
"Alright. We already know the rules I got. Thanks to Dan and Phoenix, we learned a few more things. I am just going to read down the list now." Nate took his pencil to slide it behind his left ear and leaned forward to begin reading out loud.
"10. Only guards or retired fellows from service posses weapons. Normal pony citizens are forbidden from carrying them. Tools like shovels and picks are still valid to own, so they could be makeshift weapons.
11. Bits is the form of currency. At least in Equestria.
12. There are three types of jobs.
A. Vendors like farmers sell their wares. Rarity and Applejack fit here.
B. Servicer workers, which means those that sell their time to get paid. Pinkie works at Sugarcube Corners and party planner. Fluttershy is a type of caretaker, so he gets paid in the same manner.
C. People like Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash are paid by the government from a budget set aside for needed work. They work at the library and the weather control. So, if we need money, we gotta find a way to get a job in these categories.”
Nate stopped talking, lifting his head to look at the others. So far, the anger the room displayed was gone. Even Nate had to wonder what he could do for Bits if they could not leave. Moving on...
“13. Ponies seemed to be in a "fall in order" mentality. All just accept the rule they are under and never question authority.
14. The greatest enemies the ponies ever faced are Discord, Changelings, and Nightmare Moon. But they seem to deal with a lot of weather problems. They are weak at fighting, but not when they band together. Potential liability in a fight. Twilight seems to be one saving the day, but she never does it alone.
15. Technology is screwy. It could be because we are in a rural town, its not apparent. They posses trains, but no cars. They posses DJs, but no cell phones. Their own form of communication is letters. At least they posses the standards like carpentry, metal smithing, etc.
16. Ponies seem to posses an aging curve that is strange. We could offend any pony between filly and old age because they do not seem to posses middle aged, young adult, or silver age status, that is easy to tell.
17. Ponies posses names that lead to a clue to their personality/ life purpose/ cutie mark. If we pay attention to their names, we may get a clue on how to handle ponies if we need to talk to them."
Nate stopped there, releasing a sigh. And this is where things ended peacefully at least. He turned to look to Dovahkiin and let him take over.
"Alright. Assessment of our powers. Soma can battle with weapons and a type of magic called "Souls." He is at least High class. Dan and Nate are powerless when it comes to magic. Dan posses tactics and combat in the form of "Dance Fighting" and usages of explosives and axes. He is at least Mid class. Nate can fight in a form called "fisticuffs," which means unarmed. He is also trained in the use of "firearms" or projectile weaponry. Also Mid class. I am Elite class, using magic, weapons, and powers it seems I am the only to posses. And we all saw what Phoenix can do. He’s Low level, unless he can achieve "Turnabout," Placing him in High class," Dovahkiin said, reading out of a parchment he found in the building and had used for notes.
The others nodded, saying nothing. Clearly, Dovahkiin was the best warrior out of them. But the best leader would be Phoenix or Dan. Both were intelligent enough to plan out attacks, and also been here the longest. Though no votes were done yet, not even knowing if a leader would be needed.
"We split up weapons and tools as needed. Soma passed his "Silver Handgun" to Nate. Dan posses my Glass axe, which is flawless quality. Phoenix declined any weapons," The dragonborn said. Each human looked at the weapons they possessed, save Phoenix, who looked uneasily at the weapons the others. "I have my own weapon stock, as does Soma. If we are going to fight- We must find or make better weapons and armor. I can do that, but I need materials."
Phoenix released a sigh, turning to look at the others. This is when all hell broke loose. "And then we had to pick a pony to learn about more..."
"Applejack is clearly the best choice to befriend," Dovahkiin said.
"Fluttershy lives close to Everfree. We need to protect her in case the Changelings come back!" Soma said as he moved to sit straight.
"I dunno, Rarity seems to be rich. Her contacts and clients could be a good information source," Nate said with a rub of his chin.
"Pinkie Pie is clearly the best pony!" Dan shouted, no longer able to hold it in.
"Fluttershy is cuter and is hardly the fighter the others are!" Soma shouted, turning to look at Dan.
"Applejack and her family provide a stable food source. Also, the lass is adorable with her hat," Dovahkiin added, crossing his arms on his chest.
"Umm, no one wants to know my opinion about Rainbow Dash right?" Phoenix said. "She is clearly our best choice as a scout and a courier for letters...."
"Pinkie Pie is cute and a great cook!" Dan said, moving his eyes left and right to look at the others.
"Oh come off it! Rarity has class and she can provide us with clothes!" Nate said, looking at the torn suit of Phoenix.
"Applejack is clearly the best pony." Dovahkiin said, getting an edge in his voice.
"Look, I stayed quiet before but, we need Rainbow Dash. Out of all the other mares, she is the one that visits the others the most. Twilight is tucked away in a library, Applejack focused on work, Fluttershy is too shy to seek out others too much. Rarity only visits others when its job related or a way to unwind. And Pinkie... Well, she seems more sociable than the others, but limited in her usefulness," Phoenix said, trying to help the others.
"Fluttershy is cuter than the others..." Soma said, moving back to sit back.
"Cute is good compared to beauty? Rarity beats that," Nate said as he rolled his eyes.
"Applejack possess strength and a lovely hair," Dovahkiin said. No way he was going to think otherwise.
"Are we really having a conversation about who is the cutest pony?" Asked Phoenix.
"Applejack!"
"Fluttershy!"
"Rarity!"
"Pinkie Pie!"
Phoenix immediately shut both of his eyes and moved a hand to pinch the spot between them. Amazing how they all said that at once. "Lets skip this and go over to battle tactics. I want to hear the tactics Dan has in store for tonight. Also, I want to practice the team moves I brought up. And Rainbow Dash is still my choice."
Dovahkiin was getting tired of this. He decided to just make time speed forward to evening.
"Hey guys! The party's ready!" Pinkie Pie said, peeking her head through the doorway. The others said nothing, as if time flowed normally for them.
The Dovahkiin smirked and simply moved to change himself into his Nightingale armor. If it was going to be a party, may as well dress flashy.
_________________________________________
The sun was no longer in view over the sky, but the orange hue filled the sky. The normal colors of Ponyville had changed a tiny bit, though still vibrant with life. Paper lanterns and a few torches had been set up near city hall to grant shadows here and there. But, while the day was ending, the noises had not.
Chattering ponies, dishes and furniture moved about, and some laughter as kids were playing and running about. The sound of music was played from the single station provided by DJ Pon-3. As the humans stepped out into view, a loud cheer was sent up in the air. Pinkie Pie had went ahead to start throwing confetti over the shoulder of each one as they passed.
Dan was the only one to bother to shake it off himself.
"Come on guys, a special bench was made for you," Pinkie said with a smile. While the other ponies had wooden tables for them to gather around, the humans needed one with seats to accommodate them. Phoenix, Nate, and Dan sat on one end. Dan and the Dovahkiin sat on the left side. Once they had been seated, Pinkie moved to join Dan and stand next to him. One by one, Fluttershy moved to sit next to Soma, Rainbow with Phoenix, and so forth.
"Mares, Gentlecolts, and young ones- Welcome to the Thank-You Feast for our heroes, Human and Pony alike. Before we can start eating, lets introduce the humans out," The Mayor said with a smile. She stepped down and let the first speaker up. Princess Celestia was nowhere to be seen, but Princess Luna was sitting on the ground down at the table in the back to watch the proceedings. Twilight moved to the podium, using her magic to hold some cue cards.
"First, Mr. Dovahkiin. He's the shiny one... I think. I can't see his face," Twilight admitted, lowering her head to earn a few chuckles. "He's a warrior, but no need to be afraid. He posses a gentle demeanor and an educated background which could rival mine." The dragonborn raised his left hand to wave to all.
"We all know Dan, but few know his last name is Mandel. Although he's a bit abrasive-" Twilight started to say.
"I will have you know I am educated and-" Pinkie Pie moved a cupcake into Dan's mouth to make him stop.
"He's a good guy once you get to know him. He posses deep insight, and he's usually right about things. He may do things his way, but he means well," Twilight said as she shuffled her cards uncomfortably. Dan merely chewed on his cupcake, deciding to spare Twilight. For now.
"Mr. Wright is the first human lawyer in Equestria. A few may have remembered him when he was walking around town and managed to rescue our own Rainbow Dash." Phoenix moved his own right hand up to wave. Rainbow Dash then raised both her hooves up to holler for him. "Since we last saw him, he's gotten better and is also a father," Twilight ended for the moment. A few mares raised their eyebrows, wondering what a human child looked like.
"Mr. Nathan Drake is new to us. He was the first human to come to my rescue, and I owe him my personal thanks. And Rarity as well," Twilight said to smile at the two. Rarity bowed her head graciously, taking Nate a second to look at Rarity and then repeating her motion. Do as the Romans do, after all. "We do not know much about him, but Rarity assured me that a newspaper article will appear for him." This made Nate pick up his head, turning to look at Rarity again. She merely had both eyes closed.
"Lastly, we have Mr. Soma Cruz. He's younger compared to the others, and is currently a student in college," Twilight said, turning to look at the young man. Soma nodded in return. While most residents of Ponyville attended school, few attended college and were impressed. "He's a fighter like the others, so do not let his age fool you." Fluttershy smile and chuckled, seeing Soma blush. He was not used to public attention. From normal people at least.
"Also, the ponies that had been infected by the Changelings are all better now! They also wish to express their thanks to our heroes. Now then, I know we are all hungry. Dig in Everypony!" Twilight said, moving to step down from the podium.
"That was a nice introduction," Dovahkiin said. Having attended the Bard's college, he had heard a few more lavish ones. But that was nice, simple, and direct.
"Ya are lucky. Twi's usually makes her speeches over 100 cue cards long," Applejack said. She smiled and then took the chance to inspect the armor. It was really bright, and the color was down to earth even though it looked fru fru. She wished she had gotten back home to wear her Gala dress. At least they could have looked like a real knight and her lady.
"Did you get everything ready Pinkie Pie?" Dan asked, glad the attention was no longer on them. The cupcake was ok, but he prefered cookies from Ninja Dan. He turned to look at the other ponies, he appeared to have stand in line to get their food from serving tables.
"Oh yeah! I am just waiting for them to set up a grill," Pinkie Pie said. "I hope you will like it! I practiced a lot!"
"Oh, Mr. Cruz?" Fluttershy said, feeling self conscious about using his last name.
"You can call me Soma. I'd like that," The young man said, smiling at Fluttershy. With him seated, he could face her at eye level.
"Oh, Ok Soma. We are aware that humans can't eat all the things we can. So we made sure we set up a table just for food you and the other humans should be able to eat," She said, hiding her face behind her mane a bit. She didn't want to embarass by offering them a daisy sandwich.
"Really? I am glad to hear that! I did not want to just eat muffins all the time. I need fiber and all, but its hard to work off those pounds," Nate started to say with a joking smile. He patted his flat stomach to add emphasis.
"Oh hush now dear. I bet if we lifted your clothes, there would be nothing but muscles there," Rarity said, opening her eyes again.
"Oh? Has someone been imaging what I look like naked?" Nate said, lifting an eyebrow at Rarity. Caught off guard, she lowered her head and blushed. Needless to say, the other people gathered at the table laughed.
"OK, lets get you some grub!" Applejack said, moving to lead them to the special table. "We managed to get all the things Twilight had on her list!" The orange mare said with a proud smile. Eager for food, The humans all stood up to walk over to the spread. They all had smiles on their face, wondering what was in store.
The table was a smaller one compared to the others, but it had a lot of variety. Celery stalks, corn, wheat, oats, carrots, apples, oranges, grapes, melons, more apples, tomatoes, leafy cabbages, onions, sunflowers, and not the seeds, but the large sunpetal flower kind... Basically, lots of vegetation and fruits, dried fruits, jams, jelly and some loaves of bread. The Dovahkiin was ecstatic. He could make all sort of recipes with this. The others....
The others quickly lost their smiles.
"To drink, we got punch, tea, and water! Dig in!" Applejack said.
Soma moved his eyes through the food, trying to spot something he could stomach. Dammit all! At least the monsters he fought offered hams, turkey legs, curry, ramen, tasty meat and the like. He closed both eyes and forced to smile at the food provided. Maybe if he used the Ghoul soul, he could stomach these things. The Ghoul soul allowed Soma to eat poisonous items like spoiled milk and rotten meat with no problem.
"Aww, you guys... Shouldn't have," Nate said, turning to look at Rarity. He tried his best not to show disappointment. He was more of a steak and potatoes kind of guy. Where were the potatoes anyway? Wait, horses didn't like potatoes too much.
"You... You don't like it, do you?" Applejack asked, suddenly realizing what was going on.
"See! I told you we should have cooked these things! I thought humans prefered cooked food," Rainbow Dash said. She lifted herself up to fly over to look at the food. "Hey, a grill is being set up. We can make vegetable shish kabobs! So cheer up!"
"No no! This looks great! Look at Dovahkiin go!" Phoenix said. He promised himself, that if he ever got to see Maya again, he vowed never to make fun of her for her cheeseburger loving diet.
Dan suddenly moved his left hand to his nose. The other humans picked up their head, turning to look at the signal. That meant a fight!
"Look out! A Changeling!" Dan said, jumping out in front of the group. Acting a bit with flair, he raised his hand out to point beyond the table of food. "See?!" He said. A pair of green orbs could be seen behind a bush.
"He's right! Humans, Assemble!" Yelled out Phoenix. He drew his left hand out to point out at the others. "Soma! Set up a barricade so I can find evidence!"
"Spicy curry!" Soma immediately yelled. The teen threw a rather large dish of curry that landed on the table of vegetables. Immediately, hot flames begun to spew forth and cook the vegetables. The roasted aroma filled the nostrils of the ponies gathered. Phoenix though, was busy looking for evidence. Aha! A plunger! Wait... that was not evidence.
"Dovahkiin! Nate! Set up some cover fire!" Dan yelled out as he got his axe ready. The Dovahkiin had to get away from the table, not being able to handle the curry that released flames. Still, he drew his bow out and nocked an arrow. Nate drew his new pistol out, and begun to take pot shots at the eyes.
By this point, the other ponies looked away from the food and stared at commotion being caused by Dan and the others. Princess Luna immediately flew forward to land next to Twilight. Both of them prepared to blast magic from their horns.
"Alright girls! We can't let them fight alone! Rarity, you-" Applejack suddenly found herself cut off as Dan moved his axe in front of them.
"No! You girls cover the back! We have no idea if they are surrounding us!" Dan said, trying to look serious. The other Elements quickly turned around, making the others look as well.
"Dan's right! We should let them handle this side, and we should get the other!" Pinkie Pie said, winking at the smaller human. He winked back.
"Alright Everypony! I am going to unleash my special attack! DJ Pon-3! How about a beat!" Dan said, lifting his free hand to point at the air.
"Alright! Let's spin these beats!" Vinyl Scratch said. She changed the current record and replaced it with Daft Punk's Derezzed.
"Shimmy shimmy shimmy shimmy," Dan said, moving his shoulders back and forth as he got into the groove. He jumped jumped forward and proceeded to dance fight the hell out of those vegetables! Those fruits and grains could not stand up to the graceful and elegant maneuvers of Dan's feet. As the Spicy Curry relaxed the flames, the faster beat made Dan go faster.
Was there no mercy for the poor healthy food offered?
The residents of Ponyville watched in horror as Dan devastated the table holding the food as well. The Dovahkiin was impressed. He had no idea a human could tear, rip, and destroy wood and food like that with bare hands and feet. Phoenix had to bend over and heave at the senseless slaughter. Princess Luna had to look away, this was the things worse than the nightmares she saw as Nightmare Moon.
When the music stopped, Dan stood over his defeated foe, eyes narrowed and fists shaking. "Oops! That was supposed to be a Changeling," Dan spoke, his voice harsh and raspy. His chest moved up and down to catch his breath.
"Oh look... those eyes were just a lantern!" Pinkie Pie said, moving to peek into the bush. She pulled out a lantern that had green cover with multiple holes. The Dovahkiin suddenly regretted skipping time forward. Never do that when Dan was around. It was very, very quiet as everyone stared at Dan covered in stains of multiple colors.
When the ponies realized that it had all been a mistake, they gave a sigh of relief or moved back to eat. After all, it had not been their food destroyed. Soma and Phoenix smiled, moving to stand up. They had been spared from eating healthy.
"Will the pony that left the large tubs of Jelly please move them? They are blocking an exit," The Mayor said. She was trying to get her nerves to calm down. "Also, the grill is ready."
"My tubs!" A voice cried out, followed by the sound of a single pony trotting off.
"Umm... If you guys didn't want to eat the food provided, you could have just-" Dan immediately turned his head to look at Fluttershy and silence her with a glance.
"Shimmy shimmy shimmy," Dan begun again.
"I'll be good!" Fluttershy said, moving to duck behind Soma. Vinyl vowed, never, never ever play music for Dan again.
"What are we going to do for food then?" Nate asked, looking down at the remains. Even he would have taking some grilled corn over a fire.
"Oh hey! I am ready done setting up!" Pinkie Pie said. She had moved to place an apron on her. It read "Smile for the Cook!" The Element of Laughter placed a large pan on the fire and begun to cook.
"I hesitate to ask, but what are you making?" Rarity asked.
"Flapjacks!" Pinkie Pie said, flipping the pan to spin the batter over once.
"Pancakes?!" Nate said, lifting his head to look over at Pinkie. Those were always good!
"No, Flapjacks. Pancakes are for mornings," Phoenix said. He grinned, glad that Dan had a backup.
"We're saved," Soma said, already moving to look for a knife and fork. Please Dark Lord Dracula, let them have butter here too....
"Everyone loves flapjacks, especially with maple honey," Dan said, walking over to Pinkie Pie. "Thanks Pinkie Pie," Dan added, putting his axe away.
"Anything for you honey," Pinkie said. She placed the cooked flapjack on a plate and gave it to Dan, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He took the plate with thanks, sheepishly lowering his head for the kiss.
Author's note: Had ya going there, didn't I? Here's a link that made that little chapter possible.
Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura.
Stats
Page generated in 0.036 seconds
Total duration
1,095 users online
2,090,202 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh god man. You had me laughing for 3/4's of the chapter. Good job man. Also I love how the have all turned into Bronies. Very nice.
980575 yes he managed to turn Dan, soma, Nathan drake, the dragon born and the most badass of all phoenix wright into bronys
... and now... i must watch dan vs ._.
so much awesomeness......i can't take it!
wait...
but you said he didn't had his gun.
1976657
yes you are, don't worry Phoenix, its only natural
god this is a fun read
and quite large it seems 
i´m so glad for vacation time coming soon, since i want to plow trough this 
1977677 yeah i was also take back for the gun in Nate Hands, then i read about it, good style
It was as if I was reading what would happen if you locked 5 bronies in a room and asked the who best pony is if not for Phoenix that room would have turn bloody fast
Shimmy shimmy shimmy
shimmy shimmy shimmy BICHES
Did they all just have a brony fight on who is the best pony?
So freaking hilarious.
I love Technaro's Fanart of Pinkie and Dan but My favorite is still this.
technaro.deviantart.com/art/There-there-crybaby-315257898
The destruction… The slaughter… The defilement of all those wonderful veggies and bread! The horror! Those FIENDS!
Letsjust sit down, and go over what we know, OK?Letsskip this and go over to battle tactics.I need fiber and all, but
itshard to work off those pounds,Apostrophe-S: "Let" + "us" = "Let's"
"It" + "is" = "It's"
Phoenix said as he moved to sit as well. He reached out to grab a glass of water and drink.
Right now "drink" is acting as a noun that Phoenix also "took". Are you trying to say that he ingested the water in the same sentence? If so, this works better: "reached out to grab a glass a water and took a sip."
Fluttershy is a type of caretaker, so he gets paid in the same manner.
a typo here
Their own form of communication is letters.
I believe you meant "only"
Phoenix, Nate, and Dan sat on one end. Dan and the Dovahkiin sat on the left side.
contradiction here
Once they had been seated, Pinkie moved to join Dan and stand next to him.
narratives must be consistent past-tense: stood
Before we can start eating, lets introduce the humans out,
"out" is informal and superfluous - it serves no purpose in describing the subject nor the verb. You're also missing an apostrophe in "lets"
"Did you get everything ready Pinkie Pie?" Dan asked
use comma to seperate parenthetical elements, in this case, before the addressed pony's name (Pinkie).
He turned to look at the other ponies, he appeared to have stand in line to get their food from serving tables.
this is a run-on - two independent clauses without a coordinating conjunction (for/and/nor/but/or/yet/so). "stand" should be past tense - do you mean "they appeared to have stood in line.."?
***These mistakes shouldn't be happening and can be easily fixed. I believe your proofreader LyonAzakura could learn a few things.
the Dan has been doubled
Nightingale armor is black and is sometimes called 'shadow warrior' armor by players. Madgod deands this be fixed!
I believe that you forgot about Dan's lactose intolerance.
Youtube comments. *Ding!*
Jesus XD Shimmy shimmy shimmy XD
I love it!
THEY HAD THE TALK XD Who is best pony...good lord XD jUST...
Someone hold me while I laugh xD
Nice job!
If I ever meet the Dovahkiin, I'm pulling out my checkbook and buying all the mead he can drink.
The 1 topic that men everywhere can get behind: Women.
This is supposed to be a jokeplease don't hurt me