• Published 17th Jul 2012
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Humans Assemble! - Mistershield



When Equestria is in need of Heroes, only the Avengers will do. But they are stuck with this group. Now with a mini character guide.

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Dark Agenda

Chapter 83- Dark Agenda



“Ah, Gilgamesh. You finished your morning exercises?”

“Hm?” Gilgamesh turned his head to look over at the voice. There changelings all looked alike to him, even the generals. It was just so hard. Only the King and Queen stood out for their size, Imago with his aged body, and Sphragis with his muscle bulk. “Yes. Why?”

“Lex Luthor is calling to a meeting.” Bartz replied. That’s what he was going to call this one.

“Your name is Bartz now. Where are they?”

“B-artz?” The changeling asked, tilting his head to the side. Lately, all of the human champions had been passing out names. Bartz... Bartz Bartz. The changeling didn’t know why, but it thought it sounded like the name of a stupid protagonist. “They are by the benches.”

“Sphragis, take over,” Gilgamesh nodded to his fellow general. The warrior changeling nodded in response, letting the weapon collector head back inside the cave. After walking for a bit, he found the others gathered at one of the benches. Luthor sat at the head of a bench, donning his repaired mech suit. At his right, Wesker, to his left, Kefka. Master Xehanort sat next to Wesker and across from the clown. Vegeta was standing behind close, leaning his back against a support pillar. Amazingly, Kefka was sitting straight and paying attention for once. This really made the others uncomfortable...

“What?” Kefka asked, turning to look at Wesker.

“Forgive me, but you are not even using magic to float like you usually do. So...” Wesker shrugged.

“Oh, that. Can’t distract you now when we are about to talk about something important.” Kefka idly raised his left hand to wave it side to side.

“So, what we’ve been doing all this time is not important to you?” Vegeta asked, both arms crossed on his chest. He looked... Not as annoyed or angry. Gilgamesh narrowed his eyes a bit. Yes, Vegeta’s shoulders were relaxed. It was hard to tell things sometimes unless you knew what to look for. Gilgamesh walked over to sit next to Kefka. He was no coward.

“Listen, Luthor bought some time alone. Let’s not waste it,” Kefka replied, moving a gloved hand to rub his eyes. All heads turned to look at Luthor.

“Very well then. Three things on the agenda. Until a new leader is picked, allow me to get my three points across.” Luthor had both elbows on the bench top, hands crossed on each other. “But first. Xehanort, Sombra is not in our heads?”

“Not that I can tell, but I do believe he will keep his word,” Xehanort moved both hands to rest on the edge of the table.

“Good. First on the agenda then. The wargames. We need, maybe... Five events?” Luthor turned his head to look at Wesker. The man in black was probably the only one to actually witness wargames other than Luthor, having gone through police training and all.

“Yes. They may pick their best for each scenario. We must pick events that will not only catch them off guard, but also pick suitable opponents for the wargames they pick.” Wesker moved a hand up to his sunglasses. “It’s not important to win, but I do not like-” He stopped there to take off the lenses and reveal his red eyes. “Losing.”

“I imagine none of us do,” Luthor nodded once. “Suggestions then? We need to give them to the Queen so she has something to give them at noon.”

“I Imagine we all know who gets the one-on-one combat,” Vegeta smirked, eyes closed.

“Gilgamesh.”

“The big guy.”

“Myself.”

“Mr. Red.”

“The guy that has a man crush on Smith.”

Vegeta was pissed to say the least, eyes snapping open in rage. He stopped though, turning to look at Wesker with a raised eyebrow. So had the others, in fact. Gilgamesh sputtered a bit, thankful his burning cheeks was hidden behind his scarf.

“First, it’s obvious I’m the best fighter here!” Vegeta raised his left hand to count down his points. “Two, why Gilgamesh? Three- The hell’s a man crush?”

“Well, skipping the man crush explanation,” Wesker turning to look at Vegeta. “Arguably, you are our best...” Wesker had to put his sunglasses back on and swallow his pride. “In overall strength, battle history, and power. When we went over our backgrounds, you’ve been fighting since your youth. But Gilgamesh has more than likely been battling more than any of us.”

“I agree with Wesker. But you do have a crippling weakness to magic,” Xehanort added. “We can’t have then to learn your weakness. We do know the other side has at least two magic users thanks to Otacon’s notes- not to mention they are both fighters.”

“I want to save you, Vegeta, if we need to contend with the god-like ‘Blue Ape.’” Luthor was taking down notes. His mech suit was also recording things.

“Oh, Princey, don’t be mad!” Kefka grinned, getting back into a jovial mood for a second. “I bet you are suited for an even better event!”

“I...” Vegeta lowered his arm a second, taking note of what they each said. They all acknowledged his power, true. But they did have a point about magic users. Since this was a wargame that would have rules, the magic users would have a shield or barrier to protect them before he could launch an attack to kill them. And these games did have a no-kill rule. “I see.”

“I would not send an old man to fight in my stead,” Gilgamesh called out. “And we already knew Kefka has little physical attacks or weapons. That leaves myself as the most suited for combat.” He took a moment to look at Xehanort and Kefka. “I’m not apologizing.”

“No, no,” Xehanort shook his head to the side. “You are likely my equal, and Kefka is indeed ill suited for hand-to-hand combat.”

“I don’t care,” Kefka huffed a second, turning his head from them all.

“Fine fine. That’s one down,” Vegeta relaxed again, this time moving to the table to join them all and sit across from Luthor. “What else then?”

“I would like to continue, but no more outbursts?” Luthor asked, lifting his eyebrows. He didn’t want to bother with these prima donnas like he did in the Injustice League. “In a two-on-two match, I suggest Gilgamesh and Xehanort.”

“I-”

“A moment,” Luthor moved his right hand to cut off Xehanort. “You already admitted your magic and fighting prowess. And your keyblade is not just for show. This is not even a true event, only a backup in case the other side picks it.” Xehanort took a second to think, but then nodded. The others did as well, as the two had a big and little guy thing going. Both had fighting and magic, so they would not be covering each other’s weaknesses.

“I suggest then, a skill event,” Wesker moved his hand away from his glasses. “Maybe Target practice?”

“Good choice. I nominate you with your gun, and if it’s magic, me.” Kefka raised his right hand up to smile.

“Just want to stay out of combat?” Wesker asked.

“No, I know they have that pretty boy archer. It would be a waste not to have a target event for his skills....” Kefka then narrowed his eyes. His raised hand slowly formed a fist. “And I owe him one.”

“Fair enough...” Luthor begun to write these things down. “That’s two events, with one contingency plan. I’m assuming we can’t repeat events, so we need three more. Also, keep in mind that these are wargames. They will likely only let us compete in only one event. These events may have rules to handicap us, like no armor.”

“Don’t spoil my fantasies, Luthor.” Kefka pouted.

“Hmm...” Xehanort took a moment to think. “I’m assuming we are having a battle of wits?”

“I nominate myself for that, but I say no to chess.”

“Too easy?” Xehanort smirked.

“Too time consuming and I have no idea if they even have that here.” Luthor picked up his head from his notes. “I’m thinking a riddle game.”

“Ah, a classic! I love showdowns,” Kefka clapped, a big grin on his face once more. “Now I wish I waited.”

“Yes. If they have a rule like no mech suits,” Wesker turned to look at Luthor’s battle gear. “You won’t do anyone good. May as well let you have that one, Mr. Businessman.”

“Let’s not get into petty insults,” Gilgamesh nodded. “Three down. Skill, Might, and Wits. Two events each side, one tiebreaker. What else is there?”

“A team match may be in order,” Vegeta called out. When everyone turned to look at him, he shrugged. “What? We must also think like the enemy, there is safety in numbers- Just not from me. If we can take their safety events, we can catch them off guard. It may also be the tiebreaker if we can only compete one event each.”

“That’s a surprisingly good observation, Vegeta. We should not underestimate your battle experience,” Gilgamesh nodded. “Do you have something in mind?”

“It should be simple. We don’t exactly have team work on our side, while they have been here longer than we have,” Vegeta stopped a moment, a large grin forming on his face. A wicked idea popped into his head. “Tug of war.”

“I like it! No, I love it!” Kefka shouted, grinning madly now. “They don’t stand a chance against Gilgamesh and Vegeta! It will do good to see them in the mud, on their knees.”

“Keep it down, Kefka. But I like this idea,” Luthor went back to writing.

“I like this as well...” Wesker smiled now. “It will be good to see them on their knees, bowing to their betters.” He stopped there, suddenly realizing he was smiling. “Not that I’m saying we should lose and make a tie on purpose.”

“Of course, but I do like this team event. No team work needed, and it would nice to see them struggle like worms,” Vegeta smiled, pleased with himself.

“That’s four. One more then,” Luthor turned to look at Gilgamesh. “You have an event in mind?”

“Well...” Gigamesh crossed his arms on his chest. Now all eyes on him, and he couldn’t leave his team without suggestions. Not if he wanted to save Roger. “We lack a creative event.”

“Creative?” Kefka raised an eyebrow. “These are wargames, big guy!”

“No, no... Do go on, Gilgamesh,” Xehanort turned to at the weapon collector. “It was his idea to corral all the ponies. I want to see what he has in mind.”

“We have Wits, Might, Skill, Team work. We have events that we can break them in all, regards save spirit.”

“Ah, I see now. Morale is important, even in wargames...” Wesker nodded. They all turned to look at the chagelings. “I think its also fair to make them earn it.”

“Yes. It does seem unfair for us to do all the work,” Vegeta added. “So, a cheerleading event?”

“Something like that. Maybe a prayer, or a blessing as well,” Gilgamesh shrugged. “The other humans go into battle thinking they are in the right.”

“Ah, this also makes sense,” Xehanort added. “So if we can show them we are not the true enemy, or that we are not monsters-”

“We can also rattle their resolve,” Luthor finished. “Good point, Gilgamesh. We may be fighting for the right to live, but so are they.”

“I don’t like the blessing part so much,” Kefka frowned. “But at least we got our five events.”

Vegeta turned to look over at Gilgamesh, eyes closed a little. True, he was beneath a saiyan, but this weapon collector was more than just a mindless warrior.

Though, was he ‘gay’ for Roger Smith?

“Good. We have a game plan then,” Luthor rolled up the scroll. “Sombra can read our writing, so he can present our wargames with Chrysalis.” He then called over Bartz to take the scroll over to Sombra.

Vegeta walked over to his fridge, getting a drink of Team For Star soda. Debating it a moment, though thinking it was beneath him, he got drinks for the others as well. While it was his food and drink, he couldn't stand them asking him for drinks later. The prince also wanted to save time. Them all getting their own drinks may take a while. Least this way he could also get them not to touch his Hetap.

Oh they would be in so much trouble if they touch his Hetap...

“Thank you, Vegeta. You have been most generous with your gift,” Gilgamesh nodded as the saiyan returned. The others nodded in thanks to the prince.

“I’ll kill you all if you touch my Hetap.”

“Actually, this brings me to the second point in the agenda” Luthor moved to sit back down. The hell were Team Four Star? And why did they have their own drinks?

“You were bothered by this as well?” Xehanort added. The old man sniffed the soda once, but then nodded and took a sip. Not bad. Not bad at all. Tasted like souls...

“BBBBBBUUUUURRRRPPP!” Gilgamesh had chugged his all down at once and released a mighty roar.

“Gross! But good one Gilgy.” Kefka nodded.

“Disgusting,” Luthor frowned but took a sip as well. Been a while since he indulged in a drink of the masses. “But how did they know where we are? And who sent it? And how do they know so much about us? Sombra admitted it was not his doing...”

“Now that you mention it, that did bother me,” Xehanort nodded, drink in hand. “And why there wasn’t a gift for Gilgamesh or myself?”

“Indeed. How did they know I needed my serum?” Wesker leaned forward, resting both arms on the table and grasp his drink with each hand.

“Well, I have three possibilities in mind,” Luthor added. He took a moment to look around at the faces of his fellow Darkbrands. “First, this Princess Celestia is trying to appease to us for mercy, giving us gifts. They know magic, so it’s not hard to imagine they would do this to make us go easy on them... Or even join their side.”

“Not outside the realm of possibility,” Xehanort moved a hand to stroke his goatee. “But why not for us two?”

“Well, Gilgamesh was only seen when he was sent to retrieve Roger Smith. Maybe they didn’t have time to get his info. And-” Luthor shrugged.

“You did turn her subjects into dark minions...” Gilgamesh finished for Luthor.

“Indeed. Even I only broke bones,” Wesker said. “And Luthor went only after the buildings.”

“Bah,” Vegeta smirked. “I doubt it’s this possible. Magic can't do all this,” Vegeta pointed at his fridge.

“Which brings me to my second point. They may be trying to cause dissention between us.” Luthor raised a hand to Wesker. “Like Wesker said, they reward us on purpose, trying to make the others get angry with us. We may then try to fight each other.”

“And like Luthor commented,” Wesker added. “This may be an attempt to mess with our minds. They may try to confuse us with questions of who,what, and why.”

“This guess sounds more like it to me,” Kefka added, “or made the more sense.” His mind went back to his juggling balls. “But you mentioned a third?”

“This is a double, if not even, a triple cross.” Luthor finished his drink, leaving the can aside. Each hand moved to cross fingers with each other and hide his face behind them.

“Now, you have my interest,” Kefka added. He smiled, mimicking Luthor’s pose. “These gifts may be from one of the humans, trying to leave the other group and join our side.”

“Why do you think this?” Gilgamesh mused. “I noticed they do not posses Darkbrands such as ourselves.”

“Because we all thought about doing the same,” Kefka chuckled. “And don’t deny it. The ponies seem to posses the upper hand, and it may be just easier to join their side. But their side knows we are probably stronger than theirs.” Kefka turned to point at Luthor’s notes. “For a while now, we know the changelings almost always never had the upper hand for long.”

“And it could be a triple cross, because they may be using this tactic on purpose,” Xehanort spoke in a low voice. “The may not like how they have physically captured Roger Smith as a hostage, something our side has never done. True, we stole the Crystal Heart, but it was for food, to sue for peace, and it was not a human.”

“I admit, that did bother me,” Gilgamesh mused out loud. “I imagine the humans on their side are not comfortable with that act.”

“And it could even be a combination of all my theories. Now then. What do we do with this info?” Luthor once more looked around the table. They all stayed quiet a second, thinking about things.

“In all honestly, I wouldn’t take hostages, just kill them. Hostages are for the weak,” Vegeta added. “But if it’s anything like the courts of how my father dealt with the likes of Frieza- This won’t be the last gift.”

“I agree,” Kefka added. “I say we wait. Usually, spies and infiltrators will leave a gift and then show their true intentions later. If it is a ploy to join a side or not, we will mostly hear an offer tonight, before the wargames.”

“Hmm... Tonight would be their only chance before the wargames. I doubt we would be able to on that day,” Wesker turned to look at the others. “We wait till tonight then.”

“So be it. If it is a ploy, we can use them to get Roger back,” Gilgamesh added.

“Alright. If no one shows up, we can talk about it later. My final point then,” Luthor moved his right hand up to touch his Darkbrand. This disgusting ring of fire on his forehead. “I need a volunteer.”

“I see. This mark. Either you want to advance your powers, or you want to test what happens if we disobey Sombra,” Xehanort lowered his voice even more. “No wonder you don’t want Sombra listening in.”

“Oh, now you went from interesting to fun,” Kefka added, matching his voice with the bald old man.

“Well, count me out,” Vegeta added. “I’m not risking my chance to get more powerful or getting my life back.”

“Did you always have that brown fur belt around your waist?” Gilgamesh asked. It was hard to tell with the lowlight of the cavern. It didn't help he saw the sun this morning.

“Yes!” Vegeta frowned. “I at least know my crystal grants me regeneration.”

“Really? Thanks for sharing, Vegeta,” Luthor complimented. “No, I want to test what happens. We can see what powers we get since Wesker already uncovered his.”

“I’m more curious myself about this mark,” Wesker added. “I volunteer myself.”

“Really? Why?” Gilgamesh added. “I know I could withstand more than you could.”

“I agree with Wesker. Sombra already holds you in high regard. For you to betray him now would raise suspicion.”

“And we want one of us to stay In Sombra’s good graces. And since he holds you in such high graces, he may only let you off with a warning.”

“I tire of all this expository banter! Gilgamesh frowned. While all this talk was important, it was starting to bother him. All this political intrigue didn’t suit him. “What will Wesker do? Hit one of us?”

“It was the one thing he warned us about. He did say he would know if one of us hits the other...” Kefka spoke, a bit miffed. Back stabbing was the one things that gave him most pleasure in life.

Wesker stood up, moving both shoulders back to let his trenchcoat slide off him. “I suppose we need to make this look genuine then.” He turned to look around, nodding at Gilgamesh. “You can take a hit, and Sombra likes you. You make sense. Think you can act?”

“You think of me as untalented? I, GILGAMESH?!” Gilgamesh moved to stand up quickly, bushing the bench abruptly. “I AM THE KABUKI WARRIOR!”

“Good, make it look believable,” Wesker added. He took a few steps back from the table, as the others also stood up to look at the show. According to Exuvia’s observations- These two were the strongest. The changelings stopped, taking look at them now. “You stupid idiot! You’re just a warrior! I’m a scholar! I hold PHD’s! While we did all the work, you stayed here doing nothing!”

“Don’t think just because you’re some scholar I will not hold back!” Gilgamesh shouted. He only had two arms making fists, but he started to gather his power. Wesker as well, moved to take off his sunglasses and slide them off his eyes. The changeling rulers and generals picked up their head, turning to look at them.

“You think because some light show intimidates me?! I’m a god!” Wesker shouted, spreading his legs apart to lift his arms in a boxing pose. While he wanted to put on a show, he couldn’t afford to hold back against this rift jumper.

“Be ready to fall then, false god!” Gilgamesh shouted as he brought both fists to his hips. The warrior continued to power himself up, his white eyes narrowing in anger.

“Gilgamesh! Wesker! Stop this at once!”

Luthor turned his head, turning to look at an annoyed Sombra. Good, they got his attention. He took a second to make sure his mech suit was recording.

Wesker raised his left hand up, the muscles in his arm tensing up as his fingers curled up into a fist. With his arm tensed up, he ignored Sombra and moved forward in a blur.

Unable to catch the sight of the scholar, Gilgamesh raised both arms up to brace for impact. Wesker was imposing and his speed was no joke. Each arm crossed in an X formation, covering his vital spots.

The blow however, never came.

“What the-” Gilgamesh lowered each fist to give his eyes a chance to look around a moment. The others were... looking behind himself? Luthor had his eyes opened wide, looking at the ground. Kefka and Xehanort has their mouths open a bit also.

“AAAAARRRRHHHHH!”

That ear piercing scream came from behind. Gilgamesh quickly relaxed his stance to look behind himself. Wesker was on the ground, on his left side. “You were going to sucker punch me from behind like a rogue?!”

“Bitch move,” Luthor muttered.

Sombra walked over to them all slowly. Each one of his hooves struck the ground deliberately, making a dull echo in the cave that found itself had gone silent. Sombra’s red horn glowed with a dark haze, darkening the already low light of the cavern. With his head high, the dark unicorn looked down at Wesker’s twitching form. There had been no light show to indicate a spell had been cast.

“Wesker?” Gilgamesh asked, looking down to inspect him better. It seems like a lightning spell was cast and had not been finished. The scientist kept twitching as his teeth clenched to keep from shouting. His clothes looked just fine, as did his skin. Was it a mental spell attack?

“Gilgamesh, away from him! He broke his oath,” Sombra spoke, his voice ringing out in the cavern. Even then it was deep, and with a growl. Gilgamesh took a step back, turning to look over at the dark unicorn. “Wesker... With a day till the wargames, you strike now?”

“Let... Stop...” Wesker managed to blurt out. It felt like his body was being shocked and burning at the same time, especially in his brain.

“Sombra, enough. We need him.”

Queen Chrysalis walked slowly stepped at his side to look down at Wesker. “We may even need more champions.”

“Hmph. Very well,” Sombra’s horn stopped glowing, as had his eyes. Wesker collapsed in a heap, refusing to moan. Each arm moved to clutch his head and take a second to recover. Even with his enhanced body, that was painful. Mr. Sombrero walked over to lower his mouth and nudge him gently. Vegeta quickly flew over to the baby black sheep and picked him up away from Wesker.

“What happened? Why did you two fight?” Sombra picked up his head to look at Gilgamesh.

“We argued over my involvement at Baltimare. Wesker felt me not doing anything but relaying orders was...”

“Ah, I see. You wished for a new leader with Smith gone,” Sombra deduced. “Wesker, this is not about petty squabbles. Smith is still your leader, but remember this...” Sombra levitated the fallen man to stand using his magic. “You serve me! Do you understand?”

“Y...Yes,” Wesker answered, finding himself being levitated more than just odd. But he refused to show signs of pain. He served no one any longer. Sombra released him from his field, letting himself stand.

“Very well. Until Roger returns, you will listen to Master Xehanort. It was Roger Smith’s recommendation. Is this understood?” Sombra took a moment to look over at the other, each red eye narrowed a bit.

“Understood,” Xehanort replied, speaking for the group. “Wesker? Come, we still need to discuss the strategy.”

“Sombra,” Wesker finally replied, finding his voice again.

“You only get one chance, Wesker. You are replaceable,” Sombra added as he walked away.

King Aurelius frowned a bit, having remained on his spot to look at them all. “I think it’s time we retrieve Otacon.”

____________________________________

“Momma, why are you crying?” Dinky asked.

“Dinky?” Derpy stopped crying, lifting her head out of her wing. “Oh, its ok. Sokka had to go home.”

“Go... home?” Dinky asked.

“Yes... Momma said magic words.”

__________________________________

“So, you sent Johnny Bravo home?” Princess Luna asked Blueblood.

“Yes, when Twilight sent that letter, I immediately had to send him home,” Blueblood sighed.

“Don’t you like him?”

“Of course! But he misses his mother, Auntie. How can I call myself his friend if I am the reason he’s away from his family?”

Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura.

Bonus:


“Where am I?”

Sokka picked up his head, looking around himself. Where... Where was he? Sokka placed both hands to push himself off the floor to look around. Lots of sun, and it appeared to be a beach. The sound of the waves was oddly nostalgic. It made him homesick for the south pole.

“You? Are you awake now?”

“Huh?” Sokka squinted his eyes a bit, turning to look at the direction of the deep and masculine voice. When he could get himself to stand up, Sokka could make out a man dressed in red. The man was wearing a pair of shades, and had a gourd at his right side. His left arm was in a sling inside his vest, while the other hand held a large sword over the back of his shoulder.

“Ah, you ok?”

“Ye..yeah. Where am I?” Sokka asked, moving a hand to rub his eyes.

“This is Spira. No time to waste, let’s go.” The man in red turned his back to start walking away.

“But who are you?” Sokka started to follow behind.

“My name is Auron. And you are my final student.”

___________________________________

“Ok, look- For the last time, chase my monkey!” King Kai yelled out.

“Now look here, creepy catfish guy, Johnny Bravo don't chase monkeys.”

“But if you do, you will get stronger!” King Kai yelled out, exasperated.

“Look, aren’t human incapable of catching a monkey anyway? They are faster than humans...”

King Kai slapped his forehead and sighed. “And I can’t even get mad because this is true.”

_________________________________

“Oh no! Hell no!” Jiraiya the Toad Sage yelled out. Both hands made an x in front of himself.

“But come on, Pervy Sage! These guys are cool!” Naruto yelled out. Behind himself, the Kids Next Door were looking up at Jiraya.

“Don’t look at me like that! Fine! I’ll train you all!” Jiraya let out a sigh. “Why is it always kids. Why can’t it be a hot girl for once.”

“Yay! We’re going to be Ninjas!”

Author's Note:

Hello! I made it!

Damn, Had a rough year. Last year I had problems around this year too.

Hopefully, you know who the new teachers are...

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