Applejack Rents a Bobcat
Applejack Rents a Bobcat
Admiral Biscuit
Louis Keller believed that a proper workday always began with a cup of coffee, so as soon as he'd opened the back door of the shop he went straight to the break room and set the Bunn coffee maker to its appointed task.
That done, his next stop was the key drop box. A few machines had been returned after hours. They'd been properly parked with the glaring exception of a Skylift that was sitting right in the middle of the lot, blocking half of the spaces. Whether the renter had wanted to make sure that they saw it, or was just a jerk, he didn't know.
Louis could have waited for the coffee maker to finish its morning duties, but he hated an untidy workplace, so he grabbed the keys out of the early bird envelope and went out to move it back to its proper place.
He'd just parked the Skylift in their back lot when Roger Gwinner pulled in, nosing his Dodge Ram in between the ranks of utility tractors and skid-steer loaders.
“Morning, Louie.”
“Rog.” Louis shut off the Skylift and slipped the keys in his pocket. “Looking forward to the weekend?”
“Yeah. Going fishing in Minnesota. Pomme de Terre Lake.”
“Oh, yeah. I've been there. Caught a 20 pound pike one year.”
“That's what I'm hoping for.” Roger yawned. “You make coffee yet?”
“'Course I have.”
The two men walked together back to the office and were still talking about fishing trips past and present when Cliff Parisi arrived, late as usual. Not that it really mattered; he tended to get his day's work done despite the constant late starts. Louis had spoken to him about it once, years ago, and he'd promised to do better but never had.
Cliff filled his battered Yeti cup with fresh coffee and went back into the workshop to start his day. A few moments later, the distinctive rattle of the air compressor starting up permeated the building, covering the sound of Eddie Rabbit on KOVC.
Roger went to the front counter, and Louis took his place in the office, hesitating slightly before digging into the pile of paperwork on his desk.
Another workday had begun.
•••
He was midway through a requisition form when Roger knocked lightly on his doorframe.
“Hey, boss, you got a minute?”
Louis frowned. Roger almost never called him boss, except when faced with a belligerent customer.
He nodded and pushed back his chair, already mentally preparing himself for someone who wanted a discount on a piece of equipment or didn't feel like they should have to pay a security deposit or any of the other thing that customers complained about.
As he walked to the front counter, he didn't see the customer proper, just the very top of a Stetson hat.
A midget. Is the circus in town? He pushed that to the back of his mind. A customer was a customer.
“Hi, I'm—” he began, and then he saw it—her—properly. A well-built gamboge pony with blonde hair and alluring green eyes. And most importantly, a friendly, easy smile. “—ah, Louis. Keller. The manager.”
“Applejack.” She got up on her hind hooves and reached a foreleg over the counter. That was a clear enough invitation for him, and the normalcy of a handshake—even if it was with an equine—got his mind somewhat back on track.
“What brings you by?”
“Ah need to rent a Bobcat.”
Louis blinked, then looked over at Roger. “She's got a reservation,” he mouthed.
“I see. A Bobcat.”
“Ah've got to do some work, and everypony—everyone—says that they're the best.”
“They are,” Louis agreed. “Pardon me for asking, but do you know how to operate a Bobcat?”
“Well, Ah reckon it can't be too hard to figure out. Ah know how to use just about every other kind of farm equipment.”
“That's fair, I guess.” Louis looked back over at the computer screen. “Now, I see that you've got it 'til the end of the day—”
“Yup. Ah reckon it'll make short work of—”
“—which, as long as it's back by the time we open tomorrow, there's no late fee. Otherwise the rental cost goes up in four-hour increments. Now, were you planning on having it delivered, or do you have a trailer?”
“Ah was just going to drive it.”
That wasn't against the rules, and it was rural enough that tractors and combines weren't an uncommon sight on the street. “Do you have a credit card? There's a damage deposit, and. . . .”
She did have a credit card, which she was holding lightly in her lips. Where it had come from was a complete mystery to Louis, one that he didn't care to think about too much.
“Total rental fee is $240, plus a $500 security deposit, which will be refunded to your card when the Bobcat is returned clean and undamaged.” The word clean hadn't originally been in the script or the contract, until numerous contractors had taken full advantage of the omission.
“Yessir.”
Roger slid the rental contract over to her, and she signed it neatly with a mouth-held pen.
•••
Cliff joined them on the sales floor, and the three of them watched out the front windows as Applejack drove the Bobcat through the parking lot and out into the street.
They kept watching until the yellow blinking light on the roof of the skid-steer had completely faded from their view.
“Did you think her voice sounded a little bit like Reba McIntyre, or was that just me?” Roger finally asked.
“I noticed that, too,” Cliff said. “Y'know, Louis, I've got to ask—why'd you rent it to her?”
“She had a reservation.”
“Well. . . .”
“And a credit card, and an honest face.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Looks like she knows how to drive it, too.”
“I'm just glad you're the one who did the contract,” Roger said. “If it does turn up on its roof in a ditch or we never see it again, won't be my name on the contract.”
“I'll call myself into my office and tear a strip off my hide if that happens,” Louis promised him. “Don't think it will, though. Alright. Cliff, if you haven't got anything else to do, go get that manlift and fix the leaky hydraulic hose. Roger, make another pot of coffee. She drank the last cup.”
•••
Five o'clock rolled around and there was no sign of Applejack or the Bobcat.
Louis took his time shutting down. He wasn't worried; there were a thousand reasons she could be late.
Roger stayed, too. He got the beat-up Electrolux out of the closet and began vacuuming the showroom rugs.
Cliff left on time, lest his favorite seat at Cat-Tails be taken.
•••
Applejack and the Bobcat returned at 5:15. The loader itself was so clean it practically sparkled. It probably hadn't looked that clean since the day it left the factory.
Applejack herself showed plenty of evidence of hard work, though. Her coat was stained with mud and salt; even the brim of her hat was drooping slightly.
Louis met her outside and pointed to an empty spot, and Applejack neatly parked it between the lines, then unhooked the harness and hopped out the front.
“Sorry Ah'm late. Hope y'all weren't waiting for me.”
“No, not at all,” Louis said. “We were just taking our time closing up. No big deal at all.”
It only took a moment to refund the deposit on her credit card, something Roger handled. Louis could have done a through walk-around—something he normally would have done—but he trusted that she hadn't broken it.
“You need a ride?” Louis asked. “I could—”
“My brother's comin' to pick me up. Thanks for the offer, though. And thanks for letting me rent the Bobcat. Ah reckon most places wouldn't, 'cause Ah'm—”
“That's their loss.” Louis went around the counter to hold the front door open for her. “You're welcome back any time.”
“Ah appreciate that.” She tipped her hat as she passed him, then walked across the parking lot and climbed up into the cab of a 1979 Mack dump truck.
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Because we needed to calm things down a bit with a sensible pony doing sensible things.
ramblingsofanatheist.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/fanmade_applejack_vector_by_qsteel.png
I love stories like this.
8875901
>tfw you know an AB story by the title alone and haven't even read any of his work I mean what
8875907
You're really missing out.
8875913
I knowwwwwwwww
Now I wonder what Applejack need the Bobcat for? Also I want a picture of the Apple siblings in that dump truck. Also nice of them to clean it up so well after they used it.
Well yet again, that was... something.
Gamboge, a word you just had to use. Had to look it up, only to realize that I knew it and forgot what it was.
I'm rather curious as to what she needed a bobcat for. I dont know if you've use it in the past or not.
Having actually been around and used a bobcat, the thought of a pony operating one is *flails about*
Her shoulders and back have to be sore what with the height difference for the controls.
Also that ending.
Makes me think of a fic idea I had once but never wrote that was loosely similar in concept. Never wrote it though because it was all a bit too routine and it didn't seem interesting enough to go through with it.
Maybe I should reconsider. Hmm...
Anyway, a cute little one-shot.
At least run a credit check at least! For all we know, that's a changeling looking to get some prima earthmoving equipment.
I...
ok. *shrug*
Have an upvote.
Yeah, we've had similar issue at my workplace. And till last year, we didn't even have deposit for most of our equipment and amazingly small one for the few that did have one...
Then we got fed up with all the abuse.
My own boss also have that kind of sense of humor. Makes life easier.
Of course Big Mac drives a big Mack.
Or maybe Big Mac IS a big Mack?
8875929
What I wan't to know is how she managed to go from "here" (wherever it is) to Ponyville, use the thing, clean it very thouroughly and bring it back in such a short amount of time.
I don't think you need to al cp the "he"
OH MY GOSH THIS IS AMAZING!
8875995
Well one of her best friends is a very accomplished mage. I say magic.
8875929
Farm stuff--what else would she need one for?
So do I
This is kinda similar.
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I feel like they're the kind of ponies who would.
Is it so bad that I was expecting shenanigans to happen to Applejack, only to return the bobcat as if nothing happened?
For me it feels... devoid of something.
Maybe I am too accustomed to black comedy to settle for good ol' slice of life.
8875953
Something good, I hope.
I'm sneaky like that. For everyone who comes to the party late, gamboge is the color Applejack is.
Farm stuff--why else would she need a Bobcat?
I've never had the pleasure of driving one. I can't imagine that the controls (or the seating position) are overly pony-friendly, but she's a smart pony and therefore can figure it out.
8875959
As the King of Slice of Life, I recommend writing this type of story (and this is serious talk). Maybe there's not the fame and glory that comes with writing shipping stories, but IMHO there aren't enough stories where a pony has a rather uneventful but pleasant day.
Thanks!
8875977
She's got a credit card. As long as the credit card machine accepts it, who cares if she's a changeling?
Besides, if she doesn't bring it back, Louis will send collections people after her, and they're merciless. Moreso than sharks, even.
8875985
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That seems like something that every equipment contract should include. You'd think that was just common sense, but it turns out there's not a lot of that going around.
It does. My former boss would have said something like that; my current boss would blame me for his own decision.
He complained about me not getting a car finished before the end of work yesterday, even though he hadn't ordered all the parts for it yet. The final part I needed didn't arrive until 3:30 today.
8875994
Why wouldn't he? Seems like the kind of truck he'd drive.
"My brother, the truck." That would have been an interesting twist to this story.
8875995
Who says that she hasn't got a branch of Sweet Apple Acres in North Dakota? Rarity's got more than one boutique.
correction made; thank you!
8876047
Thanks!
8876063
While I do admit that I love throwing little twists in my stories--especially comedies--to catch the reader unaware, sometimes it's nice to just have a good slice of life story where a pony has a good day where nothing too important happens.
8875859
As opposed to "then, while Applejack hops off to grab a drink of water, Rainbow Dash swoops down and begins driving the Bobcat."
8876096
Now that you mention it, this one-shot did remind me of a manga named 'Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou' - which was entirely slice of life.
If you can find it, go on and read it - it is lovely and calm.
8876085
Oh, I agree! I just found it punny.
8876076
Sharkpony collections agency when?
img00.deviantart.net/9b98/i/2014/341/e/a/scootaloo_flys_a_huey_by_hillbe-d891l3o.jpg
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To my tired mind, this was a nice glass of warm milk... I'm kinda curious, is there a prequel? Where she deals with opening the credit/debit account? or a bank for currency exchange?
Or Rarity, she too has a business (needs) that could translate well to humans. Or poorly. depends who she tries to clothe I guess.
"After consideration, the US government has decided to keep the growing trade with Equestria a secret for now. Analysis indicates that added to all the stress built up over the last two years, finding out that the largest growth element in the current economy is magical ponies is likely to drive roughly 1/10 of the US population into gibbering lunacy."
Haven’t read the story yet, was super tired when I saw the title, and thought Applejack rented a live, wild bobcat. That was a fun image while it lasted.
But anyway, this looks fun too. Definitely looking at it over the weekend.
You realise that Dash and Pinkie would be pranking AJ with the JCB Dance troupe and leaving the machine in places it should not be able to get to at all, and Pinkies camera work making the thing look like its floating in the air or driving under the ocean courtesy of a handle raincloud etc.
The hamlet at top of teh road where I lived reminds me of the equipment driving down the road. The school bus service used to go as far, and reverse three point turn into the track between two farm yards on one side to head back down the hill to the 2 lane main road. The spacng between the row of houses is wide so that cattle could be droved in the old days, that being the old coaching inn and stay over. The road slopes down towards teh houses and the phone poles are on that side, so thers almost a 4 foot difference in height in the wires. Many times the Doubledeck bus in the 80s, and the Combines haveto come up through the hamlet right over teh wrong side of the road, and in summer, a lot more carefully, not just to get under the wires, but the hottest days Ive seen the wires lift up and slide along the roof of the bus and only just miss with the combine. Im pretty sure tehres been catches and damages I havent seen. About the only thing left to be thnakful of is that after all these years, is that buyups, aucions and purchases means the farms have all expanded if any to the same locations, so we dont get 15 ton slurry spreaders criss crossing the valley, instead the odour wafting gently through in the still hot air.
SkidSteer for a day? Laying out a load of gravel or hardcore to pack a drive or scrape up barn rubble into the dump truck? Applebloom on backhoe for trenching foundations for the new building?
i love it. a grate story.
now i am wondering how this story got stuck in AB head?
maybe something work related?
a photo of the machine i plan on renting this summer.
i.ebayimg.com/images/i/332135612556-0-1/s-l1000.jpg
8876083
Well, if there was more common sense around, we would not need those in the contract in the first place.
And damm! Your boss is something special. Treasure it.
See, Applejack learned her lesson after ordering a Bobcat in Equestria and Fluttershy shipped one to her by Next Day Delivery.
"Instead of containing machinery, package contained bobcat. Would not buy again."
An enjoyable bit of surreal mundanity, or possibly the other way around. Though I do have to wonder how Applejack reached the pedals.
Also, I find myself deeply amused that there really a French Potato Lake.
How this didn't make it into the featured box, I don't know. Damn shame though, I like this one. Simple, uncomplicated, but it makes a lot of sense and isn't stupid. Some stuff could be fleshed out, but that would risk bogging it down with irrelevant details. Then again it's being presented from the perspective of those who've been in the business for years and have likely seen just short of everything in that time, so it would make sense that it would be presented as it is.
8876686
Now THAT should've been in the story.
8875929
She needed it to dig a grave for that pony who liked strawberry more than apples.
8876257
There was a story, that I cannot find, where Rarity intentionally crashed the diamond market. She was upset over the exorbitant prices for how common they are. Twilight was upset about it but it was too late for the damage to be repaired.
8876986
Its #5 with mature turned off.
Seconding FOME, "surreal mundanity" is probably the best description of this story. And I love how it is an actual story, even though the only thing that happens is that AJ rents a Bobcat and returns it sparkly clean.
8875859
Agreed. That was absolutely necessary.
This is fine.
8877106
I suspect that might be Admiral Biscuit's fic actually. Trouble with unicorns or something.
I think that what is most special about this story is the way Louis takes the whole episode in stride. A unique and fantastic character makes a mundane request, and he handles it on those merits alone. And here, at the end, when all has been resolved, he doesn't even allow that fantastic character to call attention to her uniqueness in his mundane world.
Somehow, this makes me draw some parallels with Louis in this story, to others who have throughout history chosen to do honest, ordinary, business with their societies social outcasts; thus bringing dignity and humanity to that social outsider in their corner of the world, sometimes at risk to themselves or their business.
Well now I've got to figure out how to do a surreal mundanity slice of life story of my own. That's not gonna be an easy feat to accomplish.