Inside the mind of Spike, there are doubts, fear, indecision, and loneliness. He longs for his true love, Rarity, to be his; but unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case. After a few years in solitude, he becomes a larger dragon whose size strikes fear into the hearts of Ponyville's citizens. (It doesn't take long for dragons to grow). Full of memories and sadness, he trudges away to Mount Dragon to live the rest of his life away. But something in his heart is calling him; beckoning him. He wants to give in, he wants to return; yet his inner concious tells him to only leave for food. He refuses to leave - until one day, he hears a familliar scream...
Author's notes:
If you're all going to favorite this, could you also take the time to hit the "Like" button as well? I like the amount of people that are adding this to his or her favorites, but I don't understand why the "likes" are so low if the favorites are so high.
I'm not looking for constructive critism. Don't give me any, if you please. I'm all for voicing opinions, but don't tell me what I should or shouldn't change. Writing stories is my downfall, but in this story, I just let my writing take control. Your opinions are valued, but I refuse to take orders.
If you want something to "help" with, look at my other story, Rarity's Little Disaster.
First!
Poetic and quiet a rare find. It's going to be hard to tell the story like that if it is your intention to keep with it through out, but it could prove masterful.
dawww...soo cute
I liked it, but felt it was way too short of a opener. Of course you have me wanting more, dont get me wrong but I wish the first chapter was pushed longer.
This was awesome
The well written form makes it hard to imagine a baby Spike writing this. The contrast with the show is just too big.
Liked it a lot, but my imagination can't really get into it.
I would love to a huge comment on this but I'm in class so I'll keep it short. It is story's like his that make me love Spike because I know what the kid is going thru and I can relate. Only difference is I lost anyways thank you for beings able to write how I fleet. It's story's like this that make me wish Spike and everypony was real so I could relate even deeper. Spike my dragon you will get her one of use has to get the girl or in your case mare. Besides love is a crazy thing maybe she does feel that way who knows just don't lose hope
hmmm. I am very interested in were this goes next and how you tell this story.
So far great start and I can not wait to read the next chapter.
Spike...I feel your pain...I know about it in ways that you couldn't even imagine. My phyc is locked in a constant battle between madness and sanity. Everytime I read a story like this, or see a picture about something like this, it feels like I've had an aluminum baseball bat swung into my head, a rusty knife stabbed into my heart, and a steel-toed boot kicked into my groin. Because somehow, deep down, I know that I'll never be able to find someone who I can share my happiness with. Someone who will be there when I feel alone and depressed.
, and a moustache
.
Sometimes, I feel as though I'm the one person on earth who will never find someone to love them. Anyways, great chapter, I really like it. It's very well thought out and you did a very good job writing Spike as a teen-ager. You get a yay
The Master of Madness, signing off.
Well well well... isn't this poetic.
I really don't feel that Spike would ever be 'just a friend' with Twilight. Their relationship will always be deeper then that. She had a close relationship with him when she was young, so how could they not have a strong relationship?
However, I think you capture Spike's feelings for Rarity greatly and the cliffhanger is rather saddening. I hope for a happy ending, but the Tradgey makes me think otherwise...
Hmmmm... well it is interesting to say the least. Spike's thoughts and reflections are good and come across strongly and clearly. The talk about relationships and how they match together can be a bit odd however... and I may be looking too deeply into it but it seems the relationship between the sisters might be more then that of sisters from what is said...
If that isn't the intention, maybe you should double check it?
937902
You're the reader. YOU decide what to make of it.
937921
True enough...
923097
Don't do that, you could get banned.
Interesting, I need more information to process this even further.
What's with the constant updating? Hitting the wrong button?
939242
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/222/f/d/fluttershy_holds_her_breath_by_phenoct-d4625f1.png
939215
I don't need sarcasm.
939251
Use words. I don't know what that means.
939267
Get that chip off your shoulder, brony. It was my way of saying 'we're cool'.
939279
My apologies. By chance, are you the one who disliked my story without explaining why?
939299 Absolutely negative. If I had, why would I have faved it...
... do you really think that little of me?
93930
Nuh. My apologies. I didn't realize you favorited it. :z
939332
Sometimes that can happen, but there's no need to get paranoid about it. Respect your audience and they'll respect you
Now, since I'm already making a comment, here's what I think of the story as well:
I really enjoyed Spike's narration. Makes him feel nice and angsty, as a teenager would, but also that he means everything he thinks. Heartfelt emotion really makes the writing what it is, and I admire that more than anything else that can be said for it.
So yeah, have a like and continue on your way
I TAKE YOUR STORY *slurp sound* AND DRINK IT UP
Make more please!
-Muxix311
"If both ponies have a red, firey personality, then the match will work; but not as well as two colors that highlight eachother's good points. But if one pony has a relaxed, green nature while the other," she pauses to show Twilight a dark-blue rubbon and an orange ribbon, then continues, "has a tendency to be, shall we say, impatient, then it simply won't work!"
I want to congratulate you on actually understanding how relationships work. You are one of few who understand that two different or two similar may as well be poison. That picture is awesome. Spike's poetry was deep. And you, are a genius. Shame I suspect things aren't going to go well for out young drake.
Great chapter loved both Spike and Rarity's parts of the story and am very curious to see were it goes so keep up the great work.
Wezzing? Spike doctor now or soon but get ready poines dont go wezzing for any reason and on another note friendzoned im sorry dude im sure you will make it out if anyone can its you.
942599 What are you talking about?
942641I listen to Twilight's unsteady, unexplained, wheezing that part kind of looks like something bad is going to happen.
942716
Ohh haha. I'm sorry lols.
942722 oh thank celestia does that mean i can go to bed without fear of poines suffering?
942729 Eh, actually, no lol.
942744 really? ok just dont kill no pony or else i might as well get in my egg postion with my cookies now.
942760 What I meant by that is: Twilight is suffering. She's not dying, though.
942785 oh ok thats better. i think? anyways keep up the good work
Anyways this is going to be good
.... Were does that poem come from?
In story that is... it came out of nowere
Okay maybe a few days off...for Twilight's sake and health wouldn't hurt Spike, right ?
I mean Twilight is a sick pony or at least coming down with a cold and needs the love and care to get well.
Still, it was a nice update and a nice insight look at Heartwarming Day presents, even though it's a bit early.
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale like this one.
Have a happy Hearyh's Warming. Hearts Warming, small typo, easy fix. By the way Applejack is one word not two.
Another exciting chapter. Rarity seemed a little... odd. She took it really strangely, almost like she ignored certain parts of his confession. Twilight clearly knows something we don't.
944454 Ah, then my friend lied when he told me about the spelling.
As for Apple Jack, I prefer her name that way. I don't like the real spelling.
946791 I suppose I'll have to deal with it since I love this so much. Damn you, and your amazing writing skill.
I can't stop reading this story, I can relate to it so much.
HMmmm I don't know.
movies-wallpapers.net/Movies/Cliffhanger/Cliffhanger-01.jpg
949197 Is that bad?
Twilight Spatkle's Notes
I think you mean Sparkle
949206 I never know personally. He has bad luck with pics. Anyways, LA GASP, cliff hanger my old nemesis; we meet again. Must wait two weeks...
P.S. I make people wait much longer so don't feel bad.
949262 Oh crap. Thanks lol
l>>949269 Oh. Well, I hope that doesn't stop him from viewing.
Also, it'd be nice to know where everyone thinks this story may be going or where they want it to go. Inspiration please!