After events take a short turn for the worse Spike Decides to leave Ponyville, leaving most of the mane six confused. It seems none of them are able to convince him to stay. Each of Twilights friends confront her, most of them sad, but among them is a rather enraged rarity who had something planned for his upcoming birthday.
What was the argument about?
What did rarity have planned?
Why is the author asking the readers so many questions?
Well, I'm not sure, get reading!
(First Sparity fic)
Chapters (8)
Erm, You seem to forget capitalization of names (ex. spike, twilight, etc)
Other than that, nice read.
Ohhh 4th wall shattering questions and Sparity boo fucking yah time to read!
/whistle I can feel for Spike i'v certinaly experienced a ungrateful bitch claiming i don't do enough while i do everything and they sit on their fat ass.......... is it bad im hopeing Twilight falls down a well at this point.
Anywhys you NEED to capatalize all names other then that grammer seems solid didn't notice any spelling mistakes.
I very much look forward to reading the rest of it keep it up, its got a lot of promise
poor Spike....
Tracking
When I read this all I could think was: Its about time Spike chew out Twilight
. Poor guy doesn't ask for anything.
I like the premise of this story. There are a number of gramattical errors that need to be addressed included the chapter title (More than a disagreement). Make sure to capitalize names and watch your punctuation as well. Finally, try double spacing subsequent paragraphs to make the story easier to read.
I look forward to seeing where you take this. Keep writing!
Before i read.
Thank Celestia. We have some Spike love, dragon almost never gets anylove. Even on the show he gets like five lines i mean what the hell is that its not like his twilights friend or anything no thats cool his a slave. he didn't help twilight make friends no its cool no Spike love is cool.
Anyways time to read.
WHAT THE FU*K MAN I WAS GETTING SO INTO IT AND THEN BAM CHAPTERS OVER Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????????
Anyways Its pretty good I like it hope to read more soon. And please dont have updates months apart this is too good to have to wait so long.
files.sharenator.com/whos_awesome_your_awesome_27_reports_by_mrcbccadetx0-s599x479-155511.jpg
Tracking
Grammar issues aside this is some good stuff
Yeah Grammar is not really a strong point, as forthe names, was so hyped was typing fast and not hitting shift...hehehehe..Glad you all like
Couple of grammar errors, but who cares about that!
Please update soon!
rough? yes.
great start? defenatly!
If you ever need help editing, just ask. Be happy to help at any time!
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I dont think you know how nice that is, My grammar in general is rather...erm...terrible...I focus On getting the story out of my head before it runs away from me in fear XD
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Its ever not a problem! Just let me know if you require my services! I am available most of the time.
At least you can get your stories out!
This seems very interesting.
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Shall I spam Hasbro with fanmails and this story in transcript form? hm? MWAHHAHAHAHAHA
I'm never forgetting what hasbro did to spike...not attending to Twilight's birthday party...they're cruel
Sounds great so far. Though I notice that you said at the end, some chapters will be in journal format. I'd like to suggest you don't do that. Not to say quick little excerpts from somepony's journal would be a bad idea, especially to examine the character's psyche, but an entire chapter? The change in format could throw some people off. Plus, I can't think of a reason to do an entire chapter that way.
Oh, another thing: Why didn't anypony call Twilight out on her stubborn stupidity? Something like this:
Twilight: I was in the right and he was the one who was yelling MY ear off...not like he gave me a chance either.
Rarity: [slight pause] Darling...are you shitting me?
Twilight: Huh?
Rarity: You increase your workload and give Spike a hard time for not keeping up? No offence darling, but that makes you sound like a bitch.
Twilight: What!?
Applejack: Mmmhm.
Pinkie: Yep.
Rainbow: Huge bitch!
Fluttershy: Definitely bitchy.
Rarity: He tries his hardest to help you in any way he can, and you yell at him because it's not enough?
Twilight: I didn't yell at him!
Rarity: Not the point.
Twilight: Argh!
Rarity: He is possibly the hardest worker in all of Ponyville, helping anypony out at any chance he has, and you call him lazy?
Twilight: I didn't call him lazy.
Rarity: You said he's not working hard enough. Should I grab my dictionary or do you have one?
Twilight: [long pause] Holy crap! I'm in the wrong!!!
Rainbow: There we go! :D
But that's just me.
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Well Twilight being bullheaded about this plays a role later on... be patient...and...Rarity shall contfront her later..I assure you... I assure you...
*spoiler*
This fic is more of a "Spike becoming badass when on his own"Kind of thing. you will see what I mean
*end spoiler*
And I really want to keep foul language out of this fic. Everypony has their reasons for not confronting her right hen and there I promise.
I hope this updates soon.
nice chapter but i have to say you should change the argument to something a bit bigger where they aren't over reacting like spike getting to attached to rarity and falling behind or something of that sorts but im sorry the argument is flawed i know people who get in those all the time and they don't run away heck even i get in them sometimes on both sides granted its your story so its your choice (the rarity one would be good enough to not have to even change the second chapter just throw a blog out letting people know the changes if you decide to do something like that but good job so far bye)
HAH I GOT KILL THE ARGUMENTi50.tinypic.com/vg1tgw.jpg
Not bad just you use i mean for fluttershy and darling to much for rarity. i know i know its hard to think of something else since thats like their catchpharse, trust me i know its a big pain in the ass and i mean big i would stare at my computer for hours thinking of something else.
anyways that is all.
Not bad at all but i think you should add more wood to the fire make twilight say sorry and then she opens her mouth agian and this time goes to far that would really justife Spikes reasoning and make it all drama like a soup oprea.
Shut up ok school starts late for me.
Anyways have this as a gift
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/131732491560.gif
I appreciate all the comments, and I admit I rushed this one a bit, there will be some editing, just did not want tokeep anypony waiting too long and had to get to my work. This chapter will be edited I assure all of you. As for the idea of her making matters worse after saying sorry, that is actually somewhat part ofmy plan, not completely, but it will be incorperated. thanks for the feedback
Keep them coming, please!
VERY Good do more i love this story already
I wanna next chapter, and i want it NOOOOW!
pwetty please?
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yes yes yessss ! Mwahahahaa...My evil plan is working! yeahnew chapter may be a week...work hates me
Glad you have your fun
Yeah update soon im happy.
good chapte,r but i did see a spelling mistake (Rarity ha taught him a thing or two about finding gems without magic) you know had insted of ha. just wanted to tell you so you don't have to deal with it later.
i.imgur.com/FQ9Cg.jpg?3
ouch that is gonna hurt and mabye open her eyes for long time.
Why only 600 words? its not fair! MOAR plz
Spike truly has a strong grasp of the written word.
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First off...you all have my lulz. second, When you are frequently told to write formal letters to the supreme god-trollof the universe, I assume he must have picked up on some fancy talk...yes...He was aspeakin in fancay!
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was in a a hurry (Again) and need to think up a nice,heart shattering reaction from twilight...Yes...*SPOILER* She WILL break down in tears*End spoiler*not that I have anything against her... its just that in this story she is being characteristicaly bullheaded about how she feels...and is wrong...so yeah...
also, a humble challenge, if anypony can post a picture of spike looking nonchalantly badass in the presence of rarity, I may actually go through with my*Partial SPOILER* "Rarity bitches twilight out for making spikey wikey run off" type chapter...XD *End of ze partial spoiler*
and since I love trolling... *Seriously huge fucking SPOILER*Spike becomes a fucking badass cause we all know he is one *End of the ginourmous spoiler*
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You reguested some picture, how 'bout zis?
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/282/5/b/mlp__spike_and_rarity_by_ss2sonic-d4c9wel.jpg
If you cut blackNwhite drawing, it will be good
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hmmm...needs more baddasery...good but...more baddassery is needed
i pick E.) all of the above!
but in all honesty i have no idea
A
The fight scene should definitely be against Iron Will.
On another note, great job so far, looking forward to more.
Man, this is sad...
And the fight should obviously be with Iron Will, if only for the dialouge.
A
A
B.
what is she planning
B definitely
