The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

So, So Frustrating

"So, uhh." Valey fidgeted with her intact forehoof. "How long?"

"...Have I had a crush on you? You want to talk about it?" Shinespark raised an eyebrow. "I mean it, Valey. You have a good thing going with Amber, here. I'm only telling you because you asked."

"Eh. I'm curious." Valey put her chin on her leg. "Like... since Riverfall? Something about Ironridge? No offense, but you didn't really seem to be feeling all that up to it then."

Shinespark folded her ears. "It isn't a feeling that started all at once, and it changed as time passed. You were really frustrating in Ironridge, Valey. You played by your own rules and did things that shouldn't have worked and weren't beholden to anyone, and it always looked like it worked for you! You were so many steps ahead of all of my plans that you knew everything I was up to and made a big show of only letting us get away with building this ship and running the Spirit and everything else because of your random whims. It's like you spent all that time yanking me around and using my responsibilities as a chain and showing off how free you were, and the older we got and the deeper I went into conspiring to save Sosa, the more it happened... You were intensely frustrating. On my mind more than I cared to admit. And something unattainable, too. It was like you were showing off everything I couldn't have because of what I had chosen to be. I... wanted to do something to you, and could never decide what."

Valey pursed her lips. "I mean... yeah, I totally did..."

Amber waggled her eyebrows.

"Hey!" Shinespark shot Amber a look. "I'm being serious, here!"

"Frustration, huh?" Amber swayed her hips. "Tell me you didn't fantasize just a little."

Shinespark frowned. "Tell you I didn't? But Valey just asked me to tell her about that..." She sighed. "Okay. Thoughts. Even after we left Ironridge, you were like that to me. Remember when I was in a slump about losing my home, my mission and all my friends and you were making new friends and running around and laughing?" She turned back to Valey. "It's always been that way."

"Okay, hold on." Valey waved a wing. "You do know that bit's mutual, right? I was always seriously jealous of you for having friends and enough privilege to get others to do stuff for you without tricking them into it. Getting carted around on a pedestal and seeing smiles everywhere you went, and stuff. You were popular in the upper districts too, you know. So, like, that goes both ways."

Shinespark's ears fell, then perked again. "I'll get to that. Don't worry. Anyways..." She swallowed. "All that was tied up because I thought you were a jerk. Like I said, it made me frustrated and I wanted to do something. And then that last night, you... you remember the cave in the eastern valley?"

Valey hesitated. "...Yeah. Gotta be honest, I... kinda left that bit out of every retelling of the story I've done so far. Sorta figured I'd leave your darkest hour between the two of us."

"Thanks," Shinespark mumbled, ignoring Amber's curious look. "If there was a point where things changed, it was that. I was furious at you in there. You were fighting me up on the dam before everything went wrong. I had just seen my entire world end, and the only thing I had left was the filly who pulled the trigger, and then you showed up with your infuriating freeness. Like the world had ended and because you weren't tied to it like I was, it wasn't dragging you down with it. It felt like you were there to gloat."

"...Sounds like it's still a sore subject." Valey drooped. "I, uhh... yeah. Sorry about that. I still think it's pretty insanely impressive you're still going after all that."

"Heh. I have issues." Shinespark wiped at the corner of her eye. "Ones you know all about, with Grenada and whether to take responsibility for my failures in Sosa. Everything I told you about before the tournament. But that's not where I'm going with this." She brushed a longer bit of errant mane out of her eyes. "The thing that got me was that after I gave you Starlight, you didn't leave. You stayed there and kept trying to get me on my hooves, even after you made a point about how easily you could and would leave me behind. I knew you would go. Why wouldn't you? I saw you as my rival, a little guiltily since it felt like you were so far ahead, but still. It felt like your ideology had won and mine had lost. And you... you stayed and... I'm not going to get through this without crying, am I?"

"Heh. Wuss." Valey gave her a comforting grin. "Need a shoulder?"

Shinespark returned the look with a watery smile. "I can finish. The point is, I didn't have a lot of time to think about it then, since as soon as I was back on my hooves, I was still trying to save Ironridge. And failing miserably, of course. I watched Grenada die, the skyport be destroyed, my best friends in the Spirit fight each other to death in my name, Herman crush me in a single blow... and no matter how stupid I was, you kept stubbornly following me and trying to get me out. Even though you had every reason to. Really... gave me a lot to think about."

Valey winced. "Yeah... It was pretty stressful, too, so I'm glad you appreciate it. You were kind of stubborn."

"I remember." Shinespark winced back. "Still, it's been a trend. Aside from when you flirt with me... whether it's because Amber asked you to, in the old days when you did it to bother me the same as everyone else in Ironridge, I even remember you flirting with me in the skyport on the final night... I guess it's really those three things."

Valey counted on her wing spokes. "Uhhh... bothering you and not giving up on you and flirting with you?"

"Err... no." Shinespark's ears went back again. "And that's an oversimplification! Valey, I... You... Everything you regularly did and do, being free and competent and able to get what you want without a care as to how you got it and... Do you know the kind of tension I'm talking about? Because I really don't know the word for it. It makes me feel tight, sometimes, when I see you doing it. I don't know if I'm curious or jealous or something else, but I want something. It, you, I... don't know how to explain it!"

"Tell me about it," Valey sighed. "I've got a few words that might sound a little familiar about you and your ridiculous birthright, but that's for later."

Shinespark looked away. "Right. My birthright... to a flooded city I'm now in exile from. It wasn't just an excuse to re-invent my life, I was forced to. I could... can be pretty much anything I want, now."

"So what's the third thing?" Valey asked, tilting her head. "If it's not the fact that you get completely blushy whenever the subject of me hitting on you so much as even comes up?"

"I do not," Shinespark protested, cheeks staying perfectly orange. "And the third is... more recent, since I started learning more about you and your past and how you relate to moon glass and now these Nightmare Modules. For a while, there, you were still the carefree Ironridge jerk to me who had everything I wanted and was miles ahead, but somehow slowed down and came back for me. I... didn't understand you, then." Now her cheeks reddened slightly. "I think that's when I had it worst, because I was fighting with myself over thinking it since you were you, and we... well, I still had massive issues with you about the dam and Sosa and how much I disliked you in Ironridge. We weren't friends. Rivals at best, with you that far ahead-"

"Nope," Valey cut in. "Sparky, remember, I thought you were the one with everything. I'm pretty sure at this point we were equals."

Shinespark grinned awkwardly, but protested anyway. "That's how I felt at the time. Anyway, I felt guilty and a little naughty for thinking about you like that, because of how we had clashed and everything from Ironridge, which weirdly made me feel better within my fantasizing because the way you got away with breaking the rules was one of the things I liked about you and there I was doing that myself just by imagining, and..." She forced herself to stop for breath. "It was circular and self-reinforcing, okay? And I had several days alone with a cold and nothing better to do!"

Valey's eyes widened. "So wait, that time I had been hanging out with Amber all day and then showed off my mane and that ribbon and got all flirty in your face...?"

"Yes?" Shinespark blinked sheepishly. "That's... what I had been using for the last few days to try and take my thoughts off Ironridge." She sighed. "The memories were extremely raw and painful. I always thought someday I'd apologize for using certain thoughts of you to try and distract myself from that. I guess this is that time now. Either way, that point where you came in with the bow was when I realized I needed to reign myself in."

"Eh. Apology accepted." Valey grinned. "Wow, that time we ran into each other makes so much more sense now..."

Shinespark nodded. "Anyway. Like I said, I had it worst at that time, and things subsided a little in my mind after we left Riverfall. Lately, though..." Her eyes wandered to Valey's cast, and then for the first time she met Valey's eyes. "Some things have been happening to damage my image of you, Valey. Seeing how much you hated being alone and afraid you are of not having friends... how little you liked your Ironridge situation that initially made me spend so much thought on you. And now how you're bound, the way I was to my duty, to your past and origin."

Valey's grin vanished. "So..."

"It hurts me to see you like this," Shinespark admitted. "And helps, at the same time. It makes you seem more like me, less like something untouchable and more like a pony. Less shiny, but more like someone I could and would want to help. And... maybe I'd feel like you're less impressive too, for being less perfect or idealistic, but at the same time you're far more impressive for doing the things you've done... the things I couldn't do... despite having so many problems that remind me of my own. We've both got a destiny we're trying to live out of, aren't we? Mine because it holds me to too high a standard and you because yours tells you to stoop too low."

She took a breath, holding up a hoof to prevent any further interruptions. "Hold on, I'm almost done. Valey..." She didn't drop eye contact, giving Valey a serious look. "Watching you right now reminds me of me. I see you struggling with so much that's familiar to me... too familiar. It helps me, sometimes. Remember that talk we had before the tournament? I felt like you understood my problems because I can relate to you. But that goes both ways. It hurts to see you broken like this because I'm seeing you somewhere bad that I've been, but also because I'm seeing you hurting at all. Do you understand that? How I feel?" Her blue eyes glistened, and she stood right next to Valey. "That on top of everything else I said earlier, I want to be the same kind of hero to you as you've been to me?"

"...Yeah?" Valey's voice caught. "Bananas, you... like..." She swallowed. "I thought by proving I could enter the tournament, I was doing us both a favor."

"You were." Shinespark put a hoof on her back. "The kind of favor I want to repay. Can I be honest right now about where I think you are?"

Valey's ears pressed back. "Sorry. I've got... no idea how to... Like... I mean..." She looked up. "What's up?"

Shinespark sighed. "Right now, you remind me of myself during that evacuation. You're holding yourself to an impossible standard. I know exactly how that feels, exactly how it feels like the world is closing in on you and you realize you're in too deep and are just a mare who can't possibly live up to it. And we both know the cave you end up in when it breaks you."

"...And that that cave is just the beginning of the fight to put everything back together again," Valey whispered. "Sparky..."

"That's how I feel," Shinespark said, straightening up. "About you. I have a crush on you, Valey. Or... I did, in Riverfall, and have something else now. I'm not asking to go anywhere with it, don't want to hurt anything between you and Amber, and don't need any pretenses to try my best to help you just as much as you've been there for me. Since you asked... there it is."

She made to step away, immediately bumping into Amber, who loudly cleared her throat. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Huh?" Both mares looked at her.

Amber cleared her throat again, then broke into a broad grin. "Shinespark, girl, did you even listen to yourself? Go ahead, try to sum up my and Valey's relationship. Either of you. I dare you."

"Uhhh..." Valey rubbed her ear, Shinespark turning helplessly to her. "We hang out a bunch, do stuff that's pointless but fun, and trust each other with close secrets at night? I dunno where you're going with this, but you really are great."

Amber leaned in conspiratorially. "Mmm, trusting each other with secrets... Want me to let you in on the closest secret of all?" She leaned closer, muzzle right next to Valey and Shinespark's ears.

"All that is stuff I do with Maple and Willow as well," she whispered. "None of it's exclusive to relationships. We've snuggled a bit too, but... surprise! I do that with Maple and Willow as well. Completely platonically. It's a Riverfall tradition. Comes from how we're raised." She winked. "Basically? You're grand, Valey, and I dig making you happy and at the end of the day this is your call, but did you see how much Shinespark said about you? You and I have an escapade and a few sound stone chats together. You and her have years of rivalry, fighting together for your lives, jealousy turned to adoration and personal understanding! You have so much together just from her half of the story, I just learned new things about what I'd want out of a long-term relationship. So if I were you?" She pulled back, patting both their heads and turning them to face each other. "I'd think about the consequences later, stick it to that impossible standard, and kiss."

This time, it was Valey's turn to turn red, though Shinespark couldn't avoid it either. "Bananas, should we?" Valey's ears couldn't decide whether to go forward or back. "After all that, I think I've got so much in my head I couldn't focus on Nightmare Modules even if I wanted to."

"Well..." Shinespark giggled nervously. "Now that I have to think about it..."

"What?" Valey teased, moving half an inch closer. "Realizing your daydreams didn't really stack up to the real thing? Heh heh... You really want to, right?"

"Just a little bit surreal..." Shinespark hummed, tail flicking nervously.

"Not as surreal as my butt." Valey grinned harder, advancing another half inch. "Come on... you imagined it, you know I'm a tease. And bananas, I think I'm actually in the mindset to enjoy this. Screw Nightmare Modules! I could keep this up-"

Shinespark crossed the rest of the distance in one go, pressing her lips against Valey's.

Valey's comment died on her breath, her pupils stretching with surprise as their muzzles made contact. She shivered, her wings trembled... and she grinned beneath the kiss, any and all consequences forgotten. Nothing and no one was stopping her from doing what she wanted unless she willed it. Her cutie mark was dim, her worries calm, and for once in the Griffon Empire, she was feeling as good as she could be.

"Hee..." Amber tapped her forehooves together happily, watching from a few paces away. "I'll just leave you girls in peace," she sang, sliding the room's door open while looking back over her shoulder... and immediately tripping over Starlight. "Aack!"

Starlight barely noticed, staring through the door at Valey and Shinespark. "Are they kissing?"

"Uhhh... no!" Valey sat bolt upright with a wince and an angelic grin, cheeks bright red.

"Yes! I mean no!" Shinespark winced. "I... Starlight! How long have you been there?"

Starlight frowned. "I don't know why you're doing that, but don't do things that could make the Empire think you're in a relationship. We got raided by pirates entirely because that one mistook you and Maple for being romantic! I'm concerned enough that Amber's back, as-is. And Jamjars will never leave either of us alone if she sees it, too." She looked away, embarrassed. "And I've been pacing in the hall for a long time. You weren't exactly quiet. I was supposed to deliver you a message, but it sounded serious and I didn't want to interrupt."

"Uhhhhh..." Valey and Shinespark looked to each other, an unspoken spark of agreement passing between them. "Oh yeah, don't worry." Valey nodded. "That was like, uhhh... resuscitation training. You know, if you almost drown and stop breathing. Nothing funky."

"Funky?" Shinespark whispered, tilting her head. "Err, right! No funky-funky on this ship."

"So what's the message?" Amber asked, grinning an innocent smile of her own, eager to change the subject. "Got something from Maple or Gerardo?"

Starlight nodded. "Maple and I talked and thought it would be a good idea if we listened to Senescey and took me to see a doctor for my horn. We won't let them do anything that costs too much and mostly want to see if we can figure out what's wrong with it. We're probably going soon, and she wanted to know if any of you wanted to come too."

Shinespark looked down, then patted her stomach. "You know, after that eating contest, I think I've had enough time to digest that I need a nap... Valey?"

Valey belched. "Sparky, much as I'd love to join you..." She struggled onto her three working hooves. "I just flattened Wallace Whitewing, and Starlight is pretty recognizable as a friend of mine. I think it's probably a good idea if I sneak along in disguise, just for safety's sake. I know we just talked about standards and all that, but there's being imperfect and then there's asking for trouble."

Starlight frowned, tilting her head. "We could just not go..."

"Nah." Valey patted her with a wing. "You've had horn troubles for months, kiddo. If there's actually a fix, you deserve it, and you being able to protect yourself better would be awesome."

Amber stretched, hugging herself. "Ooog. I agree with Shinespark. I'm going to need a good night to sleep that contest off... Whew! But a walk would totally help, too, and I want to see Stormhoof with a proper guide and not getting lost a million times. Count me in!"

"Maple did say she'd feel better with you along," Starlight admitted to Valey. "Will you be ready to go soon? You've been in here for hours, and it's getting close to evening."

"Yeah, yeah, bring it on," Valey mumbled, adjusting her cast and making sure she was satisfied with her mane's messiness. "Sparky?"

"Coming," Shinespark echoed, moving to stand beside Valey. "Maybe it'll give both of us time to think."

Starlight nodded, backing out of the room. "Alright. I'll go let Maple know to get ready."

Comments

[Hap]

mmmmm

[Mini-Joe]

absolutely NO FUNKY-FUNKY allowed!!!!!!!!

[Thunder twister]

ALL ABOARD THE HMS VINESPARK! BEST SHIP SETS SAIL

[MazingerZ]

9404341
True, also cool that you still repond.

[Czar_Yoshi]

9404428 No problem. Also, if there's issues you have regarding anyone's characterization, those chapters are around a year old so there's not a lot I can do to change them, but I'd be happy to go into a lot more detail on what I was thinking or why I wrote something a certain way if you elaborate on what bothers you.

[RoboRed]

[Quinch]

I'm calling it now, this will end with the gang booking it at full speed, trying to beat a hypersonic megasphynx to the Varsidellian border.

[Person of Stone]

Amber's special talent for ship building clearly applies in more ways than one. Ha

[Venlinelle]

Finally.

I love every character here- Amber and Starlight for facilitating this situation, Shinespark for delivering maybe the most romantic speech I’ve ever heard, and Valey for letting herself be happy. And all of it led up to a phenomenal culmination of so much character progression and the first real kiss we’ve seen (Puddles does not count).
It was also very well-characterized. Obviously in regards to all the things Shinespark talks about, but also in how this chapter itself is presented. No wonder Shinespark made it as a political leader if she can talk like that.

I’m going to reread this chapter like six more times.
I suppose I owe you $20. I’ll get that in the mail after I stop celebrating.

[whizzball1]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (‘eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ in batpony)

[Venlinelle]

This chapter merits a new comment on my reread: Still the most romantic speech (between this and the previous two chapters) I've ever heard. The fact that Valey didn't expect any of this and has to suddenly respond to what might as well be a marriage proposal is amazing.

When do we get to see them be together in TID, curse you?