The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Bad Questions

The Sosan-made carts hummed onward through the rainy darkness, magically tracing their routes past mud and trees to return to Grand Acorn. Driverless, they rolled on without care for the three ponies huddled under one's roof, staying dry and chatting amicably while they hitched a ride across the Earth District.

"Speaking of Herman, though," Valey was saying, her face lighting up. "Wanna see something crazy?"

Starlight squinted. "Do we?"

"It's... Hang on..." Rummaging around under her hat with a wing, Valey pulled out what looked like a cowbell on a lanyard, and slung it around her neck. "He wants me to wear this for the next few days. What do you think? Silly, right?"

Maple opened her mouth to respond... but before she could, Valey raised a hoof, interrupting. "And don't say it's adorable. Only I'm allowed to call myself that."

"I was going to ask what it was," Maple finished, smiling uncontrollably.

"Oh! Uhh..." Valey juggled it, re-railing her train of thought. "So basically, some nutcase called Selma totally forgot to let Herman know that he ran into me with you guys this morning, so the big boss thought I was taking the week off to hide under that big bridge by the dam on the road from Sosa to the Stone District and pretend to be a troll, or something, which for the record I've totally never done. So this is a pager."

"A pager?" Maple leaned forward.

"Yeah." Valey nodded. "Apparently there's some big hullabaloo planned for tomorrow night, and he wants a way to call me back to make sure I'm not slacking when I should be doing my job. On the one hoof, it's kinda rude that he thinks I'm that lazy or forgetful... but on the other, that's exactly the kind of time I'd choose to slack. So who knows, maybe he'll need it after all?"

"You could just ignore it when it goes off," Starlight pointed out.

Valey grimaced. "Yeah, but then I can't use 'I was napping' as an excuse, and he'll find some way to make me miserable in return. But don't worry, he said tomorrow night, so I've got plenty of time to get you wherever you're going."

"Thank you for sticking with us, by the way," Maple said. "I know we're clueless and useless next to you, and don't really have a way to pay you back, and you know it too. But you've helped us even when we're slowing you down, and you even came back after returning to the Stone District, and... I just wanted to let you know I appreciate it."

"Yeah, well..." Valey looked down, avoiding eye contact. "You know what I always say. Never trust a bat."

Maple smiled gently. "You keep saying that, but I can tell you're a better pony than you think."

Valey lifted a dangerous eyebrow. "And I can tell you have no idea what you're talking about."

Maple didn't back down. "If you don't have our best intentions at heart, why do you keep warning us not to trust you? If you were trying to trick us, wouldn't you just let us walk into it?"

"Look," Valey sighed. "I have no idea how to get this through to you without sounding edgier than that pancake pegasus from way back yesterday at my checkpoint, but there's nothing you can or should do. This isn't about some heinous crime I think is 'irredeemable' or some nonsense, it's about what I am, and you can't change that any more than you can make yourself randomly grow wings and a horn. Probably even less, because for all I know, some crazy mage has a way to do that. But believe it or not, I've made peace with being the bad guy, know how to enjoy my life and am not miserable on a day-to-day basis, so there's nothing here to pity. If you're going to feel sorry for anything, feel sorry for the random ponies I remind every day why I'm bad news. And if you really need to be thankful for the fact that I'm using you to indulge my fantasies of not being the designated villain..."

"Then don't bother you about it. Okay." Maple kept smiling. "We'll do that, then."

It wasn't spoken, but Starlight heard a silent 'And I'll still trust you' at the end. She wasn't sure whether to join in the sentiment herself. She recognized Valey's help just as much as her adoptive mother, but at the same time, there was always such a thing as being too trusting.

"Uhh..." Valey squinted. "I was going to say, 'Thank your kid for smelling nice,' but that works too, I guess? Really, though, if you want to thank me, then just listen to me when I tell you how to stay safe. Namely, stop thinking I'm some heroic do-gooder! I'm the bad guy whether either of us want me to be or not, because that's how the world works, and like I said earlier I'm fine with that. I love messing with ponies and causing mayhem. Maybe I should have beaten up that roomful of foals in Blueleaf, just to get the point across..."

"You said something in Blueleaf, about us asking questions?" Starlight asked, recognizing that the topic needed changing. "Where you sounded like you wanted us to ask you something?"

"Eh, don't read too much into it," Valey answered, quickly regaining her nonchalant attitude. "I was making a joke, I guess it flopped, whatever. But since we've got nothing better to do, I do know everything, so if you're asking permission to ask..."

Starlight hesitated. There was a question she wanted very much to have answered... a question regarding something that had come up multiple times before, in Blueleaf, and always been shot down. It was high on her list of dangerous things to ask, but if Valey was issuing an invitation...

Maple held her own silence for one second too long, and Starlight went for it. "Every time I talk about cutie marks here, everypony gets really nervous and tries to talk about something else or won't even answer. I don't remember exactly what I asked that made them mad, but what happened?"

For a moment, the cart was silent save for the hum of magical energy and this hiss of the rain... and then there was a thunk, Valey's forehead meeting the floor. "You have got to be kidding me," she groaned, hat falling off and exposing the top of her messy green mane to the damp air.

"Huh?" Starlight blinked.

"If I didn't know better, I'd swear you asked that on purpose," Valey grumbled, slumped facedown against the fruit-stained boards. "Oh, bananas."

"Are you all right?" Maple frowned in concern, scooting forward beneath her blanket.

"Yes!" Valey grunted, shoving one foreleg beneath her and propping herself up. "Just... ticked, because now I'm gonna have to talk about something I really don't wanna talk about."

"I don't need to know," Starlight quickly said, confused and trying to restore the peace. "I was just curious!"

"Yeah," Valey sighed. "Just curious. Curious enough that you've apparently been asking about that a whole bunch of times, even though I'm pretty sure I remember telling you in Blueleaf it wasn't a story for kids like you. And that means you need to know, because otherwise you're going to get yourself in a huge amount of trouble, especially given your attitude toward brands."

Starlight bit her lip, silent.

"I don't get it," Maple murmured, confused. "I have no idea what this is about either, but if something is dangerous for ponies to know about, shouldn't you not explain it?"

"Ugh. It works like this." Valey sat up, shuffling so that she was fully facing Maple and Starlight. "Say you find something really bad, and it's impossible to get rid of. Pretty much any pony with a functional brain will agree with you the moment they know what it does and not touch it, right? But there's always going to be some whacko who thinks they can profit off of it, or some idiot who doesn't know how it works and thinks messing with it is a good thing, and that's just a part of life. So what do you do? Do you yell at everyone about it, in hopes that maybe your city won't have any of the idiots? Ironridge is full of scoundrels, you know."

Starlight and Maple stared, letting her continue.

"What they figured the better way was," Valey narrated dourly, "was just to cover it up as much as possible. Tell no one but important, trustworthy types, keep an eye out for anyone who might misuse it and preemptively get rid of them, and hope as hard as they can that anyone who goes poking around..." She glared at Starlight. "Like you runs into someone who can explain it properly first, and then possesses enough of a brain to agree that it's bad and never want to hear of it again."

Maple blinked, suspicious. "I'm sorry if this is bringing back up another bad topic, but if you're so certain you aren't trustworthy, why are you allowed to know about it?"

"Well, I knew about it beforehoof," Valey said, grimacing. "But more importantly, I'm the one creature in Ironridge who can be ensured beyond a shadow of a doubt to absolutely loathe this thing and everything to do with it. That's why I was hoping not to have to talk about it, by the way. And don't ask why, because I'm not telling. ...Anyway." She stretched, settling down into an uncomfortable sit, green eyes dull. "Let's get this story over with."

Comments

[Davidp1522]

Yay story time.
All those things and its where hard to follow at the end, but I think that will clear up by tomorrow.

[Hap]

Is this regarding the black glass shards that Braen pulled out of the lock box?

[bronyheat]

Finally! Curious beyond belief at this cutie mark secrecy.