The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Always Come Back

Hills. Sparse groves. Long, dusty roads. Homesteads separated by fields. Green, rolling plains of grass. And blue sky, with high, scattered clouds and a lone Valey streaking her way east.

She kept closer to the ground than usual for a long-distance flight, since there were no mountains or tall structures to collide with and it was warmer the closer she was to the world. Her forehooves, she held to her chest as she flew, and they had regained enough feeling to feel cold again. At her sides, saddlebags bounced, with nothing inside but a battery and a sound stone and the Nightmare Module she had managed to reclaim.

Her tail streamed behind her like a banner, generating a streak of green, and she wished she had Puddles' goggles as her eyes watered from the wind. This wasn't like the last time she had flown cross-country in pursuit of her friends, though it reminded her of it. She had ground beneath her, so she didn't need to conserve her strength, she was well-rested, and her friends were moving toward her, not away. Valey focused on speed, Starlight's distant scent like a beacon on the horizon that drew her on. Maybe one day, she'd stop to figure out why that worked; how she could smell her friend from so far away. That day, Puddles was hours behind her and Starlight many more hours ahead, so she flew.

---

"How much longer until we reach the sea?" Starlight yawned, sitting back in a chair around the Immortal Dream's dining table as Maple cleared the dishes from dinner and Slipstream busied herself with helping. Sirena sat to the side, listening to the boat move with her cheek against the wall, Gerardo was steering on the bridge as usual, and Jamjars was squirreling away leftovers to hoard in her room.

"I wish I could tell you," Maple answered as she bustled past, stacking plates on her back with the practiced ease only an earth pony could muster. "But that would be a question for Shinespark, because she's the one who sailed this way before, and she's out looking for Valey in case she needs to be freed to come to us."

"I knowww..." Starlight folded her ears. She shouldn't have been bored. She'd made it through a whole month of nonstop flying, coming to the Empire from Riverfall, after all. But... she sighed. It felt like she needed to run, just for the sake of it, and she couldn't put her thoughts into words or anything more than the feeling that she needed to do something. It was the same restlessness that she had thought about earlier, explored and focused on until she didn't notice Maple get up for a drink and had imagined talking to herself... She still hadn't told anyone about that. And she had no idea what to do.

"How are we supposed to find her, anyway?" Jamjars huffed. "All we know is she went west."

Starlight shrugged. "She can find us? I don't know how it works. Valey always said in Ironridge she could smell me from across the city, and again when we got separated flying to Stormhoof. So Shinespark follows her, captures Puddles, frees Valey, and then all three of them come to us, and we just hope we're nearby."

Jamjars gave a friendly roll of her eyes. "She's making stuff up. You don't even use mane conditioner! If anything, she smells me. That reminds me, sometime I want to play with your mane and make it look better. Mine's too short to do anything with anymore."

"Uhhh..." Starlight gave her an uncertain look. "I like my mane the way it is?"

"Whatever." Jamjars tossed her wig over her shoulders. "So really, how are we finding her? Or is the secret that we're running away, so if she comes back to Izvaldi looking for us, we'll not be there and it'll be a prank?"

Starlight looked crossly at her, then at Maple. "I'm going to sit on the deck again," she announced, turning to head for the stairs. "I'll be there if you want me!"

Maple nodded, and Starlight left. The deck was just as empty as before, Gerardo silhouetted through the open door to the bridge and the sky beginning to turn colors as the sun set behind them. Starlight walked straight to the railing, took one look at the deciduous forest scrolling past on the riverbank, and flung herself chin-down on the deck boards, hooves splayed in front of and behind her.

She whimpered internally, just a little. Why was it so hard to just understand what she wanted? Even being flat on the deck and fully fed didn't sate her. Her thoughts were swirling trying to figure out why her thoughts were swirling, and no matter how much it seemed like that shouldn't be a problem, it was. She needed to have something, or to do something, or something else she couldn't even name that was burning up inside her.

"Your problem is that you don't know how to trust anyone."

The memory of the opening to her conversation with herself earlier floated through her mind, and she grabbed onto it. Maybe dreams or hallucinations really were how she had to sort her problems out, and her other self was on to something. But she trusted ponies, didn't she? She trusted that Maple would always be there. Maple needed her just as much as she needed Maple; they'd never leave each other apart. Shinespark and Valey weren't as good of friends, but she trusted them too, right? Not to leave like Sunburst, or...

Not to be taken away like Sunburst. But that wasn't up to her! It wasn't a thing she could just take for granted when it so obviously wasn't true! Maple had been captured by the Defense Force their very first night in Ironridge, and it had been up to Starlight to stow away and save her. She couldn't just assume her friends wouldn't be targeted by angry packs of mercenaries, or be away from the airship when its power ran out, or... be foalnapped by windigoes.

Starlight felt her eyes grow wet. Her stupid conscience or whatever was wrong. It was right about what she wanted, which was the promise that she'd never, ever lose her friends again, but that wasn't an issue of trust. The world was untrustworthy. She'd seen it time and time again. And if something was untrustworthy, you'd just get hurt for letting your guard down. She had to do more... This trip was yet another reminder; one of her friends had been taken and she wasn't even there to do anything about it and it could have been Maple and...

There was no answer. What she wanted was to not need to be concerned about this! But the only way to ensure her friends were safe and she wouldn't lose again was to do it herself, and that meant being stronger, keeping constant watch for any and all threats, looking after them to the best of her ability and making sure her best was always good enough... and she wanted to not need to do that. Why couldn't she have both? Why couldn't she have a guarantee of keeping her friends while not needing to make it happen by-

Thud.

Starlight's ears lifted at the noise on the deck behind her, and she half-expected to see her reflection again when she looked up. Instead, it was Valey.

"Heya," Valey greeted, shakily folding her wings and looking like her forelegs could give out at any moment, her hat stuffed into the saddlebags at her sides. "Wow, you look kinda upset. I'd totally stay to talk it over if you want, but I probably gotta let everyone know I'm back first. Do you have any food?"

Comments

[ZanyZapper]

Oh cool, she made it back already! I expected something to happen to sidetrack / delay either Valey or the ship. Or both.

Now just have to find out how Shinespark is doing.

[sploopy slooder]

well......that was fast.