The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Speak For Yourself

Maple and Starlight sat for a long time, and didn't speak. The weather was neither warm nor cold, but Starlight still enjoyed the presence at her side... it was more than a convenience. Maple's words kept bouncing around in her head, and even as miles upon miles of wilderness and secluded homesteads rolled past the gentle bobbing of the Dream's deck, she didn't pay the visuals a drop of her attention.

What if they did stop? They had met by incredible chance, just like Maple had said; Starlight could look back and think up any number of times she had nearly died during her trek over the mountains. In the endless caves, her horn taxed to its limit merely from providing light, her rope missing and her supplies strained... Scavenging for food, trusting the berries she found to be edible and not poisonous... The sudden rainstorm, catching her without shelter and threatening to freeze her to death. She had been sick in a cave for a week or more, recovering after that. Building a poorly-crafted boat, falling down the waterfall, and for all her effort and luck she could have drifted right on past Riverfall while unconscious and freezing if nobody had been there to see her... but here she was. They had met.

Again, what if they stopped? Maple had imagined getting off the boat, leaving and starting a life in the middle of nowhere where none of their troubles in the world could find them. The lives they were passing on the riverbank looked happy enough. Plenty of ponies and griffons found fulfillment in an existence like that. They could get off. Between her horn and Maple's cutie mark, they had enough magic to do useful things and get by. Gerardo's steering wasn't perfect, and sometimes the riverbank was a running leap away. They could do it. They really could. But... she knew they weren't going to, and that was the end of that.

Starlight sighed. There she was, with the pony who cared about her most, being borne westward because that was what they were doing. Valey was out there, and the plan, as flimsy as it sounded to her, was for her to act as a beacon for Valey's unusual abilities so once Shinespark caught up with her, the windigo could be dealt with and Valey could track them for a rendezvous. Maybe it was an okay plan. She knew she was along for the ride. What couldn't settle in her mind was why.

Why did she even do anything? It wasn't a question of whether there was a reason; she had thrown everything she had and more at the mountains, and at saving Ironridge from the windigoes. She had talked Valey into fighting Herman, even, by going to do it herself first. It was like there was a flame inside her that wouldn't quit, the same thing that let her consider a lifetime spent doing nothing and existing with her mother in the middle of nowhere yet made it impossible for her to accept that as reality. She was sailing to help her friends, or to help her friends' friends, and there wasn't any question about it: even if she had been given a perfect opportunity to stay in Izvaldi, even if her friends had stayed behind there, westward she would have gone.

She stared at her forehooves, and at the still-new wooden deck beneath them. The grain of wood ran along the length of the ship, and her eyes traced it until she was looking at the horizon that was their destination. She had left Equestria. Left Riverfall. Left Ironridge and Stormhoof and Izvaldi, and wherever they went next, she doubted she'd stay there either. She couldn't rest, had everything she thought she wanted sitting patiently at her side... and her hooves still tingled with an unspent energy that she had no idea what to do with.

She had been content before Sunburst left, right? What had she done with herself then? Enjoyed reading books, used her magic to make little crystal trinkets that never lasted until the next morning, spent time with her friend. Wandered around her town, as small and enclosed as it had been. Played with her toys. When was the last time she had played with something, even? Had that one event really changed her that much? What had she even had then that she didn't have now?

Another memory floated into her mind, of her in the crystal palace beneath Ironridge after the city had been saved. Of the harmonic flame there reaching out and talking to her, asking how it could help her because it didn't know either what she needed. She couldn't remember the exact conversation, or anything more than its general direction, but... even an ancient magical thing like that couldn't figure her out. She was completely at a loss, and closed her eyes, wondering if the darkness would help her answer a question she didn't even know how to formulate.

"Your problem is that you don't know how to trust anyone."

"Aah!" Starlight jumped up at the sound of her own voice. The fuzzy side she had been sitting against, she suddenly realized, wasn't Maple's, but her own.

Starlight stared back at herself, reflected in her own eyes, a perfect copy mirrored across from her on the deck. She lifted a hoof. "What...? But Maple was..."

The other Starlight shrugged. "She left while you weren't paying attention. Or maybe you've been asleep for a while now, and you're dreaming. Or you've lost it and are hallucinating. How should I know? I'm just an aspect of your own mind, aren't I?"

"I'm... talking to myself?" Starlight made a confused face.

"It looks like it to you," the other Starlight said. "Sorry if any of that sounded condescending, by the way. You just seemed like you could use someone to talk to, and figured your own mind would have to do."

Starlight patted the ship's deck around her, but it seemed to be solid and moving, and she didn't have any trouble focusing on the landscape drifting past. "I'm going insane, aren't I?"

"If you want to look at it as a bad thing." The other Starlight shrugged again. "So? What's got you worried? Articulate it. You're fortunate enough already to care about yourself and have a conscience that wants to help. Some people attack and tear themselves down for sad reasons, but maybe you can work something out."

"T-This is weird," Starlight managed. "I've had enough experiences with weird magic not to trust you. If you really want to help, prove it and let me wake up!"

The other Starlight shrugged. Her horn pulsed teal, and she vanished in a spark of teleportation.

For a second, Starlight sat blinking, rubbing her eyes. Had she been sleeping? She really couldn't tell, though the corners of her eyes did feel slightly crusted... She was alone on the deck. With a sigh, she went back to gazing at the passing landscapes, realizing the sun was much further along in the sky than she remembered it and wondering if she should go back inside.

Comments

[alamais]

:thonk:

[Thunder twister]

That's it people, the best ship is now starlight x starlight 2

Don't lie to yourselves you know it's true

[Venlinelle]

"Aah!" Starlight jumped up at the sound of her own voice. The fuzzy side she had been sitting against, she suddenly realized, wasn't Maple's, but her own.

Well, at least Starlight’s mind is trying to help her.

Reread edit:

Why did she even do anything? It wasn't a question of whether there was a reason; she had thrown everything she had and more at the mountains, and at saving Ironridge from the windigoes. She had talked Valey into fighting Herman, even, by going to do it herself first. It was like there was a flame inside her that wouldn't quit, the same thing that let her consider a lifetime spent doing nothing and existing with her mother in the middle of nowhere yet made it impossible for her to accept that as reality.

I can hear you laughing in the distance. "A flame inside her" indeed.

It's very fitting that Glimmer shows up right when Starlight is wondering about why she can't settle down, and I assume it's intentional on part of... whoever it is that Glimmer works for again. "Okay she's too close to figuring it out, send in the weird robot creation and have her improvise for a few months."