The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Saddled With Old Refuse

"...And finally, you need a shower," Fishy finished, offering a hoof to help Silver Saddle out of the trash bin. "Preferably not taken with someone else, but that ain't my call. No hard feelings?"

The disgraced pegasus guard was an utter mess. Her mane couldn't be more disheveled from stress, but even still, she made an effort to fix it, ignoring the hoof and climbing out of the bin herself. "Mayor," she said, managing to keep a modicum of refinement in her voice, "I trust you've been amused, but please remember this was on you if there ever comes a crisis in which the military needs the trust of the populace and we are unable to prevent casualties because no one takes us seriously."

Fishy shrugged, lowering her hoof. "That's the problem I'm trying to solve. If you did have the respect of the public, someone in this crowd would have stopped me. But you currently don't, and I'm not changing that so much as making it more obvious. If you really care about doing the job our town provides for you to do with food and lodging, then let this be a wake-up call. You've had your adjustment period. Now turn over a new leaf and work for yourself to improve your reputation."

The crowd, suddenly awkward, started to disperse, its ponies challenging each other to leave as quickly as possible without looking like they were in a hurry.

"Okay," Valey muttered under her breath to Maple and Gerardo, "I love a good dunking, and I know I was the one who put her in there, but does it feel kinda weird to anyone else that I got away with that? I basically assaulted a public official, and no one cares. Feels like I stepped on some tension between the town's leadership and these foreign guards..."

"What did she do to you?" Maple whispered back. "This seems like a you thing to do, but only when you have a reason..."

Valey shrugged. "Well, I went in to talk with who I think is her boss, and he was like, 'Hey, go rouse my lazy associate!' And I was like, 'Sure!' So I went upstairs, found her snoozing, and I guess she didn't like being woken up because she started flirting real passive-aggressively and kinda dared me to show her who was boss. So I did."

"She has a superior that's not the mayor?" Gerardo glanced around. "That stallion who came to investigate our ship, I presume."

"Yeah, that guy." Valey scanned the empty street, with its manicured lawns and conspicuous lack of bystanders. "He was in the crowd for a while, but I guess he went back inside. Still, like... you know?"

"Perhaps discussing this incident with someone would be beneficial," Gerardo agreed.

That was when Fishy came trotting up. "Whew," she said, brushing back her bangs and then regarding Valey oddly. "Thanks for the opportunity. I've been meaning to do something about her for a while. But is this really standard conduct where you come from?"

"It is when I set the standard," Valey replied with a shrug. "And she was asking for it. But, like, uhh... I do what I want, but was what you just did really standard around here?"

Fishy frowned. "That's complicated."

"Could we ask how complicated?" Gerardo hopefully proposed. "If this is a delicate situation, we'd rather not tread on any feathers..."

"Well, there are feathers waiting to be trod on," Fishy sighed. "Short version is, we've only had this garrison for a few weeks, and there have been some questions about what they're doing here. It's by edict of the Princess, so as a public official, I have to acquiesce. But the only reason we have plenty in this town is because there are some ponies who try very hard to overcome our remote location. Our good lives here are built on a lot of hard work. So when someone else tells us we've got three extra bodies to house and three more mouths to feed, my ponies are at least going to want to know who they are and what they're doing."

Gerardo ruffled his feathers. "I see."

"I get it," Valey said, rolling her shoulders. "You've gotta convince everyone they're not freeloaders, which is pretty hard when that one is definitely a freeloader."

Fishy snorted. "That's the short of it. Best I can do is try to mold her into something not a freeloader that's good for more than an expensive date. Which I decided could use a little more hammering than chiseling. It's hard, though, because even if she was a model guard, how do you convince ponies we need guards around here? Even I'm not convinced. There's no crime in Sires Hollow, thanks to there being nowhere to run. The only one of them who's really met with acceptance hangs up his lance on weekdays and makes an honest living as a lumberjack, then clocks into the guardhouse on weekends and calls those his days off."

Maple hesitated, half-lifting a hoof. "If Starlight and I decided to stay, we wouldn't be seen as freeloaders, would we?"

"Nah." Fishy waved dismissively. "We've got no community contribution quota system. And if we did, raising kids would count. As long as you're not drawing a government salary, no one will look twice. When we had three payrolled full-time government employees counting myself before adding those two... that's what ponies notice."

"Yeah, you could totally make a living for yourself," Valey added, nudging Maple's shoulder. "Re-open your bakery here, you'd get cash to live on, would eat well and would get real popular."

Maple blinked. "You think me and Starlight should stay?"

"I dunno." Valey broadly shrugged. "That's your call. I'd miss you if you did, but all the more reason for me to make sure we see each other again soon. I'm just saying if you did, it could work."

"You're a baker?" Fishy asked, brightening and cutting in.

"Well..." Maple's cheeks lightened. "That's what I did as my day job before I started traveling. Nowadays I mostly just cook for my friends, but I could do it again."

Fishy offered a hoofbump. "Didn't hear anything from you when I mentioned I was a bakery alum! Well met!"

Maple awkwardly took it. "Thanks. That feels like so long ago, though... It's kind of funny to remember."

Valey blinked. "Is it? I mean, you cook for us all the time."

"No..." Maple shook her head. "I mean doing something ordinary for a living. I guess it just hasn't sunk in yet that whether I get off here or at the next stop, I'm finally going to return to that way of living."

Fishy chuckled. "Feels like I've been away from that grind forever, too. Being mayor is a lot of work too, but it's a much less consistent kind than rising at half past four to catch fish before heading in and spending the day tallying finances."

"You have no idea." Maple shook her head, smiling.

Around then, the door to the guardhouse opened again, and the one guard who always wore his armor stepped out. "Mayor Fillet." He nodded respectfully. "Might I have a word? The rest of you as well."

"Oh! Probably best to get this over with..." Fishy nodded, stretching and strolling inside. Valey, Maple and Gerardo followed, leaving only Fluffy and Starlight, who had been watching from the background.

---

The interior of the guardhouse looked exactly the same as it had before, only this time the noise of a running shower drifted out of the hallway, everyone able to see the edge of an aggressively-open bathroom door. The armored stallion ignored it completely, but Valey gave it a long look. "Bananas, that's bait, but I could start such a scene..."

"You've already done plenty," the guard replied, neither encouraging nor chastising. "I wanted to get back to our derailed conversation. But first, Mayor, was it really necessary to escalate that so?"

Fishy shrugged. "Someone had to. If we want this guard unit to work out in my town, it needs an ounce or two of authority that doesn't come from me. I'm elected, not a monarch. I can't tell these ponies what to think. And to be frank, you three are all responsible for each other. Should have worked with her harder on her behavior."

The guard looked chagrinned. "It's been a work in progress."

"Well, hope you can use that to shock some sense into her." Fishy shook her head. "Anyway, that answer your question?"

The guard sighed. "I had hoped this would be a slightly less-demanding assignment... But it is what it is. Back to business. Would someone fetch Silver Saddle and tell her we have a meeting?"

Valey gave him an incredulous look. "Wait a sec, are you trying to get her to derail this a second time? You and I both know what'll happen if any of us go in there."

Fishy banged a hoof. "Overruled. She can keep taking her shower. What's this meeting about, anyway?"

The guard gave Valey a look that very clearly asked if she wanted more ponies than need be to know where they were from. Valey instantly realized what he was doing, and decided she did.

"So here's the deal," Valey said, discarding her chance to back out and try to keep matters of the north under her hat. "We're from the north. Those mountains don't actually extend forever, and there's a whole bunch of continents beyond them. But they're enchanted super hard to make it impossible to fly across them, and our airship is unique and magical and lets us fly across anyway."

The guard's look would have given away that part of that wasn't true, but Fishy wasn't looking at him. "That explains a lot. And I already know about most of it. No one posts a garrison in my town without telling me the real reason why. That's where you're going next, isn't it?"

Gerardo nodded.

"...That's where Starlight must have gone to meet you." Fishy sat down, paling. "But no one knows there's anything up there. She just... tried to walk off the edge of..."

"Starlight is..." Maple hesitated, choosing her words carefully. "More resilient than most ponies. So she survived. And she's also been through a lot more than most ponies, which is why she did it in the first place."

"Don't you say that to me!" Fishy snapped. "I already told you how I was a bystander to all that! I spent months not knowing if she was fled or dead, and the day I find out she's still alive, you also say she wasn't intending to make it anywhere after leaving at all?"

Maple folded her ears. "The place she was trying to go was anywhere but here, even if that was an endless, inhospitable mountain range. I'm sorry, but this is who we are and what we're dealing with. I know it's not pretty, but it's what we've got."

As they talked, the guard gave Valey a look. "So much for not disrupting the meeting. I guessed as much already, but we still need to talk."

"Uhh... yeah." Valey abashedly got to her hooves. "Sorry about that. We can continue upstairs, or something?"

The guard shrugged. "Might as well... There's a back room over here."

He and Valey passed through the hall, where Valey noted Silver Saddle had forgone a shower curtain as well. Their eyes met for half a second before Valey gracefully nodded and closed the door. It probably wasn't the reaction the pegasus was fishing for.

Eventually, they stepped into a bedroom converted to an office, the lights out and Maple, Gerardo and Fishy left behind. The guard sat down and sighed.

"I, uhh... don't think I ever got your name?" Valey tried, looking to break the silence.

"Cardinal Foghorn," the stallion replied. "Cardinal's a name, not a title." He sighed again. "You're pretty impulsive, aren't you?"

Valey backpedaled. "First off, yeah. Second, I usually get away with it by being stronger than anyone who cares, but if it's making a mess, I'm real sorry. Third, there's nothing normal about my situation. I can't help who I am and know better than to try." She paused. "And you sent me up there in the first place. We cool?"

"Calm down." Cardinal Foghorn waved a hoof. "I'm a watchpony, not a prosecutor. I just wanted to get something squared away about your friends. Was hoping I could get more of us than just me in on this conversation, but it is what it is." He sighed, leaning on the desk. "That letter you have from the Princess... It doesn't make any mention of Starlight, and the ponies of this town all think she's a local. That means she's not a native of the north."

"We've got a Writ of Harmonic Sanction," Valey replied. "One spare. Just in case."

Foghorn nodded. "Good. Just wanted to be clear about that, since I thought the Princess would have mentioned something like this." He closed his eyes and sighed again. "We have a spell to detect whether one has been used on a pony. I hear you're considering leaving her here, and one pony staying with her? Using the same writ, I presume?"

"Right on the money." Valey shuffled, looking for a seat for herself. "Any reason that could potentially be a problem?"

Foghorn shook his head. "Not as long as you let us use that spell before you leave. Make sure everyone who's going or staying is clear to be where they are. That's all. Enjoy the rest of your stay."

"That's all? Cool." Valey relaxed, tipping her hat on her way out. "We're still chill, by the way?"

"I am." Foghorn shrugged, bending over and rooting around in the desk before coming up with a bottle and glass and pouring himself a drink. "Though I'd make up with Silver Saddle, if I were you. Don't know how long you're staying, but she's a lot nicer once you get to know her."

Valey chuckled, wandering off. "Yeah, after throwing her in a dumpster, I'll eat my hat if that's an easy feat."

Comments

[Phoenix Kitten]

Say, wasn't that old friend of Starlight's with them? Would she be privy to this?

12.

[Sky_Shield]

10075889

"Oh! Probably best to get this over with..." Fishy nodded, stretching and strolling inside. Valey, Maple and Gerardo followed, leaving only Fluffy and Starlight, who had been watching from the background.

Sounds like they stayed outside, since there was also no mention of them in the next scene.

[Oberth Effect]

But the only reason we have plenty in this town is because there are some ponies who try very hard to overcome our remote location.

This place is sounding more and more like Riverfall. Hopefully things don’t end like it could have in Riverfall, with a small mob effectively chasing them out of town. Wouldn’t be too surprised if Silver Saddle did that to try to get back at Valey, although that is probably a bit on the extreme side.

Curious what part of Valey’s explanation Fishy didn’t know, too.

Is “Cardinal Foghorn” based on something? It seems rather unique.

[Oberth Effect]

10076493