The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Just Valey Being Valey

"Touring the dining facilities does sound agreeable," Gerardo Guillaume said, Ebb at his side along with a small cohort of ponies. His strategy for managing the attention was simple: never stop walking, and only the ones who really cared wouldn't get tired and go do something else. "I've been on the road more than enough to know how to make do with shallow means, but feasting on the fruits of civilization at the end will never lose its appeal. Shall we?"

"It's right over here," Ebb beckoned, holding his best air of utmost coolness as he waved Gerardo after him. Beneath it, it was clear he was still giddy.

Most of the other students could say the same. "We can join you, right?" an earth pony asked, showing off his ability to keep a kicking sack in the air as he walked. "I want to see for myself what kind of feast a champion can devour."

"The last time someone came here from beyond the Aldenfold," a mare remarked, "they said he beat the head of house Loyalty and two seconds in a cheese-stuffed mushroom-eating contest. Which, completely coincidentally, are my favorite food, but that was before my time, so what do I know? Show us how it's done!"

Gerardo chuckled good-naturedly. "Interested in how much I can put away? I can't say I've ever been invited to an eating contest before, but what kind of adventurer am I to deny my friends?"

"This is going to be so great..." a stallion giggled to himself, the group stepping into the hall.

Immediately, a sight caught Gerardo's eyes. "I say, there's quite a crowd over in that corner..."

Ebb whistled and blew on his bangs. "That's by the Laughter tables, alright. Which is us. What do you want to bet Flow got mobbed after beating us here?"

One of the mares with him immediately perked. "There's more!?"

"Well, I certainly didn't come here friendless," Gerardo assured, stepping forward and leading his cohort. "Though I can see you're all most excitable..."

He pushed his way through the crowd, apologizing and using his wings to parse the ponies, none of whom even seemed to notice him. In the center, laying on a table she had all to herself, Valey was making a show of eating grapes, upside-down and talking nonstop.

"And then I said, 'Yeah, but have you ever really smelled a yak's armpit?' And let me tell you-" She blinked and looked up. "Oh, hey, Birdo! Been having fun getting mobbed?"

All the student's eyes immediately shifted. "This isn't one of your friends, is it?" a mare gasped.

Valey gave Gerardo a now-you're-in-for-it wink.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Gerardo proudly said, stepping forward and pushing back an admirer or two who got too close with his wings. He seated himself on the bench beside Valey and leaned on the table. "Gerardo Guillaume, griffon adventurer extraordinaire. This looks like the place to be for happenings."

"Is Flow around?" Ebb asked, lifting a hoof. "I notice you found our tables, so if she is, I probably need to..."

A mare shoved him. "Shh! She's not into you!"

Valey chuckled and sat up, pointing a hoof at the mare who had spoken. "Oh, are we going to start this again? Flow's outside, by the way."

The mare looked suddenly nervous and backed down.

Gerardo's eyes shifted. "So what exactly is transpiring here? If there's food for the taking, I have a promise to my fans to uphold..."

"Long story short?" Valey shrugged. "Everyone was feeling pushy, so I told them the best way to win my favor was through a belching contest. With each other, not me. Hooo boy that got out of hoof, but it schooled them pretty good. Now I'm permitting them to watch me eat."

Gerardo's jaw hung slightly.

"And I'm the champion!" a stallion with a big jaw shouted near the front.

"She's toying with all of you," another huffed. "Making you look ridiculous. What she wants is for you to see through the games!"

"I like getting toyed with..."

Valey winked at Gerardo. "Yep. Apparently it's a thing. I really have no idea what I'm doing, but the food's good and I'm digging being popular."

"Speaking of food." Gerardo cleared his throat and gathered his wits. "I'm rather famished, and did make a promise-"

A clock tower tolled.

Immediately, the tight mass of students deflated, a collective sigh of disappointment running through them. Valey immediately sat up as they began draining dejectedly away. "Wait, what? Where are you all going?"

"Lunch is over!" the belching champ complained, throwing a mournful look back at Valey. "Don't forget me! Because I won't forget you!"

"Wait no wait hold up!" Valey scrambled to her hooves, jumping off the table and landing in front of the students. "Bananas, I thought I had more time to prepare for this..."

The belching champ blinked, Valey standing right before him. "Say wha...?"

"Buddy..." Valey leaned in with a tender, affectionate smile. "You rocked that competition. And sounded ridiculous, but still. I've got something real special to say to you... as a reward."

The champ waited with baited breath, his pupils quivering. The rest of the crowd seemed to deflate a little. The champ offered his lips. A sly grin was the only warning he would receive.

"I'm only into mares," Valey said all at once, grabbing a mare at his side by the shoulders and staring deep into her eyes.

Half the room's collective hearts broke. Valey held her grin, holding the flabbergasted, starstruck mare exactly long enough for what just happened to sink in... and then set her back down, patting her on the head. "And I'm also taken."

The other half of the room's hearts shattered, the mare Valey had dropped slumping against the ground with pinprick eyes, looking utterly shellshocked.

"...But I don't say no to consolation prizes." Valey waited again before darting in, giving her a lightning-speed peck on the cheek so bare any observers would be questioning if it had just been a dream. Immediately she vanished into the shadows, her laughter echoing around the emptying hall. "Nyahahahahaha! Catch me if you can!"

The students started trotting away, looking at each other and picking up their paces as if in an unspoken competition to get somewhere quickly without looking like they wanted it.

Within seconds, the area was clear, save for Gerardo, his gang, and the kissed mare, who had fainted. "That," Ebb said, eyes wide as saucers, "was the most savage thing I've ever seen."

"You think?" Valey rose out of the shadows behind him, all the remaining students jumping slightly. "Trust me, that's just going to make them try even harder. If everyone here likes competition this badly, bananas, they're gonna get what they asked for." She glanced apologetically at the body on the floor. "Think I overdid it just a little, though?"

"Honestly, I don't know what I expected," a new voice said, a sharply-dressed stallion strolling over, looking slightly older than the other students. "Ebb, find some water to wake Monkey Penney. Everyone else, run along now. You wouldn't want to be late for class."

Valey blinked hard. "Monkey Penney? What kind of a name is that?"

The stallion shrugged. "One you're given when your father is a biologist and your mother an accountant. I could ask just as much about a one-word name related to no object at all like Valey. But the answer is culture clash, I assure you." He held out a hoof and smiled. "Nautilus Shell, student government leader of house Laughter. Nautilus is fine, but don't call me Naughty. The first-years think it's hilarious."

Valey bumped it. "Seems cool enough."

"Can I offer you lunch?" Nautilus offered. "Or tea, if you've had your fill? We have a lounge that's slightly more private..."

"That," Gerardo said, "sounds like a very tempting offer."

Comments

[KMCA]

9941330
You're not making your case with a chapter called "final interlude"

[Phoenix Kitten]

Her name's Valey, she's a heart breaker.
Hehe, that was amazing.

[KMCA]

Ok, she keeps this up and ponies are going to be feeding her peeled grapes.

[Phoenix Kitten]

9941387
Twilight asked for no spoilers.

[Oberth Effect]

"And then I said, 'Yeah, but have you ever really smelled a yak's armpit?' And let me tell you-"

This sounds like an interesting story.

"One you're given when your father is a biologist and your mother an accountant. I could ask just as much about a one-word name related to no object at all like Valey.

Speaking of which, is it pronounced "valley" or "vaaley" with a long "a"?

It's good seeing Valey be her old goofy self.

Also, it’s “bated breath”

9941625

Which is true, but that means that the interludes don't do that much for world building IMO.

[sploopy slooder]

the silliness of these chapters is a fun break from all of the heart crushing sadness, but im not very interested in seeing the crew pal around with a bunch of normal ass schoolkids.