The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Annoying Bottle Griffons

"Grrr..." Valey hauled herself more upright in the fountain, water streaming from her mane and fur. "Whatever it is, I'm not interested. Leave me alone, Kero."

Kero tilted his head so far sideways it was vertical, blinking once and giving her an avian stare. "I have no idea what kind of business you're indulging yourself in," he tweeted, "though it does look very fanciful. Unfortunately for you, it is my business for you to be hearing what I have to say! Regrettably regrettable. You are listening?"

"Bananas...!" Valey punched the inside of the fountain, sending water sloshing over the rim. "Could you at least not talk like that? Look, I remember that will you left in Ironridge. It was all immaculate and broody and not... Like, I know you know how words work!"

Kero gave her a blank look, then blinked once more. "Mmmmmmmmm! I see."

Valey splashed a moment longer, standing up and glaring. "In case you forgot, you ordered your mercenary dudes to kill me, yeah? That was them I was beating up in the tunnels? And then you bailed the moment I got away and left them stranded in Ironridge? Maybe? Remember that a little...?"

"What kind of point would you like to be making?" Kero chirped, very clueless.

"I... gahhh..." Valey applied a sopping hoof to her face and groaned.

"I have a warning for you," Kero informed her, sounding ridiculously proud of himself. "I am thinking you'll like to hear it. Somewhere more private we should be going, no?"

"Look, buddy, I was in this fountain for a reason..."

Kero waggled a talon, his stupidly prim bowtie fluttering in the breeze. "This fountain will still be being here when you return! But my business is taking too long already. Please hurry yourself along, now now."

Valey gave him an evil look, finally realizing a cause worth getting out of the fountain. Carefully, she hauled herself over the rim, pouring more water than a faucet, coat completely slicked down... and lowered her head and shook as hard as she could, emptying what felt like gallons into Kero's suit and face. The bird squawked in dismay, shielding himself with a wing, and Valey bared her teeth in a grin when she was done.

"Yeah, you like that?" She finished by blowing a raspberry. "Alright. Get on with your business. But I'm in a really bad mood with a lot of unspent aggression, so you better not remind me of the time you tried to kill me."

Kero shook himself in return, but it was utterly futile. "Anywhere in private will do," he mumbled, crest drooping as he trundled away.

Valey followed him out of the plaza and around a corner, ending on a windowless strip of concrete behind the hospital before the hill fell away in a grassy slope. "Here ought to do. Mmm, yes, it ought to do nicely," Kero sang to himself, spinning in circles three times and fixing Valey with his eyes. "Admiral Valey of Ironridge."

His gaze was returned with a glare. "Make this quick," Valey demanded.

"My mercenary company," Kero quietly told her, speaking in hushed tones, "has returned to my service from Ironridge."

"Wait, they're..." Valey furrowed her brow, leaning in and lowering her voice as well. "Here?"

"In Izvaldi? Oh no, they're already out on an assignment. Very important business." Kero mumbled something else about business to himself, clicking his beak. "Very very important, mmm yes."

Valey waited for the other boot to drop, but it didn't come. "Business about hunting me again?"

"That is not what they are doing," Kero rebuked as airily as ever. "I work... for Chauncey. They are on a mission from him, north of Gyre and Wilderwind. Their doings are being done in Mistvale."

Valey raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What of it?"

For a moment, Kero watched her... then hung his head. "Chauncey is blackmailing me," he apologized, the first tone of legitimate emotion aside from confusion, excitement and surprise entering his voice. "I have a loved one. You know how it is."

Valey frowned a moment longer. "That's rough, buddy."

"It is why I must carry out tasks even I do not want anywhere near my business," Kero continued, hanging his head profusely. "Such as disseminating obsidian to the mothers of my company's Ironridge foals, or seeking after your capture."

"Wait a second, Chauncey ordered you to hunt-" Valey's eyes widened in shock.

"Very fortunately that needn't be our business," Kero wheedled, realizing he had made a mistake and trying to change the subject. "You see, my company is presently-"

"Bananas it's none of my business!" Valey grabbed his collar before he could move and slammed him against the ground on his back, dripping water on his suit and face. "How did he know about me, what did he know about me, and why did he want me gone!?"

Kero squirmed. "H-Help! Mercy!"

"Uh huh. Like the mercy you showed me?" Valey forced him to meet her eyes, hard and cold and reflecting memories of a life-and-death struggle in the Flame District tunnels. "Or the mercy you showed your mercenaries when you left them to mine? Tell me!"

"H-He didn't... specify you... specifically..." Kero gurgled under the pressure on his throat, and Valey slackened off enough that he could talk. "It was your brand. All throughout our travels, we've been instructed to keep an eye out for a pony whose brand could see the future. We were told it would be a child, someone reconstituted using obsidian during pregnancy..."

Valey's eyes widened more. "What!?"

"I-I don't know why! Please!" Kero squirmed. "Or how Chauncey knew to expect something like that! I still don't know if you're what he wanted, or if we were off the mark entirely since you are a sarosian and not a foal from obsidian!"

"So you mean... that nutcase was searching moon glass for..." Valey bared her teeth. "Those answers aren't good enough!"

Kero stared unblinkingly at her in terror. "I am telling you, I do not know how or why! I observed you for years between visits to Ironridge, not wanting to admit it was true since it would mean my mercenaries needed to defeat you! I only moved because Ironridge was changing and you could die or leave and it would be too late..."

"Yeah? But what's so special about this picture on my butt?" Valey snarled. "So you know what it does. Big whoop, I can predict attacks before my enemies make them. What's it to him?"

"I am not knowing!" Kero whimpered. "I cannot know what Chauncey is thinking, only what he asks! This is why I tried to come and warn you..."

Valey took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and stood up, ready to pounce again the moment Kero bolted. "What. Are you warning me of?"

Kero trembled for a minute before speaking. "Have you ever heard the tragedy of Monk Lord Yanavan?"

"Pretend I haven't and enlighten me."

"It was an incident in Mistvale several decades ago. Terrible business," Kero lamented. "One of the highest monks in the land turned traitor and attacked the Night Mother's most sacred council, unprovoked and without warning. He stole a set of powers known as the Nightmare Modules they were tasked with guarding before being somehow sealed away. Chauncey had some experiment he was using to try to extract or rediscover Nightmare Modules on his own, but seems to have lost a key component to running it. But he wants these powers, and has tasked me with the sending of my group to discover this Yanavan and bring him back to Izvaldi."

Valey chewed her lip. "Okay, that's pretty suspicious, but it's really just making me care for neither of you, which is how things were in the first place. Why do I care?"

"I do not like Chauncey," Kero mourned. "But I cannot raise a wing against him directly. I am telling you this in the hope you will beat my mercenaries to discovering the resting place of Yanavan and take these powers for yourselves, placing them further out of Chauncey's reach. This is my warning to you."

Valey scrutinized him heavily... and sighed. "Well, that stinks. And your dudes can actually find some scary traitor who's been sealed away for decades?"

Kero weakly shrugged. "Do not be underestimating the resourcefulness of my mercenaries. It is bad for business."

"...Yeah, I'm gonna need to talk with my friends about a whole bunch of everything. You." Valey jabbed a hoof into Kero's chest, earning a wince. "Stop being shady. Go, like, buy a farm or something, and leave everyone alone."

"Y-You're sparing me?" Kero meekly whispered.

"Killing dudes isn't my style," Valey replied, turning and walking away. "After all, I let your mooks off the hook too, once. Please don't make me regret trying it again."

Comments

[Mini-Joe]

yore name: valey pone. ur mission: locate donuvan, become the strong

[Boopers]

I don't trust that guy one bit

[Zapdroid]

A sketchy quest in a mysterious new land to find an ancient traitorous monk who has been sealed away and possesses unfathomable powers? Sign me up!

[Quinch]

Kero trembled for a minute before speaking. "Have you ever heard the tragedy of Monk Lord Yanavan?"

What you did there. I see it.

[ciradrak]

11276030
i kind of wish ponies listed out all the clever references somewhere. if for no more reason than to keep a record of them all. for Yanavan all i can think of is Yanagawn from the Stormlight Archive… that doesn’t seem like much of a match though…

[sploopy slooder]

this is getting ridiculous. she keeps letting people walk all over her, then lets them go to keep on doing it.