The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

You're Very, Very Cool

Valey stood on the ship's deck once again, wanting to be anywhere but the stuffy bridge. Gazelle was there, and though he was quiet as a stone when not urging anyone to look for Lyn, no one was comforted by his presence. She had stayed long enough to hear some coordinates in a system she didn't understand and a promise of a rescue ship the following afternoon, which didn't make much sense unless the Equestrians had extremely fast boats... but she wouldn't put it past them.

Something else was bothering her, and she couldn't put her hoof on it. It wasn't how Jamjars had done something stupid without asking yet again, though she wasn't sure how anyone planned to explain to Gazelle there was nothing more a university could do to bring back his sister than they could. It wasn't Gazelle himself and his eerie black cutie mark, though he certainly wasn't helping. Something about the Equestrian guards. That was close...

After some time of musing, she heard hoofsteps shuffling behind her, and turned to see a pegasus who looked like he needed air as well. "You're one of the dudes from the bridge?" she guessed, going by the look on his face. These pegasi were worse about looking uniform than the Defense Force.

"Hmph," he sighed, sitting and staring out to sea.

Valey raised an eyebrow and got no response.

"Good day so far?" Valey prodded. "We're finally getting somewhere."

"Not a good day," the guard grunted. "Do you mind...?"

Valey frowned. "Excuse me, are you moping? Because yeah, I do mind. We've got way too much of that on this ship already and now we're getting out of here. Why not celebrate or something?"

"We made contact with Kinmari, yes," the guard sighed. "No thanks to me. You might not understand the importance of our oath to our princess and country, but we all failed and then failed again to check each other's failures. I don't know what came over me, but it's made this the lowest day of my career."

"See?" Valey pointed a restrained hoof. "That's what's bothering me. Sure, it might have been a little embarrassing, but you went up against a trickster and got what you wanted. And you're only looking on the dark side. It's like everyone's incapable of not being gloomy around here."

The guard's face tensed, and he looked away. "You could never understand. I had no history with that griffon. The most I had read was a mission briefing. And in the moment, I forgot every part of my mission and let pride carry me away. I-"

"Oh, shut up!" Valey flapped her wings for emphasis. "Sure, Sparky had to slap some sense into you, but you got through to the dude, didn't you? And even sort of made up? Mistakes happen, and this one cost you a whole lot less than some of the ones my friends and I have been through. Didn't this guard training you feel like you betrayed also have some unit about rolling with your mistakes, leaving them in the past and trying to recover from a bad situation? Because it's what I'd put in any serious curriculum I was making."

She didn't stop to watch his reaction, stalking away into the ship. That guard had pinpointed exactly what was bothering her: rather than being pleased that they were now being rescued, all the pegasi on the bridge had been upset with themselves. And sure, maybe they had violated some personal code or made an intense moral failure, but couldn't they buck up just a little while she was trying to prevent the ship from wallowing? If everyone had been down or else just hanging on before they turned around, after the brood beast died everything had been-

"Oh!" Felicity narrowly jumped out of her way, stumbling against a wall. "So sorry, darling, I didn't see you there...!"

Valey blinked, focusing. "Oh, hey, Longhair." She offered a hoof to help Felicity up, sizing up the mare. "Quick sanity check, off the top of your head: what's the last nice or cool thing you've done that you felt really good about?"

Felicity tilted her head and fluttered her eyelashes. "I beg your pardon? I mean, I-I wasn't expecting to be tested so brazenly, and I don't have the stamina to put work in like some of the rest of us, you have to understand-"

"Nope. No, no." Valey held out a wing, stopping her. "Not a test, not about what you've done for me or anyone else. I'm asking what you've done recently that you feel good about."

Felicity's face scrunched. "I'm... flattered that you care, but why?"

Valey huffed. "So we made contact with that university place and are apparently getting rescued tomorrow. Cool, right?"

"I'm afraid I don't follow..."

"And all the guards who were present are moping like it's the worst thing ever," Valey finished. "Maybe they've got their reasons. I don't care. We're a million steps closer to not being stranded anymore and they don't care. So tell me they're just being weird and you can remember the neat stuff you've done, because I am tired of everyone being miserable around here."

Felicity worked her jaw. "I... Darling, I owe you so much, and am so far from being in a position to brag-"

"I literally don't care," Valey insisted, grabbing her shoulders. "I'm asking you because you're the first random pony I ran into: I'm tired of hearing everyone being depressing when I'm alive and we're not dying and we're getting to go to a place that's not ran by despots. I already know what you've been up to while I was gone, I talked to Harshwater. Tell me you can feel good about the stuff you have to feel good about."

"I..." Felicity swallowed.

Valey tapped a hoof.

"I'm sorry," Felicity sighed, hanging her head. "I know what you're talking about. Yes, I did spend night and day as a doctor-on-call for your friends, I did push my body to its limit trying to help and go scouting, I really did everything I could..."

"Yes! Exactly!" Valey clapped her on the back. "See? You've done some cool stuff. Now tell me thinking about it makes you happy and those guards are just being losers."

Felicity closed her eyes and exhaled. "It's a drop in the bucket, darling. I still have a long way to go to make amends. But if this is something you're saying will help..." She smiled.

"Thanks, girl. I owe you a better thank you, and a talk. Once we get out of here. Didn't quite have the full story when I asked if you wanted to stay earlier..."

"Hah." Felicity sniffled.

Valey frowned. "And I've got a suspicion that smile's not genuine, but thanks for trying, too."

Felicity instantly winced. "When you've lived the type of life I have, you tend to find there's not much of a difference, darling. My emotions follow where I will them."

"Mhm." Valey got up and nodded, entirely unconvinced. "Anyway, I gotta wander. See ya."

---

The next pony Valey ran into was Shinespark, but this time she was looking for her. "Yo. Sparky."

"Hm?" Shinespark tilted her ears without looking up.

"Quick sanity check," Valey began, hovering. "Tell me the last cool thing you did, or the last thing you feel really good about doing."

Shinespark turned around to face her, an eyebrow raised. "I told you what I spent the weeks you were gone doing."

"Naaah. Wrong answer." Valey flicked a hoof. "Try again."

Shinespark stared at her in confusion.

"Bananas, not you too!" Valey grabbed her face and groaned, then hovered right in front of Shinespark's. "You just owned those squabbling guards and got them to get us a way out of here! Tell me that's cool! Tell me you're proud of yourself for getting me somewhere I want all of us to go because you care about me and what I want and that's supposed to make you happy!"

"Sit." Shinespark grabbed Valey's tail, forcing her down. "You look frustrated."

"You think?" Valey thumped her head back into a wall. "Please just tell me you're proud of yourself. And don't say it just to make me happy."

"I'm not feeling proud, Valey." Shinespark shook her head. "I'm not feeling a whole lot of anything right now. I'm on my hooves and doing everything I can to help you get our friends and ourselves to safety, and this is the price I pay. I'll have time for my own feelings after they're safe."

Valey raised an eyebrow. "Even for giving yourself a pat on the back because we're this much closer to getting them safe? Because of you?"

"What's wrong?" Shinespark asked.

"Fine..." Valey groaned. "Bananas, I think this ship's atmosphere is contagious. We're supposed to be thrilled that we're actually no longer stranded! But the guards are moping about their oaths, Felicity feels like she owes me, you're... doing this... Nobody here is even capable of being in a good mood anymore! We've done so much cool stuff to survive, and it's like we can't even look at it or acknowledge our own contributions."

She flopped back against the wall. "I'm so sick of this. It's like our crew is contagious. I just wanna see everyone be happy. And I've got a plan for that, but why wait for a plan if we can't be happy about the stuff we have to celebrate now!? And who says the plan will even work if we can't do this, anyway? Maybe our ship's cursed. Those guards are like-"

"The Immortal Dream is not cursed," Shinespark growled. "If it is... it's my curse, building it for a dream it might take decades to complete, if ever." She sighed. "So what about you? Leading by example? What are you happy about?"

Valey waved a hoof. "Already thought it over. I'm not dead. I smashed those beasts. Saved your rears. Got to see some glimmers of hope in your eyes after beating a fate worse than death. And for a while, I was thrilled. I felt it. I was so happy, and you saw me."

She rolled over. "And now? Bananas, it feels exactly the same as it did in the Empire. Yeah, we've got our lives and our friendships and everything else, but if we could just get rid of this one last problem that's in the way of us enjoying our lives... You know? I know what I've done. I know I'm cool, and I'm not about to let go of that and start feeling like a weapon or a monster again. I won't. But it feels like there's a blanket between that feeling and my heart. I just wanna see you guys happy too, and enjoy being alive with you. And instead it feels like we're sinking, even though we're closer to wherever we're going next than we've ever been before."

Shinespark put a hoof around her shoulders. "I want to see that too. Whatever is in our way, wherever we have to go... I promise I'll survive long enough to see that day with you when it comes, Valey."

"Hah. Love you too, Sparky."

Comments

[Phoenix Kitten]

They need something big to counter the lingering feelings of the escape from the north.

[cosmofur]

Ok I think this is deeper than just bad moods. Do we have another emotiovor hanging around? Something that thrives on bad feelings? A sort of reverse changeling?

[Phoenix Kitten]

9927498
...hey, remember what Felicity's Cutie mark does?
It can intensify or dull emotional responses. She could be unconsciously intensifying the emotions of the entire ship.

[Oberth Effect]

9927531

I’m sure Valey is going to like that, even if it is unintentional. Does anyone besides Valey know how to recognize the effects of that mark anyways? Or can it be used subtly enough for Valey to not notice?

Hopefully this doesn’t follow the crew to the submarine. Bad feelings in a very enclosed space can get out of hand quickly, especially if Gunther and other griffons join.

[Hap]

I'm concerned that Valey isn't actually back. It's her shell, sure. Even her knowledge, personality, and emotions. But she's still a changeling. She's unwittingly feeding on everyone and leaving only the bad emotions.

[Alchemik]

....what do you think you're doing, Felicity? How is this helping? Who is this helping?

Either that or Hap's theory here, that's an option.