The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

Giving Up Is Optional

"Your friends aren't fine," Glimmer said, pacing up to Starlight in the forward observation room in the hours after Grenada had returned and started her work.

Starlight grunted in agreement. "I'm going with Howe, Harshwater and Felicity to the old ship tonight so we can prepare for the griffons. I know they're not fine, but I'm trying my best to help."

Glimmer seated herself at the edge of the room, its view ruined by having landed at the bottom of a valley. "No, you aren't."

Starlight aggressively folded her ears. "Aren't trying my best? I thought that's what you wanted." She glared at the sword hovering before her. "For me to sit down and give up even when there's more I can do because it's important to let go of your friends, or something. So why aren't you happy?"

Glimmer swallowed. "Because you're not happy either."

"You expect me to be?" Starlight waved a hoof at the window, half of it blocked by crushed grass and dirt. "Did you honestly, ever, when you were telling me time after time to do this, think sitting by while my friends suffer would make me happy?" A faint flicker of darkness crossed her horn. "I'm miserable. And they are too. I don't know why I'm even still trusting that you know what you're doing."

"Starlight." Glimmer's face fell.

"What."

Glimmer raised her eyes. "I want to say I have some lengthy plan, reassure you and tell you to keep trusting me. I know you want to. The reason you're still trusting me is because you need someone to trust in. But the truth is, all I really knew is that losing what you care about would crush you in the future. It's hurt you before, and you've reached far further than most to stop it from happening again. I just wanted to prepare you, and help your heart survive when that time came. And instead, there's no denying that... all I've done is let it crush you early."

"So what are you telling me to do now?" Starlight glared at anything but her lookalike. "If it comes down to it, I already know I'm not going to listen to you and will do anything in the moment to save my friends. That's why I used the Nightmare Modules again two weeks ago."

"There's nothing I can say except I'm sorry," Glimmer replied.

Starlight didn't look up. "Stop telling me you were wrong. I've spent months trying to understand everything you've been saying, and ever since we got here I've been hiding what's in my sword because I don't want to give my friends hope in something I'm not allowed to not give up on myself. Don't you dare make me have done that for nothing."

"Even when you're hurting, your first wish is for me to give your pain a purpose rather than take it away," Glimmer murmured. "Do you know your purpose in life, Starlight? Have you found your special talent?"

"Apparently, it's losing my friends," Starlight huffed.

"Stop." Glimmer came over and sat by her, putting a hoof on Starlight's shoulder. It wasn't rejected. "I've hurt you and I'm sorry, but your body is running on an extremely volatile mix of emotions in a physical sense. You need to-"

"Whether they're mine or not, I sure feel them!" Starlight raised her voice, ears folding in anguish. "Don't tell me my emotions aren't my own! How's that supposed to help!?"

Glimmer gritted her teeth and sighed.

"Whose side are you even on?" Starlight whimpered, burying her face in her hooves.

"This isn't learning to accept or deal with losing your friends," Glimmer growled. "This is hurting yourself by pretending there's nothing you can do. And you'll remember this hurt for the rest of your life, and if you're waiting for it to mean something then you'll do it again and again and grow bitter and angry when you wind up with nothing for your pains, or else you'll grow so dedicated to never letting it happen again that you won't be able to let go when it truly does matter. Snap out of it, Starlight. Despair isn't your color."

Starlight sniffed, definitely not crying. "So what makes this time a time I shouldn't give up on my friends if there will still be times later? What if you just show up next time something like this happens and tell me that time is different for no good reason?"

Glimmer looked down as well. "I hate that you have to think about these things."

"So give me answers so I don't have to!" Starlight sobbed. "You never tell me what's in the future that you're so afraid of! Maybe you could have warned me and told me up front instead of whatever it is you've been doing all this time, huh? I killed windigoes and fought off Chrysalis. I'm strong. I can change a bad future. But no, it's always secrets and secrets and secrets and having your dragon yell in my head when I'm connected to the generator so I don't hear something I'm not supposed to. I didn't even hear anything important when I connected to it the second time! You expect me to trust you and I do even though it does nothing but hurt, and now you're telling me it's all been pointless so far but I'll still have to do all this again later?"

Glimmer drew her close, and again she didn't struggle. "Yes. And I'm sorry. I'm not much of a caretaker or teacher. A warrior and leader who inspired others, drew them together and made tactical achievements, maybe, but keeping someone alive with good decisions is a different way of caring for someone than what you need. You're good enough at keeping everyone alive, already."

Starlight curled her lip. "At this point, I don't even know if I believe you're really from the future. If you knew what was going to happen, you would have stopped Chrysalis, and if you don't know, that explains why you keep refusing to tell me. And if you really were me, you'd know what I need a lot better than you seem to."

Glimmer sighed. "If what you needed was yourself, you wouldn't be wanting so badly."

"So what are you telling me to do?" Starlight stiffly changed the subject. "You want me to just tell my friends I have who knows how many cutie marks in this thing? And get their hopes up that Valey can come back, even though it took Garsheeva to put Nyala together from the same state, and Nyala's cutie mark wasn't even mixed in with a million others?"

Glimmer shrugged. "I told Jamjars what's in your sword."

Starlight blinked. "You did?"

"Mhm." Glimmer nodded. "She has no idea if it's possible, but is fed up with everyone moping around and doesn't feel like joining in. So I showed her where we put Chauncey's research documents we got from Navarre, advised her that getting the ship's power back on would be a good first step so she can cross-check them with Shinespark and Arambai's research files on the ship's terminal, and she's been going hard at it ever since."

"But..." Starlight's face scrunched, mind going blank at the thought of Jamjars doing real work toward a measurable goal for Valey's sake.

Glimmer sat back, rubbing a hoof along Starlight's spine in time with her steadying breaths. "I didn't tell her if she stands a chance. I don't know if she believes she does either. But she doesn't even care, because it's not guaranteed to be pointless and it's not moping around or giving up. She lived so much of her life angry about her own insignificance, and the stubborn determination born of that won't die easily."

Starlight folded her ears. She couldn't tell if she was being upstaged, being inspired, or being ridiculous for considering either. "But she's Jamjars."

"And you're you," Glimmer countered. "A filly who hates giving up so much that sitting by when there's anything you could be doing is emotionally killing you. If there's one thing you need to know about the future..." She took a deep breath. "If you are happy and love the world, then no matter what choices you make there will be nothing to fear."

"That's asking a lot," Starlight grumbled, floating her sword again. "I don't even know how to start trying and get off my hooves, though. If I think about it, it'll hurt too much and remind me of everything I haven't been doing, so I can't think about what to do."

Glimmer stood up. "I hurt you, and while you can delay that pain, you can't dodge it forever. Run from it, and it will slowly poison you. Face it and break through, and you'll find the things you want most are still within your reach. Chrysalis isn't more powerful than you. You've already snatched away your friends' souls from her. Get up, Starlight. Every one of your friends needs you."

Starlight hesitated. "In my first vision in Ironridge. With the falling ash and dead batpony shells and the older Valey who knew my whole name... Valey was still alive."

"Are you afraid of that particular vision, or of a ruinous world at all?" Glimmer stared sightlessly at her. "There is no way the future could hold that particular vision. It is nothing more than a dusty possibility on the shelves of history. Whether it will happen in the distant future, already took place far in the past, is playing out right now in a different reality or only ever existed in your mind, the only effect it has on the world is through how it influences your actions. But it is also one of only millions of dark or ruinous states that could befall any world. Imagine a sunbaked desert where no food could grow, or a dystopia ruled by a mad king or god. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Starlight swallowed. "That even if I change some minor detail and prevent that particular vision from coming true, it doesn't mean I stop the whole thing. Removing Valey or not letting her know my name doesn't stop the ash or the bodies or that black wave."

Glimmer nodded. "Precisely."

"I..." Starlight winced with her entire body, standing as well and shivering as her muscles unlocked. "I am never listening to you tell me to let go of my friends again," she said, taking a resolute breath.

Glimmer watched her. "If there's any other way, I swear I won't let you down again. What are you going to do?"

Starlight looked at her sword. "I have no idea, but I'm doing it because I can."

She pressed a hoof against the blade, feeling the familiar grabbing stickiness of empty moon glass that wanted her when she wasn't glassed, even though the blade was full. That block was still there, like it was staying separate from her because she willed it and not because it wasn't hungry, all-consuming loneliness. Starlight pressed back on that block. The sword had something she wanted, and it wasn't about to keep it separate from her. She opened the sword's hunger to herself like she was instructing it to pry apart its ravenous maw, unsure what she would do next but following Glimmer's words and her own deepest desires and taking the first step, just because it was there-

Her hoof sank up to her shoulder in the blade.

"Aaah!" Starlight yelped in surprise, a cavernous sucking sensation drawing on her leg. Normal moon glass melted into her, because it was smaller than she was, but this giant sword was different! She fought it back with force of will, the obsidian sword trying to absorb her now that it was the bigger of the two. Physical strength alone wouldn't have been enough, but she slowly pulled back her hoof, her leg visibly stretching and distorting where it met the substance while the moon glass remained perfectly smooth. Eventually, she was free, the sword hovering inert in its black aura.

"What...?" Starlight panted, legs shaking, and looked at Glimmer with haunted eyes.

Glimmer shrugged. "You've always been willing to play with the unknown to protect your friends before. But if you'll accept me telling you to stop one more time... If you have any unfinished business in this world that's time-sensitive, you may want to see to that before continuing to experiment."

Comments

[alamais]

Giant crystal soul sword is hungry, nomnomnom.

Also, hooray for Glimmer finally admitting she's trash. And Starlight getting off her greyed-out butt.

Also also, this

A warrior and leader who inspired others, drew them together and made tactical achievements

Thewhointhewhatnow?

[Phoenix Kitten]

"You are about to enter a part of the story where several scenes will happen in rapid succession, with choices that will affect the end of the game in a big way.
If you have any quests left unfinished, or events yet to trigger, we strongly advise you deal with them first and then return when you are ready.
We also advise you to save before triggering this event, as you will not be able to save for a long while after it triggers."

[Phoenix Kitten]

9840534

Giant crystal soul sword is hungry, nomnomnom.

...now I can't help but picture it as a black version of the SC4 incarnation of the Soul Calibur
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/soulcalibur/images/5/55/Sc4-soul-calibur.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/300?cb=20080206024844

[Oberth Effect]

9840536

Is this from an actual game?

[Quinch]

There are hundreds of thousands of batpony cutie marks in there.

That being said... is there also one recently possessed by a sphinx?