The Olden World

by Czar_Yoshi

We're All Monsters

"Well?" Crystal sniffed, wracked with shudders as she hugged her belly. "I would make you all fugitives from the world. Still think I'm worth the trouble?"

Valey couldn't stop her ears from falling, memories of the tunnels in Gyre rising in her mind. Was that the place she would go to? Were her emotions right now the same kind of desperate venom Stanza was made from, a rage against injustice and a desire to own her own future and feelings? Some of Garsheeva's heresies banned things that were clearly bad, but the prohibition against cross-species relationships had always seemed arbitrary and dumb.

"Bananas. I feel for that," she murmured. "You know, there's a unicorn I'd probably be a lot closer to if not for that rule myself."

Crystal lifted her neck, fur stained with tears. "Of course you care. Ponies are bad at knowing when not to care. But you didn't answer the question."

"I..." Valey swallowed, and realized she couldn't answer.

Was Crystal worth the trouble? Was a damaged, angry mare who wanted to live in peace with her lover and child worth fighting a world that didn't want to let them? Somehow, Valey and her friends had poked their noses into Izvaldi without having another Ironridge; they had learned things, yet stayed free. Letting an obvious heretic onto their ship when she had just seen the painful extent of such a crime's punishment? Then the whole world really would be against them. Not just a city where everyone was hostile, but an entire continent. Valey gritted her teeth. What would Maple say? Shinespark? Starlight?

Maple would say yes, Crystal was worth the trouble. Maple would also see another mother-to-be and become emotionally conflicted and invested, but she wouldn't be able to leave Crystal alone. Shinespark? She would play the long game, want to change an unjust society while tending individually to its casualties. At least, the old Shinespark of Sosa would... but Crystal didn't have a long time. She had two months. And Starlight... She didn't know. Maybe Starlight would just suggest Crystal leave.

"Okay," Valey breathed, making up her mind. "Maybe... Maybe you living on our airship isn't the best idea ever, but I still wanna help. I've got like a month of downtime or whatever while they set up for the next round of the tournament. You're good for at least a month, right? Before you give birth?"

Crystal eyed her dourly. "I just said how long I have."

"Yeah, yeah, you did..." Valey scratched the back of her head. "Give me a minute to think of another idea, here."

Valey's brain spun in circles, looking for any way Crystal could be helped that would fit within the span of two months. She needed shelter from the Empire, not mere living arrangements, and the Immortal Dream wasn't equipped to provide that. Going to Mistvale wasn't an option; as little as she knew about the place, the Night Mother had heresies too, and inter-species relationships were also one of hers. Could she leave the continent entirely? Air travel to Ironridge wasn't in supply, and it was a monthlong voyage, so they couldn't take her there and make it back in time to not miss the tournament. And now that Wallace and his friends were in her corner...

Every time she tried to pull a thread and think beyond that circle, though, she ran into a familiar problem: Crystal was in the room, and a very convenient part of her brain wanted to get distracted thinking about Crystal instead.

"Your gaze is easy to follow," Crystal warned. "Whatever good time you're worth won't give me a future, and I'm already taken. Think of a better idea."

"H-Hey!" Valey's ears slicked back, her cheeks reddening. "Look, I'm trying my best to take things seriously, here, and that takes a little effort because I don't let loose much. Heresy laws. You know how it is. So if you don't want this conversation to be about that, don't bring it up."

"You assume I want this conversation to be about anything," Crystal muttered. "You don't need to be here."

Valey folded her wings and huffed. "Yeah, but guess what? I am, and the more this gets off-topic, the longer I'm gonna stay. Go ahead and try it. You can't steam me up and embarrass me into leaving like last time. And if you try, I'm gonna hug you again, so lay off."

Crystal shrugged, then rolled, moving in her bed so that her belly was right in front of Valey. "Go right ahead."

Valey frowned. "Buh?"

"Indulge yourself," Crystal requested, stretched out and presenting her womb. "I make an effort to keep my body lovable. But my soul? You don't love me. You pity me, and pity is a poor substitute for love. You want something from me, whether validation or some other desire. Pity objectifies. It lets you see me as whatever I need to be for what you have to offer to help most. Go on. Feel my child. Sing to them. Tell them they're precious, that you want to help their mother and make a future for them. If you're going to pad out your deluded reality, don't let me stop you from going all the way."

"Woah, hold on." Valey narrowed her eyes, crawling backwards and getting off the bed. "What's deluded about me trying to help? Didn't I just tell you what I was in this for? What do you even think I want!?" She stomped a hoof. "Bananas, yeah, I do pity you! And to be honest? Your personality is gross! It is not attractive and I honestly feel terrible for whoever your true love is, and it's really awkward when you've got nice legs and that half-buttoned maid thingy that looks like it's about to fall off and belongs on a tease model in a certain type of fashion catalogue, but you look completely the opposite on the inside! And you know what? I still wanna help you, because I think that is worth changing. I'm not interested in pretend validation. But I am starting to lose my patience again, and will slap you if you try to fake-flirt with me one more time. Now: what's so deluded about my reality?"

Crystal sat up, hissing like she had been stung and crossing her wings defensively in front of her belly. Her long dull-aqua mane swished against the bed with the motion, and for a moment, she looked like she would attack. After a few harsh breaths, she calmed enough to say, "You've already convinced yourself there's something you can do, and that I don't hate you."

Valey raised her lip... then gave Crystal a glare. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure you hate everything. Amicable conversation was nice, but so long for that. Now why is there nothing I can do?"

"You've just finished condemning my child to death," Crystal whispered, once again looking at herself. "We had a chance, and you erased it. And you have the gall to come barging in here and offer to help." Her gaze flashed up, green eyes burning. "You know nothing but your own desire to feel like the hero. Are you motivated by subconscious guilt? Or are you so much of a monster you don't even notice?"

With a flash of green mane, Valey rushed. The two of them locked together, hitting the wall with Crystal pinned halfway up, her legs and hindquarters dangling. But Crystal didn't struggle.

"I am not a monster," Valey hissed. "You want to see a monster? Your emotions are more toxic than Stanza. You have a lot more to worry about than getting condemned for heresy, lady: I don't think you could find an inch of love to raise your foal if you tried!"

"More toxic than Stanza?" Crystal chuckled darkly. "Oh, you silly pony. I am Stanza."

Comments

[Zapdroid]

9495648
I should restate that I mean the Night Mother is whatever corrupted Luna into Nightmare Moon. We saw her once as a Sphinx, assumed but not explicitly stated to be her true form, and once possessing a batpony filly. Whose to say she can’t change her form at will, or since she is separate from Luna she might not be a pony at all.

[Zapdroid]

Considering Stanza is a dusk statue, and spoke to Starlight in definitely not the same apathetic way Crystal speaks, I find it hard to believe this claim. Perhaps she means this more figuratively, and actually uses her despair to power Stanza.

[Boopers]

She wut???
Huh, I mean we earlier have seen a dusk statue possess a little foal, so I'm wondering whether she truly is Stanza, or if she's possessed by her.

[Hap]

[RoboRed]

Wait...what!?

[sploopy slooder]

ok but valey is seriously being a gigantic asshole here. throwing out an offer to help then immediately changing her mind, just completely half assing it.