As Spike was left behind at the GGG, he decides to visit the parts of the castle he remembered from childhood. As he does so, he runs into Luna, who was making her way to the library not being interested in the party. Asking why Spike left the party, Spike tells Luna what happened. Luna decides to invite him to the library with her, seeing as she wouldn't mind having a friend to talk to. The conversation leads to Spike talking about how he felt used and hurt. Luna feeling sympathetic, asks Spike why he feels this way, causing Spike to tell his story, from the earliest moment he could remember to the present. Spike also mentions a secret to Luna (but you'll have to read to find out :P)
Picture from GameInformer
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Not bad but seems a little rushed. You need to flush out the characters a bit more. Right now, they just feel two-dimensional.
Good start and now you have my attention
I can imagine an entire parody series, in which 'Comic Books' was instead hard drugs.
went by a bit quick. i'm down for some luna / spike real talk.
Okay, straight talk. This is a very interesting concept you've got, even if you're far from the first author to insinuate Twilight is abusive and/or neglectful to Spike (that's my own take on their relationship). You're also explaining where Luna was during GGG, which many writers don't -- though you'll have to get him to Pony Joe's by the end. You have my interest.
However, I cannot upvote this story yet. Pacing is fast, but that's not necessarily a deal breaker. The issue is I found multiple typos (of the kind spellcheck won't catch) and a few grammar errors. Might I suggest either giving your stories a closer read when you edit, or having someone else do it. I know from experience that it's easy to miss one's own mistakes.
First of all:
Lound --> loud
Shuttered --> shuddered
Second of all: holy exposition Batman! Seriously, tone it down. Yes details are good, but they need a reason to be there. It'll stay on my later list for now.
It's true, Twilight never even acknowledges that Spike is her number one assistant.
Oh. Seems like she does. Ironically, that's from the episode she got another helper to lessen Spike's workload.
Welp, it's Spike's personal pity party, so he'll be forgetting a few things that don't find his idea that he's being totally neglected^^
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Plz continue