Broken Heart

Since he was a hatchling, Spike has always ridden on Twilight’s back. Now he wants to return the favor, but he is too small. He finds the answer in an old spell that can age him one hundred and fifty years. But when he tries to cast it on himself, he inadvertently finds himself in a future where ponies are at war with the dragons.

Chapters (4)

Chapter 1 · 4th Oct 2015 · 4,556 words
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Chapter 2 · 11th Oct 2015 · 4,577 words
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Chapter 3 · 18th Oct 2015 · 7,913 words
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Chapter 4 · 25th Oct 2015 · 5,385 words
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Comments ( 20 )

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The Descendant

The Descendant #1 · Oct 4th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 ·

Not a bad start. Be sure to fix the "where" in the short description.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #2 · Oct 4th, 2015 · · · Chapter 1 ·

Oops! Thanks for the catch. Hope you like next week's chapter.

Fido

Fido #3 · Oct 11th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Liking it so far. No major errors and the pacing is good too.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #4 · Oct 12th, 2015 · · · Chapter 2 ·

Thanks, Fido. Hope you enjoy Chapter 3 next week.

Emptybee

Emptybee #5 · Oct 18th, 2015 · 3 · · Chapter 3 ·

“They had one baby together, a colt.” Apple Seed explained. “His name was Spike, too.”

Ooof, right in the feels.

Toilet Sprinkle

Toilet Sprinkle #6 · Oct 19th, 2015 · · · Chapter 3 ·

Dammit dude I don't need this. I'm only half way through and the tears are flowin

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #7 · Oct 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Thank you, Moku5 and Emptybee. One of the best complements you can give an author is to let them know they moved you. I hope you enjoy the fourth and final chapter.

Mother3Forever

Mother3Forever #8 · Oct 25th, 2015 · 3 · · Chapter 3 ·

What shook him the most was a picture of Twilight carrying a child size coffin on her back. “Twilight?”
Without looking back, she knew what picture he was looking at. She continued to hold onto Apple Tree. The pain of that day came back, but it now seemed to be getting lighter. “As we were leaving town hall, the ushers were going to put you on a cart. But I said, ‘No’. I wanted to give you one last ride. It was the least I owed you!”

Fido

Fido #9 · Oct 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

So that's that, huh? Didn't expect it to end so soon but hey it worked nonetheless. Like I said, it was nicely paced and had some real feels for such a short package. Great. Liked it. Well done.

Vates Despero

Vates Despero #10 · Oct 25th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Time stopped.
For a minute? For an hour? For a millennium? How could one tell when time itself no longer functioned? For the first time since time began, there was no time. Princess Twilight Sparkle had indeed become the most powerful Alicorn in Equestria. Fourteen Pegasus built up the power to turn time back. But that could not be accomplished until the forward momentum of time was halted. That is what Sure Hoof had realized. And the realization that his General could do this is what sent a chill down his spine.
Nothing in all the multiverse moved. Then, so imperceptibly, that final tear nudged itself back up Twilight’s cheek.
The universe screamed in agony as an explosion ripped an unimaginable, unhealable, wound in time and space. The threads of reality unwound themselves, knocking galaxies off their axis, throwing parallel realities out of sync, undoing history in order to remove a single thread of time. Wars were unfought, lives were unlost as every event was undone until that single thread was removed from the rest of creation.
The magical energy built up by the Pegasus waned as it was used up. The backward movement of time came to a halt. Then, for the second time since time began, time stopped. The natural temporal movement resumed. And as time reset itself, the event that caused the unimaginable, unhealable wound in time and space never happened. Neither did the event that caused the unimaginable, unhealable wound in a young pony’s heart.

You might want to reread this section... this section where 14 Pegasus(singular) are casting a unicorn time travel spell.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #11 · Nov 8th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Thanks, MyLittleTimeLord. A video is worth a thousand words.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #12 · Nov 8th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Thanks for the feedback, Fido. Glad you enjoyed it. I know some of the stories in this site go on really long, but this was as long as I felt it had to be to tell the story.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #13 · Nov 8th, 2015 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Thanks for the catches, Vates Despero. I know how annoying it can be to be in the middle of a story and catch typos. It's also annoying to go over one's work over and over and still miss things!

Pegasus? Pegasuses? Pegasi? Why don't I call it a flurd and be done with it?

Truffles

Truffles #14 · Feb 6th, 2016 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Brilliant. The part about Twilight giving Spike one last ride broke down any remaining emotional defenses I had.

One thing I would have liked to have seen was a chapter dedicated to Spike flying off and trying to fix things with the dragons since he feels partly responsible for things being the way they are. It's always fun to have the main protagonist in a face-to-face with the primary antagonist. Plus it could shed some light on why Vilmax hates ponies so much.

Also it would be fitting if at the very end as time slows a look of bewilderment falls upon Vilmax's features as he notices his very being start to dissolve as the fabric of the universe gets unraveled as payback for all the deaths he's caused. But that's just me.

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #15 · Feb 6th, 2016 · · · Chapter 4 ·

6909461 Thanks, Truffles. I'm glad you enjoyed it. A face-to-face would have bee interesting. I guess I didn't think of it because I was concentrating on the Twilight/Spike relationship and the Twilight/Luna relationship.

And thanks for blocking out the spoiler comments for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

Comment posted by AvexedAuthor deleted Dec 19th, 2017

Tale Weaver

Tale Weaver #17 · Dec 19th, 2017 · · · Chapter 4 ·

8603771
...Wait...what? Oh, ahhhh, that actor's counterpart in the Ponyverse left acting to go into costume design which led him into tailoring. That's when Rarity met him.... I guess...??

FieldOfMemories

FieldOfMemories #18 · Apr 23rd, 2018 · · · Chapter 4 ·

Wow. Just...wow. I had this story in my read it later list for quite a while and I just read it tonight. I do not regret that decision at all. You have done a magnificent job with the story and the characters. It's a shame this story doesn't have more likes and views. This truly is a hidden gem. I hope you write more stories soon and I thank you for writing this one.

Aether Spark

Aether Spark #19 · May 24th, 2018 · · · Chapter 4 ·

I love the story it's the perfect drama or an MLP mature themed sad story but I got to wonder what's stopping the conversation from chapter 1 from happening the next day all Twilight has to do is look upset and again and Spike asks her about it and the whole situation starts over.