Being among the few to make it out of trials week and into Wonderbolts Academy, Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger know their next challenges will be among their toughest. However, they may have underestimated how difficult these exercises can be.
Luckily, one of their fellow trainees suggests an easier alternative to conquering the academy's infamous obstacle course. However, this suggestion is exponentially more dangerous than the usual method, risks angering Spitfire, and puts Vapor and Sky's relationship and their futures as potential Wonderbolts to the test once more.
Chapters (1)
Nice and heartwarming.
7883678 Thank you for checking out the story and for the compliment. I highly appreciate it!
Need more villainous things happening. If you write about the Wonderbullies you need to make them meaners than that.
7884279 Yeah, Spitfire and her fellow Wonderbolts do know a thing or two about nicknames.
You actually posted this!
Okay, now that the celebrations are over, I can say this is a pretty good tale. World needs more VaporSky and the fact that Lightning Dust (My favorite Wonderbolts recruit) was in here was just the cherry on top. Still hoping for her return one day. But till then, that's what Fanfics are for, eh?
7884388 Yeah, Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger are enjoyable ponies to write about, and both they and Lightning Dust could always use some more love. Anyway, thank you for checking out the story and for commenting. I highly appreciate it!
shouldn't Vapor be spitfire?
7885169 That part is actually correct, as Vapor is watching the other cadets since she's waiting for Sky to show up, becoming more nervous when he doesn't appear at first as the story shows. Anyway, thanks for taking a look at the story and for commenting.
7885184 ah i see, what threw me was the jump to third person, and anytime!
7885185 Actually, the line and those surrounding it are still in the third person. I'm guessing you're referring to the use of a pronoun at first, which was used since Vapor is established as the character through which the story is told, but I'll see if I can tweak the sentence a little so that it's clearer. Anyway, thank you for letting me know about it.
D'aww
This was a great story and I liked the interaction between Vapor and Sky. Seeing a bit more of Angel wings would have been nice too but at least she made it.
7886055 Yeah, writing Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger's interactions was enjoyable, and both of them alongside Angel Wings are cute and interesting ponies. Anyway, thank you for checking out the story and for commenting. I appreciate it!
Hoho
I guess it feels a little out of character for Sky Stinger? He came off as a bit arrogant to me and stubborn in Top Bolt, but never did it feel like he was so brash as to do something like attempt an extremely dangerous maneuver, especially not flying into plywood after it had been blocked off. While Vapor Trail certainly assisted him in his preliminary trials, I find it difficult to believe that his speed dropped off so much that he would be considerably lagging behind everypony else, which again feels like it's used to pigeonhole Sky Stinger into becoming frustrated enough at his slowness to consider Lightning Dust's suggestion.
Still, I enjoyed Vapor Trail's characterisation as you write the story from her point of view, and she comes off cute as always. Lightning Dust in the early and middle parts of the story feels authentic as well, but her change of heart at the end feels a little forced as there's no real transition for her to go from "Hey there's this side-route you can take to cut time" to "Oh dear I should go tell Spitfire just in case Sky Stinger for whatever reason decides to plow through a plywood sheet."
8011447 Yeah, you make some excellent points regarding Sky Stinger's character and the story's pacing at some points. I'll try my best to look out for those kinds of things in future writing projects. Anyway, thank you for giving the story a look and for the advice and criticism. I appreciate it!
Love this! Nice follow up from the episode