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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I view this guy as logical, but also a narcissist idiot. Hopefully he matures.
>Not going local
Degenerate.
7907877 He is just laid back and having fun. Even if it makes him look narcissistic. But at the same time, he isn't really in love with himself.
A wee bit crass, but he may yet grow into his power.
7907912 That appears so, but I do hope he matures and doesn't act like an idiot in front of world leaders.
NIce chapter as always nava, i like that for once the main character is a bit laid back.
(please deliver unto us a new chapter of the crystal emperor too!)
I get the impression that this Aku character is, at least in part, inspired by Crash Bandicoot's Aku-Aku.
Ahh finally someone discord will absolutely adore.
Him peeing on the marble is just his way of showing dominance. Now he just needs to fight off a rival for a mate and he should be sorted. Though the mate part may be a bit difficult.
I wonder how Celestia and Luna will find out about this 'monkey king' would they be having a spy or Blueblood just casually being in the region as vacation, or like Tirek they just know when something is coming?
7907887
>Not gonna fuck a horse
What are you gay?
Nice story so far, good work.
666 Likes! HORAY!
*flashback* .......THE CHEESE!!........... *end flashback* .........
Another? Please?
yay new chapter.
oh for some reason i didnt get the usual notification when new chapters comes on faved stories... hmmm..
oh well cant wait for the next one.
köln ist ne netter gegend aber ich kann großstädte nicht ausstehen
The setting of the story is great, but it's poorly written.
7909523 Why is it poorly written?
Ship?
For a second I thought the parasite on the cover was Flowey
7909785
I'm not sure how to best describe it, but i'll try.
To me it feels like at times you wrote too much. Not in the sense of details per se, but in that you descibed a scene or a thought (especially thoughts) too extensively. It is like there is more written than is necessary and therefore feels forced.
For example:
This part is really not needed, for it was already obvious before that Aku would be the last to voice his opinion out of the context of the story. Had it been another zebra it would have made more sense.
This whole thought feels unnecessary and forced.
Anyway, these are my thoughts on the matter. Take them for what you will. And I have to reiterate that I really like the setting and idea of the story which is why I'll probably continue reading it anyway. Have a good day.
Peace
7910898 You broke my hearth
But yeah, I just like detail for some reason, and also want to established the character further by showing his opinions and thoughts on things happened around him.
Suuuuure...
I assume that means "Finest of mind fuckery."
We all know this feeling. (Probably)
Indeed, my friend. Indeed.
Good chapter.
Can't wait to see what happens next.
(For example, will we see the siblings again?)
Found maybe an small error:
Are you sure he said that instead of only thinking it? Because it isn't italic.
UH OH!
Good chapter, looking foward to the next.
I'm not gonna lie: I prefer this story over the Nava one...
7923550 Can you explain your reason?
7923609 I find myself liking the writing style better, I enjoy the main character more, and I can't help but anticipate a potential upcoming chapter in greater quantities than I ever did with Nava.
Looking forward to more.
-Ru
7909357 Grossstädte sind definitv 'n bisschen behindert.
Noice chapter, I hope he keeps in touch with his inner Sheogorath. I'm getting an Overlord feel from this, will there be any 'sasuga Alex-sama' moments?
7933502 But...if he stays as Sheogorath he wouldn't have the time to be some of the other MAD characters in both games or movies
7935753 I love this comment!
7935762 So do I!
Were instead of was
Pls...
Just lemme suffocate...
After reading it tonight after a while again, the main char is making me think of Jaja bings from star wars or how he is written.
Damn. I Like Naj- Nam... WHAT EVER Her name was... God damn incest... >~>
8029821
In a good way or in a bad way?
7907988 I think you may be right considering that he is the voice of reason of the group.
this man, what an ass. (How's he going to charge his phone? Solar charger?)
1) Loot? He didn't loot his own stuff.
2) A 'collection' of 'higher ups?' The nobles is much better.
3) Innecessary sentences are everywhere and are unnecessary.
Lastly, what tense is this story going for?
I open the door, then I walked in, then I see the window and saw the curtain.
Either, or. Not both.
See or saw. Walk or walked.
Past tense story or present tense action.
8805438
You do realize that those are the characters thoughts? I am pretty sure that everyone has some mental quirks that involve odd ways of expression.
Honestly, way too many authors on this site don't understand the difference between a funny and eccentric protagonist, and a nonsensical arsehole.
9233279
Well, they often mix
So that may be why there's confusion.
9233279
For real, and this one is pretty much on the nonsensical side.