Please hurry!

A fantastic ending!
I look forward to the sequel

Amazing story! Ending was so sweet.
Keep up the amazing work!

Enjoyable, I kind of want to see where this one goes next. I wouldn't say I want to see a sequel, just a follow-up to the story, just something where we see the two of them at one of the next points in their relationship. I'm sure it isn't uncommon for individuals in this sort of relationship, which here is shown to be based on a sense of trust, enforced by the organization that manages these sorts of things to marry, they probably even encourage such things. Actually, that would be an interesting thing to see. Individuals, either as just a pair or larger group, in a Dom/Sub relationship joining together in matrimony.

An update? 'Bout time.

Glad to see that this isn't the end. I'm really intrigued to see a master/slave relationship outside of sexy times and during the humdrum of everyday life. This is also such a cute romance that I can't wait to see where it goes.

8206486
I talked to Manifest about the Church. So far no one has really gone into it and I figured why not. While the Church isn't officially there one can never been too careful.

Anyways glad you liked the first chapter

8214257Just again, for the most part, this is damn good and really did an amazing job showing off the Soceity and setting up a great first tour and what not, showing a lot of aspects of it really well. Just a few bits.. really just two that were off to me. The pipe and the “impregnate these two mares” thing. The latter... yeah that idea for the auction house was pretty damn good and it makes a lot of sense, it’s just, there was far to much peotnial ambiguity in the “impregnate them’ aspect for whether that was talking IRL, or purely play. The kind of thing you reall really really do not want to have any doubt about, and doing that through the AH just.. feels kind of wrong to me.

The pipe, it’s not them not knowing it’s safe, it’s... yeah I can’t see how it’s safe at all to be doing that, doubly so given this is a Silver level area. Maybe, maybe, under very very controlled conditions, something like that would be allowed for Root play, but hard to see it in Silver level at all.

The City/hunting Grounds, fair enough, that is one of the issues of setting things down in an evolving setting like this. Though, even just the way it’s described I don’t get a very ‘predator’ vibe from it, mostly because... yes technically this counts, but that tends to make me think more of what the Hunting Grounds are, literal predators, as in griffons, dragons, etc... that might eat you when they catch you type things. The whole ‘must be accompanied by your Dom, deal though that I.. don’t see how that’s a safety thing, pretty much everywhere is free for anyone to join in without needing to be in a pairing for it.

But, out of all this, those are the only points that felt odd really, the rest... this is dmn good and did a TON amazing about setting up the society, the characters, and some really well done, quick clop stuff.

Also i FREAKING LOVE! Your description of the Tentacle Pit.

Glad you enjoyed it

This was awesome.

Wow, ifn it hadn't been for your journal saying you were going to kill off this story, I would've missed this chapter. The whole story's been great, and a fairly nice wrap up. The one thing i'd've done different if I were the writer (don't we all have ideas like this?) is a relatively minor nod to canon, and had Moondancer try to pass off the observatory as her home before being made to show the truth. She could very well be living in the observatory despite it not being meant to be used that way, and could lead to a fun scene if that were an available setting, but that's a very minor thing indeed. If there's to be a sequel, I look forward to seeing what your come up with.

8238400 Still feels really really odd for it to be like that given there is WAY more to a black collar relationship then just that and just feels... unhealthy to be treated that way. At least with how hunter is treating it as something rather big and lasting and important, and then just, one session in a rather atypical manner and you can tell you want to be with them? I get they are still free to tell them to go buck themselves any time. Just.... again can't say 'bad' but raises a whole lot of red flags for ways it can go horribly wrong to view things that way to me. Not to mention, again, black and even adamantine collars should have every right to take part in this, the latter of course so long as their partner is fine with it. it is studs that determine level of free use the sub desires, not collar color.

But glad this was helpful, again aside from the rather..... disturbing to me... way they were treating the idea of a black collar... this was great, and hunter is freaking awesome. Moondancer...... really needs to see Starsong. But at least she lucked out with a Dom who recognizes she may have issues, and will take care of her the best he can.

8239033
And he is

quickmeme.com/img/a1/a1549b8621e83854cda79881ca75a953627840db5ab3cf8c2bd2caa29bac5e7c.jpg

Who is Manifest Harmony?

8269105
Check here

Definitely a very enjoyable look at a proper (if still slightly into-the-deep-end) introduction into the Society. Seraphem's pretty much covered my thoughts -- and I will admit to deferring to them on some points I'm less familiar with -- but there are a few things I want to add that I didn't share with what they said in their commentaries:

I don't have quite the same degree of reaction to the issues with collars. Yeah, Hunter has the wrong idea about what black means (and them being worked into the game really doesn't work), but he is new and I can get where the misunderstanding comes in. The slicing off of the old collar is borderline, but she did agree with it, to one extent or another, and it's not like she has any attachment to the old one, emotional or monetary. The sweater was more a problem for me. Maybe that's not needing to internalize what the collars represent to the same extent in my own personal life.

I can definitely see the Sol Invictus having more of a reputation in Hollow Shades than elsewhere; they seem like the kind of ponies who spread stories of their greatness. Anyone running into them or actual news of them with any frequency would know they're just puffing themselves up. Way off in the areas the Church doesn't touch, the propaganda is the main body of info that does reach.

When I say that the slave RP colors every other scene in Clocktower, this is a great example of what I'm talking about. They're both here for predator/prey play, but when Moondancer gives in to Hunter, she falls back to calling him Master and herself a slave. It makes perfect sense in-character, given how strong a thread that is throughout the Society, but the two are not the same storyline in play, and "sub" does not mean "slave". And her giving him her number instead of her name the second time? Did she already join the Slave Trainers' Guild?, because I would hope that's not just standard for every sub who comes to the Society. Aside from personal reasons, maybe that's part of why I like Pet Town: from Silent's vignettes and Fluttershy's Guide chapters, that seems the least influenced by the overlying RP. I definitely don't dislike the slave play in general, but it seems like it can get a tad overwhelming in CTS fics.

Much more minor, but even with this being written before we saw the aftercare hoodies, wouldn't the subs on their way out only be giving "Clockface"s or three rings? Five and you get the den mothers Seraphem has lining the walls swooping down on some of them. Never mind, Clockface is five bells.

On that, 8215022, correct me either of you if I'm wrong, but I get the feeling the City is halfway between the Ruins, the Core, and (my basic understanding of) the Hunting Grounds, with some of the considerations of the Auction House. More understandably, "on paper" it's the place for non-con/repayment/hunting scenarios set up within a particular dom/sub grouping, that could use a more realistic environment than the halls or private chambers -- the other three are the settings for more casual play. That's in the sense of "relationship", not "commitment to character"; I see the roleplay being much more played up in the other three probably because ponies are rarely going in with a scene sketched out amongst themselves. Luna and Cadance are seeking doms for the night and the doms they meet are seeking subs, so they all go to the Ruins. If Hunter and Moondancer want a repeat of this chase, they'd go back to the city so Hunter doesn't have to race a random griffon to his prey. Minus the black collars, this was not only a mixer to help get new relationships started (not just the casual "I'll keep an eye out for you the next time I'm here"), it was a way to offer a more urban setting to those who frequent the Hunting Grounds.

On the whole, though, definitely a good slice of Clocktower life. Thanks for sharing it!

8328346 Ah yes, that issue, see that was a case of multi layers of misunderstanding at work. The whole City/Hunting Grounds/Ruins thing. At the time this was written, neither of those other two existed, at the time I read this, The Boderlands, and it's sub-regions did not exist. Mani misunderstood what BWK intended the City to be, and so described it to people more like The Ruins, I started planning Lunar Ravishing under that beleif and with that type of zone in mind, there was this whole kerfluffle over the ideas and the thing, but it got sorted out, and led to the creation of The Boderlands as the 'hardcore' non-con zone. The primary difference between the two, aside from what you pointed out, the random versus planned, since there are ways to get random prey in The City, you just have to get them before you go in, is The City is much much more tightly structured. There are more rules, more limits, more safeguards. It's a lower degree of Non-Con from the free-for-all, anything goes of The Boderlands. For ponies that, just want a bit of it, but not going that far. Or who really are just more interested in the chase and want a more 'fair' fight in only having to avoid one dom etc... There is a lot of similarity, but plenty of difference as well. And spot on with the Hunting Grounds, same basic idea, different setting.

As to the 'Slave' thing permeating everything... I can rather understand and do kind of share some 'ehhhhhh' about that being the default mood, I much prefer 'pet' as a default, but that's just my preference for sub/dom relationship personally. But I do get how and why it's like that in character. It's also why in The Ruins, the default way to describe a sub is 'Victim' unless they've been caught and taken to a gang's camp, once captured and locked up by them, they become a 'slave'. The number thing, just a quirk and a lot of sub's simply tend to go with that, it's not a Slaver's Guild thing, it's a Society thing that they create their designation, granted equally as many that don't even bother with it likely.

But yeah, my own hangups aside, this was a great CTS fic that showed a lot of amazing stuff about the location. Also one part of this inspired the next Luna fic. But, you've pretty much seen the rest of my thoughts, glad you liked this one too!

8328346
Like Sera said, none of the other zones existed at the time when this story was being made. I had many ideas for this place to keep it safe non con.

I'll be happy to answer any questions and please check out the sequel

8328655
8329100
Thanks for the clarifications! Does make sense that this was the first of the non-con settings written, and knowing more of the workings behind each area is quite the help in piecing Clocktower together.

EDIT: Not quite sure why I was thinking the bell sequence was 1-3-5 rather than 3-5-7. Probably should have checked on that first. Sorry!

I have reviewed your story as a part of the Reviewer Cafe! As always, thank you for the hard work, time, and effort you have put into the creation of this piece. I hope you find this review to be both helpful and insightful.

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/308771/reviews?page=7#comment/6227193

8586583
Thank you for your comments and they were very helpful. In the regards to the rival that you mentioned, I had thought about it but felt that being abondonned again like that would have fit better for her character. And while the end was a bit 'happily ever after' I'll admit that it could have been done better. I was struggling to figure out how I wanted it to end. That being said, I am working on ideas for part three which will be delving more into Moondancer and Lightning Dust within the Society

8586657

Nice, and yeah I figured that the trade-off of having that rival in there would have been a deviation from your desire to explore her characterization more. That was definitely a shot in the dark on my part as a food-for-thought than anything being wrong with the scene as-is. I guess I was simply looking for something more substantial to make lend the trade-off more weight. Although, I'd truly struggle to give you anything more definitive than that. And, at the end of the day, your work was still a truly remarkable read. Congratulations on making a person who dislikes clop enjoy your clop.

10/10 will read again!

While this is a rather late comment I think it's rather extreme that part of Moondancer's house collapses besides she could always move into Twilight's old tower if she hasn't done so already.

Daaang this is good.~

-Ru

Well, rereading this series I'd like to say that this was a great addition to the CWS universe.

We get to see how a dom (Star in this case) got into the society. We get to see how Predators Night work here which was very interesting.

You make the story very thrilling with Hunter trying to catch his prey. Specifically, Moondancer whom is also another character introduced in this tale. I love the possible budding romance between the characters.

Also, having read this series of stories already. I'd to say I like the concept that this is a harem story for Star. With each sequel a new mare that Star makes his mate. And I like the little hints in the previous chapter about Lightning Dust.

Overall, I had a fun time reading.

10457633
Thanks!

10305459
It's the same series that had Rainbow Dash constantly tease Spike's dick, exhibitionist style, until he turned the tables on her, right?