8006637 Well remember that,even though they are more open to different sexual things, not all ponies are into the same kinks. Also remember that having it be an open secret might be the downfall of Clocktower.
It's the weirdest thing. I'm fascinated by the idea of dom/sub play, yet I rarely find a story that appeals to me, except for anything related to Clocktower. Something about this setting just intrigues me. Where this leaves off is where I'm most interested for the story to go. I want to see what they're like now that they're together, how they are when not in Clocktower. Will they start dating, or pretend to not know each other outside Clocktower? It's the domestics that I can't wait to see.
8007135 Well more stuff will becoming in the sequel. That however might be awhile since once this story is done I am working on the sequel to Pip's Treasure Chest
Throught this whole chapter I imagined Star Hunter talking with High Society Russian accent. It was pretty much dope, the best thing ever and how it should be read.
And the teat sucker ask reminded me of one of the films back in motherland...
Okay now that the whole misunderstanding about The City is cleared up, let's see what we got!
Sadly, he could not do that right then and there. He was told he needed a few days to ‘cool off’ as they put it before making such an important decision.
Fair enough, and it makes sense they'd want to be sure that a pony processed things right and wasn't just saying yes out of "SO HORNY!" Though on the other hoof, given just how long the application process can be, would still give time for him to back out.. but still it does make sense. Also want to make sure the members get the idea that they can't base their lives around the Society.
Moondancer was now the mare tied to a teacher’s desk, her legs spread wide in front of a packed classroom
ALL OF MY WANT!
Seriously Mani.... get us some sexy Twi/Celestia student/teacher roleplay!
Or maybe Starlight/Twilight.
to ensure that he was free of any STDs.
Well do get that, but also something that never comes up and just figured... magical fantasy land, they have magic for that. Mostly because, while that does make sense, what's to stop him from getting one at some point after and bringing it in? Just, one of those.. I get why they do it, but still feels like just going through the motions to catch the most obvious stuff, while the deeper reason is allowed to slip by.
Still going with magical crotch rot cures.
Hunter was far more knowledgeable in the art of bondage and submission than he had even been before
Really love going through, giving this info.. but doing it quick enough to not bog things down, making clear how far things go, how serious this is taken, but getting through it as quick as possible while still giving that image.
either in the sub class
Was going to say, doubt she'd be in your classes, she didn't even seem like a switch.
This signified that he was seeking a permanent slave, to be his and his alone.
Noooooot really. Black does not denote 'his and his alone' when upgraded to it. Ti does mean you are technically their 'owner' but they are still fully free to do whatever the hell they want whenever they want, you would have to clear with your sub that they agree a black collar also meant exclusivity. What about days when one of you can't make it but the other wants to have some fun? Or differing kinks? I mean, yeah it CAN mean that, but it doesn't have to. Plus, a black level relationship is easy to break off at any moment.
BUUUT I also get that this is perfectly in character and fits his mindset to see it this way at this point.
a golden plume which apparently coded for griffons.
ALL OF THE YES! Also, really loving his tastes.
But then again, he had never seen a griffon in any of his pornos.
\ Ehhh good luck with that, apparently Griffon Subs are very, very rare compared to Doms. Ponies seem to if anything have more subs, or at least subs and switches then Doms going by the general ratio we've seen. Mostly even enough, but still never see a dom lacking choices for subs (depending on their tastes and ability to not freak themselves out to much to actually claim one.. *cough* Sip *Cough* )
The big night finally arrived. Hunter and all the other participants were ushered into a large staging warehouse
Hmmmm, this does seem just a bit odd. Not The City aspect, but, fresh, brand new Dom having their first introduction to things be a major event like this rather then taking some time to get used to things a bit more first.
Then again, it is a big kink for him.. just.. kind of feels like he might be rushing in a bit to fast.. not Twilight level of clearly not realizing what he is doing fully, he's spot on on that but, does not seem like a wise move leaping right into something major like this. Though do have to start somewhere, likely more a personal preference thing.
their faces hidden behind their dom masks.
Ehhh one aspect of this that is kind of silly.... that the masks hide anything, some of their face yeah but, face has to be one of the last things ponies use for identification. compared to color and cutie mark.
a corner of the building were several yaks,
No.. no.. please no... any species but Yaks! Just, I can buy any other species being here but just... yaks are just so so... YAK. SO hard to see them handling this well. And no that is NOT racism.
It's speciesism.
He recognized the stallion
Like I said, masks hide nothing for ponies.
Clocktower medical specialists will also be there in case of injuries.
And likely to be a LOT of Den Mothers hiding around every corner watching you.
Good briefing, still seems tad light, but that I prefer more well defined, verbose, and very, very detailed run downs to avoid any confusion.
For one, is this considered a Free-To_use zone where collar stud doesn't matter? Any other special rules like Orange band not being needed to engage in non-con play?
Also as to other concerns, this is already quite different then things are in The Ruins, just for the organization at work and how things are structured more.
either red or white collars.
Ummm, that really shouldn't matter, black collars could have any fun they wanted too. Again not some binding monogamous deal unless both sides want to treat it that way. Proof is stud colors. Black collars can still have silver studs, meaning 'free-to-us' it's the studs that determine how open they for use, not the collar's base color. The only real difference, is if a Black collar with Silver studs is with her Dom, it's considered polite to get his permission before nailing his slave.
it’s game over for you.
Ehhh don't much like this. (from a 'if I were taking part aspect", not a "reading the story aspect') yes have the guard be a threat, but maybe just a time out, set back, something to punish you for getting caught, but not fully ending any fun at all, really wouldn't like that aspect.
will have a basement full of equipment for a more personal session.
This I liiiike. Still not a fan of the whole, picking random 'junk' up off the street, just... feels wrong to me. At the very least should be Gold or Crystal level play to do that stuff IMO. But, could just be it's hitting some squick center for me that's making it seem worse then it is.
If you spot a white-collar and catch her, you will have the option of claiming her as your own as long as they are interested. You will have all night to get her to choose you as her master. But if she hasn’t taken your collar by the end of the night then that’s it.
Ummmm.... wut? No seriously wut? How.. how does that work? Going from white to black collar/mask is not about just getting 'caught' it's.. quite literally, a relationship. Now yeah it can happen like that but.. there should never be rules about that like this, it's something fully, utterly and solely between a sub and a dom to decide if they wish to make their relationship 'official' putting a time limit on it like this just.. doesn't feel right at all.
Also how would she 'take your collar' when you wouldn't have a collar for her? Given you wouldn't know her particular collar set up.
This was why he wanted to do this event — So that he could finally catch a slave to call his own here in the streets of the City.
Sorry dude, it doesn't work that way. You are not 'claiming' anything unless they want you to, no matter how many you catch.
all part of what was no doubt a magically-simulated sky.
Good, planning on the same illusion open sky thing for the non-con area, so nice to see that established.
as unicorns began teleporting from rooftop to rooftop.
more a general MLP thing but, always odd seeing how different teleportation is treated, with it being seemingly easy in a lot of fics.. yet in the show, we've only ever seen the highest level unicorns do it.
His ears twitched as he picked up the sounds of carefree laughter from them.
Hmm, interesting way for them to be acting.
The remaining mare left her partner to her fate and ran in the opposite direction.
Some friend.
The second mare to the left was wearing a very familiar sweater and glasses.
And narrative law requires this to be the one he catches, also.. five other unicorns, easy who they are, but the CP? And gain, seems a bit odd to make something major like this one of your first attempts at getting into society play.
“YAKS GRAB!” came a roaring voice.
Girls... just safeword now and save us all the embarrassment.
Hunter fought the urge to facehoof at how subtle the yaks were.
Don't worry, I did it for you buddy in fact... I'll do it again for you.
One of the yaks, however, seemed to notice Moondancer.
See.. Yaks ruin everything.
The mare hung her head, a picture of sadness.
Awwwwww... See i WOULD feel bad for her but... well... sorry but, you are much MUCH better off avoiding that Yak. Now, time to go make her feel better. with lots and lots of kinky fucking.
he would have to act soon
I believe the proper response to that is. "NO DUH NOW GET MOVING!"
Half of the appeal of the City was the chase.
See other major difference, like I said, the Ruins, it's mostly focused on the fun you have once you catch them versus the focus on the chase itself.
Moondancer’s horn glowed brightly just before she teleported and reappeared on a rooftop some distance away.
I can kind of buy Moondancer being able to do that. Also "HAX!"
jumping from rooftop to rooftop like a superhero
Moondancer. Lonely shut in nerd till like two month ago Moondancer, leaping across rooftops?
He had learned that not every unicorn can use that spell as it required a lot of skill as well as large magical reserves
Okay, fair enough story, we just seem to have differing idea on what level is needed for that.
probably to discourage him using this spell in the hopes that he might decide to go after some easier prey
Or to try and put on as good a hunt as she can to make you earn it.
Or maybe she is leading me to an officer,
True, but another question is, does she recognize him? That could answer things.
The only trace that remained was the lingering scent of her sex in the air.
Invisibility spell.
The bottle looked like it had either been sliced perfectly down the middle or it was half-phased through the wall.
Okay, other form of illusion, but same idea. Also yeah gotta pay attention to random junk lying around to get these things to work right. Even Molly has trouble dealing with multiple variables well.
her lithe form dangling from a ledge by her forehooves while her hind legs did their best to scramble for purchase on the wall.
Time to save her life and then be rewarded with kinky kinky sex.
Also, wow dangerous.....
“C-Clockf-face,” stammered Moondancer, repeated the safe word to pause their session.
Not how it works, the moment ANY party involved in a scene says that safeword, it's paused. All involved parties need all use it to resume play afterwards. Not to pause it.
And…And it’s not fair to you. You caught me fair and square.”
Some pony is nice and horny. Plus yeah, long as she's fine, no reason to stop.
“Clockface,” she answered with a watery smile, signalling the session to begin again.
See, this yes, both of them need to say it to start t back up, but not to pause it.
Also that was one fun little chase, very well written and just, maybe not the most ZOMG EDGE OF MY SEAT TENSE! thing ever, but still really really well paced and worked out, nice job. Now for the REAL fun.
Hunter had no idea but it looked really weird.
Hunter stared out at a mostly empty café,
And right into fantasy, heh. Well will help to set the stage right and get things a bit more immersive as he claims his little prize.
A smile crossed his lips as he hung up a ‘We’re Closed’ sign to ensure nopony would interrupt the session he and his new slave had planned for the evening.
D'awwww very sweet, and at the same time creepy and hot and, lots of things. The 'like they had rehearsed' bit is a tad odd, but rest.. ohhhh soooooo hawt!
He had no idea why he was imagining something like that when he was about to partake in the real thing.
Like I said, trying to craft a story around this to make things hotter.
Still, a set up like that might be something he could use for his next murder mystery novel.
And that just made the whole thing SO freaking creepy... thanks dude
Only then will I have my fill.
This is coming off as so damn cheesy, trying to stick to this 'prey' thing... but in the best, huge freaking grin on my face kind of way.
was a temporary black collar. Just something to last long enough until an official one could be placed on the mare’s neck.
Okay, solved that issue... but again... black collars don't work that way, you cannot 'claim' them like this, and expecting to after one session, like this...... should not work that way. It's just like entering any other relationship, because that is precisely what it is, a relationship, and those kind of take time to build right.
Though again, I can get that IC, he doesn't quite get that.
But if you agree to have this collar placed around your neck I will take care of you and your needs like a good owner should.
"Put on the collar or I won't let you cum?" Again he's treating it way wrong... but on the other hoof, she can just say 'sure' then soon as they are done change her mind... be a bit of a dick move like that... but valid.
the Clocktower one had a special enchantment placed on it to keep him from cutting her flesh.
Alright.... wouldn't that also work just by making sure the blades were to dull to do that rather then relay on an active magical enchantment that might fail? There is a reason it's called a 'fail-safe' after all.
“Now, let’s get this off of you so you will have nothing to hide from your master!”
EHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! See my little rant in Songbird about Dom's destroying personal property of a sub that is not there's to touch and exist on the level above play as their personal property.
On the other hoof, at least here, it could be somewhat safely assumed that she knew something like this was likely to happen and wanted that, or at least was fine with it, plus it's happening early enough that she's not to lost in the feelings to resist. Also far less major then the Collar thing from there.
So... not bad.. just more hitting a personal 'staircase' zone for me.
Slowly, he lowered the claw down her prone form so that they could both savor the sound of the wool being cut.
Oh, wait, so enchanted to cut cloth, but not flesh... still seems complicated... ponies really don't wear that much clothing for it to be a huge thing, and claws like that have got to be one of the most unwieldy ways of doing it.... though not a whole lot of good ways for ponies to do that I guess.
He reminded himself that Moondancer would safeword or ring her bell if that were the case.
In theory true.... but, especially given being so new and all that... never count fully on this being the case, especially with someone new, you never know when they might need to safeword, but be afraid to say it for some reason, always try to pay attention to a sub;s signals, to their state of everything, to be aware if they might be being pushed to far and simply having a bought of S.A.S.S..
Key factor, don't get complacent and put all responsibility on the sub, the Dom needs to take an active role in keeping a watch out for things going wrong too.
but their feathered wings were too soft and better suited for teasing rather than penetration.
Wing play... ALL OF THE UNF!!!!!!
Also, HEY! Don't go knocking pegasi wings! they can be sexy too!
No doubt the mare had had an enema recently
Reduces the 'ick' factor a bit, and good looking out on her part, she really studied and did her work to prepare. As you'd expect from Moondancer. Still a.... I'll pass.... situation for me.
“Please, I’m so close to cumming!”
That's the idea... and yeah, really gotta work on your sex talk, that came of quite stilted, but perfect for a newbie like her.
As much as he wanted to make her his, he didn’t want this game to end so soon.
I know I know I made my point, but this right here is the major issue and really sets off red flags for me. Seeing taking a black collar as a game it is not, it is NOT about 'owning' somepony else, at least not in the level of reality where it matters. The Owning aspect is 100% in play only and taking a black collar has meaning above that which he is ignoring.
so violent he thought he wouldn’t just cum
Assuming that second 'he' is supposed to be 'she'?
He couldn’t help but wonder if her cutie mark was just a super erogenous zone or if it was simply the magic of the stick interacting with the magic of her cutie mark.
Well good, saves me the trouble of having to say that, nice one story.
He looked over his shoulder to gaze at his masterpiece,
Eh so far, hard to call it a 'masterpiece' with how light it's been going and how rather tame and hestant everything has seemed.
HOWEVER! This makes perfect sense given this is all brand new to both of them, and this very much does feel like a brand new Dom trying this out, but one with enough confidence to go and try stuff, that isn't afraid of this, yet doesn't have the experience to really do a lot of things. This... is a pretty damn good showing for a first session for a Dom with high self confidence and the right attitude. He's taking his time, being rather tame, testing things out slowly, getting a feel for what they do, not pushing things.... very great showing for that.
Flapping his wings some more he quickly made his way to where Moondancer laid with the bottle in hoof.
Also, as above, he is paying attention to his Sub and anticipating her needs, working out what she might need but be to lost in things to tell him, paying attention to her condition and serving as an extra layer of security and safety in doing so.
Yeah, Star hunter is a freaking awesome Dom already, just needs experience, but he has got the right mindset down perfectly..... baring his kind of creepy take on what a Black Collar means.
Or, more alluring, all across her face and glasses so he could watch her wipe it off with her hooves before licking them clean.
He is also kinky as fuck in the best possible ways.
So why go after somepony like me?
Two words. "Librarian. Fetish."
“While many of the other might be fine with catch and release, I’d rather bring home what I caught!”
Do I need to say it?
ready to release her the moment it rang or said the safe word.
And again, great showing 1. he's got the right mindset. 2. Cares about his subs and is taking this seriously. 3. Despite his confidence is still new at this and not quite used to thing. Not getting what things mean. No not the collar thing again, but the ready as soon as the bell rings. Once or twice means nothing, and even three rings is not a sign to untie her, just, slow down a bit and give her a chance to catch her breath.
Same for safewords, she could call a Staircase or Clockface and there is no need to untie her, about the only thing that really needs to be undone in the case of a clockface signal in and of itself, is stop actively doing anything, and unbind their mouth if gagged in come way so they can explain the problem. But again this a great, subtle way that shows how new this is to him, and how seriously he takes it, VERY well done.
How that was done, he had no idea.
I wouldn't think about it to hard.
“Well then, let’s fix that,”
Ohhhh.. sexy.. and good job getting to have that fun.
(Also, this is just odd how close some of this is mirroring an RP I'm doing with Penne, just, taking place over a loner period then a single session.)
against her ponut
Just sounds so WEIRD to have ponies think/talk about it with that word.....
“C-Cock,” whimpered Moondancer. “S-S-So g-good.”
So hot!
ruining my ponut for any other cock than yours
1. again with that word.. just, feels so out of place to me. 2. this is.... this sounds like moondancer more or less, dirty, but in such a technical way, like she's letting out a rehearsed speech. Just, putting out facts. Very good.
But not even in his own dreams had he ever heard anything like this said with so much raw passion and desire.
Or not, I heard her saying it in a more low key, matter of fact while still twinged with strains of pleasure and pain way.
He grit his teeth as he realized his folly, struggling to focus on something, anything to stave off his approaching orgasm.
And a really nice touch, he plans this out, but at the same time, kind of can get carried away too. Lost in things and so reacting and not following his own plan in the heat of passion and lust. Very nicely done, he's not 100% in control of things, just trying to act that way and trying to be so as best he can.
“Did I hear you correctly?” asked Star Hunter slowly. “Did you call me your master?”
Well yes you are the Dom in charge of her at the moment. You are her 'master' right now, that does not mean black collar status, red collars and white are the 'property' of whoever is using them at the time and can call them master, it's just, once the session is over, they have no attachment to the Dom, versus Black, where the relationship exists beyond just the 'play' level for the most part and is....... wait been over this.
Make me wear your black collar. Do with me whatever you wish. Just please don’t toss me aside when this is over!”
Red flags EVERYWHERE! on this... and if Starsong or another Den Mother was paying attentions, I could see them... if not stopping at least making note to have a long talk with these two after the end.
She is clearly desperate, way to strong up on lust to make fully thought out decisions, taking advantage of her condition and driving her to this point to get her to agree to something, but the wording makes it even worse, as it can be a case of, her not doing this for the right reasons, for having an attachment and trust for Hunter and makes her want to willingly be his out of that feeling, but, she's only doing it to be taken, to not be tossed aside, that she's simply desperate and latching into the first dom that show interest in her for the sake of feeling like she's wanted. Not a healthy way to form that kind of relationship.
However, he was also worried about what she had said. Did she have abandonment issues?
OHHHHH And he even catches onto that and it was meant as this...... VERY well done story.
But again 'made her submit' =\= 'black collar' He' thinking of things the wrong way.
Even if she had an issue like that, he still wanted her. There was no way he was giving her up. Maybe he could even help her to work through her issues.
Okay, hunter, good idea overall, yes, stay with her, help her, that, that is VERY good.. even finish off the session and let her cum, that is full on still on the have fun and fully in play territory. Do not slap a black collar on her now, you have reason to believe she may not be fully up for that, have issues about it, hold back, TALK about it, as in out of play, no hormones, this is a 100% rationale, above board, decision, and get her the help to deal with her issue FIRST, then take that step.
Then, with a single flick of the claw, he sliced her white collar off.
Ehhhhh hehehehehehe.. see again my rant at Wendy about that... however, at least this time she made clear she wanted a new collar before getting the old one torn up, but again, that is 100% her own personal, not in play, in IRL she owns it property and she did not give you explicit consent to destroy her property, and nothing in any clock tower guides says it can be a thing at all.
Also. 'No collar no play" it's there for a reason beyond consent showing, the moment a collar comes off all play for that sub stops, because the collar has a lot of safety features built in. Singbird could KIND OF get away with that more because these were both HIGHLY experienced members that knew their limit and were very skilled and experienced in doing this safely, plus they had a third party watching the whole thing to act as an extra safety layer. And even then, what he did was 100% outside the rules and only allowed because it was clear how well it fit the scene, and because the sub didn't seem to mind... but he still got chewed out for doing it.
Yes, it seems messing with collar is kind of a peeve of mine for this, there is so much behind what they mean and what they are.....
No, that wasn’t right. It was devotion.
And that comes off as happening WAY to fast and more a factor of her internal issues that need to be addressed for this to be a healthy relationship then actually feeling this way legit after one session.
And if there ever comes a day when you wish to leave me, for whatever reason, I shall allow it as long as it makes you happy.
Ummmm. nononoononononononononononono HELL NO! You do not 'allow' anything, she has full 100% power to do whatever the hell she wants at any time and there is not one thing you can ever do that would require you to 'allow' her to do that. You have 0 real power here, 0 authority of your own. You have only what she allows you to have, but that authority and power over her is 100% her own that she willing cedes to you but can take back at any moment with a single word. I really hope that is meant to be 100% in play only, but right now the lines are kind of blurring, especially cause, again no collar on her means this should not be 'in play' talk and this is way to huge a deal to take any chances on.
“I…I want to have foals one day. But not for a few more years, when I am wearing an adamantite crystal collar. If it’s ok with you…”
And now talking about foals... after one session..... wow these two have a REALLY distorted idea of just what this type of thing means and are rushing into things WAY t damn fast... this is why this sort of thing needs to be something talked about agreed on and discussed out side of play before setting up a play session to make it happen. This is just.. this just escalated things to "Get Dr. Starsong in there NOW to get her head examined because she is really not treating this right" levels of unhealthy feeling.
“I don’t see any problems with that, but we will need to get to know each other better both inside and out of the bedroom before I give you an eternity collar. You do know what that will entail, right?”
And Hunter at least realizes most of this, and is keeping a cool head, he siply doen'st quite get what a black collar means, but is approaching this thing well otherwise.
Seriously, look at this from an outside perspective, if this wasn't Society... this is essentially her, after the first date, telling a guy "I might want to have your kids after we're married." That is some damn creepy behavior.
When she was close enough, the unicorn seemed to dive towards it in a way that made Hunter worry that she might hit her throat hard on the recess.
There is a lot I am worried about from her right now. Among them that.
It was only when it was on securely that Hunter entered her.
Good, so just, kind of skirting on the border of the rules, but still mostly doing this right... likely just me being overly sensitive to this kind of thing after Songbird. Still feel he handled this poorly, but, well enough and the issues are more ones of, being so new he didn't quite understand what he was saying and doing fully... versus Songbird where he knew damn well what he was doing and why it was wrong but did it anyway.
“Looks like the stars have claimed the moon.
That is so damn cheesy, and yet rather sweet.
So yeah,,,, as you can tell, do have some issues.. the overall idea, the writing, everything was really well done and it had a LOT of great stuff..... but the way Hunter just wholly failed to grasp what a black collar meant and how collar and relationship here worked kind of left a sour note.. and Moondancer..... yeah she needs to see Starsong STAT! Because she has issues that need to be worked out professionally. Really hope that was intentional.. Hunter noticed a few things afterall.. and will be addressed later.
Still the epilogue but, while here...yeah for the most part LOVED IT hunter is amazing, and bar the confusion he has over 'claiming' a slave like this and how Black Collars work, he is a freaking AMAZING Dom that shows the right mindset, while also subtly showing his lack of experience in ways that very well done.
Moondancer.... it mostly comes down to if she was supposed to come of as kind of creepy and overly needy and not quite doing this right or not.
8237670 Once again, everything went through Mani while we were going over this story and the ideas attached to it. The idea for this one, special night is the idea of keeping what you catch. Now, please hold on just a moment. This is all done with consent. White collars are aware of this and have the option to say no or end this like anything else in the Society. Are they moving a bit too quickly? Yes, but they aren't running to the alter either. And, like you pointed out Hunter is noticing what is going on with Moondancer so if thing don't work out there is a story option on how to deal with it while trying not to crush her.
Now for random answers!
I put the Yaks in there for comedy as well as adding a bit of variety. I had considered the deer from the comics, but I like the Yaks better if you can believe it.
A lot of this story was condensed as you can tell. I wanted to make this story no more than four or five chapters to make it an easier read. So bits like Hunter taking classes were given a quick overview and some of the things Hunter would have seen in this chapter were cut.
All the no to starlight/twilight. I hate that character. If you like her thats fine.
As I mention on Discord and our chats, there is a chance with Hunter getting a Griffin sub in a sequel.
I guess that's it for now. Have to get back to work. Anyways you have given me something to think about like adding a chapter in the sequel
Seriously Mani.... get us some sexy Twi/Celestia student/teacher roleplay!
oh, you reminded me of an x-rated comic i saw on E-Hentai where an anthro Twilight dresses like a schoolteacher and give Spike an "anatomy lesson"! i think it's called "equestria untamed". and ALL the the "mane 6" mess with Spike in that series. Rarity chains HIM up!
This was a great read, I love the approach of the predator in this CTS fic. I can't wait to see more of it soon.
I freaking love this chapter! Perfect!
Been waiting so long ;-;
twas worth the wait no doubt about it.
This. Is. AWESOME!!
I love it!
This was goood
I wish to report a problem about the like button. It's not letting me smash it fifty bajillion times like I want to.
10/10 beautiful story, love it
What's this, a new story from you? How did I not notice sooner! I must read immediately!
7975792 Been up for a while. 1st non islandverse story I've written in a while
8006637 Well remember that,even though they are more open to different sexual things, not all ponies are into the same kinks. Also remember that having it be an open secret might be the downfall of Clocktower.
It's the weirdest thing. I'm fascinated by the idea of dom/sub play, yet I rarely find a story that appeals to me, except for anything related to Clocktower. Something about this setting just intrigues me.
Where this leaves off is where I'm most interested for the story to go. I want to see what they're like now that they're together, how they are when not in Clocktower. Will they start dating, or pretend to not know each other outside Clocktower? It's the domestics that I can't wait to see.
8007135 Well more stuff will becoming in the sequel. That however might be awhile since once this story is done I am working on the sequel to Pip's Treasure Chest
Throught this whole chapter I imagined Star Hunter talking with High Society Russian accent. It was pretty much dope, the best thing ever and how it should be read.
And the teat sucker ask reminded me of one of the films back in motherland...
Okay now that the whole misunderstanding about The City is cleared up, let's see what we got!
Fair enough, and it makes sense they'd want to be sure that a pony processed things right and wasn't just saying yes out of "SO HORNY!" Though on the other hoof, given just how long the application process can be, would still give time for him to back out.. but still it does make sense. Also want to make sure the members get the idea that they can't base their lives around the Society.
ALL OF MY WANT!
Seriously Mani.... get us some sexy Twi/Celestia student/teacher roleplay!
Or maybe Starlight/Twilight.
Well do get that, but also something that never comes up and just figured... magical fantasy land, they have magic for that. Mostly because, while that does make sense, what's to stop him from getting one at some point after and bringing it in? Just, one of those.. I get why they do it, but still feels like just going through the motions to catch the most obvious stuff, while the deeper reason is allowed to slip by.
Still going with magical crotch rot cures.
Really love going through, giving this info.. but doing it quick enough to not bog things down, making clear how far things go, how serious this is taken, but getting through it as quick as possible while still giving that image.
Was going to say, doubt she'd be in your classes, she didn't even seem like a switch.
Noooooot really. Black does not denote 'his and his alone' when upgraded to it. Ti does mean you are technically their 'owner' but they are still fully free to do whatever the hell they want whenever they want, you would have to clear with your sub that they agree a black collar also meant exclusivity. What about days when one of you can't make it but the other wants to have some fun? Or differing kinks? I mean, yeah it CAN mean that, but it doesn't have to. Plus, a black level relationship is easy to break off at any moment.
BUUUT I also get that this is perfectly in character and fits his mindset to see it this way at this point.
ALL OF THE YES! Also, really loving his tastes.
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Ehhh good luck with that, apparently Griffon Subs are very, very rare compared to Doms. Ponies seem to if anything have more subs, or at least subs and switches then Doms going by the general ratio we've seen. Mostly even enough, but still never see a dom lacking choices for subs (depending on their tastes and ability to not freak themselves out to much to actually claim one.. *cough* Sip *Cough* )
Hmmmm, this does seem just a bit odd. Not The City aspect, but, fresh, brand new Dom having their first introduction to things be a major event like this rather then taking some time to get used to things a bit more first.
Then again, it is a big kink for him.. just.. kind of feels like he might be rushing in a bit to fast.. not Twilight level of clearly not realizing what he is doing fully, he's spot on on that but, does not seem like a wise move leaping right into something major like this. Though do have to start somewhere, likely more a personal preference thing.
Ehhh one aspect of this that is kind of silly.... that the masks hide anything, some of their face yeah but, face has to be one of the last things ponies use for identification. compared to color and cutie mark.
No.. no.. please no... any species but Yaks! Just, I can buy any other species being here but just... yaks are just so so... YAK. SO hard to see them handling this well. And no that is NOT racism.
It's speciesism.
Like I said, masks hide nothing for ponies.
And likely to be a LOT of Den Mothers hiding around every corner watching you.
Good briefing, still seems tad light, but that I prefer more well defined, verbose, and very, very detailed run downs to avoid any confusion.
For one, is this considered a Free-To_use zone where collar stud doesn't matter? Any other special rules like Orange band not being needed to engage in non-con play?
Also as to other concerns, this is already quite different then things are in The Ruins, just for the organization at work and how things are structured more.
Ummm, that really shouldn't matter, black collars could have any fun they wanted too. Again not some binding monogamous deal unless both sides want to treat it that way. Proof is stud colors. Black collars can still have silver studs, meaning 'free-to-us' it's the studs that determine how open they for use, not the collar's base color. The only real difference, is if a Black collar with Silver studs is with her Dom, it's considered polite to get his permission before nailing his slave.
Ehhh don't much like this. (from a 'if I were taking part aspect", not a "reading the story aspect') yes have the guard be a threat, but maybe just a time out, set back, something to punish you for getting caught, but not fully ending any fun at all, really wouldn't like that aspect.
This I liiiike. Still not a fan of the whole, picking random 'junk' up off the street, just... feels wrong to me. At the very least should be Gold or Crystal level play to do that stuff IMO. But, could just be it's hitting some squick center for me that's making it seem worse then it is.
Ummmm.... wut? No seriously wut? How.. how does that work? Going from white to black collar/mask is not about just getting 'caught' it's.. quite literally, a relationship. Now yeah it can happen like that but.. there should never be rules about that like this, it's something fully, utterly and solely between a sub and a dom to decide if they wish to make their relationship 'official' putting a time limit on it like this just.. doesn't feel right at all.
Also how would she 'take your collar' when you wouldn't have a collar for her? Given you wouldn't know her particular collar set up.
Sorry dude, it doesn't work that way. You are not 'claiming' anything unless they want you to, no matter how many you catch.
Good, planning on the same illusion open sky thing for the non-con area, so nice to see that established.
more a general MLP thing but, always odd seeing how different teleportation is treated, with it being seemingly easy in a lot of fics.. yet in the show, we've only ever seen the highest level unicorns do it.
Hmm, interesting way for them to be acting.
Some friend.
And narrative law requires this to be the one he catches, also.. five other unicorns, easy who they are, but the CP? And gain, seems a bit odd to make something major like this one of your first attempts at getting into society play.
Girls... just safeword now and save us all the embarrassment.
Don't worry, I did it for you buddy in fact... I'll do it again for you.
See.. Yaks ruin everything.
Awwwwww... See i WOULD feel bad for her but... well... sorry but, you are much MUCH better off avoiding that Yak. Now, time to go make her feel better. with lots and lots of kinky fucking.
I believe the proper response to that is. "NO DUH NOW GET MOVING!"
See other major difference, like I said, the Ruins, it's mostly focused on the fun you have once you catch them versus the focus on the chase itself.
I can kind of buy Moondancer being able to do that. Also "HAX!"
Moondancer. Lonely shut in nerd till like two month ago Moondancer, leaping across rooftops?
Okay, fair enough story, we just seem to have differing idea on what level is needed for that.
Or to try and put on as good a hunt as she can to make you earn it.
True, but another question is, does she recognize him? That could answer things.
Invisibility spell.
Okay, other form of illusion, but same idea. Also yeah gotta pay attention to random junk lying around to get these things to work right. Even Molly has trouble dealing with multiple variables well.
Time to save her life and then be rewarded with kinky kinky sex.
Also, wow dangerous.....
Not how it works, the moment ANY party involved in a scene says that safeword, it's paused. All involved parties need all use it to resume play afterwards. Not to pause it.
Some pony is nice and horny. Plus yeah, long as she's fine, no reason to stop.
See, this yes, both of them need to say it to start t back up, but not to pause it.
Also that was one fun little chase, very well written and just, maybe not the most ZOMG EDGE OF MY SEAT TENSE! thing ever, but still really really well paced and worked out, nice job.
Now for the REAL fun.
And right into fantasy, heh. Well will help to set the stage right and get things a bit more immersive as he claims his little prize.
D'awwww very sweet, and at the same time creepy and hot and, lots of things. The 'like they had rehearsed' bit is a tad odd, but rest.. ohhhh soooooo hawt!
Like I said, trying to craft a story around this to make things hotter.
And that just made the whole thing SO freaking creepy... thanks dude
This is coming off as so damn cheesy, trying to stick to this 'prey' thing... but in the best, huge freaking grin on my face kind of way.
Okay, solved that issue... but again... black collars don't work that way, you cannot 'claim' them like this, and expecting to after one session, like this...... should not work that way. It's just like entering any other relationship, because that is precisely what it is, a relationship, and those kind of take time to build right.
Though again, I can get that IC, he doesn't quite get that.
"Put on the collar or I won't let you cum?" Again he's treating it way wrong... but on the other hoof, she can just say 'sure' then soon as they are done change her mind... be a bit of a dick move like that... but valid.
Alright.... wouldn't that also work just by making sure the blades were to dull to do that rather then relay on an active magical enchantment that might fail? There is a reason it's called a 'fail-safe' after all.
EHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! See my little rant in Songbird about Dom's destroying personal property of a sub that is not there's to touch and exist on the level above play as their personal property.
On the other hoof, at least here, it could be somewhat safely assumed that she knew something like this was likely to happen and wanted that, or at least was fine with it, plus it's happening early enough that she's not to lost in the feelings to resist. Also far less major then the Collar thing from there.
So... not bad.. just more hitting a personal 'staircase' zone for me.
Oh, wait, so enchanted to cut cloth, but not flesh... still seems complicated... ponies really don't wear that much clothing for it to be a huge thing, and claws like that have got to be one of the most unwieldy ways of doing it.... though not a whole lot of good ways for ponies to do that I guess.
In theory true.... but, especially given being so new and all that... never count fully on this being the case, especially with someone new, you never know when they might need to safeword, but be afraid to say it for some reason, always try to pay attention to a sub;s signals, to their state of everything, to be aware if they might be being pushed to far and simply having a bought of S.A.S.S..
Key factor, don't get complacent and put all responsibility on the sub, the Dom needs to take an active role in keeping a watch out for things going wrong too.
Wing play... ALL OF THE UNF!!!!!!
Also, HEY! Don't go knocking pegasi wings! they can be sexy too!
Reduces the 'ick' factor a bit, and good looking out on her part, she really studied and did her work to prepare. As you'd expect from Moondancer. Still a.... I'll pass.... situation for me.
That's the idea... and yeah, really gotta work on your sex talk, that came of quite stilted, but perfect for a newbie like her.
I know I know I made my point, but this right here is the major issue and really sets off red flags for me. Seeing taking a black collar as a game it is not, it is NOT about 'owning' somepony else, at least not in the level of reality where it matters. The Owning aspect is 100% in play only and taking a black collar has meaning above that which he is ignoring.
Assuming that second 'he' is supposed to be 'she'?
Well good, saves me the trouble of having to say that, nice one story.
Eh so far, hard to call it a 'masterpiece' with how light it's been going and how rather tame and hestant everything has seemed.
HOWEVER! This makes perfect sense given this is all brand new to both of them, and this very much does feel like a brand new Dom trying this out, but one with enough confidence to go and try stuff, that isn't afraid of this, yet doesn't have the experience to really do a lot of things. This... is a pretty damn good showing for a first session for a Dom with high self confidence and the right attitude. He's taking his time, being rather tame, testing things out slowly, getting a feel for what they do, not pushing things.... very great showing for that.
Also, as above, he is paying attention to his Sub and anticipating her needs, working out what she might need but be to lost in things to tell him, paying attention to her condition and serving as an extra layer of security and safety in doing so.
Yeah, Star hunter is a freaking awesome Dom already, just needs experience, but he has got the right mindset down perfectly..... baring his kind of creepy take on what a Black Collar means.
He is also kinky as fuck in the best possible ways.
Two words. "Librarian. Fetish."
Do I need to say it?
And again, great showing 1. he's got the right mindset. 2. Cares about his subs and is taking this seriously. 3. Despite his confidence is still new at this and not quite used to thing. Not getting what things mean. No not the collar thing again, but the ready as soon as the bell rings. Once or twice means nothing, and even three rings is not a sign to untie her, just, slow down a bit and give her a chance to catch her breath.
Same for safewords, she could call a Staircase or Clockface and there is no need to untie her, about the only thing that really needs to be undone in the case of a clockface signal in and of itself, is stop actively doing anything, and unbind their mouth if gagged in come way so they can explain the problem. But again this a great, subtle way that shows how new this is to him, and how seriously he takes it, VERY well done.
I wouldn't think about it to hard.
Ohhhh.. sexy.. and good job getting to have that fun.
(Also, this is just odd how close some of this is mirroring an RP I'm doing with Penne, just, taking place over a loner period then a single session.)
Just sounds so WEIRD to have ponies think/talk about it with that word.....
So hot!
1. again with that word.. just, feels so out of place to me. 2. this is.... this sounds like moondancer more or less, dirty, but in such a technical way, like she's letting out a rehearsed speech. Just, putting out facts. Very good.
Or not, I heard her saying it in a more low key, matter of fact while still twinged with strains of pleasure and pain way.
And a really nice touch, he plans this out, but at the same time, kind of can get carried away too. Lost in things and so reacting and not following his own plan in the heat of passion and lust. Very nicely done, he's not 100% in control of things, just trying to act that way and trying to be so as best he can.
Well yes you are the Dom in charge of her at the moment. You are her 'master' right now, that does not mean black collar status, red collars and white are the 'property' of whoever is using them at the time and can call them master, it's just, once the session is over, they have no attachment to the Dom, versus Black, where the relationship exists beyond just the 'play' level for the most part and is....... wait been over this.
Red flags EVERYWHERE! on this... and if Starsong or another Den Mother was paying attentions, I could see them... if not stopping at least making note to have a long talk with these two after the end.
She is clearly desperate, way to strong up on lust to make fully thought out decisions, taking advantage of her condition and driving her to this point to get her to agree to something, but the wording makes it even worse, as it can be a case of, her not doing this for the right reasons, for having an attachment and trust for Hunter and makes her want to willingly be his out of that feeling, but, she's only doing it to be taken, to not be tossed aside, that she's simply desperate and latching into the first dom that show interest in her for the sake of feeling like she's wanted. Not a healthy way to form that kind of relationship.
OHHHHH And he even catches onto that and it was meant as this...... VERY well done story.
But again 'made her submit' =\= 'black collar' He' thinking of things the wrong way.
Okay, hunter, good idea overall, yes, stay with her, help her, that, that is VERY good.. even finish off the session and let her cum, that is full on still on the have fun and fully in play territory. Do not slap a black collar on her now, you have reason to believe she may not be fully up for that, have issues about it, hold back, TALK about it, as in out of play, no hormones, this is a 100% rationale, above board, decision, and get her the help to deal with her issue FIRST, then take that step.
Ehhhhh hehehehehehe.. see again my rant at Wendy about that... however, at least this time she made clear she wanted a new collar before getting the old one torn up, but again, that is 100% her own personal, not in play, in IRL she owns it property and she did not give you explicit consent to destroy her property, and nothing in any clock tower guides says it can be a thing at all.
Also. 'No collar no play" it's there for a reason beyond consent showing, the moment a collar comes off all play for that sub stops, because the collar has a lot of safety features built in. Singbird could KIND OF get away with that more because these were both HIGHLY experienced members that knew their limit and were very skilled and experienced in doing this safely, plus they had a third party watching the whole thing to act as an extra safety layer. And even then, what he did was 100% outside the rules and only allowed because it was clear how well it fit the scene, and because the sub didn't seem to mind... but he still got chewed out for doing it.
Yes, it seems messing with collar is kind of a peeve of mine for this, there is so much behind what they mean and what they are.....
And that comes off as happening WAY to fast and more a factor of her internal issues that need to be addressed for this to be a healthy relationship then actually feeling this way legit after one session.
Ummmm. nononoononononononononononono HELL NO! You do not 'allow' anything, she has full 100% power to do whatever the hell she wants at any time and there is not one thing you can ever do that would require you to 'allow' her to do that. You have 0 real power here, 0 authority of your own. You have only what she allows you to have, but that authority and power over her is 100% her own that she willing cedes to you but can take back at any moment with a single word. I really hope that is meant to be 100% in play only, but right now the lines are kind of blurring, especially cause, again no collar on her means this should not be 'in play' talk and this is way to huge a deal to take any chances on.
And now talking about foals... after one session..... wow these two have a REALLY distorted idea of just what this type of thing means and are rushing into things WAY t damn fast... this is why this sort of thing needs to be something talked about agreed on and discussed out side of play before setting up a play session to make it happen. This is just.. this just escalated things to "Get Dr. Starsong in there NOW to get her head examined because she is really not treating this right" levels of unhealthy feeling.
And Hunter at least realizes most of this, and is keeping a cool head, he siply doen'st quite get what a black collar means, but is approaching this thing well otherwise.
Seriously, look at this from an outside perspective, if this wasn't Society... this is essentially her, after the first date, telling a guy "I might want to have your kids after we're married." That is some damn creepy behavior.
There is a lot I am worried about from her right now. Among them that.
Good, so just, kind of skirting on the border of the rules, but still mostly doing this right... likely just me being overly sensitive to this kind of thing after Songbird. Still feel he handled this poorly, but, well enough and the issues are more ones of, being so new he didn't quite understand what he was saying and doing fully... versus Songbird where he knew damn well what he was doing and why it was wrong but did it anyway.
That is so damn cheesy, and yet rather sweet.
So yeah,,,, as you can tell, do have some issues.. the overall idea, the writing, everything was really well done and it had a LOT of great stuff..... but the way Hunter just wholly failed to grasp what a black collar meant and how collar and relationship here worked kind of left a sour note.. and Moondancer..... yeah she needs to see Starsong STAT! Because she has issues that need to be worked out professionally. Really hope that was intentional.. Hunter noticed a few things afterall.. and will be addressed later.
Still the epilogue but, while here...yeah for the most part LOVED IT hunter is amazing, and bar the confusion he has over 'claiming' a slave like this and how Black Collars work, he is a freaking AMAZING Dom that shows the right mindset, while also subtly showing his lack of experience in ways that very well done.
Moondancer.... it mostly comes down to if she was supposed to come of as kind of creepy and overly needy and not quite doing this right or not.
Still have the epilogue still to go.
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Once again, everything went through Mani while we were going over this story and the ideas attached to it. The idea for this one, special night is the idea of keeping what you catch. Now, please hold on just a moment. This is all done with consent. White collars are aware of this and have the option to say no or end this like anything else in the Society. Are they moving a bit too quickly? Yes, but they aren't running to the alter either. And, like you pointed out Hunter is noticing what is going on with Moondancer so if thing don't work out there is a story option on how to deal with it while trying not to crush her.
Now for random answers!
I put the Yaks in there for comedy as well as adding a bit of variety. I had considered the deer from the comics, but I like the Yaks better if you can believe it.
A lot of this story was condensed as you can tell. I wanted to make this story no more than four or five chapters to make it an easier read. So bits like Hunter taking classes were given a quick overview and some of the things Hunter would have seen in this chapter were cut.
All the no to starlight/twilight. I hate that character. If you like her thats fine.
As I mention on Discord and our chats, there is a chance with Hunter getting a Griffin sub in a sequel.
I guess that's it for now. Have to get back to work. Anyways you have given me something to think about like adding a chapter in the sequel
Still good but the last chapter finish so much enters.
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oh, you reminded me of an x-rated comic i saw on E-Hentai where an anthro Twilight dresses like a schoolteacher and give Spike an "anatomy lesson"!
i think it's called "equestria untamed".
and ALL the the "mane 6" mess with Spike in that series. Rarity chains HIM up!