Oh man, this was a fantastic read! I especially liked the belly riding part in chapter 2. Well done, and thanks for this amazing story!

think you might have forgotten a futa tag in there... could be wrong, have not read it yet.

This second chapter seemed to jump away fromt he premise of the first very sharply. The first one made it clear that being treated this way by the princess is something of a secret to the public, and the second chapter twilight is paraded around strangers and her friends despite the aforementioned need for secrecy.

7780295

I think you misunderstood the line as it was told in a flash back in which Twilight was very young, implying they were doing it when she would be considered underage.

7780162
Fixed thanks.

This is really good stuff. 'nuff said.

Flash Sentry's butt adventures when?

Ummm... yeah, that happened.

I feel like this was taken from one of my deepest, but not most liked, fetishes. Let me know when you can tell me how you got the ability to read minds, I'd like to know.

All in all, great story, would like to see the end product. (the foals)

+1 rep

7780469
HA maybe eventually, not anytime soon though XD.

Glad someone caught that though, i thought it was funny :P.

I really like the idea of this 'carrying sex'. It's so absurd and entertaining. That Celestia did this so loosely, that all could still see exactly what was happening, it just the best kind of trolling.

7780740
Yeah unfortunately my editor isnt a fan of nsfw. But if your volunteering.... Lemme know.

7780915 i'd do editing... i mean the only reason my stories are horrible is because i'm really bad at planing, but i can always point out errors, i'm just too lazy to fix them, takes to long.

+ i love nsfw stories, especially with twilestia

What's up with your title?

Congratulations on feature, you done clopers proud *sheds a single manly tear*

And another sorry

7782171 He put a period in the title and didn't capitalise reward, that's what.

7782161 That was an error on the part of the writer, not me.

source of the cover image?

7782262
Not even out yet technically. Will be released tmrw sometime and a source added than.

7782241

Fixed, thanks! Was so tired from finishing everything i didnt notice.

I find it very odd that domination and pet play aren't in the fetish list as well. It's possibly the heaviest thing in there out of all of them.

7782821

Whoops slipped my mind. Thanks! Its fixed now.

Holy shit, 11k words count.

All of my fetishes, all of them.

Great story, would pony again. Also that full pic... Dayum.

7784131
Yeah my stories tend to be a little wordy... Sorry if that's something that bothers ya.

This is awesome. Is there any chance you might write a sequel with their kids involved?

7787713

Unlikely i must admit. The story is kind of concluded in my opinion and unless something jumps out at me i don't feel as though a sequel would add anything.

7787738
That's a shame. Oh well, whatever makes the story more genuine.

7803425

As you can tell those were my feelings as well, friggin flash sentry is the worst. Also really glad you caught on to the power dynamics, they are equal and not and i tried to make that apparent. Glad to see it worked out well.

7811369
Yeah ive been posting in editor groups and threads but noone wants to do it. *Shrugs* (Since my usual editor doesnt do clop)
If you find anything specific feel free to quote it and throw it down here and ill fix it but honestly unless someone steps up i dont really want to take away from future projects by going over this one a few more times.

Hmmm.....I'll be honest, this was a bit of a let down for me. The hype of the comments made this sound a lot more appealing than it actually was. The sex was too over the top for me to enjoy it and while I like slave play the spelling errors and over sexualized scenes robbed any sensuality there could be.

I was expecting more, and got less than average. A lot of words, not a lot of sexiness.

That was awesome this just keeps getting better and better.I hope Luna and Flutershy get together and do the same in a sequel and she catches up with her sister in dick size to.

This was delightful. Would love to see more~

can ask f you to do a mini spinn about what happened after the foals wee born?

7971573

I might consider it but i got alot on my plate right now so it wouldnt be awhile. I sorta feel like this story is done and i dont really have anything i feel would add to it... but alot of people have been asking for something like that so i might do a secret update and slip in another chapter if I can come up with something good.

7971643 sweet

“Yes we are. Day off or not it seems,” with a curt nod Celestia cantered down the hall, hardly noticing the twin solutes of her guards.

Salutes i assume as they arent a solution, their more of a problem eh.

8017831

8017819

Fixed. Thanks! Dont suppose youd mind looking over something else of mine eh?

8018513
*shrugs* im no editor, i can only spot the obvious mistakes and probably even missed some here.

Also raged at you just teasing me with the lore, mention Twilight somehow accidentally usurping Cadences position in the hierarchy, without ever again elaborating on it. Sounded so fascinating but you just teased us grr.

8018678
Hahaha im glad someone noticed that. A little tease aint bad though right :P

8018812
I like teasing and foreshadowing in fics, but i expect them to have a purpose and lead to somewhere not just be one off liners with no real meaning to the story, that rustles my jimmies when i keep thinking what it could be for it to be... nothing (important). If its some reference to your other stories i wouldnt know since i didnt read them. Got enough Celestia related fics in my back log to read, going through the shorter ones will take me already ages since there will always be new to add, especially if its a Twilestia one then i go full "Gotta fave them all!" mode. (i might be obsessed with Celestia, but as a song goes "Maybe i like me broken" )

I loved this story. It is one of my top 2 favorites. Can you please make a sequel to this

8085146
Though i can say with certainty that there will not be a sequel to this there will be a spiritual successor to this one with all the same themes. I am excited to see what fans of this story think of the other one.

8085355 I hope the new one comes out soon. I'll definitely read it.

8085435
I have three updates rolling down the pipes one for dash of ego and the other for mommy issues as well as a little side project but after that i am throwing myself fully into this spiritual successor, and dont tell anyone, this is between you and me but ive already got 30 pages done for this story's sort of sequel.

Keep that under your hat though okay? ;)

8085528 ok I will.

Well, just for a start,

her face into her mistress's’ neck,

The ’ after the s is unnecessary. All you needed was mistress's in the (I think) 6 areas you made that mistake.

Chrysalis’ genuine smile disarmed Twilight

Since Chrysalis is singular, the possessive form is Chrysalis's.

Celestia’s words aroused Twilight and filled with shame in equal measure.

This would be "filled her with shame".
Finally for now, and I cannot stress this enough, you must always capitalize I when it's being used as a first-person pronoun. I spotted at least 15 places in the entire chapter just through skimming where you kept it lowercase for some bizarre reason.

Good story.

I still would like to ask two world-building questions:

Noting her powerful aroma and the drooping cock hanging between her back legs. It was far smaller than Celestia’s, and dripped a small but steady stream of precum. Twilight unconsciously licked her lips and made a note to ask about why Luna’s endowments were so much smaller than her sister’s.

Did Twilight get her answer? And if yes, what is it?

Twilight furiously took a few more lines of notation before gently squeezing the white leg that lay draped over her. “I must ask you, Twilight, did you purposefully usurp Cadence to take her position within our hierarchy?”
“I uh, what?”

What she said.

9942181
Its been a couple of years since I wrote this story so I can't actually remember the answer to the first one, and the second was no, it was by accident.

Aww this was so fluffy and raunchy. A hard thing to balance.