- Member Since 26th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen Sunday
Gruvian Scripts
Bringing some class to perversion, but not too much.
Gruvian Scripts
Joined 26th Dec, 2014 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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Gruvian Scripts · 2.5k words · 127 9 · 5.1k views
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Oh shit this is gonna be good
Ow my this is going to be good update
Dame you got som explainin to do.
Pretty sure sunset will be okay with this. She is a pony turned human.
Bwahahaha!!
meep! Oh lordy gracious me oh my, what a throbbing overcooked pickle! Bwahaha... Sorry gruvian, i get tickley geekouts over this fanfic, please provide moar. 
Special.
Mid paragraph break.
Sorry I didn't catch it the first time. I was er, uh, busy reading.
Whens the next one
7788204
Soon. Should have it done by Christmas.
"Eh, he passes the Harness Test. Besides, I understand the appeal. See, Equestria has this species called 'Diamond Dogs' and this one time, at Magic Camp-"
The mythical chapter 2 appears!
I noticed you were confusing colts and fillies. Colts are young male horses, while fillies are young female horses. Unless you're saying that this Sunset was male back in Equestria, I'd edit the chapter to have it make more sense.
"Most found the mold like smell, sicening, but Twilight always found it soothing"
*sickening
7831921
actually no the author worded it right.....
Sunset is best sex teacher.
7832005 How so? You can't just say that. You need to back it up.
7832413
because they are girls talking about who they like....
to flip the gender role, it would be like colts having "filly talk" about which filly they would want to clop with
7832567 Yeah, that doesn't make sense. Human girls call it 'girl talk' when they talk about the guys they like. I'm sure it would translate in the same way with ponies.
I don't know where you got your info, but you might want to double check those sources.
7832588
and you got to keep in mind Sunset is from Equestria and we don't know exactly the terminology is "behind the scenes" (yes I made that joke on purpose), so we just have to go with what Sunset says. Let's just agree to disagree because I am not in the mood for an internet fight because i'm a bit under the weather.
Keep it going! This is great!
Too many unnecessary comma's. The grammar needs an edit. Makes it hard to read and enjoy.
This is good
I love that ending, and I'm REALLY looking forward to the next chapter.
When's the next chapter coming??
plz continue!
Update?
sickening
_________
Cap.
_______
special
_________
Different speaker means separate line for dialog.
________
realigned
____________
A few paragraphs need spacing.
fix paragraph.
_________
Some paragraphs need separating. That's really the biggest problem I've noticed in your chapters. Nothing a scroll through the chapter to make sure everything's nice and separated can't fix.
But I'm looking forward to more of this. It's a pretty interesting ship.
8590536
Chapters still need touching up. But still a fun read.
Just a sort of update, I'm "ending" New Licks, but will continue it in new individual stories.
I've decided doing one off stories as chapters, my original game plan, just, does to really work well with FimFic.
Expect the story, and sexual exploration, to continue in June!
Dis gon b sooooooo guuuuuuuuuuuuud!!
After I bleach my hard drive.
Shouldn't that end with a question mark?
I think you mean "grown". "Groan" is a noise one makes, which expresses one's unwillingness to deal with a situation of some kind. "Grown" is the opposite of "shrank".
I would have expected that he would want to stay with Twilight. Spike's defining character trait is his desire to help others and especially Twilight. Sure he doesn't like being in the shadows but he still often puts the desires of others before his own. You have been doing quite well in portraying that overall here but this seems just a bit too selfish for him.