Two Suns in the Sunset
‘Two Suns in the Sunset’
The train began to climb into the mountains. Twilight gazed out the window, watching Canterlot disappear from view. Her stomach lurched. She wished she could put her discomfort down to something wrong with the train, like the way it tossed from side to side or the droning hum it made as it sped along its tracks. But the passage of the train was eerily smooth, and Twilight knew the humming sound came from the spell used to drive the train forward without the need for an engineer. It was a relatively simple spell, all things considered.
“Hey gloomy gus!” Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly having noticed Twilight wasn’t taking part in the conversation. “What’cha thinking about? It looks like it might be important!”
“I’m thinking about Princess Celestia,” Twilight said without moving her head away from the window. “About what she said earlier.”
-/-
Six ponies stand before Princess Celestia. Long shadows lie over the dormant city of Canterlot. The rising sun turns the floor of the throne room orange.
“My little ponies,” Princess Celestia says, “I have called upon you as the Elements of Harmony to answer a threat that endangers all of Equestria. Early this morning I felt a presence become manifest in the Misted Mountains. Though my magic cannot penetrate the dampening field that exists, I know the presence calls itself The Magi. It is a being from outside of our world, and its goal is to consume and absorb all of the magic that holds Equestria together. I need you, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, to travel to where The Magi is located, and use the magic of the Elements to banish it.”
“We won’t let’cha down, Princess,” Applejack says with enthusiasm.
Princess Celestia smiles. Her horn glows, opening an ornate box that lies before her. Six golden pieces of jewelry float through the air; one for each pony, one for each Element.
“I believe in you, my little ponies.”
-/-
“She didn’t really say that much,” Rainbow Dash said.
“You’d think she’d’ve given us something a little more solid to go on,” Applejack said. “I wonder how she knows about this Magi thing, anyway.”
“She knew about Queen Chrysalis,” Fluttershy pointed out.
“I suppose,” Applejack agreed.
“She’s the Princess,” Twilight said, “I’m sure she has her ways.”
-/-
It is a time when Twilight is much younger. She is still a filly, her cutie mark fresh upon her flank. It tingles with potential.
She trots beside Princess Celestia, looking up at her. The Princess is explaining what being her student will involve. Little Twilight is listening carefully, taking in every word the Princess says. She will remember every one of them, will replay them in sequence many times over before falling asleep this night. She is recording every word and she is also marveling at how amazing it is to be the personal student of the Princess. Princess Celestia is so wise and calm and beautiful. Twilight has never dreamed of having such a perfect teacher. She loves Princess Celestia with all of her heart.
-/-
“She’s very wise,” Fluttershy continued.
“Surely Princess Celestia must know more than she lets on,” said Rarity. “It must be terribly difficult sometimes. Being the Princess, I mean.”
Twilight said nothing. Outside the train, robust trees gave way to stunted huddled shrubs.
-/-
Twilight is walking with Princess Celestia through the castle. The afternoon sun casts long shadows across Canterlot.
“Is it difficult?” Twilight asks, breaking a moment of comfortable silence.
“Is what difficult, Twilight?”
“Raising the moon.”
Princess Celestia smiles. “No, my little pony. The sun and the moon exist in their own cycle as equal but opposed entities. Raising the moon is nothing more than causing the sun to set, and likewise, bringing about the day is only hiding the moon.”
“But you had the other Princess to help before, right? Princess Luna.”
The hitch in Celestia’s gait is imperceptible to all but Twilight Sparkle. “There was more to being the Princess of the Night than raising the moon. I do my best to fill her horseshoes.”
“Do you miss her?” Twilight asks.
“Sometimes. I miss the times we would talk.”
Twilight is quiet for a long moment. Then she asks, “Do you like talking with me?”
Celestia looks down at Twilight and smiles. “I like talking with you very much. You are very wise for your age, Twilight Sparkle.”
When the sun sets below the horizon, Twilight is still beaming.
-/-
The conversation continued. Twilight heard it only as a faint distraction in the background, no different to the humming of the train. She was thinking of Fluttershy’s assessment of Princess Celestia. Very wise. She was very wise. She had lived for such a long time, had seen many things come and go, rise and fall. Twilight knew she shouldn’t doubt her words. Princess Celestia was right about most things.
-/-
Twilight is at a desk, listening to a lesson from Princess Celestia. Twilight hears her words, but she does not hear them. Her mind is elsewhere. Her mind is back in the dream she awoke from this morning, before she was jolted into the world by the bell on her alarm clock.
In the dream, Twilight was working on a paper, and the Princess stood over her shoulder. Her presence was so comforting. Twilight could feel the breath on her neck when Celestia whispered “My faithful student” into her ear, and it sent a sensation like liquid fire running through her stomach.
Twilight is trying to recall the exact way this liquid fire felt.
“Twilight Sparkle?” Princess Celestia asks.
Twilight snaps to attention. “Yes, Princess?”
“Are you feeling unwell, Twilight?” she asks.
“No, Princess.”
“You seem to be occupied with things other than astronomy.”
“I, um.” Twilight looks down at her desk. “I had trouble sleeping last night. I’m sorry, Princess.”
Princess Celestia regards her student for a long moment. “Let us take a walk around the gardens,” she finally says with a smile, “to clear our heads.”
Twilight looks up at her and smiles. “I’d like that.”
-/-
“It ain’t nothing to worry about,” Applejack was saying to Fluttershy, “The Elements here will know what to do.” She patted her pendant in the same way she might pet Winona after a long day of rounding sheep.
“I do hope you’re right,” Fluttershy said.
-/-
It is almost a thousand years previous. It is night. Princess Celestia stands at a window, looking up at the moon.
Six objects lay behind her, relics of an ancient lost time. There were times when they hummed with living energy, channeling what was lost into what is now. Those times were few, but Celestia will never forget any of them. They were the times where all of Equestria was under threat.
Now, they are inert. The five necklaces rust, and the Tiara of Magic – the most powerful Element that binds the other five together – is marred by a jagged crack along the side. The life within them is buried too deep for the Princess to touch – or has it faded entirely, the ancient magic shattered by the interloper that corrupted her sister? No, that isn’t what could have rendered the Elements of Harmony no more than worthless trinkets. If it is anything that dulled their power, it will be the separation of the two sisters, the rulers of Equestria. Luna’s exile has created imbalance in every facet of life, and though Celestia tries to take on her sister's duties, the burden upon her shoulders is momentous. If ever there was a time she wishes for the Elements to blaze to life, it is now.
She looks up at the moon and misses her sister for a thousand different reasons.
-/-
“They’ve worked fine before,” Rainbow pointed out. “Discord, Nightmare Moon. Remember?”
“There’s no reason to think they won’t also be up to the task to deal with this Magi character too,” Rarity added.
“What is it?” Pinkie suddenly asked.
“What’s what?” said Rainbow.
“The Magi, what is it?”
“Weren’t you listening?” Rainbow sighed. “It wants to eat Equestria and we have to stop it doing that.”
“I know that,” Pinkie said, “but what is it?”
“It’s just some big ol’ monster, sugarcube. What it is don’t really matter much compared to what it wants to do.”
“What if it isn’t a monster?” Twilight said, breaking in to the conversation. “What if it was something that never meant to become what it is now? What if it started off as something like any of us?”
A long moment of tense silence followed as each pony considered.
-/-
Twilight is on a balcony in Canterlot Castle with Princess Celestia. A telescope stands between them. It is night. A falling star arcs across the sky; an object burning in the darkness for a brief second, then nothing.
“A shooting star,” Twilight notes.
“Yes,” Princess Celestia agrees. They both have their heads turned towards the sky.
“Almost every society in pony history has believed them to be signs of good luck.”
“I know. The earliest ponies thought they were wishes falling to the ground.”
“I know,” Twilight says. She looks away from the sky to her teacher. “Do you know what I wish, Celestia?”
The use of just her name without title shocks her. Does it show on her face? She does not know. She too looks away from the canvas of stars to her most faithful student. Twilight makes no effort to conceal her emotions. Twilight is an open book before her.
“I… know what you wish, my student,” Celestia says, keeping her voice measured.
Twilight takes a step towards her. Celestia remains in position for an eternity, unmoving. She finally turns her head back to the stars. After a moment, Twilight looks up at the same spot in the sky.
“It’s enough that you know,” Twilight whispers to the night.
-/-
“I trust the Elements,” Applejack said at last. “They fixed Nightmare Moon but didn’t do nothing to Princess Luna. If this Magi thing is anything like that…”
“But what if it’s not?”
“Then we’ll decide when we get there.”
Twilight looked at the floor of the carriage. Her words were whispered, yet perfectly clear.
“What if we make the wrong decision?”
-/-
It is a night when Princess Celestia must make the most important decision she will make in her endless life. It is more difficult than exiling Nightmare Moon, imprisoning her in her sister’s body. The decision is what will be done with Twilight Sparkle.
Twilight is her student. She is mortal, impressionable, and fragile. She is in love with her teacher and mentor. She has great untapped potential, a magical supernova waiting to be released upon Equestria. Celestia has thought the scenario through many times. When Twilight completes her instruction, she would no longer be a student. She would be an equal. Equal in magical ability, and also equal in social standing. They would no longer be student and teacher. They would be peers. When that day comes, Celestia has told herself many times, that day she will allow herself to act upon the feelings she returns to her faithful student.
The time has come to begin the next stage of Twilight Sparkle’s training. She has been away from other ponies for too much of her life. The strongest connection she has to anypony outside of her immediately family is to Celestia, her teacher. Celestia fears advanced magical instruction will be unbalancing, without connections to other ponies to tether her. Yet she also fears what sending Twilight out into the world to study friendship will do to their relationship. It is tenuous now, and Celestia is not immune to the great pangs of loneliness that strike her in the night. If she lost Twilight as she lost her sister… she does not know if even an immortal being can endure two great heartbreaks.
Two paths lie before her. One she walks with Twilight, teaching her to unlock the potential in her to take on the responsibility of raising the moon. The other Twilight walks alone, learning of her own initiative about the magic of friendship. The first is safe, in that Celestia can see its end clearly, but it is dangerous, in that it will be difficult to maintain the boundary of student and teacher. The second is dangerous, in that there is every possibility Twilight may forget her, but it is safe, in that it will make it easier for her to expand her magical power later on. Two paths. Celestia cannot choose between them. It is one day before Nightmare Moon has been banished for a thousand years, and she cannot choose.
So she makes it so she does not need to choose.
She stands on an open platform overlooking all of Canterlot. It is the place in the castle reserved for the most complex of rituals. It has not been used for a day shy of a thousand years. Celestia concentrates, using her magic to expand her consciousness over all of Equestria and beyond, seeing all, sensing all. When she has the impression of the world as it is now, a snapshot of what, at this very moment, is held within the aura of her magic, she wills with all her being, and lifts a new world from the one that exists. It is the exact same world, the same Equestria, the same platform in Canterlot Castle. The same history that led it to this second in time. The same ponies within it go about the same business. Twin worlds, guided by twin suns.
Two Princesses leave the ritual platform to raise the sun. Two Princesses receive frantic letters from two Twilight Sparkles. One Princess composes a letter telling Twilight to go to Ponyville and make some friends; the other composes a letter telling her to prepare for the coming of Nightmare Moon.
-/-
Twilight’s friends crowded around her.
“What are you talking about?” Applejack said at last.
Twilight took a deep breath and, still looking at the ground, said, “The Magi… is me. Twilight Sparkle.”
-/-
Six ponies go to leave the presence of Princess Celestia on a mission. The Princess says, “Twilight Sparkle, could I speak with you in private?”
“What is it, Princess?” Twilight asks as her friends leave.
“I am afraid I did not tell you the whole truth just now. This is information you may wish to keep to yourself.” She pauses to steel herself. “I am the one who is responsible for the appearance of The Magi.”
“But… how?”
“I trust that you have, in your research, encountered the Dimensional Division Ritual?”
“Yes, but… it was you that created the other timeline?” Twilight stares at her mentor, uncomprehending. “Why?”
“There was a choice I was unable to make. Regarding you, my faithful student.”
Twilight’s eyes go wider still. She cannot find the words.
“In the other timeline,” Celestia continues, “you never were assigned to your current position in Ponyville. You confronted Nightmare Moon upon her return, which awakened something in you. You alone banished her to the moon, without the aid of the Elements of Harmony.”
“But… Princess Luna-”
“Was never freed from Nightmare Moon’s influence, no. It was then I became convinced there was no turning back from that particular path. I tried to instruct you in your newfound powers, but…” The Princess trails off.
“But?”
“It was not fast enough for you. You wanted to learn faster than I could teach. When Discord broke free, he offered you understanding of your new ability-”
“And I accepted,” Twilight says, her expression grim, “and became The Magi.”
“If you choose to keep this knowledge from your friends, I will understand.”
Twilight looks at Celestia. Her expression is unreadable.
“I don’t know,” she says.
She leaves the throne room.
-/-
“So,” Twilight said after finishing her explanation, “how can I use the Elements of Harmony when I know that’s what I could be?”
“Element,” said Pinkie.
“What?”
“You said Elements. You’re just one Element of Harmony.”
“That’s not really-” Twilight began.
“It is important,” Rarity insisted. “You are only one Element of Harmony, as is the other you. The Magi.”
“Why is that important?”
“Because the other you didn’t have us!” Rainbow said.
“Your friends,” Fluttershy added.
“That other Twilight didn’t have nopony to really call a friend. You got all of us, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “You’ll do just fine.”
Twilight seized Applejack in a fierce hug. Then Pinkie latched on to Twilight, and then all six of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony were part of a group embrace.
“Thank you, everypony,” Twilight said.
-/-
Six ponies stand before a being from outside time.
The Magi floats inches above the ground, as if it will not sully itself with contact with the mortal soil. Its horn glows with a nimbus of light that is blinding to look at. Its wings are glorious and terrible, luminescent banners drawn with every possible color. A maelstrom of violent violet energy surrounds it, crackling and humming with the force of a conquered and consumed dimension. Its eyes are shining black portals to the empty space of the universe it once called ‘home’. Its mouth drops open, and its voice echoes in the minds of the six brave ponies.
This is what this world sends against The Magi. You are
An vision fills their minds: a gleeful foal dressed up in her mother’s finest gown.
Where is Celestia Who Raises the Sun?
“She didn’t bother coming,” Rainbow shouts. “She had more important stuff to do.”
Your lies, one who is called Rainbow Dash, are
An image of a jagged rock thrown through a taut length of crepe paper manifests in the six ponies' heads.
“Maybe,” Applejack says, “but that don’t mean we can’t tan yer hide and send you back where you came from.”
Do you believe this, one who is called Applejack? You are
An ancient tortoise, exhaling a cloud of dust as its final breath.
before The Magi.
“Enough talk,” says Twilight Sparkle.
The Elements are nothing without the Princesses to command them.
“You’re wrong. The magic of friendship is more powerful than anything even you could imagine. It’s a bond that, once made, can’t be broken by anything under the sun or moon. It’s the magic that ties all of Equestria together, and it’s the magic that will drive you out of it!”
It is
An old pony struggles to bring a spoonful of soup to his lips. A dead branch cracks under the weight of winter snow. A lame calf is set upon by a griffon.
Only power is power.
The Elements of Harmony begin to glow.
No…
Six ponies raise from the ground, their eyes brilliant white suns.
Imposs
-/-
The humming sputtered and stopped. The train silently coasted to a standstill.
“End of the line,” Rainbow said without much humor.
“Guess we have to hoof it from here,” Applejack said.
“Should we follow the tracks?” Fluttershy asked.
“There’s no need,” Twilight said. She indicated a glow in the distance pulsing in a divide between two snow-capped mountains. “We’re going there.”
“Are you ready?” Rarity asked.
“I am,” Twilight said.
“Then let’s do this!” Pinkie cheered.
Six ponies marched towards the glow, prepared to face whatever they found.
-/-
Five ponies have just left the presence of Princess Celestia, victorious over the Magi. Only Twilight remains. The sun is setting.
“The Magi,” Twilight says, “it… she was the last thing left from that other universe.” What she says is part statement, part question.
“And now nothing of it remains,” Celestia says. “Does that trouble you, Twilight?”
“No,” Twilight says at once. “No.”
Silence between them. The sun hangs low in the sky longer than it should.
“Twilight,” the Princess says, “when you feel you are ready to return to me, you have only to ask.”
“I would love to return to you,” Twilight says, her face serious, “and be your student once more.”
Princess Celestia’s expression is unchanged, but Twilight understands everything she is thinking.
“Perhaps that would be for the best,” she says.
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I had an idea about an adventure story where the endboss was an evil Twilight from an alternate dimension/timeline, but I didn't have any other events to stretch it out to be a full story. I also wanted to write something about Twilight's possibly-not-completely-platonic relationship towards Princess Celestia. So I bolted the two ideas together, and then the story practically wrote itself. This is my process for a lot of the things I write.
This is good. Very intense too and original.
Nifty as fuck, dude.
I like this. Rather thoughtful and melancholic. Good job.
Pretty neat.
Galactus Sparkle?
Typo? “I would love you return to you,” Twilight says, her face serious, “and be your student once more.”
Fantastic story!
Is that title a deliberate Pink Floyd reference?
846527
You know that feeling when you must have read a line in your story at least a dozen times while editing and then you're made aware that there's something wrong with it? Sigh. Thanks for catching that, there's always one that gets through.
847234
Absolutely. All my stories so far have titles taken from songs, though what they have to do with the subject matter of each song varies considerably.
Interesting read... I'm not even done yet, but the one thing killing my enjoyment is chronic present tense... read any paragraph out loud and tell me it sounds natural. Even my mind's "on the fly" word substitution is struggling to keep up with this story.
To your credit, I am enjoying the story, and am going to continue reading.
Just know that story telling functions most naturally in a past tense style.
***Finished***
Excellent story concept. I enjoyed this story. I started wondering how to repair the alt universe... till it was made obvious evil Twi obliterated it, and had moved on to ravage the original.
Read your story out loud... like not even just skim it, but use your mouth and read it out loud... you should catch the awkwardness of the present tense style if you do so. Other than that, it was a good story. I gave you a thumbs up, and faved it, for the interesting concept, but consider a re-write. It'll do WONDERS to your rating, making it climb. This story can totally get more stars!
Good luck!
848506
Using present tense was a deliberate choice to separate the tone of the flashbacks/forwards from the tone of the main narrative, much like putting a visual filter on a flashback in a film. I want a stylistic indicator that tells the reader it's time to switch gears from the main scene on the train to the scenes that lead up to/come after it, something that's more than just a visual cue like itallics. It also makes the scenes in present tense more... final, more immutable. They are things that definitely happened, unlike the main narrative which is still happening while the story unfolds and so is subject to change. Present tense is difficult to use, I agree, but that doesn't mean it should never be used.
That was a pretty damn good story. I liked the way that you had the two main arcs of the story; Twilight's relationship with Celestia and the emergence of the Magi, and how you merged them together so well. It was almost like reading two stories at once, yet at the same time only one story
.
The only issue I had was the use of present tense. It made the story a little bit confusing at first, but that's probably just because i'm unused to reading in present tense XD.
All in all, it was a solid, enjoyable story, and i'm looking forwards to more
Well played. The tense changes didn't bother me at all, but the inverted italics took me a minute to adjust to. Italics are usually used for thoughts, flashbacks, and things of the sort, but you seemed to use them to denote the mostly present events. The last section, though, is done in standard text and present tense, like the "flashbacks" were. Clever use of mechanics to tell us the story has changed pace, so to speak, or over analysis/silliness/misunderstanding on my part?
849198
It wasn't intentional when I thought of how to write The Magi, but I did realise that merging the two text formats mirrors the way that the two timelines are encountering each other, so I kept it that way. Happy accident.
So... Twilestia destroys the universe?
933994
More or less, yeah.
Well, that was something else. I like the concept a lot, actually. What if there's more than one timeline where all of the same events (Discord and such) took place? It's something that you don't see too much of, and when you do see it, it's very rarely approached as well as this. I particularly enjoyed your mechanical choices: the italics, the present tense, the Magi talking through images. Very, very cool.
Oh, and a Pink Floyd title.
Galactus?