• Member Since 19th Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen Jun 12th, 2017

Door Belle


Comments ( 71 )

I hope the epilogue has Lowly Servant return to Shining Armor. If not then I tracked this for nonthing

Jesus Christ, you fucked up my feelings really good...if you were going for that mission accomplished.

If you're not going to let Shining have his revenge, have a bit of mercy and let him kill himself. The Shining we know is dead, better to end the death of identity of his original self, to force him to continue life in this new existence is truly the cruelest thing a sentient being can do.

To say I disliked the original story would be understatement most grand. It had multiple characters acting not just out of character, but even the new characters it added had no reason to know certain things they used or knew.

This (story), brings back the feels and admits the faults of the original, but takes them to a conclusion where the two victims try to at least reach a point where they can live with what happened. Don't get me wrong, Cadance is still so far out of character that she is nearly monstrous, but there wasn't much to be done about it, it would have been worse to have her (in this) suddenly swap back to her normal self.

Sad stories are not easy for me to read, and you had me reading through this a few times. But I think it was well worth it, thank you for bringing some closure to two ponies so badly wronged. :eeyup:

This was a scary, creepy story. Often mind control is written of as light hearted and fun. But there is a reason why two of the seven Laws of Magic forbid mental magic.

3rd Law: Thou Shalt Not Invade the Mind of Another
4th Law: Thou Shalt Not Enthrall Another

Cadance has completely destroyed Shining's life and maybe killed other ponies as well. She's almost as much of a monster as Sombra.

Part of me wants to check it out... but a larger part of me isn't sure I can go through what the first one had again...

um, this was already uploaded wasn't it? i read it in the past before now

7788641

This is a sequel to that story.

7788641 There are two sequels to the original; one of them was written by videomaster21xx and the other by me(which is still a work in progress). So you hadto have probably read one of them, because I've never seen this specific one before.

7788652
7788552

We should form a club or something. :derpytongue2:

7788658 Oh definitely, if I ever decide to update mine lol. Seriously, it's been an exact 365 days since I first posted and updated it.

Well I went ahead and read it.

I'm honestly a bit confused on a few things. Mainly just what happened in general. Cadance says it was a 'vacation' and what that means, why the 'new' Shining Armor is acting how he is now, and there has been no mention of kids even though the original ended with the announcement that they were going to have foals, which really makes the whole 'vacation' thing really messed up.

Who was the new Shining Armor before? Did they have a life they've lost?

I'm worried their are more questions then the upcoming epilogue can answer.

7788399

I can't event think of anything out of character in the original Maid To Please story; they were dismissive of serving staff a bit, and Cadence took stupid risks and made foolish mistakes, but there was nothing out of character I can think of. The only unbelievable aspect was how cruel all the serving staff were (Shining's replacement included), who have no original character to break.

Plus, that complaint seems a bit silly considering some of the stories you write.

7788399
7787510
7788474
7788983

Thank all of you for your feedback. There have been some good points brought up that I need to think more about.

V = I x R (Voltage = Current multiplied by Resistance)

R = V / I (Resistance = Voltage divided by Current)

I = V / R (Current = Voltage Divided by Resistance)

[ P = V x I ] P (watts) = V (volts) x I (amps)

[ P = V2 ÷ R ] P (watts) = V2 (volts) ÷ R (Ω)

[ P = I2 x R ] P (watts) = I2 (amps) x R (Ω)

R(parallel) = 1/(1/R1 + 1/R2 + ... 1/R∞)

R(series) = R1 + R2 + ... R∞

Vrms = Vpeak/√2

HP = V*A*Efficiency*PF/746

AU tag added. After some thought and conversation, it was inevitable, if only because of the when and where of the announcement of Cadance's pregnancy in the original story.

7789987

What he said. What are you talking about?

Is the maid in the picture Lowly Servant? And why does she look like Octavia?

7792699

a) Yes
b) Because all black-maned grey mares look a lot like Octavia. (I'm not actually privy to the cover's origins, since it's just the same as the original story's.)

7789038

they were dismissive of serving staff a bit,

That, in itself, is highly out-of-character for Shining and Cadance. As was Cadance's forcing of Shining into doing something he didn't want to do in bed. Like, extremely so. The original story involved, dare I say the word, rape. Cadance, the kind-hearted Princess of Love, raped her husband. That's about as out-of-character as you can get.

7793648

It was highly out of character for princess Cadance to not pay close attention to the maid one day?

Does the established canon for Cadance somehow include her sex life?

I think what's happening is you are seeing bad things happen to a character and then deciding that whatever mistakes that led to it or failed to stop it are out of character.

7794156

It was highly out of character for princess Cadance to not pay close attention to the maid one day?

It is highly out of character for her to treat a maid dismissively.

Does the established canon for Cadance somehow include her sex life?

The established canon for Cadance includes that she is kind and considerate. This means committing rape is out of character. I would think that would be obvious, honestly. :ajbemused:

I think what's happening is you are seeing bad things happen to a character and then deciding that whatever mistakes that led to it or failed to stop it are out of character.

Not remotely. What's really happening is you are having trouble extrapolating personality traits from one situation to another. The last line of the original story:

“Oh, I don’t know,” Princess Cadance said with an unconcerned look. “Don’t concern yourselves with her. She’s only a maid, after all!”

Would never, ever, have left canon Cadance's lips. If you can't see that, then you don't have a basic understanding of how character development works.

7794215

Didn't remember that last line.

Not going to waste time arguing over the bedroom scene being rape.

7794230
There's nothing to argue about.
Question: Did Cadance continue after Shining showed clear distress about what was going on?
Answer: Yes.
Conclusion: It was rape. It's that simple, and it's kind of scary that you think there's something to dispute, there.

7794215
7794251

If you can't see that, then you don't have a basic understanding of how character development works.

It's that simple, and it's kind of scary that you think there's something to dispute, there.

Please explain and discuss your differences rather than making nasty comments about your conversational partner. And please don't do both.

Else, take it to PMs. I don't want this sort of behaviour on my pages.

he de decir lo siguiente. un mal final . de las 3 que cuenta la historia . esta con el final de S A . por lo que le hizo caden .. es un buen final . aunque lamento lo que le paso a shin se lo merece cady por lo que hizo , 8 años es demasiado para una mente y la traicion . perderlo . asi que dijo solo pule los detalles , tal ves una nueva vida para ella uno capitulo , tal vez , solo tal vez trabajar en el castillo de twilight por su libre albedrio , es una sugerencia de las 3 historias cada una tiene el bueno , el malo y el feo , esta es el malo pero muy bueno por que pones las consecuencias de los actos de una princesa que piensa que nunca cometera un error , y como dicen mientras mas alto estes mas grande seran tus errores y mas costosos es la perdida .te felicito buena historia la idea y las consecuencias y el ultimo acto , es lo que puedo decir . :fluttercry::applecry::raritycry:
I must say the following. a not well final one. of the 3 that it counts the history. this with the end of shing. for what made him caden.. it is a good one final. although what I pass to shin complain he/she deserves it cady for that he/she made, 8 years it is too much for a mind and the betrayal. to lose it. so he/she said alone it polishes the particulars, such you see a new life for her one I surrender, perhaps, alone perhaps to work in the twilight castle for their free will, it is a suggestion of the 3 histories each one he/she has the good one, the bad and the ugly one, this it is the bad but very good for that you put the consequences of the acts of a princess that he/she thinks that it will never make an error, and like they say while but high you are but big they will be your errors and but expensive it is the lost one.I congratulate you good history the idea and the consequences and the one finishes act, it is what I can say.

por cierto cuando lei en original lo que mas deseaba era salvar a shing , pero como , como hacerlo cuando lei los otros y este aun mas deseo es poder escribir mi parte para ayudarlo, cada uno de los ponys es mi favorito o me agradan , pero como en cada historia algun cambio algun hecho puede dar que sea un mal pony y sea asi, pero no deja de ser una buena historia , todos tratan que sea el canon pero si algun suceso paso algo que cambio su vista de las cosas , como que luna le menciono a cadance que el trato con los sirviente debe de mantener su distancia lo tomara en cuento . usando lo de la boda si hubiera mantenido su distancia crisality no la toma por sorpresa , como un ejemplo .eso justifica una posible accion , pero no vas a esta poniendo eso para forzar la historia uno como lector debe de pensar que siempre habra algo que genere esa actitud. por lo cual cuando se escribe hay esa posibilidad. bueno es por eso que me gusto por que hay siempre , una razon si uno lo piensa y es por eso que pasan las cosas .
by the way when I read in original that that but he/she wanted it was to save to shing, but I eat, as making it when I even read the other ones and this but I want it is to be able to write my part to help him, each one of the ponys is my favorite one or I like them, but I eat in each history some change some fact he/she can give that it is a bad pony and be this way, but he/she doesn't stop to be a good history, all treat that it is the canon but if some event step something that I change their view of the things, as that moon mentions to cadance that the treatment with the servant should maintain its distance he/she took it in story. using that of the wedding if it had maintained their distance crisality he/she doesn't take it for surprise, as an example. that justifies a possible action, but you don't go to this putting that to force the history one as reader should think that there will always be something that generates that attitude. reason why when one writes there is that possibility. good it is for that reason that I like for that there is always, a reason if one thinks it and it is for that reason that they pass the things.

7795791

I'm having trouble understanding you. I'm bad at Spanish and Google Translate is bad at English.

But if I understand correctly, you're happy that the story is serious and features serious consequences, even if it's a sad and painful end. I'm glad! I hope you'll enjoy the epilogue, which should wrap things up and answer your questions about what comes next for the major characters. The epilogue is in the final stages of editing.

Interestingly, you are not the first to suggest Lowly Servant go to work in Twilight's castle.



¡Hola! Esta es una versión de Google Translate de español.


Tengo problemas para entenderte. Soy malo en español y Google Translate es malo en inglés.

Pero si entiendo correctamente, estás contento de que la historia sea seria y tenga graves consecuencias, aunque sea un final triste y doloroso. ¡Me alegro! Espero que disfrute del epílogo, que debería resumir las cosas y responder a sus preguntas sobre lo que viene a continuación para los personajes principales. El epílogo está en las etapas finales de la edición.

Curiosamente, usted no es el primero en sugerir Lowly Servant ir a trabajar en el castillo de Twilight.

Hi! Sorry, I'm a bit late on getting around to leaving a comment on this.

This was a well-written continuation of the original fic. I can tell you and I are like-minded about the TF/TG themes that appeal to us. For me (and likewise for you, I think) the sex is less interesting than Shining Armor's situation, which is why there's barely any attention given to describing the clop in this fic, except to say, "They did it quickly in the hall," and then move on to the next scene. Personally, I prefer it that way, although I know some other folks are different. To me, the sex is boring. What's exciting is the idea of Shining Armor losing his identity, being brought down to a servile role (or to a schoolfilly's role, as in videomaster's fic); forced not only to become a girl, but to take on a whole new life and persona with none the wiser.

I think that puts us in an odd basket. Readers who are in it for the transformation are disappointed because there isn't as much attention given to the transformation. Readers who are in it for the sex are disappointed because there isn't as much attention given to the sex. Readers who empathize with the characters are horror-stricken because the characters meet a horrible end. But that's the whole point, isn't it? If Shining Armor went back to normal at the end of the story, it wouldn't be exciting to us anymore. The idea of being trapped is a huge part of the allure.

If I'd written my own sequel, it would've been similar to this. I don't think I'd have gone the route of Cadance being in on it. But as to the idea of Lowly Servant *never* returning to normal, nor even being *able* to return to normal—yes, absolutely. In my own hypothetical sequel, I'd imagined the impossible effort of trying to cling to her old identity, living in close proximity to Cadance, and having to see her doppelganger's children every day would eventually wear Lowly Servant down to the point where she'd stop trying to fight what had happened to her—where she'd accept being Lowly Servant out of sheer futility. Therefore, everything that once made Lowly Servant Shining Armor would be eroded away into nothingness, leaving nothing but the scared, obedient maid. There definitely wouldn't be a happy ending.

This seems to fall along similar lines, what with Lowly Servant forced to remain a meek, humble, (perhaps not quite as obedient) mare. I look forward to seeing the epilogue. No idea which way it's going to go, and there seem to be about a dozen possibilities. Does Lowly Servant stay in the castle as a permanent guest resident? Does the Crystal Empire endow her with a generous estate and living stipend, allowing her to retire and even take on her own serving staff? Does doppelganger Shining Armor simply kick her out, forcing her to try and make her way in the world from the bottom-up? If so, is she successful? Or does she realize she's no longer qualified to do anything but scrub floors and wash dishes for the rest of her life, only to wind up at the bottom of the totem pole in some other estate—perhaps at Twilight's castle? Does she hook up with doppelganger Shining Armor? Does she go all Donald Draper and go to meet her "sister," this strange filly she's never met, but somehow feels connected to? Or something else entirely? I can't wait to find out!

7788983

For the most part this story is very clearly-written, but I'll agree with you. There are a few parts where it isn't entirely obvious what's going on, notably when the doppelganger first enters the story. This is my take: Cadance was fully aware of what was going on the whole time. She purposefully left Shining Armor as a maid because she thought he was enjoying it (perhaps viewing eight years as a tiny drop in the bucket, in the context of alicorn lifespans; hence, a "vacation"). Likewise, she purposefully turned some other random maid into her husband, and even enchanted him to be completely dominant toward Lowly Servant. Thus, none of the doppelganger's behavior was premeditated. He was forced to mistreat and take advantage of Lowly Servant, just as Lowly Servant was forced to act out the role of a maid. Hence, the "gilded cage" he makes mention of.

Folks will complain this is OOC behavior on Cadance's part. I won't make any comment, given how many folks have criticized my fic's Cadance of having implausible characterization.

7797781
That sounds like the most likely explanation. Also, given certain comments earlier, I'm assuming the pregnancy might not have happened in this version.

I'm hopeful I didn't track this story just to end up with the same feeling I did from the first one, though I won't downvote it if that's the case.

I think it's pretty obvious, but I don't find any 'allure' or pleasure from the concept of Shining being trapped. To me, and probably many others I couldn't even consider that a good thing. The sad fact is, it makes me sick. It's the same thing that happened with the original fic. The entire experience made me ill, but well it's not my fetish, and yeah fetish is about the best word I can think of to describe it.

And well, we know the rest of the story for that. I could have left a nasty comment and downvoted it, but it was my fault for reading it in the first place. So instead I did the only constructive thing I could to make myself feel better. I wrote my own story and thus Maid to Please 2: Loopholes was born.

7797781
Well, I was gonna make a long-winded comment about hoping that this fic'll turn out to have a good ending, but your reasoning pretty much made me realize that it won't have one. Or well, not the kind of happy ending I'd be looking for.

7797827

I think it's pretty obvious, but I don't find any 'allure' or pleasure from the concept of Shining being trapped. To me, and probably many others I couldn't even consider that a good thing. The sad fact is, it makes me sick.

Good! You're not supposed to be happy for most (maybe any) of what has happened so far. I think the "allure" of a darkfic isn't that what happens makes you happy, though, unless you're a very unusual person.

As far as pregnancy--every bit of the original is canon to this story, although not everything the characters said/say is necessarily true (for example, the new Shining Armor can't possibly be correct that the spell which transformed Lowly Servant to her current body caused the death of the original Lowly Servant in a "there can only be one!" sort of deal, or Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle would be dead, but they're shown alive and well at the end of the original story); that's all I can say for the moment.

7797781

Your response to videomaster is spot on. Apparently I didn't write that part clearly enough, though, so I'll have to work on that in the future because it's not a trivial plot element. In fact, the idea that Cadance was in on it from the start is what inspired this story's final form (This is my final form!). This story does require relatively close reading in places, and I'm not sure leaving that idea up to the close readers to discover was the right choice.

Anyway, it's great to hear your opinion on the story, and we do in fact seem to think along very similar lines. Particularly, with regard to the sex, it was dull and glossed-over on purpose--it's become that much a mundane part of life for the point of view the narrative follows. The only reason it's mentioned at all is to establish that this is how things are.

And so it's not written for the cloppers, nor (with the lack of overt transformation) for the TF fetishists (sexual and otherwise; I have a huge non-sexual fetish for transformation, especially TF+TG). It's written for me, for my co-brainstormer Canary in the Coal Mine, for TwistedSpectrum who inspired it, and for people who like dark stories and themes.

I think that might be part of why you and I get such mixed reactions, incidentally. Everyone on fimfic expects stories tagged "mature" and "sex" to be clop of some sort. That's not what either of us delivered, not primarily.

Thank you again for your comment, and for everything else we've talked about regarding this story.

7798016

If the happy ending you're looking for involves everypony being restored to their rightful places, punishment for everypony who deserves it, and happy outcomes for everypony who deserves them (and doesn't "Lowly Servant" deserve a break after all of this?), then no, what I've written probably isn't what you're looking for, though I hope you'll like it anyway; I did put a lot of work into resolution. (You might also be more interested in videomaster's sequel, Loopholes, if you haven't read it already.)

I mean, the rest of the story is epilogue. If it was going to completely turn the story around, it would be a regular chapter and require a new epilogue. I can't say much about it because spoilers, but it'll be published within a few days.

7798066
Not necessarily all that. I'd just like the real Shining Armor to not be completely dead. A loss of identity, the thing that makes you you is one of the things I find hardest to cope with. Cadance was even going to restore his identity before she realized that she really had condemned Shining Armor to a prison inside himself for 8 years and then ran off with her teleport. I figure she'll feel bad and try and do something.

I mean, reading Shining explain to Cadance that his hope of Cadance figuring it out was all that kept him going and then finding out that she meant all this to happen, and thought he enjoyed it, was heartbreaking. Cadance really needs a moment where she fully realizes just how much she fucked up. Hell, a suicide attempt would be great for shock value and showing how she destroyed who he was, who she loved.

If Shining Armor had to remain as Lowly Servant, if it's irreversable, or someone with the power to do so, doesn't want it reversed, then I'd at least want ponies close to him to know. The little bit of Shining Armor that's still alive hasn't seen his little sister for all that time. Nor his real family.

I'm curious to see what you'll do. The only reason I read this story anyway, was because I read the sypnopsis and felt so uncomfortable for days that I had to read it to find out it was as bad as I thought it was. Thankfully it was a bit better.

7798084

I edited into my previous comment encouragement to read videomaster's take on a sequel, Loopholes, if you haven't already.

Anyway! I completely understand where you're coming from. I'm glad you decided to stick it out and from what you're saying, I believe the epilogue I wrote will at least not be a disappointment (yay!).

Holy shit, this one has the dumbest version of Cadence yet, and given the sheer level of monumental stupidity it required for her to land them all in this situation in the first place, that's saying a helluva lot. The Cadence in the original story was an uppity bitch who was too distracted by getting her rocks off to notice her husband had been replaced by a sadist and a rapist. This one? "Oh, I told him to tell me he was okay while under a spell that makes him obey every single order so therefore he must be okay, all after I sent him on a non-consensual vacation without checking once in EIGHT YEARS if he was actually alright." Holy shit, this Cadence is a new kind of stupid. I'm going to have to invent a new word for that level of mental retardation.

Goddammit, why do I keep coming back to this 'verse? It's just so damned fascinating in the flaming train wreck it produces, and the thing is, nobody has yet to call out the main problem in the original: that Cadence is an elitist bitch with the intelligence of a rhesus monkey who's bungling and unforgivable lack of sympathy for her own staff has resulted in a good stallion being locked up in a situation I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and in a rapist and sexual sadist sitting on the throne of an empire!

7798231

I admit that I laughed just because of how you phrased things.

Yes, Cadance has been a monumental fuck-up, and I played that completely straight because of my treating the original as 100% canon--though I hope you saw that there's a moment of realisation implicit in her sudden disappearance. And I hope you'll enjoy the epilogue.

7798092

I believe the epilogue I wrote will at least not be a disappointment (yay!).

I sure hope so. The problem is, I want Shining Armor to have his life back, but at this point, even Shining Armor himself doesn't want that.

in wait, in wait... tic toc tic toc..:rainbowderp: I no longer tolerate :pinkiecrazy:that pass the following one it doesn't arrive... (I don't fly to eat sugar....):pinkiehappy:

en espera , en espera ... tic toc tic toc .. ya no aguanto ,que paso no llega el siguiente ... ( no vuelo a comer azucar ....)

The maid puns only get worse.

Not what waited, but I will say this "wow" (an unexpected and good end). Of the ends that you don't wait, they don't leave you that flavor of for this I was here, I don't lose my time again. It is an end and events that you close loose ends as points that one didn't think, because Celestia made it. that won and who left.
But to ascend of lvl. good form of to save and to explain the behavior of Cadance.
The reason of their beliefs and errors. That I happen, although they are particulars that you leave to the interpretation of one that to learn Shining or lowly to be able to take the Kingdom. Since you leave that possibility that that experience to take out the good of her. And the last thing that says lets that you can or to publish more in the epilogue or to put sequel, because it is an end open to everything...
"Finally I end up those that can clean those are... "
No lo que esperaba, pero diré esto "wow" :rainbowkiss:(un final inesperado y bueno).:rainbowkiss: De los finales que no esperas, no te dejan ese sabor de para esto estuve aquí, no vuelvo a perder mi tiempo. Es un final y sucesos que cierras cabos sueltos como puntos que uno no pensó, porque Celestia lo hacía .que ganaba y quien dejaba. :derpyderp2:
Pero subir de lvl .buena forma de salvar y explicar el comportamiento de Cadance.:twilightsmile:
El porqué de sus creencias y errores. Que paso, aunque quedan detalles que dejas a la interpretación de uno, que aprender Shining o lowly para poder llevar el reino. Ya que dejas esa posibilidad que esa experiencia sacar lo bueno de ella. Y lo último que dice deja que puedes o editar más en el epilogo o poner secuela, porque es un final abierto a todo...
“Al fin acabo están los que pueden limpiar los...”:trollestia:

Yep, as I thought. The real Shining Armor is dead :(

Also, I think you even made it worse (morally). The good thing is that Flurry Heart is at least from the former Shining and Cadance, but her actual father is now a maid with pretty much no memories anymore of ever being Shining Armor (I'm guessing), her current father isn't really feeling a connection to her, and her mother went into hiding/exile/self-punishment.

:pinkiehappy:There is and my congratulations to the collaborators to publish and to correct, since also I read their histories. although translator uses for it:flutterrage:

:pinkiegasp:Ha y mis felicitaciones a los colaboradores por editar y corregir , ya que también leo sus historias. aunque use traductor para ello:flutterrage:

Having some time to think arrives to this.:twilightblush:

not you that they think the other ones but she had it the idea that they don't see for a long time again that would not have contact another time. That Cadance would suffer a great time.:twilightangry2:
:twilightangry2: And perhaps lowly in a future be Shining again, but to remember that there are still also love and the other Shining the owner,:raritydespair: thinking, having in the mind the other Shining of lagoons, the other situation doesn't expect the possibility to save the love in the way that you made. The idea that the maids can clean the errors of other I am very marked in your history I don't know if they agree the other ones, lemon fresh cleaning in disaster of Cadance and lowly saving her of their car punishment, she gives more to continue :rainbowlaugh: and another sadistic and submissive road, but not without will, or that it arrives at the tragic end. she said being as antecedent that of Celestia :rainbowlaugh: there is even even the lowly possibility to recover to be Shining like lemon of returning to their old life being lowly :rainbowlaugh:, like the two princes said they can learn something to the servient being and as taking even better their Kingdom, clearing is with their small twists, anything with excess, if it is taken with measure Celestia she would say for experience :rainbowlaugh::trollestia::trollestia:
:trixieshiftleft:that they say DbzOrDie. I think that now if but clop amore with lowly, although.
:twilightsheepish:that it sister was she speaking the lowly or the shining? twily and lowly :twilightoops:

Teniendo un poco de tiempo para pensar llegue a esto. Teniendo un poco de tiempo para pensar llegue a esto. :twilightblush:
No se lo que piensen , los otros , pero la tenía la idea de que no se volverían a ver en mucho tiempo, que no tendría contacto otra vez. Que sufriría Cadance un gran tiempo.:twilightangry2::twilightangry2: Y tal vez lowly en un futuro volvería a ser Shining, pero recordar que aún hay amor y el otro Shining la ama también,:raritydespair: pensando, teniendo en la mente el otro Shining de lagunas, la otra situación no esperas la posibilidad de salvar el amor de la forma que hiciste. La idea de que las sirvientas pueden limpiar los errores de otros quedo bien marcada en tu historia no sé si estén de acuerdo los demás, lemon fresh limpiando en desastre de Cadance y lowly salvando a ella de su auto castigo, da más para continuar :rainbowlaugh: y otro camino sádico y sumisa, pero no sin voluntad, o que llegue al final trágico. Dijo aun quedando como antecedente lo de Celestia :rainbowlaugh: hay la posibilidad de lowly aun recuperar a ser Shining como lemon de volver a su antigua vida siendo lowly :rainbowlaugh:, como dije los dos príncipes pueden aprender algo al ser sirvientes y como llevar aún mejor su reino, claro está con sus pequeñas torceduras, nada con exceso, si se lleva con medida diría Celestia por experiencia :rainbowlaugh::trollestia::trollestia:

:trixieshiftleft:que opinan DbzOrDie. pienso que ahora si mas clop amore con lowly, aunque . :twilightblush:
que hermana estaba hablando la lowly o la shining ? twily y lowly :twilightoops:

Well I read it. I feel kinda bad because... I didn't really like it.

It's just... I dunno it doesn't seem to work right. The idea this was suppose to be a vacation still doesn't fit in my opinion. I mean eight years? She did seem to love Shining at the start of the original fic, and the idea she knew this was going on the entire time just doesn't fit. Why not wink at her or something in the hallway then? Why not care about when she ran out of the room crying when it was announced she was pregnant?

What was the point of the fake Shining giving Lowly all those commands? Is the idea Cadance gave those commands to the new Shining in order to 'help with the vacation' It's just such a stretch. :/

I'm still curious as to see Cadance's side of things, but as of now, I'm kinda confused as to what the purpose of this story was. Or to try to phrase it better: What was it setting out to do? I'm hoping Cadance's part will fill in the gaps.

So, assuming that the next chapter will be about Cadance, I hope she'll be feeling some really fucking heavy guilt for what she did to Shining Armor, a man who she supposedly loved and who definitly loved her. She basically tortured him for 8 whole years. She took away his chance to be a father to his child while she was growing up. And when she found out what had happened, knew what Shining really felt and she had her hand on the proverbial release button to restore what little remained of his personality/identityj she ran off out of fear, and 6 months later rather exiled herself, than try and fix her mistake and salvage Shining Armor before he fully disappeared.

I truly hope that at least Twilight will get to know what happened to Shining. I like their personal bond too much to not want her to think everything's fine and dandy and spend time with an imposter who probably doesn't even care. I think it would be sweet if Twilight would attempt to get closer to the mare that Shining is now, get to know her, knowing that maybe if there's a bit of Shining Armor alive in there, he'll not be forsaken by his real family.

Seriously, whatever Cadance's reason is for becoming a maid herself, it can't be anything other than selfish. She's had plenty of time to acknowledge/try to fix her mistakes, and she didn't. This Cadance feels really devoid of love for anyone but herself.

O_O
12 horas envió mi comentario .estoy. En mi trabajo.:rainbowderp:

Seems you gave Cadance the Idiot Ball on this one, Cadance is NOT that dumb, she'd reverse the spell instantly

Login or register to comment