A terrible storm strikes Ponyville without warning. Thanks to Pinkie Pie, Scootaloo makes it to safety in a basement shelter with a few other fillies and colts, but days pass with no word from above and food starts to run out.
Somepony has to go outside.
Born of the brainstorm that spawned Penalt's Equestria, Destroyed and Black Flash by Damaged, and set in the same world. Special thanks to solocitizen, Garnot, Penalt, Damaged, and Cross Lament for their contributions.
Wow. As far as opening chapters go, you have certainly grabbed my attention.
So...Pinkie was getting ponies inside, primarily foals. No mention of Twilight, Fluttershy, or Applejack. Rainbow Dash executed a sonic rain boom-possibly an attempt to dispel the storm? Twilight is either hold up in a building, possibly her castle researching a way to counter the storm, or she was taken.
Now, what is the storm? Well, Pinkie was very insistent that no magic be used whatsoever, not even her abilities. So it's far past the purely physical. Possibly a storm that affects reality? Maybe a literal reality storm that erases anything that doesn't fit with a preconceived notion of reality. Maybe, not certain at this point.
Regardless, something is reacting to the presence of pony magic, and if Pinkie is right it's taking or disappearing them.
Interest piqued. Tracking! Good and compelling start.
Tracking with much interest. I don't have knowledge of the other stories, but this was a great opening chapter.
Oh geez... I didn't need those feels anyway...
7911852 Here is the "origin story" of the series.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/349571/equestria-destroyed
I was really puzzled why I couldn't find those other stories mentioned. Then I changed my settings to "View Mature", and there they are. Just in case anybody else was wondering about this.
If the OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
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I'm glad you liked it, and glad for your thoughts on the goings-on!
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Mildly flattered, over here. Thank you!
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Thank you! And I've been trying to hold myself to a schedule of one update per week, with more being okay. (The holidays were an exception. I didn't have auto-approval and the approvers were on vacation, so I didn't bother trying to post.)
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I don't know. Something interesting to think about.
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You got it! Thanks for posting this for anyone else confused.
Looks promising. I'm going to follow for now.
Please write more!
Curiouser and curiouser...
I think you missed a line break in between the two paragraphs? It's quite decent otherwise.
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Extra white space. Does it not show up on the mobile client or something?
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Ah, that explains it. Sorry.
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Oh, and you get a cookie.
8104153 "The cookie contains sodium benzoate."
"..."
"That's bad."
Huh, the take you did on DT and Scootaloo, with them being frenemies, is interesting. Definitely something fresh compared to the show.
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Damn boy, you grade hard.
wat
What's this, now? Am I missing something?
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Thank you! It's a pretty fun dynamic to write, honestly.
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I like the speculation. I refuse to confirm or deny its correctness. I will say you got a cookie for predicting a heavy third chapter; guessing that Diamond Tiara is going to die is a little too morbid a thing to award a cookie for.
8120759 Oh, I see now. I completely misinterpreted the genre as supernatural horror, where whenever someone uses their magic they die.
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Hmm...
No, "apaulstle" is a silly word. I shan't.
8121211 Oh, i haven't read any of the universe stories. That would probably explain a lot.
Why do I have such a bad habit of digging up stories I enjoy that have long since kicked the bucket? Regardless, for as much of it as there was, I really enjoyed this. The grammar is excellent, the mystery and lingering sense of dread were done up just right (it certainly kept me hooked), and the story incorporates a few concepts and ideas I can honestly say I haven't seen anywhere else. For what it's worth, thanks for sharing this piece.
I have yet to find another horror story that lured me in so well and ramped it up with every chapter while only giving snippets of information from a heavily filtered source in the story. And its cancelled.
I don't know what's going on at all, but this time in a good way. Holy shit there's so much suspense in one chapter!
Holy shit, you really write the bunker despair greatly.
Jesus, this is dark as shit. But goddamnit, there's no continuation to this!
I might pick this up if my schedule allows it.
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If the author doesn’t have an issue with it, please do