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SuperPinkBrony12


I'm a brony and a Pinkie Pie fan but I like all of the mane six, as well as Spike. I hope to provide some entertaining and interesting fanfics for the Brony community.


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Source

(Takes place after the events of "Crusaders of The Lost Mark" but before the events of "The Mane Attraction". Proofread by Smitty91.)

Despite having turned over a new leaf at school, Diamond Tiara's life isn't all sunshine and rainbows now. She still has to contend with her mother, Spoiled Rich, and her behavior. Something that Diamond Tiara dreads every day.

When her father, Filthy Rich, is called out of town for a weekend, to attend an important business meeting, Diamond Tiara pleads with her new friends to invite her over for a sleepover. Surprisingly, the one who accepts is Scootaloo, who Diamond Tiara feels she has almost nothing in common with.

But she and Scootaloo will soon learn that they have more in common than they may have originally thought.

(Featured on 2/27/2016.)

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 55 )

This was an adorable story. I love how you wrote Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo and what they have in common. I also like the explanation about Scootaloo's parents and it's way better (for me at least) than all the "Scootaloo is an orphan and has a tragic life" thing a lot of people go for. Excellent work on this.

As in 'This Weekend' this weekend

No, this weekend.

Oops, sorry for the typo. :fluttershyouch:

(P.S Congrats on the feature. Well deserved.. :twilightsmile: )

6975391 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Hockey season last all year?

6976052 Even when the team isn't playing, he's busy managing them. Managing doesn't end when the playing season ends.

Wait... Which episode or comic is Dizzy Twister in?

6976160 She appears in "Lesson Zero" (she's the pony who says: "They're fighting over that doll.), "Hurricane Fluttershy", "Rainbow Falls", and "Equestria Games", according to the wiki article about her. Her actual name on the wiki is Orange Swirl, but her coat is really amber colored, so she's often called Dizzy Twister.

I think it's great that Dismond Tiaras initials are DDT. A brutal wrestling move

6976964 Also a pesticide that has a devastating effect on the ecosystem, though, thankfully, it was banned in 1972.

Hmmm... A story promising interaction between Diamond Tiara and her parents, as well as Scootaloo and hers. Given the relevance to my interests, I'm going to read this.

~ ~ ~

Overenthusiastic Tiara makes me about as uncomfortable as I'd expect she should be. Maybe it's because I'm not sure if this is the next day, or the next week.

The first paragraph of the second scene leaves me wondering if this is, in fact, a story about Diamond Tiara. :derpytongue2:

+1 to Randolph's appearance.

There may be punctuation missing after dialog attributions, usually preceding more dialogue.

Barnyard Bargains isn't just a local business, eh?

Oh, it is next week.

Dizzy Twister as Scootaloo's mother, and you don't even follow FOME. :derpytongue2: To be fair, I narrowed potential mothers down to two or three ponies for myself, and Dizzy was at the top of that list.

Points for Randolph accompanying her to Silver Spoon's house. That's a genuinely amusing thought.

And the Author's Note. I have to say that my experience with Spoiled Rich has been similar, and I've been fighting very hard not to write her in such a way without reason. I have to say, though, that she did come off a bit flat, both because of how she acted in her scene, and just about every single mention of her from Tiara's perspective being very negative.

I haven't gotten to the 'Scootaloo's family' part of my own works, though that you have picked the same pony for her mother I do find intriguing. I shall proceed with cautious optimism to the second chapter.

"How in Equestria do you know I'm a...?! *ahem*. I mean, a changeling? Me?"

6977223 Yup, it actually almost killed the Bald Eagle in the United States due to the fact that, when it found its way into the eagle's food, it made their eggs crack.

6977371 And the Swainson's Hawk...

I'm just going to suggest that you take another glance at the A.K. Yearling discussion. I think here I can make the case that you should consider pronouns and context a bit more. :derpytongue2:

Pfft. The concert takes place on Sweet Apple Acres. I doubt the CMC would need tickets for Applejack to find them a tree to hide in, at the very least.

Well, confirmation that Dizzy Twister makes a good Scootamom. Her father was somewhat of a non-event for the story.

I hate to bring it up, but there are quite a few errors of mechanics floating around, though I had no trouble whatsoever enjoying the thoughts that you presented. Almost all of the errors are directly related to dialogue. I might suggest giving this a quick look.

All in all, even though small bits of the characterization and dialogue irked me (but I have high standards, and probably biases), I find this to be an enjoyable read.

6977870

Pfft. The concert takes place on Sweet Apple Acres. I doubt the CMC would need tickets for Applejack to find them a tree to hide in, at the very least.

You'll notice that I said the concert Diamond Tiara got tickets to takes place in Manehattan, not Sweet Apple Acres. Hence, why it takes place BEFORE "The Mane Attraction", hope that clears up the confusion.

6977933

Indeed. That error occurred between my seat and my keyboard.

but you are NOT allowed to raid the fridge before breakfast, or after dinner.

But that's the best time for snacks! What's the point of having them if you can't have them after supper?! :pinkiegasp:

For some reason I got a strong feeling that dizzy twist was one of those poor moms that kinda lets their kid do and have a bunch of stuff, then skips stuff for themselves so the kid doesn't think that they're poor, and that would have been rather endearing. But scoot's dad owns a hockey team, so they are rather well off

don't even have a purpose now that they've found their cutie marks

Spoiled Bitch clearly needs a refresher course on what the buck cutie marks are for.

a member of the Tiara family household.

Yeah, no. The Rich family household. You don't name the Jones family after that one Fabiana Marikovskino who changed her name as a prank, do you?

6978018 Except that Diamond Tiara's full name is Diamond Dazzle Tiara. Therefore, Tiara is the family name. Otherwise, her name would be Diamond Dazzle Rich.

6978018 Loled at the first one :rainbowlaugh:

6978077 So now I suppose the family name of those farmers in Ponyville is MacIntosh.

Earth logic need not apply to pony names. In fact, if it did, many characters would be named quite differently.

This is a nice, cute little thing.

but her mother was instant that [ insistent ] maybe ? neat story.

Cute little story.

Very sweet story. I absolutely loved it. Then again, I really like stories starring the reformed Diamond Tiara.

I'm pretty sorry to see this end.

You skip the period whenever you have a character say a second sentence. For example

"It was just a joke," Scootaloo told Diamond Tiara "Guess it wasn't a very well thought out one."

should be

"It was just a joke," Scootaloo told Diamond Tiara. "Guess it wasn't a very well thought out one."

The lack of punctuation is a bit jarring.

6980525 No way?! I actually hit the Feature Box?! That's the first time I've ever had that happen, I didn't think this story would become THAT popular! :pinkiegasp:

6981253 actually its still in the Box.

6981288 I just noticed that a while ago. This is the first time this has ever happened to me!

Good but... not good as well. Things felt weird from the beginning with the Crusaders making Tiara one and her being SO excited about it. It just felt weird and off putting for me for some reason.

And, Spoiled's words to diamond felt... really tame, far tamer than i'd expect from THAT mare.

Overall, it's a start that makes me wanna go further, but it's a bit off putting at the same time, especially how they all feel like their talking a bit too maturely with the whole "Mother" and "Father" all the time. With Tiara, i'd expect Daddy to be there. It just feels more right

Like the last chapter, this wasn't bad, but it had it's things that made my brain nitpick as i read. For one, the fact that Diamond is ALWAYS referred to as Diamond Tiara, both in dialog and narration, sometimes right after Diamond Tiara has already been said, making it feel very redundant.

It's a good story on the whole, but it feels like there was something missing too.

6993607 Well, she said "Mother" and "Father" in "Crusaders of The Lost Mark" and at least a year or two has passed since Season 1, so she's at the age where she probably doesn't usually call her parents "Daddy" or "Mommy" anymore, though I could see Diamond Tiara using "Daddy" from time to time when she's trying to charm him into doing something for her.

Diamond Tiara ... Dizzy Twister ... DT ...

... CO-EEN-SEE-DANCE!? :derpyderp1:

... This Spiled is very different from the one in "A Mother's Love." Since that's basically defined Spoiled's character for me *ahem*, THIS IS WEIRD!!!!!


(Not bad, just weird for me)

This was a very relaxing read. I love such fics that are easy and uncomplicated to read, without high standards.
Bonus points for a sleepover scenario.
BIG bonus points for the Cutie Mark Crusaders capes and the mentioning of Scootaloo's ultralong speech. :heart:
And you nailed Scootaloo's personality 100% accurate, by making clear she doesn't like makeovers and wearing dresses and that she's just forced to wear a dress sometimes. Faved.

And here's just one thing I caught that is a bit odd:

and your first sleepover here with Apple Bloom didn't happen until the night of The Grand Galloping Gala when you two weren't going as plus ones.

I can see that this line is meant to signal the reader which Grand Galloping Gala is meant, but from Dizzy Twister's POV, it is rather silly for her to assume she has to explain Scootaloo which one is meant, cause Scootaloo of course knows at the evening of which Gala her first sleepover with Applebloom happened.
And the fic ends quite abruptly unfortunately. I would love to if it would go on a little longer.
Can I bribe you to write a third chapter?

7004495 Sorry, no. I'm glad you liked what I wrote though.

7005744

You're welcome.
That's a deadpan brush-off, though. :moustache:

So cute! :heart:

Man, Spoiled Rich is such a... not very nice mother.

"I hope you realize who the REAL pillow fight champion is in this household!"

Dizzy Twister, on the other hoof, is now best mother.

"I'll bet every time you and Silver Spoon had pillow fights, she whooped your sorry rump."

I like how Diamond completely fails to deny that she and Silver Spoon have had pillow fights. XD This is such an adorable story.

Where is the third part of the trilogy? I'm really interested in reading it

7122290 you mentioned something I the notes about this story being part of a Diamond Tiara trilogy

7131395 Well, the fanfic that was supposed to be the third part of the "Triology" got deleted due to overwhelmingly negative critical reception.

"I'd rather not say, it's too embarrassing." Sweetie Belle blushed.

I'd kind of love to see that as its own companion piece, or as a bonus chapter.

I know it's not likely to happen, but I can hope.

A story about Diamond Tiara and one of the CMC WITHOUT a romance tag? SIGN ME UP!

I agree, it's not easy to write her. In my fic Spoiled changed after Tiara stood up to her, but everyone has his own thoughts and headcanon

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