• Published 17th Oct 2016
  • 4,776 Views, 33 Comments

Diapers - TheEvilCookie



Twilight asks Rarity a favor

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29
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 4,776

Favor

Twilight Sparkle was sitting in her house alone by herself. She needed something but didn't know how to get it. She then thought of Rarity and how Rarity could get it for her. She went over to see Rarity. Rarity was drinking tea when Twilight walked in. Rarity smiled.

"Hello Twilight! How's your day?" Rarity asked her. Twilight looked at her and then looked around.

Can I ask you a favor? Twilight asked hesitantly. Rarity smiled.

"Why of coarse darling! I would be glad if you did that." Rarity said happily. Twilight smiled and Rarity got up and brewed some tea. While the tea was being made Twilight and Rarity talked.

What is it that you need darling? I'll do anything for you. Rarity said generously.

"Thanks Rarity. Are you sure you would though? No request would be to weird for you?" Twilight said.

"Why of coarse I would. No request would be to weird. I'm the element of generosity. As Rarity said that the tea was finished and Rarity levitated tea over to them and both her and Twilight had a drink. Twilight was extremely nervous as she hoped that Rarity would understand. It would be embarrassing to explain herself. Her heart beat rapidly as she prepared to tell Rarity. She hoped Rarity wouldent ask her why or question her.

"So what is it that you request?" Rarity asked. Twilight took a deep breath and spoke confidently.

"I need a pack of diapers. Extra absorbent." Twilight said getting ready to cry from her embarrassment. Twilight looked down as she was ashamed not knowing if Rarity was generous enough to get diapers for her. Rarity smiled.

I know you think I'm disgusting." Twilight said getting up. Rarity stopped her and spoke to he tot convince her that she wasn't disgusting.

"No! I do not think you are disgusting! You are not disgusting! I don't care if your an ABDL. You are still my friend no matter what your lifestyle is! Don't you dare call yourself disgusting. Being an ABDL is perfectly okay! Don't let anybody tell you it's unnatural because it isn't!" Rarity ranted trying to reassure Twilight. Twilight hugged her tightly and Rarity returned the hug.

"Thank you so much Rarity! You are so kind and generous. Thanks for understanding." Twilight said relieved her friend didn't think she was disgusting.

"Your welcome. And yes I'll get you some diapers. I can buy some at the supermarket." Rarity said smiling. Twilight squealed and hugged her.

"Thank you! I don't want to be seen buying them even though people know that I am an ABDL." Twilight said. Rarity nodded understandingly and rubbed Twilights back to soothe her.

"I understand. Next time don't be scared to ask me for anything. I would get you anything Twilight! Besides my element is generosity. You shouldn't have been scared to ask Twilight as you know I have the gift of generosity!" Rarity said hoping next time Twilight wouldn't be scared to ask her for stuff. Twilight understood.

"Thank you! I will!. Twilight said happily. Rarity smiled. Rarity then spoke.

"What brand do you want?" Rarity asked.

"Any will do just make sure that they are extra absorbent." Twilight said knowing what she wanted. Rarity smiled and went out for her. As Rarity walked to a market she got out her wallet and walked inside. She looked at all the isles. Soon she came upon a big bag of diapers which would last Twilight for a month. And when Twilight would run out she would buy more for her. She grabbed the bag and went to the checkout hoping that nobody would turn their attention to her.

As she waited in line she hoped that nobody would notice her. She tried her best to blend in and acted normal. Soon she paid for the diapers and went to Twilight. She then gave Twilight the bag and Twilight hugged her and said thanks.

"Oh thank you Rarity!" Twilight exclaimed happy that Rarity would get her what she needed. Rarity smiled and caressed Twilights back.

"You are welcome Twilight." Rarity said. Twilight became shy again.

"Um if you don't mind...can I put one on now?" Twilight asked.

"Sure I don't mind." Rarity said calming Twilight. Twilight changed into a diaper hesitantly and stood in front of Rarity.

"I don't look ugly do I?" Twilight asked.

"Of coarse not! You look absolutely adorable!" Rarity said. Twilight sat around and played with a toy for a bit as Rarity watched her lovingly not even bothered by Twilight acting childish. Twilight giggled as she stacked blocks. Rarity kissed Twilight on the head as Twilight played.

Rarity then got onto he floor and played with the blocks herself and helped Twilight build towers as they both had fun building them and knocking them over. Rarity also fed Twilight as they both acted out he entire scenereo of Twilight being a baby. Their worries melted away as Twilight giggled childishly.

Twilight and Rarity had so much fun they lost track of the time. Soon time passed and it was getting late. Twilight and Rarity cleaned up. Soon they were both outside.

"Thanks for everything Rarity." Twilight said,

"Your welcome. Come by any time if you want to hang out or act like a baby." Rarity said offering. Twilight got happy tears in her eyes as she jumped and hugged Rarity. Rarity hugged back. Twilight walked out happy that they could spend time together not even minding how the time was spent.

Rarity was happy that Twilight could confide in her and made sure that Twilight knew never to hesitate in telling her anything as Rarity would never mind what Twilight needed.













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Comments ( 33 )

It's cute but the pacing is far too fast and it's a bit sparse on details.

7649804 I'm glad you liked it. I agree! Diapered ponies are adorable :twilightsmile:

7649952 Thanks! :) Sorry I didn't come up with anything else to add

I liked it, but is a little fast

8138669 I'm glad you liked it! I'm sorry if it's a bit to fast :(

its so cute and is it a pony story or human story

8153279 Thanks! It's a pony story

I must give my thoughts.. In honesty i know what your getting at and its a understandable situation.. However i think the story is too .. short to consider. Plus everything came out of nowhere like a convenience. I think you needed to start the story out with perhaps a Backdrop of twilight panicking of the request She just made to rarity before she made it to the shop. Though the story has a good note... i just think it was Executed poorly. I won't dislike the story but perhaps next time add a little more detail into the story with twilight's background on the situation.

This reply is only to help not to hurt. Please don't be offended by this.

8171785 I'm sorry for not giving a background of her situation. I know that your comment meant to help

It's not bad as a premise, but Rarity is unrealistically okay with everything, Twilight is all too accepting of how accepting she is, there's no real conflict or concern to actually be had, and Rarity pulled out the term "ABDL" far too readily. That brings up the question of why she knew the term to begin with. Does she know another ABDL? Is Rarity an ABDL herself? Did she just read an article about them? This isn't really a story, to be honest, but it's the skeleton of one. You've got all the basic working parts, but it's only the bare bones: there's no meaty storytelling goodness here to bring your story to life.

Also, just for the sake of improving your grammar, the words are "scenario" and "course" instead of " scenereo" and "coarse". Coarse is a word, but it's a description of a rough texture (e.g. sandpaper or the bumpy tops of a LEGO brick), not the positive affirmation you intended. "Element of Generosity" should also be capitalized like this, since it's a title (think of King and Queen here, both titles that are capitalized). A spellchecker would catch the first two (probably. It might not catch "coarse" since it is an actual word), but the latter is something spellcheckers won't know and need a careful proofreader or cautious eye to catch.

8269152 I guess I rushed her acceptance of it or I didn't explain it well enough

"Why of coarse darling! I would be glad if you did that." Rarity said happily. Twilight smiled and Rarity got up and brewed some tea. While the tea was being made Twilight and Rarity talked.

that is the wrong type of course you have there the one you have is like a coarse rock the type i believe you meant was course

What is it that you need darling? I'll do anything for you. Rarity said generously.

needs quotation marks to indicate talking

"Why of coarse I would. No request would be to weird. I'm the element of generosity. As Rarity said that the tea was finished and Rarity levitated tea over to them and both her and Twilight had a drink. Twilight was extremely nervous as she hoped that Rarity would understand. It would be embarrassing to explain herself. Her heart beat rapidly as she prepared to tell Rarity. She hoped Rarity wouldent ask her why or question her.

again wrong type of course and end quotation marks

I know you think I'm disgusting." Twilight said getting up. Rarity stopped her and spoke to he tot convince her that she wasn't disgusting.

you forgot the beginning quotation mark and i think you meant to her to convince not he tot

"Thank you! I will!. Twilight said happily. Rarity smiled. Rarity then spoke.

you forgot the quotation marks at the end

other than the mistakes i pointed out, awesome story looks like a sequel could be in the making, for example, one where Rarity realizes how happy she and Twilight are when they are like that. maybe have Rarity offer to be a mommy to twilight

8607873 Sorry about the mistakes. I actually didn't think a about that idea but it seems like that idea would make a very good sequel. I will think about it. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

8608088
your very welcome and don't worry about the mistakes I just thought you would like to know about them in case you wanted to go back and fix them some day

8608100 I won't worry about the mistakes. Thanks!

8608103
no prob awesome story

8608144 Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

8608152
no problem looking forward to that possible sequel i gave you a follow because of the story you earned it

8608156 Dont worry I'll think about doing a sequel! Thanks so much!

Well your improving maybe you should stick to ABDL

8657158 I have thought about making more ABDL stories but I haven't thought of any other ideas for a new one. I would want my next ABDL story to be better than is one. I have thought about making a sequel to this one where Rarity agrees to be kind of like a mommy for Twilight

8657161
Sure sounds cute

8657173 :) If I do make one for this story it would be this year I would have find out how I would write such a sequel to this story

8657180
Simple: think about how Rarity feels later maybe have her be babied by twilight. Lol. Have fun

8657191 I could probably use that idea. Thanks!

Comment posted by TankCop deleted Feb 13th, 2018

Not as bad as I was expecting. Grammer was okay (a few places here and there needs to be fixed) and the general thing was okay... pacing wasn't good. You should slow down. And why does Rarity just know about Twilight's condition that easily?

8269152
There actually does exist a spell checker that catches grammar. I’ll write a sentence twice to show you the difference.
i sink u could of told me a storie and dun it bettr then this. (no spelling checker.)
I sink u could have told me a story and run it better than this. (spell checker active.)
Not perfect, but an improvement. It also lets you choose different words when it doesn’t know what you mean.
Oh, before I forget, I’m using “Grammarly” at the moment. let’s see how many “advanced issues” it’s found, for which I’d have to pay to get them fixed.
There appear to be five of them in this text at the moment... now six. I’ll stop writing before it jumps to seven.

Now for the story itself. I’m going to be critical, so you get feedback. You shall have to be the judge on whether this is constructive or destructive.
I’ll put it this way: Be glad I swore to myself never to curse.
The story was unrealistic in terms of character action, didn’t show any problem or obstacle to overcome. The telling-showing scale is being kept in balance by an extreme-right racist politician when one of the two is poor, and the other rich. The narrative has many, many grammar errors and the changes in setting were as sudden as they were short. I’m sorry to say, but this is trash.
On the other hand, I’m aware I’m being overcritical: The idea was okay; I’ve seen grammar far worse than this; Inexperienced writers most often have trouble with the narrative; And I have no right to complain for reading a bad story, having chosen to do just that myself and not giving writing a try (yet) myself.
I don’t know when this story was made, but I’m sure that you’ll be able to make better ones in no time at all.

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