• Member Since 9th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Jun 20th, 2018

scribe-feather


A frequent pegasus who posts infrequent stories.

T

On a quiet, peaceful night, the Princess of the Night, Luna journeys through ponies' dreams while looking for nightmares. She stumbles across Twilight Sparkle's dream where she starts to slightly twist it to fulfill her own fantasizes.

(Do not continue reading if you do not approve of diapers, diaper usage, or sexual adult situations. If you do not like it or are under legal age, please do not keep reading.)

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

Karma dictates that Luna end up wetting the bed or other such embarrassing incident.

Any chance for a sequel?

4681247 It's safe to say that every story I write is always open for a sequel, because 'art is never finished, only abandoned'.

I can't say for certain that this story will get a sequel, however if I'm able to think up enough ideas to call for one, it will be made.

4679621 I second this. Sweet karma.

Overall, I really liked this one. A good story always has the reader wondering about the possibilities, and this has that at its finest. Seeing the dreamscape shift as her thoughts drifted was really satisfying, especially when we see the connections between each scene.

Sometimes the treatment of the shifting reality of the dream was handled well, like when Rarity's hat changes, or when Twilight pulled down her training pants. You hadn't mentioned the pants up to that point, but then treated them like they were always there, just like a dream would. But other times you fell short of this, usually by drawing unnecessary attention to things changing. Since they're changing because they're not being thought about, explicitly mentioning the change creates a disconnect between the reader and Twilight.

My biggest gripe about the story is Luna, who seemed unnecessary, especially since it seems like you forgot about her at the end. I can see how she needed to steer the dream down a path it wouldn't take on its own, but it left me wondering where she was at the end, and it felt like an unresolved plot thread.

Like I said, overall it was really interesting and I really liked it. It really makes me wonder how I would try to handle something similar. This is a fic that's going to stay with me, which means it was a job well done.

4685913 Thank you for your feedback. It was very constructive!

I learned after writing this story that dreams are quite difficult to portray in stories. Typically a reader relies on aforementioned details to build up the picture of the scene. Dreams, like you said, don't need that build up and can come up with new details and changed details in an instant. I frequently reverted to my old ways of explaining what the scene looked like at that time as the story went on.

I suppose next time, I should just go with the flow and simply mention details as they pop up rather than building the scene like a normal story. It would be more 'dream-like' if that happened.

As for Luna disappearing in the end. Again, it was all about flow. I wasn't sure what I could say Luna did after Twilight woke up without throwing off the pacing.

Thank you for your feedback and I'm glad the story had it's affect on you.

or is she still sleep in dreamworld.

pffft get a grip twi , i void my waste capacity quite often in dreams and i don't wake up to messes in my bed , you're a friggen alicorn for crying out loud....


man i fucking love dream stuff , if only i could write down everything that happens in all my dreams i'd be the world's most famous writer , so are you saying this was a dream you had then?....

actually there was this dream i had last night which made me want to make a full story out of , idk if i'll have the time or the creativity for my conscious mind to fill in the rest of it with interesting material.....

also clearly you left this fic on a cliff hanger begging it to have a continuation.....

good writing but it needed a plot. Luna needed a bigger role towards the end.

I really hope there will be more Chapters. The end came to fast.

Huh, well this is, something.

4923965 That's pretty much how I feel.

You say Twilight was in a school that she never went to and that isn't possible in a dream. A dream can never create new things.

4707196 Yea. I do too, but it's really annoying, because no matter how much I empty my bladder I find no relief until I finally wake up and do it for real.

7529276 hahaha what does it just keep going in the dreams XD ?...

7529984 Yea. Until I wake up. It's my subconscious telling me I need to go.

I'm not sure what you ment by legal age .. xd .. Hmm 16 maby.

8525023
I believe it refers to the age where a person is no longer a minor which would be 18.

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