BSGS: Birthday Scenario Games Stories: Taking your birthday, or a character's birthday/premier date, putting it into the numerous Birthday Scenario Games, and trying to make a story out of the insane results. Mine turned out an alicorn because of that, despite trying to avoid that. Not a Gary Stu or a self insert.
Verdant Flare. To the castle staff and guard, he's a strange unicorn that showed up not long after Princess Luna's return. To a very select few, for now, he's known as the Alicorn Son of Celestia, returned from wandering and exploring. To the Mane 6, he's a pony with less social skills than Twilight Sparkle.
But no one seems to know anything about him: Where he's been, when he was born, why he left, or even who the father is. The answers will be more confusing than shocking, sans the final one.
i see fun times ahead
Good so far, looking forward to it what's next.
Pony Creator generated Alicorn OC known as the as the "Alicorn Son of Celestia."
...
Oh boy.
I just thought of something... Your Alicorn sounds like Maud Pie. I mean he acts and talks like her. It would be neat for you to ship them both, but looks like Lyra is the one being ship to him?
7489092
Again, in my defense, I was originally avoiding the alicorn thing when I did the Birthday Scenario games, but that was how it turned out. So, I ran with it, despite knowing it might get some bad looks.
Oh lordy. An alicorn OC that's a relative of one of the Princesses. Pony Generated image to boot. And he takes the non-reactive approach to a stupid degree, not even flinching when someone bodily throws him against the wall and holds him there. Never mind thats a good way to hurt someone, this character doesn't even seem to notice.
This is NOT a good way to start a story. The rambling his thoughts out loud makes for a very confusing story flow as there were times I couldn't tell if Celestia or the OC was talking. Way too much time was spent on that stupid plunger section than on, say, establishing this character as anything other than Alicorn OC #120945 Subtype: Royal relation.
By making him an alicorn, no less Celestia's son, you've made this character far more special than he really has any need to be. And next up I anticipate shenanigans in Ponyville with there being decent chance of a love life there in his future.
7489365 This.
7489365 Dude, it's only the first chapter of the story... So far it seems like he is like Maud Pie, which isn't a bad choice for him.
7489876 It's the first chapter in the story and I'm seeing more than a few trends found in almost EVERY alicorn OC story.
Btw, the whole point of pointing shit out early is so it can be caught and fixed.
This isn't half bad, yes the clichés are there but honestly it's not terrible
. If the OC becomes a herd king in the next or so chapters, or is the lost seventh element, or pretty much takes over Twilight's role as MC then yeah I may drop this story, but like I said so far it's not half bad. You should really give some more insight on Verdant , his past, character and flaws so readers can feel something for him. However that cover art is really killing it for me.
Dude are you going to update this story?
my friend are you EVER going to update this story?
I really want to know what happens next, when will the next update be?