Mmm.....Deliciously sexy and hot.

Hot stuff. Great job!

7486581

Thanks!

Not my first time writing this sort of content, but it is my first time writing a clop story intended for publishing on fimfiction. I'll do more if people like 'em.

Please explain to me why I want to shoot Dusk in his dick after reading this.

7487401 You don't like ravishment fantasy, I guess?

I certainly thought it was well done.

7486790 I loved it. You should do more. It was very well-done.

Other than the lack of trigger warnings this was very well done. But you should definitely include non/dubcon warnings in your little note in the description.

... Yeeeeeah. You really need to let people know that this is a rapish breeding story. Its very important that people know what their getting into before reading clop stories like these.

7488883
7489066

Rapish...?

Hmm. Well, okay, looking back on it I guess I can see where it might be interpreted at least as dubcon. I'll add a note.

To explain, the intent I was going for was that she did actually want it the entire time, and was just lost in gooey, hazy morning grogginess - that he was just encouraging her to relax and let go. He did ask her permission before penetrating her and they did express their love for one another at the end...she also pretty much played along with what he was doing with little more than token protests. I dunno if I'd go so far as to call it rapey, but...yeah alright I see what you're saying, how it can be taken in other ways.

Note added!

7489100
Hmm, fair enough. Will admit, I don't like the idea of Dusk Shine breeding Gleaming Shield to stop her from becoming a soldier. I mean, being a member of the guard is a pretty big part of Shining Armour's character, so it would be the same for Gleaming Shield.

7489128

It's alright, I see your point there too. The idea was for her to learn something about herself, since she hadn't actually been a guard yet and they were both at a crossroads in their lives. That and some cloppy fun what I was going for anyway.

7489145
Learning about herself, and learning about it through sex is entirely fine too! Just need to think things through a bit more in the future.

7489188

I think that can be said for both of them in this story!

Oh, cool. How hot. I don't know if you were inspired to write this by my two fics, but it always is nice to see more Gleaming x Dusk clop.

Here's to seeing Gleaming with a full belly :3

7489344

Actually the inspiration came from an image that I...can't share here, heh. Fimfiction rules.

Thanks for letting me know about the fics though. Glad you liked it

7489100

Still doesn't feel like it was a RP-ish.

Maybe an epilogue expressing such? Or a quick addendum to the end there?

Oh, right the clop itself. Hot as fuck. Aside from the whole dubcon dealy.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Didn't expect a clopfic from you.

But, you know. Not complaining.

Dafuq you been reading Dusk?

Seriously, what the hell have you been reading dude.....

7490410

In all honesty, I didn't expect a clopfic from me either! I've done plenty of that sort of writing before, but never in a publishable story format like the above. I was a little nervous about posting something blatantly sexual and held back for awhile, but then I figured, well...you'll never know if you don't try, right?

I've got a sci-fi adventure story, a murder-mystery, a sadfic, etc...and now a clopfic. Guess I'm running the gamut to see where my niche is. I just want to create stories that people enjoy, so even though I'm kind of surprised that Gleam or Shine is now officially my most popular story in terms of view count, rating, and likes (even over my longer running, more involved serial fics) after only two days...but hey, if people like it, I'm doing what I set out to do. I've very happy that people are enjoying my serials and I intend to keep them going, but...perhaps I'll publish some more stuff like this, too

I'm glad that with my high standards nowadays, I can still find a clopfic that's hot 'and' well written. I'm looking forward to seeing more from you

7500271

I've been encouraged to write some more

Thank you very much, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

7500369
Keeping it kinky as well is never a bad idea :p

7500389

I can only hope I accomplish that

great read always love incest stories of Twilight and Shining.

7506215

Wincest!

Yyooooooooooooo, this was insanely hot and well written!

I'm ashamed to admit I hadn't found this sooner.

7518313

Thanks! I got more coming if that's at all useful to know

Love the animation on your profile, by the way!

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~

God damn, Wish. Dubcon and breeding. This is like candy. Mmffff.

And good ol' wincest to boot, the taboo just makes it even hotter.

7545192

Considering a sequel maybe

7545224 i.ytimg.com/vi/fwGNEE4dVqc/maxresdefault.jpg You must, you must, you must!

What is dubcon

7565166

'Dubious Consent'. Situations where the consent of one or more characters to whatever act is occurring in the story is in question.

Shamelessly hot and extremely well written.

Also disturbing on some level, not because of dubcon, but motives. I definitely don't like Dusks attitude on some primal level.

But holy fuck does it turn me the fuck on regardless.

7573850

Then Dusk has done his job

31.media.tumblr.com/12d4ab9d2f6e5724a414057128404bef/tumblr_mhrmbbFqLi1rjzeroo1_500.gif

Please dear lord above WRITE A SEQUEL. So very rarely do I find clop stories that are well written, hot, and may or may not end up with one or more of the characters being related as well as the possibility that the outcome or actions may lead to a new life.

Or in other words incest and pregnancy. And at first I thought myself wierd for liking twi-x-shinnning smut but heyyyy F it.

7751162
The rough draft for the sequel is about half done right now, if that helps to know. Dusk just wants his big sis not to leave him so so much

Glad you enjoyed it! Feedback as to what stories people want to see continued is helpful, as it helps me decide what to prioritize!

7751237
Thanks for the update. In the sequel I don't have any form of requests to take place but I think it'd be nice if gleaming were a few months along with her term while in training and has to be sent back home on leave. With what you said however I doubt you'll change anything by the request of some random but in truth I just want to see where the story goes from here.

7752555
The current setting for the sequel is the same day, just a few hours later. Dusk isn't quite done with his master plan yet

When I think about it, this is extremely manipulative on Dusk's part. Forcing himself on his sister, then impregnating her so that she doesn't go into the royal guard? All because he's too needy and selfish to think of what someone else may want? Never mind that he explicitly said that his sister can't overpower him. There's nothing dubious about it.

That's not cool.

I don't know what it is, but every single clopfic ive read that has Dusk Shine in it, he's always really rapey and/or manipulative as hell.

7797912
I have some softer, much more loving stuff if you're interested in that

7797674
Yeah that was a subject of discussion early on in the comments, when the dubcon tag was first added. His intention was more to encourage her to let go of her inhibitions, guide her, as it were. He did ask permission and express his love for her, and her protests were rather token, but it's also evident that he wants to keep her for himself and he benefits from where he's hoping to guide her, so a focus on the consent issue is one way to interpret it.

7798491

The way you wrote it leaves a vacuum in terms of how Gleaming feels. Whenever she expressed how she feels about a certain act, she gets overshadowed and ignored by Dusk. If there had been a stop in the scene at some point, where they actually discussed where they stood as far as boundaries, Dusk wouldn't read like such a rapist.

If there had been more from her standpoint from how she wanted it, and not just after the gaslighting and coercion from Dusk, it would be different. The way hryou have it now reads that she only wants it after Dusk breaks her down mentally, rather than just breaking an inhibition.

Do you see where I'm coming from?

7798633
Oh, I see where you're coming from, no worries there. I wasn't trying to suggest that you're wrong, and you're certainly not the only one who sees it that way. The story can be read like that. Also, I'm looking at it from the standpoint of the author, and in my head I'm making connections that not every reader is necessarily also going to make.

I think 'rape' is too strong a term, since by definition that suggests a total lack of consent. Granted he did pin her down now and then, but what he was doing was mostly psychological - suggestions/encouragement and whatnot. He never really forced her, and since he was not actively mind controlling her, she could have 'snapped out of it', and made her 'no's into real 'no's, had she really wanted to. It could be argued that the psychological conditioning is in itself a form of non-consensual control, but I don't think the two of them are painted out in such a way that she'd come off as suffering from some sort of prior abuse that would make her feel as though she cannot say 'no for real' to him. It was intended to be ravishment of a target who is actually willing, but doesn't know how to admit it either to her ravisher, or herself.

But, there are reasonable arguments to support both positions. Hence I thought it 'dubious'.

7798701

The part that really tipped the scales for me was when Dusk said that she couldn't overpower him in magic even if she tried. Came off as extremely threatening on his part. The lack of true input from Gleaming's side leaves her mental state pretty vague.

An aftercare scene might have helped.

7798724
He'd intended that just to guide her through the breaking down part a little more, but I suppose that could also be interpreted that way.

I thought the cuddling and the love at the end counted as aftercare

7798865

Just felt super one sided.

If you do a part three, it might do some good to have more from Gleaming's perspective. We see a lot of what Dusk thinks she wants, and not much from her herself. Might be interesting if Dusk goes too far in his power-trip and she calls him out on it.

Would it be better if I took this to PM's?

7798973
Well, if there's a third part the parents will probably be involved, though I can't promise a complete lack of depravity on their part either

Nah, no worries. A writer needs to have a thick skin, and you're just presenting your points - clearly you read it and you're not just randomly hating or commenting on something you don't know anything about. So I chalk this up to a spirited discussion. You're welcome to PM me if you'd rather or desire to, though

7798724 Who cares if it was rape?

7819519

Oi. Don't make me come over there. Rob and I will kick your ass.