Twilight lives her life as The Princess Of Friendship, and whole heartily submits to her duties. Though she is grateful for all that she has, she still feels that something is missing. While Cadence plays match-maker for Twilight, Princess Celestia gives the young alicorn a special friendship task of her own. Twilight must find her passions and pursuit her dreams once more, and with the help of two strangers, what could possibly go wrong?
::Sex Tag For Suggested Content::
Edited Chapter(s) 1--5 by JadeCrossroads
Proofread Chapter(s) 6 Gapeagle
Chapters (10)
This could really work...please update!
7359669 Thank you! ^w^ Chapter 1 is in the making!
Well now, a FlashLight fic - haven't seen one of these in a while. You have a reasonable start here and your ability to describe scenes and bring the imagery to life is pretty good, but I'd say your characterization could use a little bit of work. In general, I'd say both your Twilight and Flash come off as a bit too much over the top in their emotions and reactions.
Twilight's mopiness throughout the chapter feels a bit overdone (we don't need quite as heavy and constant hammering over our heads with the fact that she wants a relationship in her life) and both of Twilight and Flash come across somewhat silly with the stuttering and gawping at the end - these characters never really behave this way in the show, even when embarrassed, so it might be a good idea to dial it back a bit in order to make the interactions more genuine/easier to take seriously.
On the plot side of things, Flash's reasons for being there feel a bit suspect as well - it's quite doubtful that Cadence actually has the authority to order some guards to Twilight's retinue without the latter's say-so, even if it's obvious what she is actually trying to do. It might be better if she simply suggested Flash takes a vacation in Ponyville or some such, while giving him a letter asking for Twilight to give him a place to say for his leave, or some such - something a bit more subtle than the blunt "Cadence ordered me to come guard you".
Those little bits aside though, you seem to have the general quality of writing to produce a quite satisfying story, so I'll be glad to see where it goes :)
7360224 Um...doesn't the description of the story tell you what Cadance is thinking in terms of having Flash Sentry come and be Twilight's guard?
7360131 Yay!
It's nice to see a Flashlight fic! Please don't let all the haters get you down on doing this, please continue!!!
7360224 Thank you very much for your input, it is very useful to have someone else's opinions and help me grow as a writer.
I will say, however, that characterization is the one thing that you will notice. I was purposely trying to make a mopey Twilight in the beginning, but she won't always be like that during the story, it was only extremely obvious when she was by herself. Flash, on the other hand, has little to know characterization in the show and movies...he's pretty much there for unneeded romance. Buuuuuuuut~ that doesn't mean I can't experiment with his personality. I think he would be a dork but try and be sly, (while slightly failing at it). But that's just me. I think, because in the movies (even though I'm not all for the movies), they had an immediate attraction to one another. I wanted to implement that in their "first" meeting. I did want Flash to be all "OMG so cute, dang it!" kind of thing, but trust me their relationship will grow and won't sped so fast that we get road burns.
Thank you again for all your advice, and I will be using it to help me in future chapters ^^
7360289 Yes, it does...but this is only the prologue...so it might be slightly confusing to others what is happening. But all will be explained in the next chapter.
7360293 I don't think there any haters...yet.
Thank you though, I didn't think it was that good, or it wouldn't be that special until it has at least three or so more chapters...I can't wait to continue on with this and see where it goes (makes my day to see people appreciate my work)
7360544 Yeah, I'm trying to make a few FlashLight stories myself...two in particular, one is the focus, the other is a part of the overall story. I wish there were more FlashLight stories on this site.
7361206 same...at least there be some good ones out there...
7361296 True, very true.
Oh yeah! Love your art you make for these two and now I'm excited to read about them. I'm glad to see more fics about this ship. Also I think Twilight does need a staff and guards, Flash being their commander is just a bonus, just to make her life more full.
7367403 Agreed! I hope you'll like the future chapters!
This is a very different take on Flash Sentry...I like it! Please keep going! We need more Flashlight stories on this site! FIGHT THE HATE!!!
7405398 Hehe, thank you
7405711 No prob. Its just nice to see someone writing FlashLight.
I just found this story and I'm loving it so far! Please continue to write more; I can't wait for the next chapter!
7432169 Haha, I will, and thank you very much ^^
If you like this one you might like my other fic (it's Fluttercord) but people are really liking it too
7433836
I'll definitely check it out, thanks for letting me know!
7434869 Your Welcome
7571468 Thank you! :3
Well, looks like Twilight is starting to catch on...
7607998 Indeed
Okay, first off. I do like the potential this story has. I say potential because we really have nothing to go on right now. The main plot has not reviled itself to us. But I do have some small points to make. There's a bit of inconsistencies in the story so far. The most recurring of which is Twi's opinions on her desire to have a special somepony. She wakes up thinking something is missing in her life, then spends the rest of the time up to this point going back and forth on the idea of maybe investing some emotional effort into a relationship. Though that one isnt as glaring as the one with Big Mac. He's gone to take care of Marble in the last chapter, but AJ goes and gets him to help with the nursery? Other than these inconsistencies it's a good idea, and I'm curious where it will go.
7613789 Thank you for your input, it is much appreciated. Yes Twilight is being indesisive at the moment. She doesn't want to invest in a romantic relationship, rather a friendship, but her heart wants more so she keeps going back and forth a bit. I will try and make that more obvious in future chapters, thank you for telling me.
And...OH MY GOSH! I completely forgot about Big Mac not being there! Haha, wow what an error, I'll fix that immediately. Thank you XD
I'm also glad to here that you like it and are looking forward to new chapters. c:
Loving this story and hope it continues. Nice to see the immortality blues get touched upon. Curious how a certain Dark Lord interacts with the rest of the cast. I always figured that Sombra would end up with Twilight. Logically speaking it makes a great deal of sense. Not to mention that Sombra himself is seemingly immortal, leveling the playing field a fair bit.
7636532 I'm glad you're enjoying it!
7637738
I have long been a fan of the Twibra pairing, and I always enjoy seeing how different people interpret pairings of these kind. The dethroned Dark Lord who embodied hatred and a young Princess who personifies friendship. Such a novel pairing.
Not to mention, how to reconcile the idea of loving someone, even knowing that you will outlive them and most the people you know. It's a harrowing thought, what's the point of living forever, if you have no one to share it with.
7637773 I'm glad to see someone enjoys my perspective of writing as much. Its what motivates me to write
I may not be fan of the TwiBra pairing but I will still praise you not only for good writing craft but also for keeping Flash Sentry as character. I may ship him with Twilight but the fact that he remains a character in the story and not a unlikable plot device proves you abilities a writer and keeps me interested in this story and its new direction. Who know may you will the writer that changes me over to a TwiBra fan but as for now i look forward to your next chapter and where you take these characters. Until Brighter Days.
7663291 Thank you very much for the praise. I really appreciate it that you are willing to see the story through the end.
Nice story. I can see this being really good if it gets finished. Keep up da good writing
7702385 Thankies!
Found an error.
I really like where this is going now. I think having Sombra will really change things.
7712628 You're mistaken sir, I'm referring to my legion of alien fighters...
I'm gonna fix it and then go hide in a corner, bye!
Am I the only one who found it curious that in the Alignment averted universe where 'Good' King Sombra was the ruler, he ruled for a thousand years without aging at all? Is that a sign of his race or just a trait that powerful unicorns can achieve? Is that a reason why Celestia wanted him rehabilitated? A chance to get close to the next best thing?
Still I can understand why they would recruit him. The Umbrum are an unknown threat and Sombra isn't welcome back. Luna remind me again why attempted genocide of all life under an endless night isn't as severe as enslaving one measly city with an overinflated ego? Still great update. Looking forward to more.
7714014 Glad you enjoyed!
And great thinking too, I just find it funny that MLP:FIM loves the number 1,000 XD
Very great work! Can't wait to see what happens next! I'll probably be checking out your Editor and your other stories soon too.
you've done a great job sucking me in. XD
7800629 Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed! And yes, you should check her out, she's pretty awesome XD
Interesting. Very interesting...I like this chapter. I wonder where this is gonna go next...
Hmmm...interesting. I can't tell if Sombra was lying there or not.
Great update. Sombra has been weakened but he probably has a plan. Even the ideals of harmony and peace can be made evil if taken to a certain extreme and I don't doubt that Sombra will take every advantage he can get. Well worth the wait.
You made the cover art, right?
8087591 In did, yes.
Is it too early to place bets? My money is on Sombra.
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8089414
He is a a mere shadow of his former self, (pun not intended) so I imagine it will be a while before any major developments happen.
Hey Spike you might want to be careful about who you defend. Glimmer brainwashed her supposed friends and even before her 'redemption' she nearly destroyed the world meddling with time. Compared with conquering one measly city in the ass end of nowhere that's pretty tame. Or are you still upset with him because he tried to kill you?
8089560 We shall see....
Wait were did Flash disappear to in the council room scene. Cadence asks him to stay and he hangs around the exit as Spoke closes the door, then he's just gone? The fuck?
8090564 He be disobeyin' orders, the fiend :v
If you're asking for actual clarity here, Flash pretty much snuck out when the crowd wasn't paying him any attention
(hereallywanted to get back to something,hm?)...he'll find out about Sombra later I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯