• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
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Comments ( 197 )

It's safe to say I won't be going to sleep after that picture...

...Or this story.

Interesting, to say the least. Now I remembered why I don't read the 'Recently uploaded' fics.
Also, the fact that it's still a 2:1 disapproval rating is quite interesting, given the fact that most clop is shot down without any justification.

This... this is way too kinky for me.

will read later. All I can say now.... this sounds dirty, and oh so delicious.

Woof, woof

I'm with BandBrony. This is a little . . . much.

Yea... this is like an evil genie version of a fic I wanted. I wanted Screwloose and some stallion. But this is just... filth. And not in a good way. :pinkiesick:

...ahem. There were a few punctuation errors, suggesting that this needed a little more proofreading, and some of the dialogue felt pornographically forced. But on the whole the story was well-realized, with a good blend of eroticism and realism and a good spin on an old concept. That said, unless your target audience is an extremely specific one, I'm not entirely sure who this story is for. At the end, am I meant to be delighted at the sexual exploits of our heroine and these two gentlecolts, or should I be horrified at the brutal patient abuse and terrible living conditions of this hospital? It doesn't lean quite far enough in either direction, so I find myself walking away from this feeling simply ambivalent.


Don't get me wrong it's good! Just... a bit... much...

This was beautiful so amazing plz more you are. My number one guy to go to when I need to clop thank you for writing this


Shut up boner...


I'm loling at potential penis removal. Anyways, I think you fat fingered a "t" to a "g".

"Should I also give her a sedagive?"

Otherwise I'm entertained.

Me: Boner what are you doing? -_-

Boner: Assuming direct control!

This is.....different....
Oh this is wonderful~!:pinkiesmile:

"the gray stallion screamed as he shot his seed deep within the insane mare's bowels."
Yet another line I wrote that will keep me up at night. :pinkiesick:

'sedagive' is a reference to the film "Young Frankenstein."
Do yourself a favor and watch this Youtube video I found. :rainbowlaugh:
(I apologize in advance for the poor picture quality.)


Clever! I had no idea it was a reference. I just noticed the "T" and the "G" are right next to each other on the keyboard and assumed you slipped.

I've seen Young Frankenstein, but it was years ago and I completely forgot this gag. I always like clever references! Even if I have no idea what they're to!

I was wondering when something like this would appear. Anyway, I liked it. Well done. :pinkiehappy::moustache:

"Find a need and fill it." That's my motto. :ajsmug:
Technically, my motto is "Find a [Blank] and fill it." I replace the 'blank' with a noun appropriate to the situation. :trollestia:

Are you taking about Straight Lace? Yeah. He's definitely the more sadistic of the guards. We'll just have to wait and see if he gets his comeuppance in future installments.

>"I don't care if you light her up like a Hearth's Warming tree," Straight Lace said, "Just promise me that when I do her up the butt it won't feel like I'm sticking a fork in a light socket." pissed myself :rainbowlaugh:

Thanks for the feedback :yay:
The fun thing about extreme stories like this is you get to write dialog that feels perfectly natural in context, :pinkiehappy: but just sounds bizarre anywhere else. :pinkiecrazy:

Is is odd that I found the comment section for this chapter nearly as amusing as the writing itself? Especially Dalek's comment....Having watched a few episodes of Doctor Who today featuring Daleks, I'm left hearing Dalek Sek's(wow, word play I think there) bellowing IM-POSS-IBLE, DA-LEKS CAN-NOT BE A-RROUSED!

As soon as i read Pavlov, my mind was full of piccolo from tfs dragon all z abridged screaming "Curse you Pavlov!"

So, this is furry furrism?:derpyderp2:

I don't even know anymore...

Having sex with a mare who thinks she's a dog...
It's a twisted knot of fetishes. :twilightoops:

Although I definitely wouldn't classify myself as a 'furry' :pinkiesick: I'm just your average foot soldier in the steamy underbelly of Bronyism. :rainbowdetermined2:

Dark humor, oh how I've missed you. :rainbowlaugh:

809229 alright would you fuck screw loose in this condition but great story by the way

Glad you like the story. :twilightblush:
As far as Screw Loose goes, she's less talky and more animalistic than I like my mares to be. :derpytongue2:

This story... I stumbled upon this, and being unfazed by clop, thought to give it a shot. Four chapters later, I'm bizarrely into this. Not so much for the clop, but more because I'm starting to follow the characters. Personal hopes are to see the subtle notes of compassion between Shocker and Screw Loose develop more (even in a master/pet sort of way, it is oddly cute to see them growing fond of each other), and I think I'm on board with everypony else to see Straight Lace get some comeuppance. Really expecting to see a conflict of interest between he and Shocker at some point over this. Perhaps I'm just reading too far into it, since this is clop, which typically avoids "deep story" like a hippie avoids MSG, but I'm quite eager to see what happens!

You know, despite how dirty this is, I'm really starting to like Screw Loose. I think Shocker is too.
She's so cute!

Thanks for the comment! :yay: I can't write mindless clop, so it's nice to hear feedback on the deeper parts of the story. :twilightsmile: Rest assured, there's more in store for our favorite mental patient and her abusive relationship with her guards. :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiehappy:

the picture should say "I'm perfectly normal":rainbowlaugh:

809924 I'm not entirely sure I would say "abusive". Unconventional for damn sure, but it seems to be getting less "abusive" as it goes. Effectively, you've made something incategorical here. Something that sits on the bylines of morality and normalcy, yet still couldn't be viewed as exactly "bad". So, congratulations on twisting that perspective of traditional "romance". :rainbowlaugh:

Great observations! :raritywink:
Perhaps I was too hard on the guards. It is a perplexing romance, isn't it? :pinkiecrazy:

812229 Very. :derpytongue2: At least with Shocker, it seems he's seeing something in it now, despite having began the tryst as basically a way to get off. He's viewing Screw Loose more as another pony now, although a very... eccentric one. :rainbowlaugh: Straight Lace, however, still seems to see her as just an easy lay, which I'm eager to see how that tension builds between the two friends later.

Fair to say, I read too much into things. :twilightsheepish:

wtf man, gang rape of a mental patient in a bit much fuck O_o

i guess i am the only sane human who does not find this arousing or funny at all....this is worse then rape.....

this is not funny, not arousing and very wrong but i am still reading because its like a dark, sad, tragic tale......

Different Strokes for different folks. Even if it's not your cup of tea, I still thank you for the feedback.

814606 *ahem* it's not rape if you're willing.... also, does Equestria even have rape laws? If they don't, then legally there's no such thing as rape, which being a crime isn't a thing if there is no legal representation relating to the subject. (Sorry, felt like bein a douche for a min)

Shocker placed the wetnap on his hoof and began to scrub the dried shit off the mare's ass. The excrement had dried in place.
We get it, she's bad at wiping and it dried on. No need to be so redundant and say it multiple times. you've said it once so saying it again is unneeded. You don't have to say it repeatedly.

Were those the guards from Shed.mov? If not, their descriptions sounded like 'em.

Yet another great clopfic from Bronystories..... yup, that's something i don't ever plan on saying out loud.

It's such a good story. Idk what to say other than woof woof

.... do I smell a Young Doctor Frankenstein reference? Oh movie is the FREAKIN BEST!!!!! DAMMIT!!! Now I need to find that so I can watch it repeatedly..... buck you... think it might be on netflix though *walks away mumbling to self* (would've missed it if not for the Frankensteed and Igor things)

Hmmmm, not sure which I want more: the lesson to stick, or for it to..... bite the dust, so to speak :trollestia: Furthermo- boner? NO! BAD BONER!!! :raritycry: GO AWAY!!!! :raritydespair: NO, BAD BONER!!! BAAAAAAAD!!!!!!! :fluttershbad:

I agree and concur that redundancy is pointless and unnecessary. :trollestia:
Fixed! :raritywink:

ummm, I think the machine does screw around..... from the looks of the table it does.

In quick suck-session, all the cocks were slicked up and ready for action.
I see what you did there :trollestia:

Luna's plot! You're stories are great and all, but if I keep reading them the clop part will finally live up to its name...... yup, wished I hadn't posted that even before I typed it, but I did it anyways. Let the awkward silence begin :facehoof:

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