• Published 23rd Jun 2023
  • 1,612 Views, 55 Comments

The Victor - Unimpressive Chaos Lord



Tirek won. He had all the magic. He had his revenge. At the end of the world, he has nothing but that. Why does it feel so hollow?

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I Won

I won.

So many years ago, piling upon one another, minute by minute, second by second, instant by instant. And as the passage of time fails to reflect upon my indestructible skin, my ancient bones, my tired eyes, I am always aware that I won.

Is that not the definition of victory? I am alive, they are not.

In war that is all that really counts. We fought for so long I no longer remember it. And yet, the futile impact of each magical blast, the arrows that bounced off of me, the mightiest steels that sought to taste my blood, their horrified expressions when they realized they bore no hope for victory… that I remember. How could I forget? Despite it never becoming tiresome, after a while you start to notice the pattern. You become capable of recognizing the creases upon a mother's eyes as she protects her children with her own body. So uncannily so, that half the time you forget exactly those whose screams pound on your eardrums, slowly dying out as they are engulfed in flames.

It all became predictable after a while. I grew accustomed to the sound of drums in the distance as I ravaged across the Zebra Lands. I could no longer be surprised by the delightful cawing announcing an assault by the griffons. The crackling in the air anticipating the arrival of the dragons seconds before battle no longer enthralled me. The screams…

Those magnificent screams. I would have never believed such despair was possible before I witnessed it myself. I stomped the ground, my heart pounding, my breath frantic, my hands tightening in anticipation before the oncoming slaughter. War was my muse, blood was her gratitude and the scent of death was as enrapturing as it was repugnant. I got used to the screams. The cries of warriors fighting for what is just, for their homes, for their pride, sometimes merely to content their own muses. Defiant, powerful and alluring. They were the shrieks of those who were ready to die.

Now… silence has extended its mantle upon the world that once was a cacophony of terror. The whispering winds gently caress my skin, my fur dancing at its command. Sometimes I wonder why, whether it is due to the abysmal quietness, or my heightened senses by the magic I consumed, but with every single waft of breeze I can hear the dust and sand it bears, the crackling noise of the diminutive rocks impacting against one another. I cannot feel their touch, but I think I remember how it was. Always with a terrifying uncertainty. I miss so many things, lost to time, sensation and memory…

But above it all, I miss the screams. This silence is something that was not meant to be. And then a spiteful voice which has been subject of my deepest hatred puts an end to it.

“Another beautiful, sunless, bleak and dead day, is it not?”

I growl under my breath. I remember when he used to fear me. In moments like this I recall our reunion so many years ago, and the way terror marked upon his face, even for just a second, before defiance firmly secured itself and it thrust him against me ever so futilely.

I regain my composure.

“I prefer them this way.” I respond, never turning back.

“It clearly suits you. Hopeless, pained and depressing. So mighty and so helpless at the same time.” I can clearly hear the smile outlined upon his lips, his eyes contracted with proud derision.

“I would rather not listen to you weeping at the sight of the sky, as you did last time.” I answer, my anger only leaking through in the last syllable.

Fortunately, this seems to work. Either I have struck a nerve, or he has grown bored with our verbal skirmish. I feel tempted to look back, but I will not give him the satisfaction. Instead, I continue walking with the familiar sound of my steps and the quake of the earth as a discordant orchestra. Funny word, it brings an old… companion back to mind. I hush that thought and continue my endless journey.

Even a scarred warrior such as myself can appreciate the beauty of the sunset. It is curious, though, as the only times when I felt so enraptured were so many years, millennia, ago, when I was but a child. I do remember that. The sun rising from behind the distant mountains, projecting a shadow that grew thicker with each passing minute, only to diminish into nothingness by the end of the day. The arid deserts we called our home, cacti, spikes and cracks extending across an endless ocean of dirt, stone and sand. I used to stand on the balcony of the palace, with Mother by my side, basking ourselves in the gelid air the night had left, only to be greeted by the warmth of the sun. Not until many years later would I truly discover who pulled the string that lifted the solar sphere. Not until later would I yearn for the control of that which I had admired during my youth. Not until later would I snatch it from the grasp of whom would become my greatest enemies.

But now it is mine. My most prized possession. Even with the world in the palm of my hand, the golden sphere is my last remaining source of pride.


I sit at the end of a cliff, my front legs dangling carelessly by the border, contemplating the moonlight pouring over the wastelands. Despite my titanic size, this plunge can still be deemed as considerable. Were I to fall I would leave quite the crater. Fortunately, the cliff is solid enough to stand my weight. I inhale deeply, the air filling my massive lungs, and then I sigh. It is rather pleasant to be like this. I could stay in here as long as I wanted. When you are in control of the cycle of days and nights time becomes irrelevant. The silence is so absolute, so omnipresent, that if I threw a rock into the far away mountains I would be able to hear it strike. However, a yawn disrupts this peace. I hear a drowned murmur as he, I presume, stretches as far as the limits of his prison allow him to.

“Good morning, Tirek. Is everything as dead as it was yesterday?”

“Good morning, brother. You already know the answer to that.”

Scorpan scoffs. I raise my hand and with my finger pointing up and I direct him to move forward. The bubble that serves as his confinement slowly approaches until he is directly by my side. I then move it higher so he is floating right by my shoulder.

“I thought you might want to see the dawn.” I say with indifference. During each sunrise I always offer the same invitation, one he tends to accept. On days he's too taciturn I simply obfuscate the light through his bubble and wait until night to let it in once more. I don't think of it as punishment; that would imply there is some behavior I intend to rectify. I simply do it because I can.

“Why not? There's not much to see anyway...” he replies, barely a grumble.

I sense the magic coursing through my veins, flooding ever fiber of my body, invigorating me with a reminder of my true power. When I absorb magic it feels like pouring water onto a puddle. Then it becomes a lake. Progressively, a sea. And finally, an ocean. Unconcerned to its origin, whether unicorn, pegasus, earth pony, alicorn or spirit, its true identity is stripped away as soon as it becomes one with me. I take its strength, its power, and add it to my own independently of its original nature.

However, despite the pool of power from which I direct my spells, I still sense a difference whenever I raise the sun. As if she were within me, scratching the stone walls of a dungeon like a desperate animal, so despaired in her futile attempts, shrieking to a deaf audience.

And I rejoice.

The solar power, her power, flowing through, filling my lungs, my heart pounding with vigor, my veins marking upon my skin, my eyes wide open in ecstasy. And the truth is, I have chosen this joy. If I desired so, with a flick of my fingers I could play with the sun and moon as a child with a ball. But I intend to feel this way. It is the only moment when I am truly alive. As I see the sun surging from a distance that can never be traversed, I feel that fleeting sensation I craved for so long as years went by in Tartarus.

I won.

I defeated them all.

I defeated her.

The sun stands proud in the sky, greeting with its decaying light a grey and still world.


The gate remains open, just as I remember it.

It looks so insignificant now, compared to the first time I walked through the adamantine doors. And yet, it still awakens a sense of what I could consider childish dread in the depths of my being. I feared you when I was a mortal, when I was a husk, a mere shadow of a shadow of my true self. I am not anymore.

And yet, you scare me.

Tartarus. The prison for those abominations the world wishes had never existed. Demons, fallen gods, mortals who stumbled across a source of eldritch power, beings not of this world… All of them confined in its bowels, put there by armies who opposed them, entire nations bound together with the common objective of exterminating their enemy. The entire world united more than once to defeat some of these affronts against sanity and life itself. In a way, it is flattering that the fear I instigated deemed me worthy of this maws. And yet, it justified my revenge far more than anything that they had done or could hope to do.

The origins of the gate itself are unknown; at least, they were in my time. Several lifetimes of imprisonment added to the following decades of carnage and centuries of wandering leave little time for inquiry. What it is known, is the true nature of the prison itself. I shiver at the thought, but I understand how it kept me alive with no need for sustain; neither water nor aliment, nor the comfort of giving oneself to madness in an attempt to escape its torment. I know I could kill it, the same way I have killed most of its previous inhabitants. But there is one reason why I would never dream of doing such a thing.

It keeps them both alive.

“Nostalgia?”

I turn around to face the source of the voice.

“Excuse me?”

I heard him perfectly the first time, I am merely giving him a chance to correct his mistake.

“I said, 'nostalgia'?”

Idiot.

“ Just meditating.”

“I´m sure you are…” he said, directing his gaze below. His eyes fell upon a pile of gigantic -at least to him- canine bones. The most prominent ones are three similar skulls.

Silence settles between us. I continue to observe the remains of my old guardian and recall the moment, recent in memory yet distant in time, when I tore off each of his heads one by one with my bare hands.

“Do you have regrets, Tirek?” He asks weakly.

I remain quiet. I used to respond him whenever he would ask that. Usually with a scoff, a growl, a blunt "no" or even by tossing him against the ground. That was sufficient to soothe his doubts. Nowadays, however, I prefer the silent treatment.

“I find it funny, actually…” he continues, oblivious to my message, taking it as an invitation to continue rambling. I wish nothing more than to silence him and yet, after all this time, the prospect of maintaining a real conversation is too attractive for me to resist. I curse my weakness and listen.

“I cannot remember how many times I have asked you the same question. Not just in our last years of… company." He lingered when choosing the word. "I remember once when we were mere children. My memory is a bit fuzzy, but I recall you once hit me in the head with a rock. I was bleeding quite profusely. When Mother heard the commotion, she rushed towards us and took me back to the castle to have it healed. You stood back, and I did not see you until two days after. I was still quite dizzy and had lost more blood than it is advisable…” He scoffs. "You were brought in with a stern look upon your face, no other emotion other than the strength and stubbornness I admired so much in you. Mother had been staying with me while I had been resting, never taking her eyes off me. Father, however, stood behind you. I remember being surprised by his presence; he always had so many issues to attend to.

“Mother demanded you to apologize. You remained quiet, not very differently from how you are right now. You stood your ground despite her perseverance. After more waning insistence, she began pleading with you. She implored you to say you were sorry, as if trying with all her might to extract the tiniest vestige of emotion out of you. You did not budge. And then Father merely placed his hand upon your shoulder. You lost your composure rather quickly. Yet you did not comply with her demands, you simply stated that you weren't sorry, that you had made me a favor and it was all my fault for being too weak. As you went on, you grew more and more furious. The moment Father lifted his hand from your shoulder you ran off to the outskirts of the castle, back to wherever you used to go when you wanted to be left alone.

“To this day, I have not forgotten the expression upon father's face. So small, so significant: A grin, a grin that could so easily go unnoticed. But even in my stupor, I saw it. Mother did not. Father left and she remained with me for the rest of my recovery. Ever since then, after every battle, after every murder, after ever atrocity you ever committed I wondered if you regretted anything. You never did.”

I have listened quietly and patiently. There are matters that require my attention in this place, but then again, the sun won't set until I say so myself. I can wait a bit longer. Hovering within his bubble he looks at me, and I do the same. I can see his eyes, old, tired, the idealistic youth that glimmered through now gone, though who knows how long before we reunited.
They say so much.

“I do, however, have regrets, and I acknowledge them. It used to be said that you shouldn't focus on the past or concern yourself over the future, but live in the present. Considering our present, I find it quite hard not to think about the past and ignore the future entirely.

“After our last encounter before your imprisonment, after I assisted the Royal Sisters to defeat you and put an end to your aspirations, still bleeding and broken, with you lying on the ground ravaged and clinging to life, I asked them what would happen to you. I expected them to execute you right then. I was ready to intervene. However, they had other plans. They declared their intentions of imprisoning you in Tartarus. I opposed them. I said I would take you home, judge you under our own laws, and try my best to rehabilitate you. I swore you would never raise a hand against them, nor Equestria, ever again.

“Of course, they did not believe me. Not because they distrusted me, or at least, not only because of that. They said you were a monster whose only place was alongside other monsters. I remember we argued as intensely as battle worn warriors could. I recall the sharp pain in my lungs as I yelled. I tried so hard to save you, even with the fear that finally, jaded as they were, they would send me to Tartarus alongside you. When it was clear for the three of us that reasoning would not work, I stood between them and you. They were healing fast, faster than me. I could feel my strength returning, but so woefully slowly… I was ready to die that day. I would have renounced to my life if that had saved you. I was willing to die for the centaur whose many wounds I had helped to inflict. And yet, they dissuaded me, convinced me to let go of you.

“Even if I were in any condition to fight them, I wouldn't have. They were right. You didn't belong anywhere but the deepest pits of Hell. I should have known that Celestia would avoid at all cost taking a life if it could be spared. However, despite being against killing you, she hated you. Her hatred towards you was as intense as her love for her subjects, the subjects we had mutilated irreparably by taking their magic away. She could have resorted to torture it out of you, but I still believe that thanks to my presence she rejected that idea.”

I am listening, my patience slowly withering away. I am two more phrases away from ignoring him.

“But if I regret something, anything at all of all the horrible things you made me do, of the things I did on my own accord… and what is my greatest regret in an extremely long life, is that on that day so long ago… I didn't kill you myself.”

For a moment, a silence like I have never experienced enraptures the entire world, thicker and mightier than the doors that stand before me. Not even my breathing can be heard; only quietude, unbreakable and uncompassionate. Never could I have fathomed to hear those words uttered from his lips. In his eyes a sparkle of doubt gleams if only for an instant, before being subdued by defiance. His stare hardens, his pupils directed at me, the same way mine are to his. A gelid flame crackles behind the so called “doors to one's soul”. If such allegories are correct, then I must have witnessed as many souls as I have ripped away. Except for one. This one. For a reason unknown to me, I am aware in this very moment, that I do not want that flame to be extinguished.

I chuckle.

“Finally”, I say, an iota of pride resounding in my voice. “I had been waiting to hear that from you for a long time. At least, 'hear it.' You have been professing that idea for much longer than you thought.”

He maintains his gaze with severity, without any hesitation to be perceived by neither mortal nor godly eyes. My admiration for such feat is brief and feeble. I mentally reprimand myself for such sentimentality. Fear never comes through, but I will not be able to forget that look for a long time.

His expression still grave, his eyes unfaltering, his mouth merely a line upon a ragged and old face; he speaks once more in a voice that is both comforting and abject at the same time.

“Do you have any regrets?”

I maintain my eyes on him; my glare an exact replica of his. However, I feel my features trembling, my will falters.

“Yes…” I mutter, “actually, I do.”

His countenance does not betray his surprise; his eyes do. Doors to the soul.

“What is it, then?” his voice trembles at the first syllable, the tremor gone as if it had never existed by the time he has finished his question.

“I regret… that on that day, so long ago… you made a choice that would become your greatest regret.”


The cavern echoes as I move forward. Through crevices and broken stone, I hear the low murmur of life within its walls. Something palpitates calmly but unequivocally. I was always aware of the beast that lurks within it, one whose maws used to open hungrily for the wicked, the pained, and anyone deemed worthy of punishment by the Sun and Moon. I can sense its will wane the deeper I go. It remembers me. I remember it. It recognizes me for what I am. No creature to ever step out of here ever came back stronger. No fortitude is that rigid, neither among mortals nor immortals. There are so few of us now.

There is only us now. Even at the end of all, the moniker remains true. There is no other truth than what I speak, what I conceive, what I impose. There is nothing else. Not even you, creature, monster, incomprehensible even to the one who knows everything there is to know. The last keeper of mysteries stands before you, the great last mystery. Not even the ones who made a deal with you understand you, even now that they are your prisoners.

That is when it strikes me. Something is different now. The air wafts through the doors behind me, bringing with it the stink of death. The blackness from beyond looks back inquisitively. Something is not right with this place. Scorpan shuffles behind me, still wallowing within his pristine prison. I pay him no heed and continue onward. I have a destination in mind. The landscape is painfully familiar. Even after all these years, Tartarus remains the one place I know best. I have traversed the entire world multiple times over the centuries, and yet, despite everything that I have witnessed, this is all I can see when I close my eyes. That same exact altar, that constant view, unchanging as the seasons went by, kingdoms rose and fell, mortals lived and died, none of that was ever felt inside. Out of time, out of space, out of mind, alone. With you. You monster.

I trust he has kept them good company after I tossed them inside his bowels. I have no doubt that, if not a novelty, it must have been unexpected. When was the last time he was able to hold not one, but three alicorns? I made sure he came to treasure them by depriving him of all other company. Forever alive, forever tormented, his needle-sharp teeth sinking into their consciousness, tiring them without allowing sleep, filling their stomachs with indigestible feed. Immortals perfect their patience, despite their lack of choice in the matter. That tends to make them conceited over the torment they are capable of enduring. This place... this thing, does away with such naïve notions rather quickly.

The time has come for another audience with my captured captors. There is no judgement for my visits beyond my will. I am time, and space, and purpose. Lately I have not spoken much to them. Not at all, in fact. The last few times I just looked at them. Tartarus has a way of feeding on its hosts; no matter how strong they are, they will grow weak until they remain as nothing but impervious sustenance for his hunger. No harm has ever come to them in the times I have presented myself, nor will it ever. I could do it, leave them a screaming mess of flesh and bone, its only remaining facet a consciousness that is not allowed to die.

Nothing dies here. It is the only place where such an abominable reality is possible. He will not let them, his will is absolute on that matter. Often I do wonder how much of that was his choice or just nature taking its course. As familiar as I am with him, I will never know for certain. He simply is. I simply am. In the end, we are one. I am what Tartarus spat out into the world, and I brought him out with me. I doubt they ever knew what I was paying them back for, but I did. Now there is only the silence, outside and inside. There is no difference between what lies beyond the gates and what is kept within.

Years ago I opened them, freed everything locked inside. Granted them a puff of air and the opportunity to spread death before taking their lives myself. After the dragons I thought my heartbeat would never quicken; Tartarus’s horrors made it dance for me. For a little while, at least. I overestimated them. Most of the creatures inside possessed enough sapience to understand what had become of the world after my campaign, and they lost the will to fight. No new magics to uncover for the overly ambitious sorcerers of old, no new kings to depose for the revolutionaries, no minds to torment for the wicked gods, not even prey for the gluttonous beasts. Only me. Only my war. They lost.

And now it is only us, Sun and Moon, the Titan and his brother, inside the belly of the leviathan, once again. I made sure to leave them where I once stood, ages upon ages mounting dust and bone and decay. I might let them go, someday. Once I see in their eyes that same recognition for his place I can glimpse into my own. Only once they have forgotten about the moon and the sun will I consider it.

The stairway comes into view before I notice it. The murmur of the walls sounds clearer. I look behind me and glance at my brother, still hovering silently. He never speaks within this place. The effects of Tartarus’s tendrils are not immediate. I do wonder if they could reach me now. A foolish question, nothing stands outside of their ravenous range. I am simply too big a meal for them right now. In time they could claim me, but it would take far longer than last time. Scorpan does not stir, despite the increasing buzzing of the world. I am magically attuned in a way that he never was; I am also much more accustomed to his whispers. He might not be able to hear them still.

It hits me again. The waft of death. Something is wrong.

I quicken my pace, almost imperceptibly at first. I climb the stairs in a matter of seconds, a mere trot for my gigantic size. I stand before the cages, chains rusted from rattling, bars eaten away by time. Its occupants are nothing but clean, white bone.

I feel my lips tremble, my brow furrows ever so slightly. My hands tighten as they did before I faced an adversary. The sound around me explodes. I look in every possible direction. There are no eyes to look at inside the belly of the beast.

“What have you done?!” I scream.

I look back at the bones. Three pairs of corroded wings, plucked feathers of white, pink and blue strung around. Empty sockets gaze back into my eyes as I follow the contours of the bleach white horns on each skull. As I peer into them, I am reminded of a look thrown my way, many moons ago. The Sun and her tiny conceited smile, tired yet dignified eyes, drilling into me. Empty of all magic, yet filled with determination.

“Futile determination…” I say through pressed teeth. “This means nothing!” I cry out. "I don’t know how you have done it, but this means nothing. You have not escaped me, I allowed you to escape! It doesn’t matter, you are gone, everyone is gone. I won! I won...”

Chuckling behind me. I turn around, eyes gleaming.

“Indeed, Tirek. You did. And yet... They got away from you. How I envy them.” His tired, empty smile replies.

“Your bravery means nothing within these walls, Scorpan, yet they do hold room for your impudence. No matter. You will not follow in their hoofsteps, this I swear.”

“Why so?” he replies, a glimmer of confidence in his tone. “Do you believe I think myself an immortal here? That I am only able to speak so freely because of the defense line Tartarus has drawn against Thanatos?” He laughs, more loudly this time. “Look behind you once again. This is not bravery, nor cowardice speaking, but vitriol. Whatever it is you intend to do, you have already failed. It all leads to the same empty chasm.”

I know everything there is to know. He is nothing but my shadow, always floating behind me, he cannot possibly be aware of anything I ignore. Why that smile, why that arrogance?

“You have finally lost your mind, brother. Is your memory so putrid that a story of youth has sufficed to rot away whatever was left of your sanity?”

“He has grown tired, Tirek. Tired of them and of you.” His voice grows softer, weaker. His eyes flutter, as if fighting off sleep. Yet, the laughter persists. “Tired of what you have done to the world and to him. Tartarus has been waiting for you to come back. I think… he wanted to let you know.”

A guffaw explodes around me. Laughter, an abominable sound without sound, mirthless mirth echoing from every direction and nowhere at all. Neither malice, not pleasure in it. Just consciousness, the grandest display of awareness I have ever experienced within this place. The most sapience I have ever observed from him.

“He consumed them?” I say without hearing myself. “He would never do that. He needs them in order to–”.

“Stay alive?” Scorpan cuts me off, eyes closed with the hint of a smile on his lips. A peaceful smile. “I believe he has renounced to continue on with this farce, Tirek. He’s no servant of yours, unwilling to perpetuate the punishment of the victims you left within him. He must have let them go a long time ago, judging from the bones. There is nothing in it for him anymore. There is nothing in it for me either, not for a very long time…”

His voice is drifting away. I raise my hand and pull towards me vigorously, the bubble follows. For the first time in ages, we are face to face. His body is barely the size of my nose. Was he always this puny?

“Your delusions bore me, brother. This ridiculous display might be your last. Was it worth it, then? All the pain you went through in fighting me, defying me, was it worth it when it all brought you here? Once I step outside you will be begging to see the sunlight again. After I recover your body from the abyss in which I will plunge it, your first words will be a less pathetic babbling that whatever madness you speak now!” I yell. My eyes drive daggers into his fragile body, my voice almost breaking.

“You speak a half-truth…” he says so weakly that I can barely hear him. “I won’t be seeing the sun again. But not because of you…”

I stop. A thought crawls into my mind. Through his half-opened eye, I see vindictiveness light up. His smile can no longer be mistaken for a trick of the light.

“I will not reach the gates. He has begun to feed once more, but not on you. May you and Tartarus keep each other company... until the end.”

I run, the world shakes around me as though it were ending again. Pillars threaten with falling in front of me, the walls close in as though they were hands reaching out behind me. My heart beats faster, much faster than it has in centuries. For the first time since I can remember it hurts to breathe. I see the sun outside, filtering through his maw. The laughter of the old god pursues me.


I have been holding onto the sun for much longer than I ever have. I do not want to let it go. The scorching heat pounds away at my flesh, yet I feel nothing. The desert outstretches far into nothingness, in permanent expansion. Only one sight disturbs the landscape, the towering god looking on. Only one sight disturbs the god: the small patch of open ground before him. Inside a gargoyle lies dead, his eyes closed, smile curled in blissful rest.

Time stands still. I ignore how long it has been since I exited Tartarus. Scorpan is gone. Gone to where I cannot reach him, for if I could, I am sure I would have burnt it all down too. Now… I cannot tell what I would have done. He had inflicted a final punishment on me. Both him and the beast. The sisters as well. All of them, together once more, for the last time. And yet, here I stand. I alone at the end of the world. I ravaged everything the gaze could touch and the mind conceive. I bowed it to my will. I won.

I won.

I won.

The gate returns my gaze. Tartarus awaits. It is only us now. The only ones who call kill each other. He has no power left over me. He played his final hand and took the last bit of myself I could not defend. Anything else he could plunder, can only be freely given if I desire so. Just walking inside and waiting. Wait for it to feed on me until I am but a husk, keep going into nothingness. And then... let himself starve to death.

I have no such restriction. I can take away everything that he has left if I so will it. And once I do, I would be truly alone. Without him, I would never die. No one else to stand besides me, before me, behind me, nor over me. I will have won. No one but I will ever know. But no one else mattered at all.

The words ring hollow. I look down. With a quick swoop I cover the hole with dirt and press it softly.

No one at all.

Comments ( 55 )

Scorpan should be featured more in fanfiction, there's some potential with the character. Actually, Tirek overall feels to me unexplored

Good reflection on the theme of hollow victory, I've enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

That was a really good story. Great prose, very interesting concept, and characterisation that actually made me care about Tirek. And it held my attention all the way through, which is quite an achievement considering my zoomerbrain. Well done.

Comment posted by Unimpressive Chaos Lord deleted Jun 23rd, 2023

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and characterisation that actually made me care about Tirek

That's where I put the most effort, I am so glad it paid off. He's not the deepest or most developed villain, but I always gleamed a lot of potential drama within him.

And it held my attention all the way through, which is quite an achievement considering my zoomerbrain

My zoomer brain managed to type it out, so it makes sense. I'm very glad I managed to get you so engaged, that is a huge boost of confidence to be honest. Also happy you liked the prose, as a ESL I am a bit self-conscious about that.

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Scorpan should be featured more in fanfiction, there's some potential with the character. Actually, Tirek overall feels to me unexplored

I've been of the same mind since 2014, I got stupidly obsessed with both characters for some reason and that is probably reflected here. I'm happy you agree.

Good reflection on the theme of hollow victory, I've enjoyed it

Thank you very much, that's what I was going for. I am very glad you liked it.
Also, I appreciate you placing the story in two folders with such flattering names, I am honored.

As I've already said in the thread, awesome story. I really like the characterisations of both Tirek and Scorpan and making Tartarus into an eldritch god / entity is an idea I have never seen before and really like.

Awesome story. It reminds me of Ultron from What if? Tirek had accomplished everything he wanted. To absorb all the magic in the world, grow giant, and take over the world. Now that he's done all that, the world is more or less in shambles and barely functioning, what's left for him to do? He's basically a robot without a purpose. Everyone who was meaningful to him (friend and foe) have had their lives taken leaving him on (essentially) a barren world.

Just goes to show the folly of his plan from the get go as well as the severe repercussions it had.

Extremely mesmerizing. Loved every bit of the dialogue, lore, sights, the world’s remains... and that final scene.

By far, the best Tirek I’ve ever seen written. Well done.

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Thanks, Filly. I am really glad you count with your approval for this one. That latter idea is partly based on mythology, but also on some ideas the show threw around. Considering how Tirek managed to live for so long, and how he expected the mane six to stay in Tartarus forever with him, I figured the place had some magical properties meant to keep its inhabitants alive forever. Also, I might be misremembering but I think that in Greek mythology Tartarus was a a primordial entity as well as a space, on the same level as Chaos, Nyx and Gaia, which I thought would add some motive to the prolongation of life. I've looked it up and Tartarus was on the same level as Time, so this kind of ties up nicely with your depiction in "And Time Marched on, Forever" :twilightsheepish: Either way, I'm happy those ideas got across well (I was afraid I wouldn't be able to properly convey such an out-there concept) and that they were to your liking.

11618449
You got plenty of stuff right with your observations. I did take inspiration from a couple of Marvel stories. "Hulk: The End" specifically was my main inspiration at first, back in 2016. I left the story abandoned for many years and in that time "Thanos Wins" got out, which also dealt with a similar narrative motive as shown here. The other source of inspiration was just watching the show, asking myself, "what does Tirek actually want?". The moment he got all the magic he just started blasting away at the land, so my first thought was that he just would never stop doing that, until there was nothing left, and then what? Even season 9 proved me right when his only objective was to get bigger. I wanted to see where that mentality leads. You can picture this story taking place in the last future Twilight showed Starlight and you wouldn't be far off. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and considerations on the story, I am really glad you enjoyed it.

11618461
Thanks a lot, Sarge, that means a lot, to have reached such a high bar, I'm really happy I managed to do an interesting take on Tirek. I was concerned about the dialogue since I felt it was both sparse and rambly at the same time, but it seems I might have been wrong. I'll keep it in mind for the future. Also very glad I managed to nail the final scene, I knew I needed a good punch to end such a depressing tale and I'm happy to have been able to deliver.

Color me impressed. Have a fave and like!

11618515
Thanks a lot, Ditzy, I really appreciate it!

11618514
I think for this setting, your style of dialogue was the right choice; they went on at length when they needed to. I really liked how it translated to the final scene, because, well, there was nothing that could be said. That freedom... was gone.

And yes, certainly be proud of your Tirek. You gave him a voice that went above and beyond what I could ever expect for him.

I was a Johnny come lately to FiM. I joined right around/after Starlight Glimmer and did a fair amount of binge-watching. I was deeply impressed at how dark Starlight was compared to NMM and Tirek who, if you disregard the comics and anything outside of their debut episodes, followed some pretty standard "arch-villain" cliches. Tirek was basically a heavy-hitter "brute" whose main goal was to take over the world/ gain all the power for himself. Even his backstory only mentioned that he came from a distant land, but not much beyond that.

Your story has a slow creeping sense of unease. Are we watching his descent into madness and despair or is he long since gone and we're seeing all this after the fact? It reminds me of a story about NMM written from her perspective in the form of a journal Day 1 Day 5 Day 10 Day 100 Day 1000, etc.

11618544
In answer to your question, more the latter. The idea here is that he was never stopped after the season 4 finale, and he just continued on his rampage until there was nothing else to destroy. The story takes place after an undetermined number of years, but we're talking about centuries, after he pretty much killed everyone except for the characters featured in the story.

Regarding the rest, I was into FiM from more or less a few weeks into season 3, but that's barely a couple of years apart from you, so it doesn't matter that much. Yeah, Starlight was something else in depth and methodology (which IMO they undermined greatly with such a lame backstory, every other villain had much more going for them when they had one -NMM, Chryssy, Tirek, even Discord-), which, if given the same treatment as I have given Tirek, would result in quite an interestingly fucked up world. Here I mainly wanted to focus on what happens when such an obsessive narcissistic powerhungry maniac can do whatever he wants.

Great read. Tirek's one of my favorite villains and he (alongside Scorpan) being utilized is always a blast. Seeing the familial/father-issues that got prodded at but never expanded on in canon is an absolute treat as well. Props to you!

That said, a few errors I noticed;

But now it is mine. My most priced possession.

If I desired so, with a flick of my fingers I could play with the sun and moon as a a child with a ball.

Usually with a scoff, a growl, a blunt "no" or even by tossing him against the ground. That was sufficient to sooth his doubts.

Hovering within his bubble he looks at me, and I do the same .

Again, awesome job!

Wow.

What other words can be spoken other than 'wow'? This story is just impactful. I loved every single thing about this story. All of the dialogue, the history, the remains of a world ruined. I almost forgot I was reading a fanfiction and not a published piece of literature, the story was that good. Tirek had always been a villain I liked (I'm a big fan of guys like these, especially Akuma), and I was disappointed with the way he was treated during the final season. Everything about him that made him Tirek was stripped away. But now? Goosebumps. The best rendition of Tirek ever. Nothing can top this.

Wow.

11618559
I completely agree that her backstory was a pretty big let down.

Some of my favorite stories on here explore the myriad what ifs of all those alternate realities.

You know, if he really wanted to, with all that magic power within him can't he just go back in time and restart his madness of killing everything? Or was Glimmer the only pony who knows how to time travel?

11618512
No problem. You wrote a very compelling story and masterfully portrayed the emotions of isolation, loneliness, and desperation Tirek must have felt in his situation. Very well done. Is it safe to assume that the planet is completely barren and he banished himself to Tartarus as an act of self isolation? No life is left on it? Or is there a few stragglers left trying to survive the wasteland?

Hmm. One day, Tirek, you will have spent as much time wandering about the empty waste as you ever did doing every thing that you enjoyed -- and then ten times more that -- and then a hundred more -- and then a thousand -- and then you will still have eternity ahead of you. Enjoy you victory -- much joy may it bring you.

11618572
Glad I could pay a good tribute to another fan of Tirek's! His family issues always seemed very intriguing to me, I kind of like that the show just hinted at them, allowing for a lot of room for creativity in that regard. Thank you very much for pointing out those typos, next time I'll have to be more patient with my proofreading and less overzealous to publish right away.

11618598
That is some high praise right there, thank you very much, man. I didn't expect that kind of reception. I am so happy that I have reached such a high point in his characterization. It might be because he's not the most popular villain and as such there is not as much competition in portraying him as there is with other villains such as NMM and Discord (despite the profile picture I doubt I'd be able to get such a good read on him as to merit the same praise I'm getting right now for Tirek). I did not mind him in season 9, he was fine, but yeah, we lost something on the way. Too comedic, he lost that sense of menace and of "shit, this guy is a literal walking apocalypse" he had on season 4, so I stuck mostly to that characterization. Again, I really appreciate your appraisal.

11618742
ITT story I don't think he would be able to do that, for once, there is no Friendship Castle and thus, no map. But also, time travel is a very sophisticated and well kept secret that not even the Royal Sisters knew how to perform, only Star Swirl and the ponies who studied his work, something tha Tirek obviously did not do. Either way, that's an interesting suggestion I hadn't considered, it would indeed lead itself to a "forever war" if he knew how :rainbowhuh:

11618753
I suppose that is up in the air, since we're only getting his perspective on the matter, but I do believe that everyone else is dead, either killed by him or by the destruction he left behind. As to whether he headed back into Tartarus at the end or not, that is up to the reader to decide. He does contemplate both options, killing him and reigning supreme forever, or walking in to his own death voluntarily, after which Tartarus would die too with no one to feed on.

The top of the peak is truly the loneliest place of all.

11618882
Especially if you built that peak by stacking corpses.

This is one of the most unique and well made "the last person in the world" stories I have seen.
I do not find it all that sad even. It is merely... satisfying. I am happy and content with the ending.
VERY well made, word-smith!

11618932
Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it. I do enjoy those "last person alive" stories as well.

"Hulk feels . . . cold."

This was beautiful. The dialogue was great. The descriptions were amazing. I never realized how much "last person alive" stories interest me until now. Tirek to me is a pretty interesting character and you made him all the more interesting. I hope you continue writing cause you're super talented, good stuff.

A very solid character piece. A little bit of "what would Sisyphus feel at the top of the hill" finished with a little bit of "Kars flying off into space for 16 quadrillion years." I've never found Tirek to be all that interesting - not a bad baddie, mind you, but mostly interesting as a natural disaster-esque counterpoint to the values of horse-world. In the same way that Discord functions as a counterpoint to Harmony, but at a much darker and starker level, Tirek functions as a counterpoint to the rest of themesong - the literal opposite of the Magic of Friendship, he functions as the Un-Magic of tyranny and hatred. In that way, he is an excellent existential big-bad to Equestria - yet, that premise doesn't really him to be inherently interesting. We got glimpses of reasons to care throughout the canon (family, for ex.), but I think you made a great decision to place him in this triumphant yet meaningless state. There, we get to see the meat of your story, as well as the primary philosophical question which your premise entails and explores - once Tyranny prevails and friendship is, by virtue of extermination of all potential friends, eliminated - does a being, even one so purely ontologically evil, actually enjoy the world created?

11619008
One of the best getting your wish and having to live with it moments in comic book history.

11619082

I hope you continue writing cause you're super talented, good stuff.

Thanks a lot, man :heart:. I'm glad my story pleased you.

11619154
Hey man, thanks for providing your valuable insight, I very much enjoy your interpretation and agree with it wholeheartedly. In the end Tirek is the most miserable antagonist of the bunch, he's the loneliest and the least likely to change or realize why he needs to change. Then again, season 9 proved he was the least likely to betray the others, which in a way seems to imply he does hold loyalty in high regard (his brother, how baffled he was at Twilight's acceptance of Discord, how angry he got at both Chryssy and Cozy when they showed the first signs, etc.), but at the same time he's entirely hypocritical in regards to whom he considers worthy of respect. Basically, Tirek can never be happy, will never be happy, because he cares for no one but himself. Even when he had a chance to have a friend in Discord he screwed him over and cemented his own fault. I very much support the ideals predicated by the show, it's one of the reasons I like it so much, so to have a glimpse into a world in which that ideal is impossible is tantamount to opening the way to a life that is just not worth living. That's what Tirek might be realizing at the end. Again, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

11618449 Same thing if NMM won: a dead dark world. And she clearly has no idea what to do after she wins.

Sombra at least had goals: crystals and slaves! :trollestia:

"Oh Hail Mighty Tirek! The Lord & Master of Nothing! May he have a long & prosperous life!"

11619279
True, though we did see a timeline where she did take over and everything was just fine in the night. Even though that doesn't make any sense. It was just thrown in there.

11618824
But just imagine it, him going back in time, time and time again, to fight all the time but doing it different times, perhaps even giving his enemies false hope before crushing it cruelly. But probably in one such timeline that the good guys wins before he reverse it.

11619547 That whole episode was pretty much thrown together. The only alt timeline that automatically made sense was the Discord one, since he'd curbstomp everyone with his original nature.

The other thing that made no sense was that after returning to the same moment in the past over and over, Twilight and Starlight should have kept bumping into other earlier versions of them altering the timeline at that point.

Time travel plots need to be left to super-geniuses who can handle the many paradoxes that are unavoidable with backwards time travel. With FORWARD time travel, it's not so messy. It can still technically cause a paradox, cuz if you come back to YOUR present and change events, then the future you visited will no longer happen, so technically recent past you couldn't have visited that future since it no longer exists in the future, but since it's already a set point in your timeline that you DID visit that future... see the paradox?

The only alternative is the notion that every action splits the cosmos into infinite universes based on every thing... but that makes for a staggering problem: that means a single atom moving in one direction or another creates entire new universes... meaning creating the energy equivalent of the universe countless times ever femtosecond, which utterly violates pretty much all the physics of everything.

It means the energy density of the multiverse would be increasing at a rate even beyond logarithmic scales! It's practically incomprehensible.

Absolutely fascinating, this is. I've never thought about 'what if Tirek won?' scenarios. Definition of Pyrrhic Victory can be found here.

If you have read Goldfur's 'Off The Mark' series, from chapter 90 or so to the end, his way of defeating Tirek and sending him off is as fascinating as your version of his victory. If you have not read it, I suggest you try. Allow lots of time, though. Three printed volumes.

Uptick #98. I've never reached such heights myself. Well-earned. Thank you.

11619620
Reality doesn't always adhere to logic anyway
That is why I ruled out in my AU that everything is magic, including logic
You're welcome.

Also that episode can be just interpreted as another huge test for Twilight imo. Every time Starswirl is involved things are fishy

11619633
I'm not familiar, and it seems like an extreme undertaking, but I will consider it. Thank you very much for your kind words, I'm glad you liked it.

11619770 Those were experiments on the influences of particle-wave duality and the appearance of 'choice' by the photon approaching a slit detector.

Now that we understand much more of the physics of this photon particle-wave duality, the behavior is predictable and logical. It has to do with wave function interference, the phases being different depending upon the angles of deflection, and the contributions of the entire apparatus influencing the quantum state of the photons. We also see this with gravitational lensing, where 4 or more 'copies' of the background object can be seem, wrapped around the distortion from the massive foreground object, and amplified to varying degrees dependent upon the mass distribution in the foreground object.

It's the exact same light, but appearing to be split into 4 or more images of differing intensity and amplification, due to these same quantum particle-wave duality principles.

11619874
That's curious. I should perform a more thorough work with my sources then, thank you 😁

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