• Member Since 15th Sep, 2015
  • offline last seen Saturday

Sparrow9642


I'm a proud brony who reads stuff for a living. I also write darkfics & family-friendly stuff every-so-often. All I can say is, if you plan to read any of my content, happy horrors ;)

Sequels1

Comments ( 72 )

Some demons born from humans, whether it would be heart, mind, or soul, comes to life in more ways than one. Sadly I feel that she has created a monster she can no longer control. Many people have fallen to that level. Worse some become the monster they create. Ironically, monsters are not born but made by us who think that playing divine is justifiable or fun. We truly do not learn so easily. I feel hopeful that we can but that is a matter of perspective. What is your point of view?

7187289 You've got the right idea. I'll just say that.

So intrigued. I won't nag, but I need that next chapter.

7251218 I assure you I'll have it up soon, I've just taken some time to come up with additional ideas, so the story doesn't seem rushed.

What the hell is going on in this case?

A: Shit

Also ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......................:flutterrage:

Awesome!! I love how you began the story!

Will Apple Bloom be badass in this story?

7296027 Guess you'll have to wait to find out ;)

"Welcome to hell, Coltstein," he said to himself :rainbowlaugh: that's best line in the story ever :scootangel:

Comment posted by Sparrow9642 deleted Jun 24th, 2016

I read over the explanation 3 times and I still don't get it. Don't blame you though, im probably just dumb:pinkiesmile:

7334640 Yeah, just look at it this way. Happy tree-bad. Silver key- good

God Damn this is getting interesting keep it up! :coolphoto: :pinkiehappy:

7334640 it's the whole idea of the happy tree being the friendly one, which automatically makes you want to trust it. It has to do with our psychology, and how we work as human beings on a biological level.

I feel like this fic would work better with a thriller tag, personally.

This fic... I can't even explain how much I love this story, AWESOME WORK BRO!:twilightsmile:

This story started out good but got progressively more cringy. The main character went from a believable, sightly damaged detective, to a mess of a creature, who also turns out to be a badass, aaannnddd a pussy magnet. Rrriiiiigggghhhtt. This has just turned into fantasy fullfillment for the author.

7875858 Keep reading, it gets better. Coltstein is a badass and a very smart detective.

So...Coltstein is a licensed child therapist, a detective for the canterlot PD...aaaannnddd attended law school...what an accomplished pony ?

7875969 I can explain the reason why he's a therapist. He actually isn't, and was just placed in that position to get closer with his killer/victim. He's a licensed detective, and once you reach a certain chapter, you'll figure out how he knows so much about the law

All the comments are positive but if youve read my coments in previous chapters you know I don't like the main character. So. Final thoughts. Started great. Apple bloom a dimented murderer? Spooky my friend. Then the main character is all this bullshit that doesn't really make sense. How can one pony be a therapist. A detective. And went to law school. And on top of all this. He's a ghost killer? Actually I thought the last bit was just thrown on for the sake of an epilogue. Story was ok plotwise. I liked the whole mind of a demon thing and was executed well. Though it did bounce around a little as far as the tone went. Went from holy shit thats dimented to ok this is turning into an action story. The writing. Definitely rushed. This story could have easily been a small novel if it hadn't been rushed. Which isn't a bad thing. I'd read it. Overall. 6/10. -5 for the fantasy fulfillment main character because that shit annoys me. +1 for the plot ark. Could have been executed better. But only writing wise.

7877110 Alright, that's your opinion and I respect it, but apparently you didn't read my last comment. He isn't a therapist, and Coltstein knows so much about the law is because he was never very social and mostly like Twilight. He spent more time studying and reading books on lots of subjects, including law. He's just a very clever detective who has been around for a long time in the field of law. If you don't like him, that's fine.

7876704
This could be true. Obviously we have no canons for how the law works in equestria tho ive only just recently gotten back into the MLP stuff and finished season 6 so I could be wrong. But if the writer was trying to base this character on how the law works then it would be so far from right. You can't just "be made a therapist" for the sake of the investigation. You actually need a license to work in an asylum for that. Not to mention this would corrupt any unbiased notions that police and detectives are supposed to reseve regarding cases. On the note of realism I would make the argument that a cop could never put their hands on a detainee (zecora) like that during an interogation, but honestly we all know cops are capable of some pretty shitty things.

Such a great story!!!!!! Good work!!

Coltstein, I have a feeling you are going to get a very unpleasant answer :twilightoops:

Wow...never thought I'd hear those words from Diamond...:pinkiegasp:

First off, Excellent story, I was on the edge of my seat reading this wanting to know what happens next, so much so that I spent all night reading it and now I am about to collapse. But before I do I have one question I have been wracking my brain with.

I don't know if it is because I missed something because I am so tired but I am wondering. What did the sheriff gain from his role in all of this?

8990002
Coltstein and the sheriff don't really have a pleasant history, and Hoofman is a crooked cop. He doesn't care who he puts in a jail or mental facility, as long as he gets an arrest on his record. He told the CMC about the chant to summon Annie, as a way to cause chaos for them and earn him an arrest like the crooked cop he is.

I can't stop reading this one every time I get done with one of your others or finish a chapter of one of my own and publish it, I come straight to this story.

Coltstein reminds me of DCI John Luther from the BBC series Luther. I don't know if it's intended, but the whole thing has a Luther vibe to it, and I love it.

Was this based on the ending of FEAR 3, by any chance?

K, so... the main guy is a therapist.
Sure.
He gets taken to the restricted section of the library by the librarian.
Certainly!
He pulls out a hand gun and blindly at the first shadow he sees.
Wait, what?
A voice tells him to get out, through a door that doesn't exist anymore.
O.o
His friend tells him that the restricted section was decommissioned years ago.
Wait... so, why did the career librarian he bribed to stay late take him to a section that didn't exist?
Why is a child psychologist terrified of a child with schizophrenia symptoms? Why is he armed with a weapon he can't use, being handless and an earth pony.

7 chapters, but I'm calling out for now. I'll come back to it in the future and let you know what I think when I get over the random of all that.

10068700
First, he's not a therapist, he's undercover as one. Second, he's a detective on a murder case, he's allowed anywhere he wants to get the info he needs. Third, the entity is playing tricks on him as a way of intimidation, seeing it's scared of him, knowing he can potentially foil her plan to take over Apple Bloom as a new vessel, which also applies to the librarian and why she let him access it in the first place. Fourth, is it even worth arguing how hooves can work as hands? How can Octavia strum her cello if she can't grip her bow, but magically manages to, and she's an earth pony? Hand guns are no exception to cartoon logic. Fifth, wouldn't you get startled if you were in his situation as well? It's the body's natural reaction to potential dangers or threats. He's still a pony with emotions, so this is not unnatural.

10077311
Wow... I have to read more of it.
I totally jumped the gun and made a comment before I should have.
The library scene just befuddled me.

10077353
Thank you for being respectful enough to see my points. My older works aren't my best either, so if something seems out of place, it most likely is. This story was meant to keep readers guessing, rather than just giving the answers out in full description. I leave certain topics in the story unexplained for a reason, and that's how I've always written my works. I prefer to give the reader a reading experience where they can come up with their own endings, and fill in the blanks that are not explained fully on their own.

This is like a MLP version if The Conjuring! Love it!

Heeeeeere we go. Time to pull out the big guns Doc.

The Conjuring meets Silent Hill :pinkiehappy:

I always hated that riddle because it confuses the snot outta me :rainbowlaugh:
I wonder if he had gone down the heavenly path if he would have died and gone to heaven?

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