• Member Since 16th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 18th, 2014

Stasys


T

Your name is... well you forgot, something with a 'D' you think. That crash landing you had in the back of the Canterlot Club, caused you to forget a few things. You have a new job as the Wonderbolts 'Handyman' and develop close relationships with the members of the team... specifically Spitfire

(Picture is by secret-pony, http://secret-pony.deviantart.com/)


This is going to be a small series I will do on the side every once in a while when I need a break from my other stories. This is my first second person fick, and I hope you like it.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 206 )

Not a bad first chapter, looking forward to more.

Pretty good. A few spelling errors, but that's all I noticed. Love the idea of competing teams.

WHEN IS MOAR COMING?! :flutterrage:

Okay for a first chapter.

Soarin' is seriously in love with this mare... and you know that he's going to keep those socks.

Processing... Processing... Processing...
*DING*

alltheragefaces.com/img/faces/png/disgusted-oh-god-why-text.png

764657 :rainbowlaugh: Wow, I feel slow. I didn't get that until you pointed it out.

Cudos to you sir.

More Spitfire.

I approve. :moustache:

You could do with an editor or proofreader, though.

Very nice. I await the next chapter.
Till then, have a Big Macintosh.
:eeyup:

Keep at it, me wants more

Approved!

I love the idea that there are other competing teams that the Wonderbolts must deal with.

Also, Spitfire!!!! :rainbowwild:

Great chapter so far! Looking forward to more, seeing as spitfire is my favourite pony!!!!
Kep up the good work pal :ajsmug:

"defiantly" is actually "definitely".... aside from that... I like where this is going :rainbowdetermined2:

Good fic, but I noticed that you seemed to be having trouble with word spelling. For example, 'patience' and 'patients' sound the same but have totally different meanings. I advise getting a prereader to comb through for those kinds of mistakes.

Best of luck to you. I'm definitely tracking this. :twilightsmile:

"I don't know... but say your sorry."

"To who?"

"To Ducky, Who else!?"

"He's knocked out Misty... he can't hear me."

"Ya, knocked out, not asleep... he can still hear you."

"Misty I doubt-"

"SAY YOUR SORRY!"

It's 'You're', not 'your'. Or at least You are. I hate when story that starts as good as yours has this kind of flaws. Good luck anyway.

Abolutly great overall I just saw a simple mistake where a typo went mintue instead of minute or something like that overall I'm good with what's happening so far:twilightsmile:

nice story indeed! here is a :moustache: to you

i dont know what to say to this...

776259 I have never been one to read clop fics... thats kind of throwing me for a loop. But this chapter is good if I do say so myself.

776273 It's not exactly going to be a clop, it's just going to be a little more intense than Celestia x Liontii

776289 Oh, that wasnt even that bad. You got yourself a tracker then lol

turning into a clop later on
into a clop later on
clop later on
CLOP


Do Go On Sir

Great job but I'm going to imagine I'm apony instead of a human :scootangel:

Good idea, but... SPELLING.:facehoof::raritydespair::fluttershbad:

I do enjoy this story pretty much, I'm finding the humor as classic :D
the "Oh, 'its' behind me isn't it?" never gets old for me XD the only - of it all is that, its just a side-project :fluttercry:

Whoa, brilliant idea, update soon :pinkiehappy::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy:

please sir can.i.have some.more

Was wondering if you still plan to continiue on this story ? :duck:

INTERESTING
MORE PLEASE :D

you better write more this is sooooo good even if your not trying:pinkiehappy:

"Oh your to kind to me."

Should be "you're" and "too."

Great work so far. I'm looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:

A romanced themed HiE with out mindless clop and a great plot is a wonderful thing.

Thank you again for showing why I tracked this story.

Keep up the good work.:heart:

Now that I think about it.....Is the Boss trying to hook up Spitfire and D?

Knowing her personality so far she'll explain her actions as "Improving Spitfires performance" since Spitfire "might" be making minor mistakes or something...... Cause no-pony is that big of a Paranoid Bit@#!

Also I'm Really anticipating the Human relationships lesson with D and the stallions coming up.

This 'Storm' wouldn't happen to be the one from Cerulean1313's story, would it?

"Start the protector."

I'm guessing you meant

"Star the projector" As in a movie projector or slide show projector, for powerpoints and such?

Otherwise, good job. Maybe a bit fast moving, though.

I Would to say, THAT CHAPTER WAS AMAZING, there was nothing wrong with it, can't wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

More!

MORE I SAY! :flutterrage:

Win... I am sorry bout your aunt man. Tough to lose family members like that. Hope you bounce back soon. Its bad to keep yourself down for an extended period of time. Awesome chapter. Cant wait for the next.

Yeah i need to point out the "Your" and "you're" errors in text. ( Please note that i'm only trying to help)
Basic of those in a nutshell would be(i think):
"Your" - when something is owned/possesed/etc. by someone like "that's your book!", "Your handwriting", "Your wings" etc.
"you're" is to talk about someone or his behaviour like in "You're too kind for me...", "You're gonna get it!". "You're so dead!"

but hey, Those errors are so common you shouldn't feel(by all means) discouraged in writing awesome stories like this.

Here's a moustache for you :moustache: i cant wait to read more!

It's Proyector, not Protector. But everything else is cool. Don't call me grammar Nazi, you asked in you ANs that we told you if you had any errors. Trying to help :pinkiesmile:

803568
you sure it isnt "Projector" ? xD

803883

I'm not sure anymore... :applejackconfused:

First I don't care either way if there clop or not. Seconded don't let dash do anything I rather be it be ducky and spitfire (but that's just me).
And third I love this story keep going.

Why don't you do both clop and teen chapters, so if people want to read the clop version they go to one chapter, and if people don't want to, they go onto another chapter, it's two in one, same chapter with two different things

good chapter! As for your vote, well...either way, honestly. I know it doesn't help, but if you wanted to make it skippable, then it doesn't matter what the rating is.

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