• Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Phoenix Quill

I'm sorry that I am terribly late with my updates.


Ditzellia Esmerelda Doo is an average mare with a long name, and typical job.
She also has a not so average eye condition, that brings pain in the form of a name given by other ponies. But
when unusual things start to happen, a stranger makes an offer that can turn the tables for our favorite mail mare.
Events take place before, during and after "The Return of Harmony" Episodes.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 30 )

Yo, her name's Derpy.

Both can be used in fanfics.

Well, I started writing this story in October of 2011 before Derpy became canon.
After it did I decided that its still OK for this story because in the end its what ponies call her. Whether she likes it or not.

Oh, my. Once she gets back to real reality, she's going to have a word or five with DisQord.

“Number Seventeen Cherry Tree Lane”

I see that you did there...

Found a few things that need correction:

“Well, in the words of somepony great I’m sure, lets get this over with!

'Let's get this over with!'

“An Unusual Book, unusual stories for unusual ponies”

“A Very Rare Book, so rare and expensive you will never be able to afford it, heck even look at it to know what is inside. By A. Troll”

The quotes around the tiles should be removed (love the titles btw!).

Wonderful, why don’t you go ahead and finish that delectable sandwich you were about to demolish while I, fiddle about.

Wonderful. Why
I fiddle about.

“Oh, well, is everything alright.

is everything alright?”

Spike went into autopilot as he pulled the card out of “An Unusual Book”

Book title should be italicized.

piece of paper taped to the inside of the books binding

book's binding

Yes, thats what I need.


Perfect for airianaughts

aeronauts (NB - Unless "airianaughts" is a word I am unfamiliar with, you can replace it with "aeronaut" and remove "balloonists" since they are synonyms).

“I meen I figured, sure maybe she would like them, but... What did you say?”


what's your sisters name?


“Hey no way bro, I saw her first! Now, I meen.” He coughed into his hoof before continuing, “He might be strong, but he trips over his own hooves, let alone when he is flying. I meen, come on if it's in his path he runs into it.


Do you mean like ha ha funny, or somepony has brought the end of the world funny.

the end of the world funny?”

Discord was feeling pretty good for himself.


on the bronies favorite mail mare


I am enjoying the story so far, notwithstanding the punctuation issues (the story needs some TLC by a good editor). I really hope you continue and look forward to the next chapter!

Thank you for going through there and spotting those errors, will correct soon!


P.S. her name is Ditzy Dew. I looked on charecter page thigy.

I have seen the name spelled Ditzy Do, Ditzie Doo, and Ditzy Doo, and now Ditzy Dew.
I chose the name Ditzellia Esmerelda Doo as her full name based on the amazing Derpy tumblr, where she got discorded. Ditzy Doo being the short name, like a nick name.

you used there and they're when it should have been their 3 times, but it is still really awesome!!!:derpytongue2:

:raritydespair: : that rain looks simply horrid!!!!

I knew it :pinkiehappy: Luna sent the letters back

Will definitely read later, but can I just say that full name is beautiful and adorable. :heart::rainbowkiss:

Sure you can :twilightsmile: And I hope you enjoy the story.

Ditzellia Esmerelda Doo,
Number 98 Country Rd.
Ponyville, Equestria, 39601"

Dear Ms. Ditzellia Esmerelda Doo

I would like to inform you that you for your contributions to liberating the sovereign land of Equestria from the tyranny and madness exercised by the entity known as 'DIscord', as well as the valor and determination you exhibited during the time period of Discord's reign, you have earned my everlasting respect and admiration. Attached to this letter is a monochrome illustration; an artistic representation of what I believe you may look like in your uniform. Best wishes!

Yours Truly,

*attached to the letter is a piece of paper*

Comment posted by Phoenix Quill deleted Oct 14th, 2013

To Pylons,
Number 33 Royal St.
Canterlot, Equestria, 14236

Dear Pylons,
I am touched by your letter, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Despite my years working in the Equestrian Mail System, I am not very good at writing letters. To be honest, this is one of the few times I ever recieved a letter for myself, besides a bill of some kind.

Anyhow, the picture is great! Did you see me while I was in Canterlot recently? Maybe you were in the audience during my trial, or even have seen me flying over the city. (You captured my new uniform perfectly!) OH! I hope that it doesn't bother you that I write back, I just wanted to be able to tell you how appreciative I truly am for the letter, and the sketch!

Maybe some day we might be able to meet each other in pony. While I spend most of my off time in Ponyville, I split my work time between here, and Canterlot. Perhaps you can find me at Doughnut Joe's? (His coffee is amazing, and not only does he have doughnuts, but some of the most amazing muffins I have ever had the privilige to purchase. Yes, better than the Castle's. Don't tell them that.)

Well, I just wanted to say thank's again! The picture is now hanging on my wall, I hope to see you around!

Ditzy Doo.

I quite enjoyed this. It was a nice idea but the ending I did feel was a slight abuse of power, despite being for the best of intentions. I still liked it though, Good job.

- Infinte Carnage

It sort of was. :ajbemused:

But, it's like Minister Hard Time said, if she got her way, she would have been banished, and once that was done, Celestia did one thing, and Luna wanted to top that. (Siblings, only they can understand.):raritycry::unsuresweetie:

Okay, I know EqD had some rather bizarre standards back then, but what the hell? The paragraphs cut abruptly and the story is riddled with grammatical mistakes, there instead of they're and their and your instead of you're being the most prominent two.

You're lucky your plot is interesting, dear author. Very lucky.

I'll thank you for that. However, this was my first story, and I have yet to really go back and fix the earlier chapters.

I just read this story recently, and it's a really interesting take on Ditzy, and integrates her tale into the general plot nicely. I really liked it! :twilightsmile:

Well thanks! :twilightsmile:
A lot of people have done certain things with Ditzy Doo, and some of it I liked, others not so much. This was started, before Derpy became cannon, and we were using both names for her, so I kinda created a way for both names to work out. :twilightblush:

She'll be around in one of my other stories very soon, unless my story says Alternate Universe, all stories can, and do connect to one another. That story is of course going to be Discord Writes a Ship Fic, while it's not a sequel to this story, there will be a few references to this one, and a couple others within it.:facehoof:

While it is nice that she didn't get banished, shouldn't something be done about (or TO) the reckless imbecile who, as far as I can see, has been given a free pass for basically ruining her life?

If by reckless imbecile, do you mean Discord, or someone else?


Is there maybe a version without linebreaks? I usually read everything on an ebook reader, and the linebreaks make it very annoying.

4529065 Umm, I'm afraid not.
I can see what I can do real quick to help, I can't remember if I used a lot of underscores, or the actual breaks, cause if I used actual breaks there's nothing I can do.

Just checked, I used the HR style actual breaks so... I don't know what to say or do.
I'm afraid that the old versions that was on google docs had the same breaks before I deleated those versions. Sorry.

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