I'm sorry that I am terribly late with my updates.
The Great and Powerful Trixie, (yes it MUST be capitalized, how else will you know that she is Great, Powerful, AND Trixie?) Decides that in order to bounce back up she needs a new gimmick. And so she comes back to Ponyville one more time to have Twilight help her become The Great and Powerful Escape Artist Trixie Lulamoon! And to prove her prowess, she shall do this all without the aid of magic!
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with trixies flair for dramatics i think that advertising won't be a problem
I think, overall, this has a lot of potential. There are a few spelling mistakes here and there, and you need to add a bit of punctuation in places, but that's it. Well done!
1810674
Thanks for the critique, I always look forward to hearing how I can improve my stories, As you may, (Or may not) know, I am a high school drop out, and was a straight F student, so My punctuation and spelling tends to... fail.
However I am looking for an editor to help me out with this. If you think you can please let me know Thank you!
This should be great!!!! Can't wait to read the rest!!!!
Pinkie Pie award:
Lyra seems pretty savvy today...
She is being attacked by the mafia, and still she has the brains to screw around with them? Lyra you are starting to look like you set this whole magic thing up just to take them down. Which is awesome.
Once again proving the ruling class of Equestria doesn't care. Lyra, you do realize a direct line to the Princesses lives right in your town, right?
And now for the first of many clues.
This is in code and needs translation. Good Luck,
.- .--. --.. / . - .-.. .- --.. --- / ..-. .--- --.. .. -.- .--. / .-- --. .-- .--. --- / .--. -.- .-. / -..- --- -... / ..-. --.. .... ...- - . -- / --. -. .--. --.- -.-. -... / .- -... - / -.- - --.- -.-. -. .... .-.-.- / .-.. -.. -..- / -... --.- . .-. .... / - --.. / ..-. - ...- / .--. ... .--- / .-. .-.. .--. / --.- .-.. ...- -.- / .--- ... / .-. -... .--- ...- --- -. .- / .-.. --- .- / -. -.. ...- .... / ... .. .... / .-- ..-. .-.. .--. .-.-.-
those two are creepy.....
and im going to use pony faces to show what i think about them
1.1.1.5/bmi/sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/532462_306563989463341_1440315129_n.jpg
This is a picture of Dark Star, and Essence, sans mafia outfits. Enjoy.
And yes, there is an eighth note inside the center of Dark Star's cutie mark, indicating his talent as a spell caster through music, (Music is a magic)
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw569_22022%20-%20artist-mihaaaa%20clapping%20clopping%20clopplauding%20no_neighsayers_here%20The_Great_And_Powerful_Trixie%20Trixie.gif
You made Trixie happy.
i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag83/TrollestiaSubject/Lyra%20Paranormal/Lite/humph_by_kurokaji11-d47qwtt.png
You're a real Trixie fan.
*Sees I haven't favorited this story yet*
DaWHAAAAAAAAAAA?!
I must correct this discrepancy!
*favs*
Later in...my life...I shall do a chapter-by-chapter review of this awesomesauce!
2273616
I look forward to it! Stay awesome my man.
Don't worry, my hospitalization in this chapter was brief, and If I check in for the same symptoms one more time, I will have filled up my stamp card. It's redeemable at the gift shop.
Errors found: "blue unicorn with a grey coat" This makes no sense.
The punctuation from "I can't I just simply can't." has escaped, while a random comma has appeared in "I will now, slide the ring over Trixie's horn."
Can't wait for more.
2278217
Why wait? More on it's way!
2278223 Awesome. Waking up in 3 hours is already sounding better.
Now things are coming into focus.
i wants tacos....
Wow, I was not expecting that!
Ya know, that little downpour could turn into a sort of mixed blessing. If Trixie is unable to hold in her urine and it's clear, then nopony will be able to tell the difference. Rainbow, your misguided malevolence has saved the day!
Also, I have to refresh myself with the information in the sub-plot. This meeting of the various equestrian musical bands has rather side-swiped me. lol
2511945
It's okay, the story is crawling a bit slower than I expected it to, and that is the unfortunate side result.
I figured you would message me first, but I'll get to work on this ASAP.
I'll get to work on this one from my hospital bed. Meanwhile, Iron Mane 3 was so awesome.
he he he world domination you took that from fairly odd parents
And lo, there was an unedited twofer. Let me just get to work on that.
2566428
Did you really expect anything less from me? A cultured sophistacated writer such as myself, often rips off, er.. I mean, pays homage to great works I enjoyed!
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I know, I am the bane of your existence!
Needs more editing. You have some your vs you're confusion and other problems.
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Ah, Will work on that, thank you!
Cute stuff, couple typos I spotted: reveling - should be revealing
The two ponies gulped and made there way to the desk and sat on the floor before it. - their
Also in at least one spot you forgot to capitalize Twilight
I'm really enjoying things a lot. I'm glad I found this fic.
2595189
I'll see if I can't fix those problems later.
Oh thanks!
Ouch, I love the idea that Lyra makes a fake guitar though, very clever! Two small typos prophets - a prophet is someone who spreads religious word usually. Profits are money a store makes n_n
and cheep is the sound a bird makes and cheap means you hate to spend money
homonyms are tough to tackle
Woo! even more madness to go n_n Three more small typos: imediatly - immediately
When they're discussing Lyra it should be Miss Heartstrings.
compressed - Unless you mean they're suggesting they will squish her down really small I think you mean compromised which means put at risk
Feel free to yell at me if this is bothering you
*grins* Very cool. Another typo for you
rediculously - ridiculously
2381841 *grins* Congrats on a cameo in such a cool fic n_n
*grins and applauds* Very nicely done. Two small typos: perused - Unless you mean he flew in the air and just watched Lore getting away I think you mean pursued which means he chased after lore.
"Oh my gosh, your right!" - should be you're Easy way to remember you're is just short for "you are" so put it in the sentence and see if it makes sense.