The Great and Powerful Escape Artist!

by Phoenix Quill


Lyra and the Musician Mafia.

Lyra watched as Twilight and Trixie exited the shop, headed to the bank to cash a check for one thousand bits.

She then tossed the suit back into the back room and sat down in her favorite chair so she could finish working on the electric bass guitar.

A few moments later she heard the tinkle of the shops door bell, and again she started her usual greeting while still working. "Hi and welcome to Lyra's Music Exchange and Artifacts Boutique, I'll be with you in a moment."

The voice that responded back was gruff, like a singer that had left his prime behind many years ago from yelling too hard into a microphone, "Take your time, we can wait."

She knew that voice, Lyra hated to admit it, but every musician knew that voice when he spoke. She looked up and saw them, the local duo of shock rock, Dark Star and Essence.

Now, allow me as the author to pause this story for a moment to explain why Lyra's heart came to a stop when she saw the face of Dark Star under the shadow of his fedora. Dark Star was not just some singer and guitarist that had run his one good looks and golden voice into the ground through years of personal abuse. No, he was also the founder of a particularly notorious group, The Musicians Mafia.

The Musicians Mafia was legally a savings and loans company, anypony that wanted to play music at a venue, had to get permission from Dark Star, or his partner Essence before they got the chance. If you wanted to cut a record, you had to use Dark Star's equipment. If you wanted to even be considered a real musician, you had to get Dark Star and Essence's approval that you were one.

And if you wanted to run a shop that sold music, or music equipment, or have a venue to play music, a tribute had to be paid to Dark Star and Essence.

"Well Miss Heartstrings, I am so glad to see you are doing moderately well in this location. But as you know, it is the first of the month. Payment due." The grey unicorn stretched out a hoof to Lyra from across the counter as Essence's wings twitched impatiently.

Lyra smiled sheepishly at the couple and lowered her eyes from his green ones, "I don't, that is to say at the moment, I can't pay... I don't have it."

Dark Star's face flashed with a hint of anger before he reached into his black suit jacket and pulled out a note pad, "I don't ask for much. We agreed that you would pay ten percent of your prophets. Now, I might be a stallion of business, but I am also a gentlecolt and would never hit a mare."

Lyra gave off a small sigh of appreciation before Essence spoke up, "However I might be a mare, and I ain't no lady." She raised a hoof reveling a switch blade built into her horseshoe. She flicked out the blade quickly and slammed the blade straight for Lyra's face!

Lyra flinched as the blade came straight for her eye ball and brought her forehooves up to protect herself. The blade swung up and slowed, lightly tapping the unicorn's horn, "Today you get a warning," the sun burnt orange pegasus said as she shook her blonde mane out of her face, "Next time I cut off part of your horn, and you live without magic till it grows back."

Lyra shuddered a bit as the blade lowered away from her. Essence folded the blade away and gave her partner an almost puppy dog look as she leaned into his side, "Baaaabe?" She said in a childish whiny voice, "Use that magnificent horn of yours to pop open the register for us love?"

Dark Star, having had just enough of his ego stroked from his wife and partner, complied as his green glow of magic enveloped the brass register. After a few moments, the cash drawer slid open and he pulled it out all the way and floated it to him, "Wait how am I going to make change?!"

Dark Star gave off a small groan as he pulled the bits out of the drawer and filling his and his wife's pockets, "I'm a musician and a business pony, not a punk." The register floated back in with about ten bits in change.

"Now according to this" Dark Star held up a note book, "you are still about a hundred bits short of your quota. Where is the money?"

Lyra then began to sweat, "Well, you see... I wanted to advertise my shop more, so I paid to sponsor a show, in the town square in exchange for advertising."

The pegasus was on top of Lyra so fast that if you blinked you would have missed what happened to get her from point a to b, "YOU SPONSORED ANOTHER MUSICIAN WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION! WHO THE BUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE LITTLE PONY!" The blade came out and drew up close to Lyra's cheek pressing its way into the flesh almost cutting, but not quite.

"NO NO MAGICIAN NOT MUSICIAN! It seemed like a good idea to get more business so I went with my gut! OH Celestia please don't stab me!"

The blade backed away a little bit before Essence spoke again, "How much did you give her?"

"A... a-a-a thousand bits."

Lyra could see the purple eyes of essence twitching for a few moments. The blade of the knife folded away as Essence got off of Lyra. Then the pegasus grabbed the bass guitar that Lyra worked so hard on and proceeded to smash it against the counter, sending splinters and electric parts flying all over the store as she yelled at the top of her very musical lungs.

Dark Star then placed an arm around his wife and hugged her, "Now you see what you've gone and done Lyra? You've made my wife angry. And if there is one thing I wont stand from anypony its making my wife mad." He stopped and let a deadly pause fill the air before continuing, "I'm going to be back. The day after this little magic show is done, you had better have the money, or everything that you see here. I will take for myself and give the rest away as a generous donation to needy colts and fillies, got it?"

"Yes sir..." The aquamarine unicorn said with a nod as the two ponies left the shop.

Lyra waited a full minute before going out the front door. She looked left, then right before shutting the door and grabbing a dustpan and broom in her magic.

She swept up the broken shards of the bass guitar from the floor and gave off a sigh as she pulled the still decent electric parts out. She then threw away the broken shards of wood and placed the electronic components and strings into a jar labeled parts for fake bass before she grabbed another wooden blank bass and pulled it out from under the shelf.

Useless guitar designed only to be smashed again and again by either Essence or Dark Star when they wished to intimidate her, and they usually did. It was a cheep shot at them, but better than having to explain to a customer where there instrument went. Or lose a brand new instrument to the smash happy hooves of Essence, and Dark Star.