//------------------------------//
// No Privacy For YOU! 
// Story: The Great and Powerful Escape Artist! 
// by Phoenix Quill 
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Prince Blueblood was in his private study as he looked over the bills of his estate, and ran a hoof through his mane, "Ugh, I'm going to have to cut back somewhere, these expenses are going to be the death of me."

His butler, Sound Advice raised an eye to this statement, "Perhaps Master Blueblood, if you were to cut back on your intake of hard liquor, salt licking, and hiring of escort services,"

"Are you insane? Those are the things that make life worth living! No, I think I shall raise the taxes for my district again."

Sound Advice raised an eyebrow as he used his magic to pour another glass of brandy for his employer, "Surely sir you would not do such a thing, after all do you wish to become the most hated unicorn in Equestria?"

Blueblood raised took a bite out of a salt block before drinking down the entire glass of brandy, "You mean I am not already? Then who is? And be quick about it before I go off into the land of jitters!"

Sound Advice turned around to prepare a bucket in case his master needed it, "I believe it is a traveling magician by the name of Trixie Lulamoon." He turned around with the bucket at the ready, "Master Blueblood?"

The master of the house sat in the chair covered in his own vomit and fecal matter while his tongue hung out his mouth. His eyes were rolling about as he babbled like a newborn foal that couldn't master basic Equestrian language.

The butler gave off a sigh as he went to a near by sink to fill the bucket with hot soapy water, "Well your most hated in my book anyway."





Trixie was settling into a corner of the box with a sigh. The real trick of this stunt wasn't so much her escape, but the boredom of being trapped in a box at all times.

Taking off her cape and hat she lay them down on the corner into a make shift sleeping area as she lay down with a sigh, "This is going to be the death of me. I Can't stand this boredom."

"Hey there!"

Trixie jumped up with a start and was rewarded with bopping her skull on the wooden top of the box, "OUCH! Who's there?"

The pegasus outside the glass box smiled as she leaned forward on the cloud she was resting on, "My name's Flitter, I just thought maybe you could use some company."

The unicorn in the box huffed as she stuck her nose in the air, "Very well! Trixie will allow you to keep Trixie company." 

The pegasus giggled lightly behind her hoof, "Well, can you tell me where you come from?"

Trixie closed her eyes as she flashed back in her mind to her earliest memories that she had.

A little blue unicorn filly sat in the back of a classroom filled with many ponies her own age. She never had seen so many other ponies before in her life. The other ponies seemed to ignore her entirely as she played with a toy wand trying to entertain a small army of toys before her. "And now for Trixie's greatest trick, I will allow you to pick a card any card!"

The stuffed toy ursa major simply fell back from its seated position as Trixie gave off a sigh, "Why don't I have any friends?"

It was years later and Trixie was in Magic School. The unicorn frowned behind her thick glasses as she tried to adjust the sweater on her school uniform, "Hey Trixie!" 

She turned around to look and saw her, Hot Trot, the most popular girl in school, and she was talking to her! Her mind went abuzz with many thoughts about how this was it, and she was finally going to be accepted into the popular clique and how she will finally have friends of her own. Trixie smiled wide showing off her braces as Hot Trot leaned brushed a hoof through her mane, "Tell me, what is the physical dimensions of a shut locker?"

Trixie frowned paused for a moment as she tapped her chin with a hoof, "I'm not sure, what are they?"

There was a bright flash of light and suddenly Trixie found herself stuffed inside the confined space of somepony else's locker. "Have fun nerd!"

It was a few years later, and Trixie was packing up a wagon, "You'll see mom. Some day I'll be famous! You'll be proud of me then!"

Her mother yawned into her hoof, "Good luck with that. Don't get eaten by a bear when you're out there, I can't afford to hold a funeral for you."

Trixie felt the tears brim behind her eyes, gone was the nerd from those school days. She had the perfect smile, and perfect vision thanks to a spell she learned. Yet nothing could sting more than what her mother said. "Goodbye mother." As she left the border of Hoofington she looked back at the village and quietly vowed to return some day so that they would all see how well she did. How famous she became, and how loved she is without them. "Then they will love me, everypony will." 

Trixie blinked at Flitter and tried to smile as well as she could, "I would rather not talk about that."





In Canterlot, two ponies met in secret. They looked at each other and nodded before one dropped off a paper wrapped package, "Is that it?"

The other pony nodded under her hat as she backed away into the shadows. The pink unicorn picked up the package and quickly stuffed it into her bags before running off to another part of the city.

Once she reached her destination, Beauty Brass pulled out the package and could hardly believe her eyes, inside was a stack of papers, along with a reel of recording tape. Quickly as she could Baritone placed the tape in a player and began to listen.

"This is agent nine, reporting to you on suspects twelve and thirteen respectively. Evidence has been hard to come by, however I have recorded these ponies giving a shakedown." The sound suddenly shifted as Baritone plugged in her set of headphones effectively blocking out any unwanted listeners from finding out where the recording came from, or the names of Agent Nine, or suspects Twelve or Thirteen. 

As she listened Baritone flipped through the paper evidence as her smile grew wider and wider. "I'm gonna catch you two..."





Penny Pincher gave off a sigh as he left the bank he worked at and trotted homeward.

Suddenly he looked to his side and said softly, "You don't even know who I am, do you?"

"Nope!" the purple earth pony said with a smile, "But I wave at everypony!"

The green and copper stallion gave off a sigh and walked back home, muttering about alcoholics.





Twilight Sparkle sat in her library flipping through the pages of a book with a small smile, the peace of the evening was interrupted by the sudden sound of Spike throwing open her bedroom door, "TWILIGHT! It's terrible, a disaster!"

Twilight jumped out of her bed as quick as she could, "What is it? Do we need to write the princess? Is there an attack on the town?!"

"Worse," Spike started as he pulled something forward, "We're out of double chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream!"

Twilight stared at Spike for a few moments. She felt a tinge of dizziness as she looked at her book and realized that it had shut without a bookmark. She looked back at her dragon assistant with a frown, "Maybe you need to stay the night with Pinkie Pie..."





"And that's how I make my tacos!" Flitter finished as Trixie sat in the box in front of her.

Trixie felt her eye twitch for a few moments and tried to keep her calm, "Facinating. You know what? I would love to try one."

"Oh how wonderful!" Flitter smiled as she clopped her hooves together, "I'll go get you some!" she then jumped off the cloud and started to flitter her way home to get Trixie one.

"Finally, maybe now I can do some meditating."  Trixie said with a sigh as she sat down on top of her cape in the corner and closed her eyes to relax.

"Only two more days of this, just try to keep calm... Find your inner self... Wait stop thinking... okay, now I'm not thinking, wait yes I am. Okay. No thoughts."

As Trixie tried to clear her mind for meditation she sighed, and some clouds moved aside to bathe the blue unicorn in the sky with the light of a full moon. The stars twinkled around her as if they were dancing to a song that no mortal pony could understand. 

Trixie felt herself relax, and tried to reach that higher state of being, "I'M BACK! And I got Tacos!"

Trixie immediately jumped, and as a result again bopped her head on the roof of the box. She attempted to smile at the intruder again, "Great! Now, how are you going to get it inside of this sealed box?"

Flitter looked over the box for a few moments, "Oh yeah... Well I guess I'll eat them!" She then sat back down on a cloud and munched contently on the crispy shell wrapped around vegetables and ground spicy soy and cheese. 

As Trixie tried to block out the pegasus's constant munching noises she looked out over the town below her, "It's going to be a long night..."