• Published 25th Feb 2016
  • 775 Views, 63 Comments

Please Feel Sorry for my Character kthx - The Boy Zone



Twilight Sparkle adopts a child, buys some groceries, and commits suicide.

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Comments ( 63 )

Edit: My bad, didn't see the obvious ass comedy tag. Hell, that was actually kinda funny

6971675
The point-------->

Your head

I laughed, I cried. I cried while laughing. You're the best.
Literally 10/10.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/985/950/1df.jpg

This was hilarious! :D

I lost it at this little gem:

Then, just outside of Sugarcube Corner, Twilight saw a truck full of blind puppies crash into a school for the deaf, the shrapnel from which killed Applejack right in front of AppleBloom who cried a whole lot. Her tears caused a handicap child who was just learning to walk again to slip and break his spine, which crippled him forever.

Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaattttttt the hell did i just read

It's beautiful, like thousands of tiny shards of glass in my eyes.

I give it a Cloud Strife outta Shadow the hedgehog
:raritydespair::pinkiesad2::fluttercry::ajsleepy::fluttershyouch:

._. Not sure how this was meant to be funny, but uh... Yeah, nope, that's it.

Well, this was a thing.

kinda funny too. Nice job author, you get a follow.

I am a bad person for enjoying your stories.

Reading this was like enjoying a nice cup of tea— filled with over a hundred different poisons boiling in a hot brew of whatever sickness it was that killed off Santa Clause.

Not sure whether to upvote because of weirdly creepy content or downvote because of the strange creepy content.

also I can't take care of her because I was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer."

https://youtu.be/CnnTqFTHGuc?t=33s

Every overly-dramatic angst fic on this site in a nutshell.

Literally cannot stop laughing. I am a terrible person.

That is some high quality troll ficing, have an upvote

THIS.

OVERBLOWN SAD FICS. That, and HiE's where the character has a hilariously bad backstory. Okay, look, let them have a realistically bad amount of shit in their life, but when we have two orphans abandoned by their mother divided by a heartless foster family, where the son drifts into a gang while the daughter gets raped by the stepdad, I kinda have a hard time taking you seriously.

In reality, someone can have all the help in the world, even people who care for them and try to help them, and still want to kill themselves, why do you think teen suicide rates are so high? You don't need to up the sads to ridiculously stupid levels to have a decent tragic backstory, even if the tragic backstory for the human in HiE is an overused trope.

6972899
What if the whole point of the hyperboles was that you aren't supposed to take it seriously?

6972915 Oh, sorry, I love this. I meant to say that at one point, and wound up just ranting about my most hated overused tropes. Have a like and fave!

6971769 Are we talking modern-day interpretation of Cloud Strife, or the original, pre-Kingdom Hearts Cloud Strife?

Either way, nah. Definitely a Bring Me To Life out of Crawling.

Also, just noticed after a much calmer reread.

A cope who had a pregnant wife and was two days from retirement showed up, and was gunned down by the Japanese lady.

Unless this is a crossover with a show about a cop who becomes the Pope in a misunderstanding, this is a typo. In less mistake-influenced news...

The Japanese lady then lit a special ed building on fire, and when Rainbow Dash rushed in to save everyone, her wings got burnt off. Knowing that she would never fly again, Rainbow stayed in the fire, burning herself to death.

All I could think of was the part where Skull Face got crushed while having a revengegasm. This is after he says "SUCH LUST FOR REVENGE, WHOOOOOOOOOOOO?!"

This story is really sad, like, so sad please cry.

media.giphy.com/media/hppWdK8gcmzXq/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

Tried to fix a typo, ended up unpublishing the chapter, that'll teach me to edit my story.

IMN

Do I like this? Do I hate this? Is it even possible for me to have both feelings regarding this story?

I mean it is over the top sadness mixed with dark images and themes. Yet, it's not even trying to take itself seriously. From the first word till the last, it was so obvious that simply by reading the description it was clear what the author was intended.

At the same time it is a well written story, everything from pacing to the style feel specifically designed to convey such a message.

However one would ask, what is the message that this fic is trying to convey? Is it a philosophical take on the vanity of modern life? An attempt at self reflection at our own life in face of insurmountable despair? Or is it a mockery at the taboos and ethics of fan fiction writing?

I personally have found myself amused by your fic which might indicate something more about myself than what you have written. I was particularly amused by Pinkie's suicide letter.

So after much contemplation, I will dislike your story but will still fav it, you know, as a reflection of my mixed feelings for it.

P.S. :You forgot that Spike was roasted alive for a feast. And whomever ate him got poisoned from his juicy fat and died a horrible excruciating pain. Just saying.

What... even...

[everything prior]
Twilight decided she'd had enough social interaction for one day, so she started to head home.

Yes. This is awful.
And, I couldn't stop laughing.
Darn it.
Well played.

Have a thumb.

You also forgot where Celestia was raped to death by her own father and Luna had to work herself to death helping the center for blind orphan kittens until she finally broke down due to a crisis caused by the loss of her mother to supercancer.

My only thing with this story is the Caitlyn Jenner thing in the end there. Don't bring real life controversies into a trollfic dude, just stick to the troll. But that's a super small thing in a fic that overall had me grinning and snickering through my lunch break.

6973519
That comment took me for a ride.

I think a little part of me died, then got reanimated, then died again, then resurrected only to starve to death after getting poisoned by an apple that was given to me by a dying old lady, before getting stabbed in a mugging for the change for which I bought the apple with, before getting thrown into prison for bleeding everywhere.

Also, dead puppies.

I wanted to cry, but I was too busy laughing.

This is the funniest shit I've read in a very long time.

You know the old circus trick where they stuff a whole bunch of clowns in to a tiny car? This fic is kinda like that.

6975016
Except they were sad clowns.

6975026 Sad ORPHAN clowns, I hope.

6975387
I only sparingly use the orphan card.

6973019 Im talking of course bout' the old misunderdtood Cloud personality of "i am my own monster" and "cant-save-planet-might-as-well-get-alzheimers"

Also dang that's a pretty high score

...

What was that?!

It's supposed to be a comedy(?), but even after re-reading it, including all the comments, I still don't get it.

Really.
To all people who got it:
Please explain it to me, so I can have my mental peace.


Side note:
You forgot to add the cover-source.

6975616 It's meant to be a parody of those painfully cliche and try-hard sadfics that just bombard the readers with stuff like death, rape, and abuse in a shallow attempt to make the readers feel something.

No suicidal Luna? Shenanigans!

Pointless over-the-top twagedy, but mostly ignorable. I was going to just close the tab and leave, but then I saw the last line.

Downvoted.

6975616

This is, while not exactly funny (your milage may vary, of course), a comedy in the sense that it cannot possibly be a tragedy. A tragedy, you see, necessarily involves some person's suffering, and there is none of that actually present here.

Not because there's no suffering, of course, but because there are no people. Now I am not using the word in the strange sense that refers strictly to humans-- no, the word person must, of course, include all things that have personality. And there is none of that here.

What we have is a series of cardboard cutouts awkwardly going through the motions. If you look carefully, you can see the author's fingers moving the pieces about on his improvised stage. Maybe a kitchen table. The narration? Well, imagine a slightly mean ten-year-old boy forced to play with his younger sister. Using her My Little Pony toys. So, naturally, he narrates horrible things happening to all the ponies in a voice just dramatic enough to make her mad. He even adds the sound effects: "Whoosh!" goes the bus full of orphans!

And in the end, all they are is pieces of plastic.

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