• Member Since 8th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2018

VitalSpark


Something, something, something, dark side. Something, something, something, complete.

Comments ( 44 )

6737032
WARNING: Do not write if you are allergic to dust.

6737032 Oh god no. •-•

6737109
Oh, hey Rootbeer! What brings you here?

6737131
That figures. I was wondering if this story tied in with my bandwagon contribution, Celestia Masturbates.

I wonder what it's about.

6737157
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

6737032 You keep your mouth shut. Nobody here wants that, don't give anybody ideas!

6737032 I stand with 6737396. We do NOT need that!:pinkiesick:

6737139
Pet play, choking, blood, spontaneous self-immolation, and… errr… masturbation.

Dude, seriously? Not even the fucking pet bird is safe anymore? What is it with people here?

6738175
Shrug.
Somebody had already done Tom Masturbates.

Also, this is not the first clop fic featuring Philomena. (Though there are not many.)

6738199
Thanks. You know, when these X Masturbates stories started to appear, the first thing that jumped to mind was your collab.

No one evens.

But, hey, at least it's anthro, right?
Imagine if it was actual phoenix-phoenix Philomena...

Actually, don't.

6738204
Yeah... I need to get back to that one. Luna still has a dream she needs to masturbate in. :trollestia:

6738242
That would be weird.

6738242
I did consider it. The cloaca presents interesting possibilities.

6737032
No, we still need one of Antgeline.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/10/21/1007115__safe_fluttershy_animated_scene+interpretation_eyes_the+one+where+pinkie+pie+knows_eye+shimmer_ant_artist-colon-wolverfox_ant+farm.gif
(Which I am seriously considering making just to post alongside the greentext of anon fucking her I wrote)

Well, the clickbait brought me here, but now I'm trying to decide whether to read it or not.

… something had better get set on fire before the end of the story. :rainbowwild:

EDIT: Provisionally accepted. I'll just headcanon it as her owning a fireproof bed.

6739265
If you had a pet phoenix, under what set of circumstances can you imagine buying them a bed which was not fire proof.

So if Philomena is anthro here, does that mean she's more like a servant to Celestia or a slave?

6739659
:twistnerd: "Princess, we've got a problem. The Canterlot Intelligence Agency is producing approximately 400 pounds of paperwork per day, we've just run out of storage space, and we've got to dispose of the old material securely for national security reasons."

:trollestia: "Don't worry. I've got this."

6739459
Still won't come out to be the weirdest one. I've got one in the works, but I won't reveal the character just yet.

6739459
We'll see. Somebody has to.

6739885
She is probably close to what you'd call a concubine, but in-story is referred to as a pet.

6740005
6740211 seasons 2 and 3 have a mutual masturbation session, with each orgasm revealing a new à la corn princess. Of course, season three comes twice as quickly.

reads title i dont even...just...just why.....where does the internet draw the god dame line

well folks anyway enjoy your...mlp bird porn

(p.s i will admit i am being unfair and this is a bit of a joke not my real opinon there is much worse i have seen on the internet and i know rule 34 applies this just caught me off guard and i wanted to joke about it. )

(p.p.s no matter how much i am paid i will not read or watch bird porn sorry.)

6741528
It's anthro though. She's mostly human, but with wings and some parts of her have feathers.

Al righty then.

Dammit...

Now I gotta look-up anthro pheonixes....

6777372
There is surprisingly little art of Philomena as human or anthro. And finding it can be tricky too because any searches tend to result in pictures of a human/anthro Celestia or Fluttershy but still with a feral phoenix.

A couple of weeks ago, my sister was bored and looking for something to draw, and I requested a picture of anthro Philomena. I really love it.
pre01.deviantart.net/a934/th/pre/i/2015/355/e/4/philomena_mlp_by_infinityprincessart-d9kw62g.png

This is gorgeous too.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/12/16/498611/large.jpeg

And here's the image I cropped to use as a cover for this story:
derpicdn.net/img/2015/7/8/932403/large.png

There's not a lot else really.

6777552 "Oh, that's quite alright..."

*spins chair around*

"ARTISTS! FORGET THAT LOGO COMMISSION WE'RE GETTING PAID TO DO! CREATE ANTHROPOMORPHIC PHEONIX-GIRLS AT ONCE!"

*spins chair back around*

"There. Done."

6777570
You could apply the same logic to pictures of futa Celestia penetrating Twilight Sparkle from behind, yet there exist plenty of those.

The fact that this has exactly 1,000 words makes me happy.

6834042
If you go to my user page and scroll down, you should find a collection of five such stories.

Bird porn?
Bird porn!

I gave this a thumbs up for trying something different. I can see why people don't like it, but I thought it was good.

6738175 I know you aren't new here to the Internet, so what's with the legitimate shock and astonishment?

I kinda thought that the bird would be anthro but I guess I was mistaken, I think?????

I find it disturbing that I am reading this in a household full of birds. I have fat chickens eating seeds no more than 5 feet away from me, and a cockatiel named king lewi on my shoulder.

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