• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 3rd, 2015

BrassHeart


T
Source

Twilight Sparkle, Arcane Mage, knows that there is some truth to the story of Nightmare Moon, but her mentor, Princess Celestia, dismisses the matter in a heartbeat. She sends Twilight to the town of Magiville to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, much to Twilight's distaste.
Unbeknownst to her, the darkness is gathering in Mystica. Assassins lurk in the shadows, Undead gather in the forest, werewolves sharpen their claws, and criminals and mercenaries prepare themselves.
To win the coming battle, Twilight will have to rely on her wits, her magic, and the five mages she's been saddled with. No matter how much they annoy her.
Rated teen for violence and language. Humanized, action-y. Based on the first two episodes, with some large changes made.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 179 )

I get very weird vibes by this, but it's interesting so I'll track it.

Finally. Me and Yondy aren't the only MLM fanfic writers now. Instant faviroute. Be sure to check out my and yondy's FICA as well. Mine is "My Little Mages: A Mask Of Insanity", and yondy's is called "Tales Of Mystika: My Little Mages".

Hrm. Stories like this, where you just retell the first two episodes in a different setting, usually have a pretty high bar to clear. This one's well-written, at least, and integrating the later canon in from the beginning is a good idea.

On an unrelated note, I totally thought the necromancer at the end was going to be Fluttershy.:pinkiecrazy:

stephano said:
first!

Not anymore!
*deletes*

Well this is a treat! It's well-written, and as a plus I understand the looks and workings of the mage world thanks to that awesome art. Keep it up, this is turning out to be very interesting :D

Crysalis + undead, werewolves and the Shadowbolt.

Shit's goin' down, yo.

This is really epic, I can't wait for more.

More mages, more mages, rah rah rah!

“If I fall asleep and wake up in a bathtub full of ice cubes, then so help me…”

Yup. That happens! They cut out your shplorg and drain your precious fluids and sell them as magical ingredients!

Spike, dude, that's creepy.

Iron Will may be even better than he is in the show, and he is pretty awesome in the show.

Alicorn? Flight of the Alicorn reference? If so I approve.

Hrm. Given the cast of antagonists you've been assembling so far, Discord is... notably absent.:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

1135438
'Cause he's a whole other entity than NMM.

Pinkie is best mage.

1135438
He's sorta busy, what with being granite and all.

I think the journey through Everfree wíll be fun. It probably won't resemble the almost ritual tests of the TV show, of course.

I totally did not see what happened with Celestia coming. Philomena to the rescue though, it seems.

Love that Twilight's immediate reaction upon seeing NMM was to go on the attack.

1141967
I guess they don't call her the Queen of Phoenixes for nothing.

i wonder what other plans you have for this story cause im loving it so far i cant wait to read more. track and a upvote

That turn undead incantation was awesome (btw, doesn't Faust means "fist" in German? Good goddess for smiting, I mean) and really like the bickering bad guys: no camaraderie in that camp.

Applejack the paladin, hell yeah! I had a feeling that was going to be awesome and it was.

Also, Faust as an author-creator with call outs to Powerpuff Girls and Fosters? Fantastic backstory, just wonderful.

Brilliant prayer for a paladin.

Blossom the Brave, Bubbles the Bashful, an’ Buttercup the Brash

lel

I approve of merging the Ursa Minor incident in as Fluttershy's trial, different enough from the original trip into the forest but with plenty of flavor from the show.

“My expectations are for you to fail miserably,” Hah!

I wonder who Iron Will will be taking on, I was assuming originally that it would be Shy but I'm guessing not now.

Goddammit, Pinkie:facehoof:

A frying pan? That's brilliant. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm loving how you're handling the story.

nice use of raven's chant i loved raven in teen titans and i'm surprised you used her chant though with twilight and raven both being voiced by tara strong it's a good reference :pinkiehappy:

Steven! Yes!

That was hilarious, and it always bugged me a little that in the show Steven was happy with a half orange/half purple mustache.

“…You monster." :rainbowlaugh:

Y'know, basically making someone "chaotic evil" and then thinking you will control them has to be one of the more stupid things you can do...

i enjoyed the Pinkmania scene:pinkiecrazy: very cool and creative

That was a genius way of showing how a chaotic based person would have reacted. And a marvelous way to work in the song. :derpytongue2:

Epic Pinkie is epic. I love the explanation that her abilities come from some sort of shadow assassin training.

“Kidney! Kidney! I got his kidney!” :pinkiecrazy:

Oh yeah, time for some individual fights. Looking forward to Rarity's, she didn't really get a chance to shine earlier.

I swear one day these cliffhangers will be the end of me!

More please =D This was COOOL! I hope you cont the story.

Wow, that was a great ending to a great fic. You don't plan on continuing though, do you?

that was one of the best human fics ever

1181409
(sigh)
Probably not. When I said that I spent my entire summer working on this? Not a joke. Thus, it honestly pains me that this fic has gotten mediocre attention at best. I know, I probably sound like an attention-whore (and don't get me wrong, you people who did read it are f:yay:ing awesome), but my first fic (Butterflies In Her Stomach) got into the feature box back when I didn't even know what the feature box was. I enjoy getting a lot of attention. If I'm going to spend hours writing something, I'd like it to be something that lots of people read. Besides, it's hard to get an audience with humanized fics. There's only one kind of humanized fic that gets lots of readers, and I don't think I have to tell you what that is. hint: it's clop.
So, while I did have some thoughts for more My Little Mages stories, they've been put on the back burner. Unless, of course, I was to suddenly get a massive influx of readers, upvotes, and comments because all the awesome people who read this told all their friends about it. Then maybe I'd reconsider. Otherwise, it's back to simple ponies for me.
hint f:yay:ing hint

1182037
Totally understandable, and I understand where you're coming from. More than half of the stories in the featured box are rubbish and poorly written, often filled with mistakes (and they, too often, sound like they're written by 12 year olds despite the fact that they're probably written by college-level students).

I cringe every time there's a featured story that still has the its/it's mistake, and that's quite often and among the other common mistakes.

This story was very well done with good writing. I can't say I remember not seeing any mistakes, but if I had then they were but small typoes. I've been captivated throughout and thoroughly enjoyed this; it's easily one of the best stories in the poni-fandom I've read thus far. You know that feeling when the story absolutely absorbs you and makes time fly by? This was one of them - and I've (honestly) read hundreds of fics.

Good job, and don't despair over not getting the attention you truly deserve. It's just one of those gripes of our society we have to live with.

This may be one of my favorite fictions yet, it was extremely well written and interested me from the start. You're a fantastic writer and I look forward to reading whatever you decide to do next.

Fantastic ending to a great story, definitely gets added to my user page wall of recommended stories.

Any likelihood that you will be submitting this to EQD? They recently posted another humanized ponies story so you might have a shot, and I think the story itself is worth it.

i love the mage of it makes it so fun to and how you part little changes to match and its still fun to read. and i love how you did Pinkmania its amazing i wouldnt mind a back story on that overall 5/5 good job sir:moustache:

Lol "That'll do I suppose" :derpytongue2:

Bob:What's the final rating Jack?
Jack:The results are in, with an astonishing :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel:/ :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel: :scootangel:

WOw. This story is really really good.

1182037

It has it's own page on tv tropes. This page to be exact. That's how i found this diamond in the rough. I liked the world building you did. It made the world familiar yet new.

You should honestly continue the story. It was well written and just because the attention is minimal it's a good thing when practically all of that attention is about something good.

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