//------------------------------// // Worst Reunion Ever // Story: My Little Mages: The Nightmare's Return // by BrassHeart //------------------------------// MY LITTLE MAGES: THE NIGHTMARE'S RETURN WORST REUNION EVER ~~~~~~ “Hey, Twilight? Are we…” “No, Pinkie. We are not there yet!” “That wasn’t what I was going to say,” Pinkie said. “I was going to ask if we were lost.” Twilight sighed, stepping over another root. “No, we are not lost. We are going the right way.” “You sure?” Pinkie asked. “Yes, I’m sure,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. “If I may,” A voice spoke up, making the six mages jump in surprise. It was a man wearing light, black armor, almost invisible in the darkness. Only part of his face was visible under his hood. He was leaning against a tree, as if he had been waiting for them for some time. He pointed over his shoulder. “The castle is in that direction.” “…Uh, thanks?” Twilight said suspiciously. Pinkie squeaked and hid behind Twilight, trying to make herself as small as possible. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” Fluttershy whispered. “I’m not here, I’m not here, I’m not here…” Pinkie Pie chanted in a hushed voice, her face ashen. “You are Twilight Sparkle, correct?” The man asked. “And if I am?” Twilight responded, summoning her staff behind her back. “Then I have an offer for her. One that I recommend she accept,” The man said. “What kind of offer?” Twilight asked suspiciously. "Who are you?" "My name is not important," The man said. "I am the Grand Master of the Shadow Blades, Her Majesty's most loyal followers. But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here so that we can discuss the terms of your surrender, Twilight Sparkle." "My what?" Twilight echoed. Applejack's hand went to her sword, and Rainbow Dash slowly pulled her bow off her back. "Your surrender," The Grand Master said. "I am willing to be merciful. Her Majesty only wants you; the others are of no importance. If you give yourself up peacefully, then they will be spared." "And if I refuse?" Twilight asked, summoning her staff. "Then I will have no choice but to kill all of you," The Grand Master said, straightening himself. “Did you actually think I would even consider something so ridiculous?” Twilight asked. “After we’ve come so far, I’m not going to give up because of some idle threats! Just the fact that you're trying to get me to give myself up shows that you're scared of us!” “Do not mistake my mercy for fear, Twilight Sparkle," The Grand Master said. "I wished to end this with as little bloodshed as possible, but... clearly, you have it in your mind that I am an opponent you can defeat." “I like my odds,” Twilight said. “There’s six of us and only one of you.” The Grand Master chuckled. “Not for long,” He said, and he vanished, dropping through the ground as if it was water. “What the – where'd he go?” Rainbow Dash asked, looking around in confusion. There was no sign of him anywhere. "Maybe he was an illusion?" Applejack suggested, pulling her sword off her back. There was a deep chuckle that seemed to come from everywhere around them. "Can illusions do this?" The Grand Master asked. There was the sound of something small shooting through the air, and Twilight yelped. Her hand flew to her neck as if she was trying to swat a bug, and she pulled out the offending object: a small needle. She stared at it for a moment, her eyes crossing. “Ohhh… thhaaat’ssss chhheeeeaap," She said, her voice slowing down. Twilight stumbled and fell, and the Grand Master materialized out of the shadows. He grabbed the unconscious Twilight, and for a split second, his eyes locked with Pinkie Pie’s. “Impossible,” He whispered, and then he faded through the shadows again, taking Twilight with him. “Get back here!” Rainbow Dash shouted, flying after him. “Dashie, no!” Pinkie screamed, but Rainbow Dash had already separated from the group. The Grand Master dropped down from the trees, kneeing her in the back and knocking her out of the air. They didn’t hit the ground; they dropped through it, vanishing completely. A second later, there was a brief scram of pain in the distance. “He’s over there!” Applejack said, turning to run towards the scream. Pinkie Pie grabbed her arm and dug her heels into the ground. “Don’t! That’s what he wants!” Pinkie begged, her voice devoid of her trademark good cheer. She sounded scared. “How do you know?” Applejack replied, her voice raised. “Please, please don’t ask me! I just need you to take me seriously for once! Twilight and Rainbow Dash are probably still alive, but…” “R-Rarity!” Fluttershy shrieked. Applejack and Pinkie turned to see the Grand Master receding back into the shadows, carrying a limp Rarity. Pinkie Pie suddenly realized that there was a respectable distance between herself and Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, get over here, quick!” She shouted, beckoning for Fluttershy to hurry. The Druid nodded shakily, and took one step towards Pinkie and Applejack. “Not fast enough,” The Grand Master said in Fluttershy’s ear. Before she even had time to scream, he pinched her where her shoulder and neck met, and she fell unconscious. The Grand Master and Fluttershy melted into the shadows, and they were gone. Finally, Applejack couldn’t take it any longer, and she broke away from Pinkie. “Come back here, you rotten sonuva-” “No!” Too late. The Grand Master rose out of the ground in front of Applejack, and used her momentum to throw her. They vanished from sight, and Pinkie could only hear the sound of Applejack screaming as the Grand Master delivered the final blow. Pinkie was alone. "If you wanted to talk to me, you could have just asked!" Pinkie said to the darkness, flicking a deck of cards out of her sleeve. She whipped around at the sound of a cracking branch, and threw a few cards like knives. They vanished into the darkness, and Pinkie heard them make a short thunk as they dug into an innocent tree. "Pinkamena Diane Pie," A gravelly voice said from behind Pinkie. Pinkie yelped, jumping a full foot into the air. The Grand Master was standing right behind her, glaring angrily at her. “What on earth are you doing here?” “Nice to see you, too, Daddy,” Pinkie said with as much venom as she could muster. It wasn’t much. “Don’t give me that attitude, Pinkamena,” The Grand Master said, pulling down his hood. He was an old man, with thinning gray hair and plenty of scars and wrinkles. His face was not one very familiar with smiling. “You’re not the boss of me!” Pinkie retorted, going nose to nose with Clydesdale Augustus Pie, the current Grand Master of the Shadow Blades Order. For a few seconds, father and daughter glared at each other. Then, their eyes softened, and they embraced for the first time in years. “I missed you, Daddy,” Pinkie admitted. “I missed you too, Pinkamena,” Clyde said. “How’s Mom?” Pinkie asked, pulling away from her father. “She’s fine. Misses you as well.” “You’re not still mad that I ran away?” Pinkie asked sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. “Mad?” Clyde shook his head. “I was never mad. Truth be told, I was simply impressed you were able to escape the compound.” “Eh, it was nothing,” Pinkie said, a bit of pride creeping into her voice. “You were ten.” “It wasn’t very hard! You left the gate open!” Clyde chuckled, shaking his head. “You saw an opportunity, and you took it. A trait of a skilled assassin," He said. "You would have made a fantastic Blade." Pinkie grimaced. “I… I might have,” She said uneasily. 'Oh jeez. Heeere we go.' “You know…” Clyde cleared his throat. “I’m sure that the rest of the Order would welcome you back with open arms. If you…” “No,” Pinkie said sternly. “Thank you, Daddy, but… I can’t.” Clyde clenched his fists. “You were born to be a Blade!” “And I decided I didn’t want to be one!” Pinkie shouted back. “I don’t want to be an assassin! I don’t want to spend all my time lurking around in the dark! I don’t want to kill people because some dusty old lady on the moon told me to! I want to live!” “If you stay with your ‘friends’, you will die!” Clyde yelled. "The Queen is a thousand times stronger than the six of you put together! Facing her is paramount to suicide!" “At least I'll have tried!” Pinkie screamed, her voice ten times louder than her father’s. "I'm sorry, Daddy, but I stopped being Pinkamena Diane Pie a looong time ago! I have a new life now! I have friends! I work at a bakery that's made out of gingerbread! Magiville is my home! And I'm not gonna give it up so I can live in some dark, smelly, castle where nobody ever smiles! I'm..." She took a deep breath, calming herself. "I'm Pinkie Pie. And I do miss my family sometimes, but... I can't give up what I've spent so long to make." Clyde stared at her in silence. He closed his eyes and sighed in defeat. “So be it.” With speed that came from a lifetime of dedicated practice, Clyde lashed out, jabbing a sharp needle into a vein in Pinkie’s neck. Pinkie’s eyes shot open, and she quickly backflipped away. She landed in a crouch, and pulled the needle out of her neck. “Wha… wha’d you do to me?” She asked, her vision starting to swim. “Wha’s on this… pointy thingy?” “A poison derived from a plant native to the Everfree,” Clyde said, pulling his hood back up. “Heart’s Desire. One petal can remove all inhibitions, making a person realize their deepest desires, things they had been keeping from themselves.” “I’m… not gonna… become… a Blade…” Pinkie said groggily, falling to her hands and knees as she broke out in a cold sweat. “We’ll see,” Clyde said, turning away from his daughter. “Come and find me when you come to a decision. I’ll be waiting.” “You… are the worst… dad… ever…” Pinkie said, the last of her conscious mind fleeing her. The Grand Master was already gone. ~~~~~~ The Grand Master tapped his foot impatiently. He looked at his pocket watch, and then at the five unconscious mages bound and gagged on the ground next to him. “Should be a few minutes,” He decided, tucking his watch away. The sound of shuffling leaves caught his attention, and he turned to look. He smiled when he realized who it was. It was his daughter. Her hair had lost its curliness, and now hung limply, covering her face. She was hanging her head, as if in shame, and her shoulders were slumped, letting her arms swing idly with each step she took. She was no longer as violently bright as she had been; her hair and jacket were both much darker shades than they had been minutes before. “I trust you have come to a decision, Pinkamena?” Clyde asked, standing up and facing his daughter. His daughter was silent, as if she was weighing her options. “…Yes,” She said. Before Clyde could say anything, Pinkamena sank through the shadows at her feet. “I decided to kill you first,” She whispered in his ear, forming out of the shadows behind Clyde. There was a sudden pain in his arm, and Clyde screamed. He fell through the shadow of the tree he was standing under, and rose out of the shadow of another nearby tree. He pulled the black knife out of his arm, and stared at it in shock. Blood was pouring freely from his arm now. “Ooh, that's a lotta blood!” His daughter giggled. Clyde’s eyes snapped up, and he realized that she was standing in front of him, holding six knives identical to the one he had just been stabbed with. “But it's not enough!” She swiped at him as if the knives were claws, and Clyde was able to only narrowly avoid them. They cut through the armor on his stomach, leaving behind a thin scratch on his skin that soon became wet with blood. “That’s it?” Pinkamena said sadly. “C’mon! Bleed some more for me, Daddy!” She threw all six of her knives, and they flew in strange, curving patterns, zeroing in on the Grand Master. The old man dropped through the shadows, and reappeared above his daughter, sword at the ready. “Bo-ring!” Pinkamena said, more knives appearing in her hands with a flick of her wrists. She held them up and blocked her father’s sword with ease, her arms bending at unnatural angles. “I thought you were gonna put up a fight!” She turned her head like she was an owl, looking her father dead in the eye. “But this is so boring!” “The – the Heart’s Desire… It wasn’t supposed to do this!” Clyde yelled, swinging furiously at the monster wearing his daughter’s skin. She was able to block all his attacks perfectly, and she was laughing the entire time. “Feels like it worked to me!” She giggled. “I never knew that I wanted to KILL EVERYBODY, but now that I’ve realized it? I feel FREE!” She snaked under his sword, and lunged at him with one knife. She stabbed him in the side with it, and he screamed. “Kidney! Kidney! I got his kidney!” Pinkamena cheered, cartwheeling away. “I wonder what I’ll stab next? Maybe I’ll go for his other kidney? Or his liver? Oooh, the possibilities are endless!” Clyde was gasping for breath as he applied more pressure to his wound. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fight while he was bleeding out. And if he kept on fighting this thing, he wouldn’t survive. He had no choice. He sank through the shadows, letting the darkness take him. He had to run. As he jumped from shadow to shadow, getting as far away from his ‘daughter’ as he could, he could still hear her. She was clucking like a chicken and questioning the legitimacy of his birth. “…with a live rooster!” Pinkamena finished. When she realized that her father was too far away to hear her, she pouted. “Nuts. I didn’t get to kill him.” Pinkamena caught some motion in the corner of her eye. She turned her head to see that it was one of her friends, starting to stir. One of her friends… completely defenseless… and already tied up in magic cancellation rope. Pinkamena couldn’t stop herself from giggling with expectation. ~~~~~~ As Twilight returned to consciousness, she realized that she was starting to get tired of being knocked out. Three times in one day. Seriously. “Ooh, you’re awake, you’re awake!” A familiar voice chirped. “I was hoping you’d wake up soon! It wouldn’t be as fun if you were asleep!” “P-Pinkie?” Twilight asked, her eyes adapting to the darkness. “What happened?” “Eh, nothing much,” Pinkie said. “Pinkie…” Twilight looked down at the ground, and then up at the rope that was tied around her wrists and a tree branch. “Pinkie, why am I hanging from a tree?” “So I can have some fun!” Pinkie said, rubbing her hands together with glee. “Fun? What are you talking about?” Twilight asked, trying to summon up some magical energy. It wouldn’t come to her. “We don’t have time for this! We have to stop Nightmare Moon!” “Nah,” Pinkie said, idly juggling a pair of knives with one hand. “I like my plan better.” “Pinkie, what…” Twilight gulped when she saw how the Trickster had changed. Darker, straight hair, empty, emotionless eyes, and a grin that sent shivers down her spine. “What happened to you?” “What happened? Simple!” Pinkie said. “I was set free!” “Of what?” “Having to act like some goody-two-shoes! Thanks to Daddy, I finally realized exactly what it is I want to do!” Pinkie leaned forwards, staring deep into Twilight’s eyes. “I wanna see people bleed.” “What are you…” Twilight was silenced by Pinkie putting a finger on her lips and a knife on her throat. “Shh, shh, shh. No more talking,” She said. “Now… just scream.” “Y-you’re insane,” Twilight said. Pinkie laughed. “INSANE?! This is the sanest I’ve ever felt in my entire LIFE! I can finally do what I’ve always wanted to but never had the GUTS to try!” Pinkie giggled, licking her lips. “I want to kill you. I want to see you bleed. I want to hear you scream as I cut you slowly so slowly I want you to beg me for mercy begging Pinkie don’t do this please stop please WELL I’M NOT GOING TO STOP I want to cut you apart and I want to use your guts for garters and I want to show you what your own organs look like and I want to look you in the eyes after I’ve had my fun and I want to watch you die and then?” Pinkie pointed at four other unconscious bodies on the ground. “I’ll do it again.” “You’re… you’re not Pinkie,” Twilight said. ‘Pinkie’ tilted her head, and then shrugged. “Whatever.” She pulled back her right arm, the knife in her hand glinting in the meager light. “I don’t care what you call me! I’m the one holding the knife!” Twilight forced her eyes shut as ‘Pinkie’ drove the knife towards her stomach, and she waited for the pain. It never came. Twilight slowly opened an eye, and saw that ‘Pinkie’ had grabbed her wrist with her left hand, and the knife had stopped only an inch from her stomach. Twilight and ‘Pinkie’ both stared at it with matching expressions of confusion. ‘Pinkie’ grunted, and tried to get her left hand to obey her. “When… I was a little kiddy… and the sun was… going dooowwn,” ‘Pinkie’ sang through clenched teeth. Her eyes widened. “Why did I start singing? I don’t want to sing. I want to – oof!” Her left hand suddenly let go of her right wrist, and hit ‘Pinkie’ in her stomach. She dropped her knife out of surprise and stumbled backwards. “The darkness and the shadows, they would always… make me froooowwwn!” ‘Pinkie’ sang. “What’s happening?! Why am I singing?!” Her left hand grabbed her own nose between two fingers. “Got your nose!” She yelled, pulling her hand away and sticking her thumb between two fingers. “No you don’t! My nose is still on my face!” “Then what’s it doing in my hand?” “Stop it! Stop it stop it stop it!” Twilight could only stare in confusion as ‘Pinkie’ had an argument with herself, her face switching between being cold and dark to being cheerful and vibrant. “I’d hide under my pillow from what I thought I saaaawww! But Granny Pie said that wasn’t the way to deal with fears at aaaalllll!” “Granny never said that! Not once!” “Shut up, it’s a song.” “Get out of my head!” “Get out of my body! I won’t let you hurt my friends!” “This…” Twilight said. “Is something else.” “It’s my body! I’m doing what you’ve always wanted to do!” “I’ve always wanted to sleep on a bed made of marshmallows! Not kill people!” “You can’t stop me!” The dark ‘Pinkie’ said, jumping at Twilight with a knife in her one obedient hand. Suddenly, her rogue hand punched her in the face. “She said, ‘Pinkie, you gotta stand up tall! Learn to face your fears! You’ll see that they can’t hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear!’” She sang, her face bright. Her face suddenly darkened, and she scowled. “I’m not going to go away if you just laugh at me, you coward!” “Ha! Ha! Ha!” Bright ‘Pinkie’ said, punching herself in the face. Dark ‘Pinkie’ growled in anger. Then, bright ‘Pinkie’ took over again. It seemed that bright ‘Pinkie’ had the upper hand in this… whatever was happening. “Sooo! Giggle at the ghostly!” She stretched her cheeks and made silly faces. “Guffaw at the grossly!” She hit her head against a tree. “Crack up at the creepy!” She made farting noises with her armpit. “Whoop it up with the weepy!” She did handstands. “Chortle at the kooky!” She blew a raspberry on her own arm. “Snortle at the spooky!” She touched her nose with her tongue. “ENOUGH!” She screamed, her face set in a mask of anger. Dark ‘Pinkie’ clamped her hands over her ears, forcing her left hand to obey her. “This shouldn’t be happening! It’s not fair! It’s not fair! I want to do this! Why are you fighting me?!” She took two steps towards Twilight, a pair of knives in her hands. “You can’t… stop me. I’m the one in control here! And I… do… what… I… want!” She changed her grip on the knives, and brought them down towards Twilight’s neck. Twilight, on reflex, clenched her eyes shut. The knives stopped inches from Twilight’s throat. The Arcane Mage opened one eye to see Pinkie’s face fighting itself. It was like it had been split down the middle by two conflicting personalities: one half was smiling brilliantly, and the other half was growling through clenched teeth. Slowly, the anger in half of Pinkie’s face started to dissipate, being replaced by a smile. Pinkie took a shaky step back. “And tell that big dumb psycho in your head to take a hike and leave you alone and if she thinks she can scare you then she's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna... hahahaha...heh...” She raised her arms, and stabbed herself in the thighs. But she didn’t scream out in pain. Instead, she kept on singing. “Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauugh!” Pinkie’s hair entire body brightened, and her hair exploded, returning to its curly state. She held the note for almost a minute before falling to her knees and panting for breath. After a moment, she looked up at Twilight, giving her the brightest smile she could despite the pain she was obviously in. “You okay, Twilight?” She asked. Twilight just stared at her. “Pinkie, what the hell was that?” She finally asked. Pinkie pulled the knives out of her legs, wincing in pain. “I honestly…” She clenched her teeth as she stood up, hobbling towards Twilight. “…Don't have a clue. Hold still.” Pinkie reached up with one of her still-bloody knives and started to saw through the rope holding Twilight up. Twilight looked at the knife uneasily. When the rope snapped, freeing Twilight, she landed on her feet and quickly tried to step away from Pinkie. Unfortunately, her ankles were also tied together, and she fell. Pinkie giggled at Twilight’s mishap. “Don’t worry, Twilight; I’m not gonna bite,” She said, crouching to cut Twilight’s feet loose. “Excuse me if I’m a bit apprehensive,” Twilight said, scooting away from Pinkie after her feet were freed. “Seriously, what was that?” “Nothing that’s going to happen ever again,” Pinkie said confidently, giving Twilight the thumbs-up gesture. “I’ve got it aaallll under control!” “You said that you had always wanted to kill people! You almost butchered me!” Twilight said. “Oh, that was just a silly-willy show of bravado. If I had really wanted to kill you, I wouldn’t have stopped myself!” Pinkie said. “I mean, were you listening to me? I was all ‘Imma cut you and Imma make you bleed and look at me I’m so scary with my widdle knives, ooooh!’” She adopted a goofy accent while she parodied her darker half’s scary speech. “Ow my legs hurt that was such a dumb idea.” Twilight had no idea what came over her, but she couldn’t stop it. She started to laugh. “Y-you were kind of silly!” She admitted between giggles. “I mean, using my guts for garters? That’s just… ridiculous!” Pinkie joined in the laughter. “I don’t care what you call me! I’m the one holding the knife! I’m such a badass!” Twilight clutched her sides as laughter shook her entire body. “And your – your face, you were like…” She tried to copy dark Pinkie’s expression as best she could, but ended up just looking dopey. Pinkie howled with laughter, kicking her legs in the air. “I can’t breathe! I can’t bre-he-he-heathe!” Their laughter echoed through the trees for what felt like hours. Soon, it died off, and Twilight and Pinkie were left giggling on the ground. “So, you really don’t want to kill everybody?” Twilight asked, just to be sure. “Come on, Twilight, think about it! If I killed everybody, then who’d come to my parties? A party’s no fun without other people to enjoy it with!” Pinkie said. “Didn’t you say something like ‘thanks to Daddy’? Who’s ‘Daddy’?” Twilight asked. Pinkie grimaced. “I’d… rather not talk about that,” She said glumly. “Let’s just say my family is weird.” Twilight slowly connected the dots. “Pinkie… is your father…” She was interrupted by the sound of one of the others stirring, still tied up. Twilight and Pinkie both looked at them. “…What should we tell them?” Twilight asked. Pinkie hummed in thought. “Leave it to me,” She said, limping towards the others with a knife in her hand. She went to work, cutting their ropes. “I’ll think of something.” ~~~~~~ “…and then I said, ‘do ya feel lucky, punk’ and he was all ‘noooo’ and then he ran!” Pinkie said, finishing her completely fabricated story about how she had chased the Grand Master away with a water pistol filled with cat urine. “But, that doesn’t explain how you got these,” Fluttershy said, her magic sealing up the cuts on Pinkie’s thighs. Pinkie’s face lit up. “I was getting to that. See, there were these tiger ninjas that he had with him for back-up…” “You jus' got ‘em when you were fightin’ that Shadow Blade guy, didn’t you?” Applejack asked, rubbing her eyes in annoyance. “Well, yeah, but that sounds so boring!” Pinkie said, hopping up. “It’s so much more fun to make stuff up!” “Pinkie…” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Never change.” “No problemo! I’m gonna stay just like I am for a looooong time!” Pinkie said, smiling cheesily. The others all shook their heads at Pinkie’s antics. “Same old Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said, brushing herself off. “Shall we carry on?” “I agree,” Fluttershy said, standing up. “I never thought I’d say this, but I’m getting tired of trees.” Pinkie gasped. “Fluttershy’s getting tired of trees? It’s the end of the world!” “Ah, knock it off, Pinkie,” Applejack said with a chuckle. “Repent! Repent!” “Are we going or what?” Rainbow Dash asked. The others all nodded, and moved off. Twilight approached Pinkie. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell them that you went insane,” She whispered. Pinkie giggled. “I’ve never been more sane,” She said with a comically deep voice. Twilight chortled. “Pinkie Pie, I will never understand you,” She said. “Me neither, Twilight. Me neither.” ~~~~~~ “Well, look what the cat dragged in!” Nightshade called out as the bleeding Grand Master stumbled back into the castle. “You look like shit, man.” “Sh-shut up,” The Grand Master said. Nightshade landed in front of him. “So, what happened? You got your ass kicked, I take it?” She asked condescendingly, glancing at the Grand Master’s wounds. “I’m really not in the mood,” The Grand Master said, shuffling past Nightshade. She flew ahead of him and cut him off. “You couldn’t kill her either? Lame, man. Lame,” She said, shaking her head in disappointment. “Guess that means I’m going to have to step in and do your job for you, huh?” “Should have left you to rot in that prison,” The Grand Master said, shoving her aside. “Hey, man! Don’t fucking hurt my feelings!” Nightshade said, feigning emotional injury. “You want to try and stop them? Go ahead. Be my guest, you disrespectful brat,” The Grand Master said. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and you’ll be killed. As for the REST of you useless clowns!” He raised his voice to ensure that he was heard by the others. “Be ready to defend the castle when our dear Captain inevitably fails!” “Yeah? Well, fuck you, too,” Nightshade said, flying away. The Grand Master growled, and continued on his search for some bandages.