858 - Talking About Talking
“Wait, so you made her kill herself?”
Her father’s question made Solvei smirk, pride rushing through her. Everything was, at that moment, absolutely perfect.
It had taken quite some time to bring everyone up to speed on what had happened, and by the time she’d finished she’d been ready to collapse. In the course of one day – one single day! – she’d had to deal with Sissel and her band of killers, Hvitdod, unexpected confrontations with two different goddesses, Lex’s shocking ascension, and then everyone she’d ever lost suddenly being brought back to life. It had been enough to make her want to lie down and sleep for a year.
Fortunately, her beloved master must have sensed that she was physically and emotionally drained, because – after having freed Toklo and the others from the curses preventing them from taking to the wind – he’d conjured up the most magnificent feast she’d ever laid eyes on. Long trestle tables piled high with cheeses and jellies, sweetened fruits and spiced vegetables, warm cider and cold milk, and so many other foods that she didn’t recognize. He’d even conjured up a set of softly-glowing orbs, shining with different colors to counteract the fading daylight.
The atmosphere had changed at that point. Prior to then, everyone had been in a daze over what had happened, both Yotimo’s warriors and their resurrected brethren shocked at being reunited. But the smell of food had seemed to strike a chord in everyone, driving home that they really were alive again. As they’d feasted, they’d started to rejoice, with bouts of laughter and cheering springing up, until the entire affair had turned into an impromptu celebration.
At some point, music had broken out, plates and utensils being repurposed as makeshift drums while others had taken to clapping their hands between bites, and some had put off eating in favor of singing. One table had been cleared off completely, turned into a stage for several of her kin to dance upon. Others were too joyous to sit still, setting up games ranging from arm-wrestling to relay races as they fully took in the fact that they were all alive and together again.
Of course, Solvei hadn’t had the energy to participate in any of the games, and she’d been too tired to take up any of the offers to dance, of which there’d been quite a few. Instead, she’d retired to the far end of one table with her parents, who’d wanted to talk to her more about everything they’d missed. So far they’d talked about her time training to be a shaman, what had happened when the yetis had attacked, and her initial discovery of the Night Mare’s shrine, before coming back around to her adventures with Lex.
“Belligerence only allows Master, and those connected to him, to touch it,” she explained, raising the weapon, its runes glinting in the soft light. “So when I made Sissel grasp it, its barbs spread out, piercing her heart.”
The comment made her parents share a look, their expressions turning pensive before her mother cleared her throat. “Akna, about that...”
Solvei groaned, but she was smiling as she did it, putting Belligerence over her shoulder. “If this is a lecture about how a shaman shouldn’t be putting herself in danger-”
“It’s not that,” interrupted Tulok. “There are times when even a shaman has to fight, and it sounds like you’ve already been through more than any warrior since Aselu himself.”
Alasie nodded. “It’s just that...we’re deeply grateful to have been brought back to life, and nothing will ever change that, but after everything you told us...”
“How you’re following a god instead of our ancestors,” added Tulok, “merging your soul with an unatattik, and the way you talk about having a ‘master’ now...”
“We’re concerned, is all,” concluded Alasie.
Solvei smile slowly fell away, trying to process what she was hearing. “...what?”
“You’re our only daughter,” explained Tulok quickly. “And while being able to see you all grown up like this is a gift we can never repay, we’re still worried about you.”
“You’ve already fought more battles than some full-blooded warriors do in their entire life,” added Alasie. “And against so many powerful monsters. All because you’ve been following that...pony, or titan, or whatever he is.”
Solvei looked down, unable to meet their eyes as her good mood fell away completely. “What are you saying?”
“Akna, you’ve already done so much,” pleaded her mother. “Don’t you think maybe it’s time to stop?”
Tulok nodded. “Lex Legis is already so powerful, it’s not like he needs you anymore, so-”
“YOU’RE BOTH IDIOTS!”
The angry yell caught Solvei by surprise, jumping in place as her grandmother’s roar was followed by a fist coming down atop each of her parents’ heads.
“Ow!” yelped Alasie, glancing up from where she’d been knocked to her knees, holding her head. “Mother! What did you do that for?!”
“We’re just concerned about our daughter!” whined Tulok, likewise in a pained crouch.
“Shut up, both of you!” snarled Yura, planting her fists on her hips as she glared down at the two of them. “Honestly, the nerve! Akna has accomplished deeds that would leave Aselu himself stunned, and you’re acting like she’s still the same little girl who accidentally glued her eyes shut with pine sap!”
The reminder that she’d once been too young to realize that wiping her eyes while her hands were sticky was a bad idea made Solvei wince, glad that Lex wasn’t close enough to hear that.
“We understand that she’s g-grown up since we’ve...been gone,” sniffled Alasie, her lip quivering for a moment. “But that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still our daughter!”
“She did an incredible thing,” agreed Tulok, frowning up at Yura. “More than one! But that’s no reason for her to keep running into danger now that it’s over!”
“Ancestors help me,” groaned Yura in exasperation, shaking her head. “How is it that my daughter has nothing but snowflakes between her ears-”
“Hey!” yelped Alasie, insulted.
“-and yet somehow managed to find a mate who’s even dumber than her?”
“That’s uncalled for!” Standing up, Tulok glared at the elder shaman. “There’s nothing dumb about wanting our daughter to be safe!”
His pronouncement earned him a second whack from his beloved’s mother, her fist coming down on the crown of his head so hard that it made Solvei wince.
“Safe?!” roared Yura, seemingly incensed. “You want your daughter to be safe?! She has magic strong enough to summon ten ice spirits at once! She can move things with her mind! She can create armor stronger than stone! Not to mention that she’s the cherished companion of someone who slew Hvitdod and has the power to bring the dead back to life! How much safer could she be?!”
Both of her parents grimaced at that, and Solvei bit her lip as she stood up. “Grandmother-”
“Quiet, girl!”
Solvei’s jaw closed with an audible snap, sitting back down. Powers or no, the years of training that she’d spent under her grandmother left her unable to even think of defying her now.
“And you’re complaining about us still treating her like a child,” muttered Alasie petulantly.
The comment made Yura’s jaw clench, a dangerous expression crossing her face, and Solvei gulped, leaning backward.
“Akna,” growled Yura, her voice low and dangerous. “I noticed that your master didn’t join in the feast. Why don’t you go see if he needs you for anything while I have a talk” – she stressed that last word in a way that made Alasie and Tulok both whimper – “with your parents.”
“Yes, grandmother!” Nodding vigorously, Solvei was already moving as the words left her mouth, sprinting away as fast as she could.
But she hadn’t gotten very far before a familiar voice called. “Akna!”
Slowing to a stop – though only after she’d made sure she’d gotten a safe distance from her grandmother – Solvei glanced over at the speaker, her heart still in her throat. “Panuk?”
Jogging over to her, the young scout gave her an easy smile. “I heard that you presided over my consumption. How was I? Delicious, right?”
The utter insouciance of the comment – which was pure Panuk, always eager to be the center of attention – brought a smirk to Solvei’s lips, helping to put the terrifying spectacle of her grandmother’s anger behind her. “Nah, you were rotten,” she teased, wrinkling her nose as though remembering an unpleasant smell. “Like eating a fish that had gone bad.”
“You say that,” teased Panuk, “but I was talking to Toklo, and he made it sound like there was a certain part of me you couldn’t wait to get in your mouth.”
The comment brought a blush to Solvei’s cheeks, and her grandmother’s influence came through in the next moment as she punched him in the shoulder, making him stumble back. “That was your liver, and you know it! The shaman always eats the liver, so the rest of the family doesn’t have to swallow the bile!”
“Ow, down girl!” laughed Panuk, rubbing his shoulder. “You really do have crazy powers now, huh?”
“Keep getting fresh with me, and you’ll see.”
“Does that mean I can’t tell you how beautiful your eyes look now?”
Despite herself, Solvei felt her tail start to wag. “I bet you say that to all the winter wolf-adlet hybrids.”
“Only the cute ones,” replied Panuk without a moment’s hesitation, flashing the grin that had made him a heartthrob among so many of the girls back in the village.
That was more than Solvei could take, and she burst out laughing, her tail wagging faster. Whether it was her grandmother’s temper or Panuk's incessant flirting, some things never changed.
Wiping her eyes as her mirth finally died down, she gave him an honest smile. “I’m really glad you’re back.”
Recognizing that the time for joking around had passed, Panuk’s expression shifted to a warmer one. “It’s good to be back, although I can’t actually remember what it was like being dead. I asked around, and no one can. It’s like we all just fell asleep and then woke up here.”
“Don’t look at me.” Raising her hands, Solvei shook her head. “I’ve died twice now, and it was different both times.”
“Not completely different, though.” Panuk canted his head toward the far side of the ravine, where Lex had gone after creating the food and illumination. “You were with him both times, right?”
A little worried that this was going to turn into another referendum about her relationship with Lex, Solvei took a moment to steel herself before nodding. “Yeah. No matter what else happened, Lex – my master – was always there. Even when we’re apart, or if we fight, he’s always with me...the same way I’m always with him.”
Panuk nodded at that, and while he didn’t lose his easy demeanor, his eyes wandered, as though he was considering something. A moment later he seemed to reach a decision, letting out a slow breath. “Do you think I could see him?”
Solvei blinked. “Huh?”
“That pony, Lex – though I guess he’s not just a pony anymore – can I see him?”
“You mean, like, to talk to him?”
Panuk rolled his eyes. “No, to gaze at him dreamily from a distance. Yes, to talk to him!”
Solvei bit her lip at that. As Akna, she’d been grief-stricken when she’d heard that Panuk had died; even if she hadn’t returned his feelings, she’d still cared about him a great deal, since everyone in her village had been like an extended family to her. But now that she had Solvei’s memories of what had happened, she knew that Panuk had needlessly escalated the situation, making himself seem as fearsome as possible in order to try and cow Lex and the others into submission, a tactic which had succeeded only in provoking a pointless conflict and costing him his life.
But at the same time, she knew Lex wasn’t blameless for what had happened. He’d said as much himself after their final confrontation with Sissel: “I was angry...and I was afraid...and that colored my judgment.” Even though she’d been furious at the time – wanting to kill Nenet for Sissel’s crimes – she’d since come to appreciate his admission, recognizing the guilt he felt about what he’d done.
Except now he’d made up for what had happened, undoing death itself – not just for Panuk, but for everyone she’d ever lost – and erasing what should have been an indelible act. Solvei wasn’t sure if that meant that he’d forgiven himself, but she hoped it had, which meant that if Panuk was planning on castigating him now...
Her thoughts must have shown on her face, because Panuk put his hands up in a calming gesture. “Easy, I’m not looking to pick another fight with him. Believe me, that’s the last thing I want.”
“Then I have to ask, what do you want? Because Lex has more than made up for what happened.”
“I know that he has,” acknowledged Panuk, no longer grinning as he met her eyes squarely. “I don’t want to make trouble. I want to talk to him so that I can figure things out.”
She raised a brow. “Figure things out?”
He sighed. “It’s hard to explain. I don’t...he killed me, Akna. Even if I don’t remember any of it, I was dead. And then he brought me back. I just want to...get a handle on it all, you know?”
“No, I don’t.”
“I don’t either, that’s the point. I don’t know what else to do except talk to him, otherwise it’s like this big thing which is always going to be there but I’m not acknowledging and it’s...I don’t even know what.” He groaned, closing his eyes as he let out a slow breath. “I’m not making any sense at all, am I?”
Solvei took a moment to put her thoughts in order before answering. “Panuk, maybe it would be better if you thought a bit more about what you want to say. Master still has a lot that he needs to do, and he said he’s going to come visit the village after he’s done, so maybe-”
It’s fine, Solvei. Bring him to me.
Master! Whipping her head around towards where he was, Solvei resisted the urge to whine at his decision. How had he even known she was talking to Panuk in the first place?!
No, she reminded herself a moment later, that was a stupid question. He was aware of her state of mind at all times; if he’d noticed the chaotic interplay of emotions she’d been feeling just now, that might have prompted him to borrow her senses in order to check up on her without her knowing. Which meant that he’d probably heard at least part of Panuk’s rant just now.
Master, are you sure that’s a good idea? You’ve still got a lot to do before you face Adagio; this can wait.
No, came the immediate reply. He’s entitled to speak his piece, and I want to do this now. Escort him to my location.
Solvei groaned softly, hoping this wasn’t a prelude to another blowup. Although Lex seemed unusually reserved since becoming a titan, she didn’t want Panuk to test his newfound limits. As scary as her grandmother was, she knew that Lex could be far worse when angered. Understood, Master.
“Is everything okay?” asked Panuk as she turned back toward him, his head cocked. “You just went all quiet and stared off into the distance.”
“I was speaking to Master,” replied Solvei evenly. “He says that he’ll see you now.”
His eyebrows went up as she began walking toward where Lex was, falling in behind her a moment later.
Together the two of them headed away from the light and laughter of their fellows.
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This is Granny.
This is Granny, Annoyed.
This is Granny, Annoyed, holding a Large Heavy Cast Iron Frying Pan.
Any Questions.
Looks like the Adlets arc is coming to an end. Let's hope his social precognition doesn't mess this up.
11671754 In Solvei's parents' defense, they died when she was still quite young, so I suspect that they're having some issues with the fact that their little girl is not only all grown up, but has gone on quite the series of adventures. If her life was a comic book, they exited the story at the end of issue #1, and are now back a couple hundred issues later, trying to come to terms with what they missed.
Yura, by contrast, is much more familiar with Solvei as a grown, ambitious adlet...though I suspect that her having a fairly high Wisdom score is also part of it. After all, she knew to approach Lex with a great deal of respect and deference. Let's hope Panuk does the same.
11671764 In terms of this diversion, i.e. Lex's having brought all of the slain adlets back to life, it does seem to be close to wrapping up. Hopefully things will end on a high note as we lead in to the confrontation with Adagio!
I can't help but think that even though Lex has done his best to right the wrongs he's committed, some, including himself, will find it hard to forgive easily.
We all know pressing the 'I win' button just isn't as satisfying as doing your due diligence woud be, although he did it all for Solvei/Akna so I can give credit where it's due.
Shame becoming a Titan has only made Lex even more stoic as a result, but Solvei/Akna and Nenet can still sense his true feelings, when he chooses to let them anyway...
11672297 Lex is indeed the sort to hold his own failings against himself as much as he does the failings of others. Or at least, he has up until now; as you noted, he's become unusually detached since his ascension. Presumably that's due to his being at least somewhat overwhelmed by all of the new powers at his disposal and data that he's now aware of, but that remains speculative...maybe there's more to it than that?
One thing to remember, however, is that his real emotions flow back across the link to Solvei and Nenet – not when he lets them – but when he reaches some ill-defined degree of intensity. If he's feeling overwhelmed by rage, or grief, or joy, that flows across their bond and to the other two, without Lex meaning to (though if he's actively shutting the link down, that won't happen).
As far as "I win" buttons go, I completely agree with you there; for both narrative fiction and game-play, they're neither fun nor satisfying. Which means that the thing to do (in my opinion, at least) is to escalate things so that any such powers aren't as overwhelming as they would be against lesser opponents/obstacles. (Of course, there's also the need to outline what powers someone has ahead of time, since otherwise it looks like you're just giving them new abilities as needed, which no one likes.)
Being dead and then brought back to life is bound to be a troubling experience, especially if they can't recall anything of what happened to them when they were dead. And given their belief system, it does have certain implications that could have some ramification. The fact that Panuk sought to speak to Lex instead of Yura speaks of how troubled the adlet must be.
On a brighter note, I am amused at how Lex once again liven things up into a party by providing a feast to the needy. Then again, like the ponies of Vanhoover, the adlets have very good reasons to celebrate.
11672399 My suspicion is that right now, the vast majority of the adlets are too overtaken with the fact that they're alive again (now that they seem to have gotten over their shock) to have fully realized just what this means for their belief system. After all, they were under the impression that their souls were reincarnated in future generations so long as they were eaten by their tribe. Lex bringing so many of them back like this seems to punch a fairly substantial hole in that theory. Presumably Yura figured that out right away, and that was why she seemed so open to worshiping the Night Mare, but it's hard to say if Panuk has had the same realization...he clearly feels some sort of distress, but is having trouble articulating the exact nature of it.
Of course, there's probably a lot of issues that go along with having been so brutally cut down the way he was, let alone being brought back to life by the same person who killed him.