576 - Shoat Time
Something strange was going on.
Piggy Bank couldn’t put his hoof on exactly what was happening, but things had been weird all morning. Of course, things had been unusual for a little while now – like the way his mom was intent on humoring that misfit named Lex even after he’d started helping himself to all of their money – but this was different. Worse, it was different in a bad way, and that was enough to make Piggy nervous.
It had started right after he’d woken up, finding that the pre-breakfast snacks he’d instructed the servants to leave outside his door had been mysteriously absent. Given that his mother had thrown a dinner party last night – one he hadn’t been invited to, much to his consternation (since it meant missing out on not only a wide variety of tasty treats, but also a chance to remind whichever ponies she’d invited that they were small potatoes compared to him and his mom) – there should have been more than a few leftovers remaining. While it was possible that the guests had eaten everything that the cooks had prepared, that almost never happened; it was far more likely, Piggy knew, that the lazy ne’er-do-wells had simply forgotten to bring him the choice bits left over. They’d probably eaten them instead!
As such, it was with an empty belly and a ferocious pout that he’d dragged himself over to one of the master baths. While his bedroom had a small washroom and bathing area attached to it, the master baths were more spacious, being essentially indoor pools with showerheads, jacuzzis, and several other luxury features. And of course, they were staffed, which meant he could have the servants bathe him instead of having to do it himself.
Once, that had been Piggy’s favorite part of the day, back when the master bath closest to his room had been staffed entirely by mares. With all the water present, lots of slippery soap, and how close they needed to get in order to properly wash him, all sorts of titillating “accidents” had been waiting to happen each morning, ranging from an unfortunate splash leaving a maid uniform all wet and clingy to a slick spot on the floor causing him to fall in a way that left his face planted underneath a skirt. It had been the highlight of Piggy’s morning, even if some of the more fainthearted mares had rushed out of the bathroom in tears.
Unfortunately, the good times hadn’t lasted. After one particularly uppity nag had slapped him – just because he’d happened to lose his balance in a way that caused him to brush up against her, letting her feel how excited he was after she’d scrubbed him in a particularly sensitive area – resulting in him complaining about the offending maid to his mother, he’d found the master bathroom he liked staffed entirely by stallions from then on. It had been a singularly unpleasant surprise, one that had made sense only later, when his mother had explained that she’d done it in order to make sure that some mare with loose morals wouldn’t try to worm her way into their family by tempting him into knocking her up. She’d been quite adamant about that; even his worst tantrum hadn’t convinced her to change her mind, leaving him with no alternative but to get used to being scrubbed clean each morning by a bunch of gross old stallions.
On this particular morning, however, there had been no cadre of butlers waiting for him in the master bathroom. Nor had there been any maids. Or anypony at all, the entire bathroom being deserted.
It had been downright spooky – reminding him much too much of the wasteland that Vanhoover had become – and Piggy had hurried through a basic washup before trundling out of the empty bathroom as fast as his little legs had been able to carry him.
He’d become even more disconcerted when he’d noticed that the halls were empty also, driving him to speed up, and by the time he’d reached the dining hall he’d worked up a sweat, making the brief bath he’d taken pointless. Fortunately, several servants had been there, chatting animatedly amongst themselves as though they hadn’t had a care in the world.
That had been when things had started to get really weird.
“Where have you been?!” he’d griped at them, panting for breath. “Nopony brought me any snacks this morning, the bathroom was empty, and…” That had been when he’d noticed that the table hadn’t been set. “Why isn’t anyone making my breakfast! I want pancakes and I want them NOW!”
The servants – two maids and a butler whose names he’d never bothered to learn – had glanced at each other then, and Piggy hadn’t liked the way their expressions had slowly changed from confusion to realization to what had looked like repressed jubilation. “We’re so terribly sorry, Master Piggy,” tittered one of the maids, for some reason emphasizing his title.
“We’ll go ahead and bring you your breakfast right away,” chuckled the butler, turning and trotting out of the room.
“Is there anything else we can do for you in the meantime?” the other maid had asked, smiling widely.
Thoroughly unnerved by that point – the idea that everyone was laughing at him had been stronger than ever, and despite putting his formidable intellect to use he hadn’t been able to figure out why – Piggy had shaken his head. “N-, yes! Where’s my mom?!” If anypony knew what was going on, it would be her. And as an added bonus, the reminder of who they worked for would hopefully make everyone stop acting so creepy!
But if anything, the mention of his mother had the opposite effect, as the two maids shared another quick glance, their smiles undiminished as the younger one spoke up. “Who?”
“Wh-what do you mean ‘who’?!” he’d sputtered, alarmed. “My mom! River Bank! Your boss!”
“Our boss,” echoed the maid, looking at her older counterpart, her face painted with faux-seriousness. “Did you hear that? First he wanted to know where his mother is, and now he’s asking about our boss.”
The other maid nodded, her expression quickly changing into one of fake concern. “We should probably find River Bank quick. I’d hate for him to tell our boss that we were lax in our duties.”
The exchange had left Piggy pale and shaking by that point, knowing that it was all kinds of wrong. The servants should never have been so flippant in front of him, for one thing; they knew he had the power to make their lives difficult in all sorts of ways if he just complained to his mom. Then there was the fact that the older maid had referred to his mother as “River Bank” rather than “Miss Bank,” as if they were peers! And the way they’d kept referring to their “boss” and his mother in turn – despite them being one and the same – had been especially disconcerting…
But he hadn’t had any time to put more thought into that as the butler that had gone to fetch his breakfast had returned, a platter balanced on one hoof with a large cover hiding its contents from view. “I’m afraid the kitchen wasn’t able to put together any pancakes, Master Piggy,” he had snickered, again stressing his title for some unknown reason. “But the chefs were able to whip something up that’s entirely appropriate to your station,” he’d finished, putting the tray down and snatching the cover away.
Although his hopes of having a nice breakfast had been steadily diminishing, Piggy had still felt profoundly disappointed – and angered – by what had been revealed.
A couple of sliced carrots. Burnt toast with no butter. A small bowl of curds that smelled suspiciously unsweetened. A glass of what looked like plain water.
It was the sort of tasteless breakfast that he’d always imagined poor ponies ate, reminiscent of the drek he’d been forced to survive on while trapped in Vanhoover, and the sight of it had left him utterly repulsed, pushing away from the table with enough force that he’d almost toppled over. “Wh-what is this?!” he’d snapped then, frightened and angered in equal measure. If something had happened to the manor’s food supply… “I demand that you all tell me what’s going on this instant!”
“Whatever do you mean, Master Piggy?” laughed the elder maid.
“We’re simply serving you in the manner to which you’re entitled,” chortled the butler.
“If you have some complaints, you can take it up with our boss,” sniggled the remaining maid.
Frightened, upset, and hungry, Piggy had fallen back on the only remaining course of action he knew. “WHY IS EVERYPONY BEING SO MEAN TO ME?!” he’d wailed at the top of his lungs, stamping his hooves as he put everything into throwing what he’d already decided would be a tantrum of epic proportions. “I WANT MY MAMA AND I WANT SOME REAL BREAKFAST AND I WANNA KNOW WHY EVERYPONY’S LAUGHING AT ME!”
“Is everything alright?”
The voice – cutting in during the split-second when Piggy had paused for breath – had brought everyone to a standstill, the three servants straightening up instantly as their mirth had died away. So had Piggy’s tantrum, relief having coursed through him at the sight of the new arrival. “Trotsworth!”
“Master Piggy,” acknowledged the head butler, thankfully without any odd stressing of his title. “Are you feeling unwell?”
“Those ponies are making fun of me!” Piggy hadn’t hesitated, pointing at the three servants who were suddenly grimacing, looking away as their ears folded back.
For his part, Trotsworth had glanced at the guilty-looking trio for only a moment, then at the tasteless breakfast still sitting on the table, and then back to Piggy. After a moment, he took a single step forward, looking at the three servants impassively. “This,” he began, his voice slightly softer than normal, “is unprofessional.”
All three had winced then, despite the head butler’s rebuke having been far softer than Piggy’s tantrum. “We were just having a bit of fun,” explained the younger maid.
“And it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it,” huffed the butler who’d brought the awful food.
“You know what he’s like!” pleaded the elder of the two maids. “You’ve worked here longer than anyone. Can you blame us?”
“It’s not my blame you should be worried about,” had been Trotsworth’s reply, his voice still level. “It’s that of your employer’s, as I do believe she warned against exactly this sort of behavior. Though if she were to ask my opinion on what’s happened here, I doubt you would find it to your liking.”
All three had winced again at that, and Trotsworth had let them wallow in their guilt for a moment before continuing. “As servants, our actions represent the ponies we serve. We execute their wishes, nurture their decorum, and safeguard their reputation. To contravene that is conduct unbecoming of our profession, and besmirches the good work done by those whom you work alongside.”
“Darn right!” Piggy had huffed, glad that someone was finally on his side.
Trotsworth had thrown the briefest of glanced his way then, before turning his attention back to the miserable-looking servants. “We’ll discuss this more later. In the meantime, Prince Legis’ departure has been briefly delayed while he discusses holding an impromptu prayer service with Miss Cloudbank and his young charges. I’d like you to use this time to double-check that his guests have had the entirety of their luggage packed and brought to His Highness’ yacht.”
Murmuring statements of compliance, the three had quickly filed out of the room, leaving Piggy feeling vindicated but still curious as he’d turned to look at the head butler. “Trotsworth, what’s going on with everypony this morning? And where’s that Lex guy going?” He was vaguely aware that the freeloader living in his mom’s house was calling himself a prince now – apparently he’d won the title in a bet or something – and it made Piggy laugh to consider how someone who was so utterly lacking in charm could think that he was worthy of special treatment. “Is my mom going with him? Does this have something to do with last night’s dinner party?”
Trotsworth had paused for just a moment before replying. “Perhaps it would be best if I took you to Miss Bank so that she could explain,” he’d said after a moment, turning to lead Piggy out of the dining hall.
That had been several minutes ago, and after a long march through the manor – too long on an empty stomach – Piggy realized that they were approaching the southernmost solarium. “What’s my mom doing in here?”
“Taking an important meeting, I believe,” replied Trotsworth, knocking on the door – waiting until sound of River’s voice could be heard, telling him to enter – and sticking his head in. “Miss Bank, Master Piggy to see you.”
“Perfect timing, send him in.”
Needing no more encouragement, Piggy rushed into the room. “Mama! Everypony except Trotsworth is acting strange! When I got up…” He trailed off as he realized they weren’t alone, his eyebrows shooting up as he saw that Granola Bar was seated across from his mom, standing up as she saw him. “Granola Bar?” he sputtered, confused. Looking at his mother, he tilted his head. “What’s going on? I thought you said you wanted me to introduce you to her, remember? After I saved you from that ghoul?”
Smiling, River trotted over to him, pausing to give him a kiss on the head before kneeling down in front of him. “I know I did, Piggy, but circumstances have changed. I’m going to be heading to Tall Tale in a little while, and once I arrive I’m going to be very busy, so I wanted to get this taken care of now.”
“Get what taken care of? Does it have something to do with what’s going on?” Piggy’s question came as he looked between his mom and Granola Bar…only to do a double-take as Granola Bar blushed and looked away, an embarrassed smile on her lips.
The sight was enough to rock Piggy back on his hooves. Granola Bar was never embarrassed, about anything. In the weeks that he’d known her, she was always calm and self-assured, whether she was helping to plan a raid of stomping the life out of a ghoul, she never lost her cool; only Fencer had been more composed – besides himself, of course – and she’d lost that ever since that Lex guy had spanked her and made her change her name to that stupid-sounding “Garden Gate.” So for Granola Bar to be acting so…so girly on top of everything else that had happened…
His apprehension must have shown on his face, because his mother gave him a quick hug. “Don’t look so worried, my little pumpkin. Mama’s been looking out for your future, and has made sure that you’re going to be taken care of.”
Not sure if he liked the sound of that or not, Piggy gulped. “Wh-what do you mean?”
River started to say something, but stopped as Granola Bar trotted over to them, the two sharing a knowing look – and Piggy was starting to get really tired of ponies doing that right in front of him! – before River stood to the side, Granola Bar moving to stand directly in front of him. “Piggy…” she began, and there was a quiver in her voice that he’d never heard before. “I, um…”
A jolt of nervousness rushing through him, Piggy stepped closer to her, suddenly concerned. “Are you okay?” His old gang from when he’d had to rough it in Vanhoover were a bunch of losers who never would have survived without him, but while most of them had never been grateful for all he’d done for them, Granola Bar had been the one pony who’d always appreciated him. Even if she’d been a bit of a nag about his telling off those two mares, Cloudbank and Thermal-whatever, that Lex had brought back, Piggy still didn’t like seeing her so upset now. “Is there something you need?”
“Yes,” Granola Bar croaked, taking a moment to clear her throat before continuing. “There is.”
As River watched, smiling in satisfaction, Granola Bar knelt down, taking Piggy’s hoof in her trembling one.
“Piggy…will you marry me?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.129 seconds
Total duration
999 users online
1,388,047 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
a nice look inside the mind of an entitlement
I feel like I need a bit of a refresher because I'm confused about how Granola is into Piggy.
Unless I'm suppose to be confused. In which case, good job.
10723059
If I remember correctly...
while they were all traped in Vanhoover, his confidence in his mom returning and making everything right, even how missplaced she knew that confidence of his was, is what gave Granola hope to keep going in those dark times.
10723059
Whatever Granola's reason, there are people in RL who just have bizarre taste. Entitled idiots have to breed somehow after all.
Oh dear, Lex suggested, allowed this?
ok WTF is River playing at??
10723035 Between Piggy, Shining Armor, and Tryout, there've been a lot of these guys around lately, haven't there? With two out of three having received their comeuppance, is Piggy about to get his?
10723059
10723136 Treforce has the right of it; Granola Bar found Piggy's bottomless wellspring of denial to be a comfort, since refusing to acknowledge reality meant never losing hope...or at least, that's how she interpreted it. That gave her a noted fondness for Piggy, though she's long played coy as to exactly how she feels about him. So what does it mean that she's making a marriage proposal now?
10723151 Heh, that's a potential explanation as well.
10723240 That's an interesting question: to what extent does Lex know (or care) about what's happening here?
10723353 Judging from the smile on her face at the end, it's clear that she has some angle going on. Apparently even after everything she's gone through, she can't stop scheming (or so it seems).
Ah Trotsworth, ever the consummate professional. Still, Piggy's situation is similar to Blueblood's though to a far lesser extent since the servants still interact with him instead of outright ignoring him though given his attitude, he better shape up or else he'll likely be booted out into the real world to fend for himself. Something that River undoubtedly knows.
However, given the ending here, she sees Granola Bar as a way to at the very least prepare him for it. And given the way Granola Bar behaved here, there doesn't seem to have been any type of overt coercion here so I guess she made Granola realize her true feelings after some 'talking'. Now to wait for Piggy's response. Either he'll accept, faint, or just go 'What?'
10724292 River is nopony's fool, even if she makes mistakes sometimes, so I suspect that she was very cognizant of how all of Blueblood's servants cheered when they were no longer obligated to serve him. Throw in that River was just punished for taking liberties with her authority over Feather Duster, and that she's presumably going to be living in a manor house full of ponies who are probably resentful toward her and her son...well, her wanting to secure some sort of lifeboat for Piggy would make sense, wouldn't it? After all, marrying him off to some other family of means would be hard when her only leverage is her access to Prince Legis...and given that he's now at loggerheads with the princesses, that might not be something that other rich ponies would want. So that leaves one option: get him together with somepony who truly cares about him.
That's all speculative, of course, but it certainly fits with what we saw in this chapter. As for Granola Bar herself, her feelings are still a bit of a mystery, but she doesn't seem unhappy with the situation. And while Piggy could say no, I doubt River would let that go; as she said, she wants to make sure he's at least taken care of.
Holy crap, that came out of left field! Skipped dating and went straight to marriage, she did! Personally, I think that would be awesome if a woman were to come up to me and ask for my hand in marriage. No over 360 relationships-yeah, I rebound from getting broken up with immediately and almost just as stupidly quickly find someone else to be my girlfriend, regardless of their repute-that (sadly) only last 3 months at most, just skip straight to marriage. That would be glorious, as muscles and good looks can only get me so far when I'm, even though harmlessly, batshit insane and don't care about my public image as long as I don't do anything that I would consider unjust. Then there's my ridiculous amount of pride that makes me hyper-aggressive if provoked, me always doing everything to the extreme, socially crippling lust to the point where I never leave the house without another male adult with me at all times unless I have a girlfriend, ect. Anyway, that kind of puts a damper on being in a relationship, thus why I think it would be a dream come true to have a woman come up to me and ask me to marry her.