Lateral Movement

by Alzrius

564 - Heavy is the Head

“Wait wait wait,” gushed Sonata, her eyes widening with excitement at what she’d just heard. “We’re going on vacation?! All of us, together?!”

“It is not a vacation,” scowled Lex, spitting the last word out as though it were an epithet. But his ire wasn’t directed toward Sonata, instead glaring at River as he spoke. “It’s a trip to conduct a series of utterly pointless exercises which, if I agree to them, will cut deeply into my managing things here in Vanhoover.”

From her place on the other side of the living area in Lex’s suite, a harried-looking River bowed her head, having only recently returned from conferring with the ponies from Las Pegasus. “I’m sorry, Your Highness, but that’s the best I could do. For those ponies, a royal endorsement of their business interests is an extraordinary prize, one that requires that you go to Las Pegasus and conspicuously partake of – and enjoy – the activities, services, and facilities they run.” She paused then, giving him a pained smile. “At least I was able to talk down the ones who wanted real estate rights here in Vanhoover.”

“Hmph.” Although Lex knew River was right, he couldn’t bring himself to be happy about that.

Aria, however, was quite willing to do it for him. “Well I think it’s a great idea,” she grinned, giving her pigtails a toss from where she was reclining on a nearby couch. “After everything we’ve done here, a few weeks of staying in the best resorts, eating the best food, and having a whole lotta fun is what we deserve.”

Lex glanced over at her, horrified. “This will not take weeks!”

“Sire, please,” murmured Coat Tail, the Royal Clothier, his voice simultaneously annoyed and pleading as he readjusted his tape measure around Lex’s shoulders. “I still need a few more measurements before I can start altering Prince Blue-, Blueblood’s wardrobe to fit you.” Biting his lip for a moment, he decided to take a risk. “Are you certain you don’t have any color preferences for what you wear to dinner tonight?”

“For the last time, no!” hissed Lex, begrudging even the few seconds wasted on the frivolity that was fashion.

But before he could return to more important topics, Feather Duster spoke up. “Earth tones,” she murmured, coloring slightly as Lex sent an inquisitive glance her way. “They go with your eyes.”

Coat Tail nodded sagely. “The lady makes a good point, Your Highness.”

“Fine,” snapped Lex. “Whatever. I don’t care.” After what had happened earlier, he knew he needed to keep his irritation in check, but that was growing progressively more difficult as inane things seemed to conspire to waste his time. But as pointless as the topic of his wardrobe was, it paled in comparison to what Aria was suggesting, causing Lex to turn back toward River. “Traveling to Las Pegasus and back will take up too much time as it is. If I do this, then it can’t take longer than a day, two at most.”

“Aww!” pouted Sonata. “But I heard they have a zoo in Las Pegasus! I love zoos! They have leopards! And giraffes! And dalmatians!”

“Dalmatians?” echoed River, shooting Aria a questioning look.

“It’s the spots,” sighed the other Siren, rolling her eyes. “She thinks anything with spots is exotic.” Frowning, she sat up as she fixed Lex with a frown of her own. “And we are not going on vacation just for a day or two! We should be there for at least a month!”

“Actually, Sire, if I may be so bold: Lady Blaze makes a good point,” chimed in Stuffed Shirt, looking up from a scroll that he’d been scribbling on for the last half-hour. “The more time you spend in the city, the more it will help get the word out that there’s a new prince in Equestria. And since it’s going to take a few weeks to get your coronation set up anyway, a longer stay will let you stop in Tall Tale on the way back, where we can hold the ceremony-”

“What,” interrupted Lex, giving his Royal Valet a mystified look, “are you talking about?”

Stuffed Shirt blinked, matching Lex’s confused expression with one of his own. “Your coronation, Sire, as I said.”

“I’ve already been coronated,” shot back Lex. “You were there. I placed the crown on my head right in front of you, and a large number of other ponies as well.”

Stuffed Shirt’s eyebrows shot upward in realization. “My prince,” he began after a long pause, licking his lips. “It’s true that you claimed the crown you won – which, if I may say again, was a truly masterful victory on your part – but there needs to be a proper ceremony so that you can formally present yourself to Equestria as its newest royal. That is the coronation I’m referring to.”

Lex was already shaking his head, ignoring the put-upon look that caused to appear on Coat Tail’s face as he prepared to shoot down this latest addition of meaningless pageantry to his schedule, but River didn’t give him a chance. “He’s right,” she nodded. “The first rule of being important is that people have to know you’re important. You need to make everypony aware that you’re a prince now, and a big celebration of that fact is the best way to do it.”

“And,” continued Stuffed Shirt without missing a beat, “with all due respect to the incredible work you’ve done here, Your Highness, Vanhoover simply doesn’t have the necessary resources for something on the scale you’ll need, while Las Pegasus is too gaudy; it would seem like just another show if you held your coronation there. Tall Tale is by far the best venue for the occasion.”

“That’s a great idea!” cheered Sonata. “We totes had our first big adventure in Tall Tale! Ooh! And we’ll be able to visit all our friends there too! This is, like, the most super-wonderfultastic idea ever!”

“And we’ll have to make sure not to invite Twilight Sparkle and the other princesses,” snickered Aria, giving Lex a lopsided smirk. “I can just imagine them sitting at home, twiddling their hooves while all of the other rich and important ponies come running to shower you with gifts and praise.”

“It does sound lovely,” admitted Feather Duster, getting caught up in the excitement as she smiled at Lex. “If there’s a parade, would it be alright if Cleansweep and her friends marched in it? I know they’d love that.”

Lex didn’t answer, simply turning his head to look around the room, not liking how everypony seemed to disagree with his take on the situation. But as much as he wanted to dismiss their opinions, recent events made him stifle that urge. He couldn’t afford another mistake, at least not where the ponies from Las Pegasus were concerned (hence why he was allowing his Royal Clothier to dress him for dinner in the first place), and as much as the idea of some grand spectacle to celebrate his becoming a prince smacked of pointless vanity, committing an error of protocol at this level ran the risk of consequences that were potentially worse than simply alienating a group of rich ponies whose money he needed; after all, the entire point of what he was doing was to show the rest of Equestria that there was a better alternative to how the princesses were mismanaging things. While his adherence to pomp and traditions shouldn’t affect everypony’s judgment of such things, his experiences to date suggested otherwise.

But that didn’t mean he was completely out of objections, either.

Turning toward Stuffed Shirt, a sour expression crossed Lex’s face as he played his last card. “The cost of such an event-”

“Won’t be an issue, Sire!” replied the valet cheerfully, at least until he realized he’d just interrupted his prince. Flattening his ears, he lowered his gaze. “Forgive me,” he murmured. “It’s just, for an event of this magnitude, I’d be shocked if ponies didn’t come out of the woodwork to donate materials, bits, and their time to make your coronation a scene of utmost majestic resplendence.”

“Yeah!” whooped Sonata, clopping her hooves together in excitement. “And I bet they’ll make it a really big honkin’ deal, too! There’ll probably be confetti! And fireworks! And balloons! Oh my gosh, this’ll be a party bigger than anything Pinkie ever put on!” For a moment her smile dimmed, thinking about the fight she’d gotten into with her friend right before Lex’s duel. But she shook it off a moment later. “And it’s all gonna happen as the grand finale to our vacation! Woo hoo!”

“The situation’s stable enough here that I can probably head to Tall Tale and begin coordinating with Ribbon Cutter as soon as we’re done with the loan negotiations,” murmured River, one hoof going to her chin as she started to focus on the specifics. “She’ll need to start making preparations right away. We’ll need to bring in that Cloudbank mare too, since this will be a good chance to introduce the prince’s religion to more ponies.”

“I’d prefer to be a part of any planning that takes place,” interjected Stuffed Shirt, floating the scroll he’d been writing in toward River Bank. “I’ve started compiling a list of preliminaries that will need to be seen to, as well as notable ponies whom we should invite.”

Taking the scroll, River nodded absently as she began perusing it. “In that case, we should send out the invitations sooner rather than later. If the prince spends a month in Las Pegasus, plus, say, a week to travel there and another to come back, that only gives us six weeks in total to put this together. Factor in how long it will take the invitations to reach everyone, for notices to be run in newspapers, and for ponies who want to be here to make travel arrangements…”

“Guess that means you guys won’t be making the trip to Las Pegasus with us, huh?” smirked Aria. Getting up, she slunk over to Lex, nuzzling him amorously. “Imagine what kinds of trouble we can get into without the chaperones there…”

“Ooh! I’ve got an idea!” Running over to press against his other side, Sonata almost quivered with excitement. “We can paint the town red! I’ve always wanted to do that! No, wait, brainshower!” Smiling widely, she glanced back at Feather Duster. “We can paint the town earth tones! They go with his eyes, right?”

Blushing more, Feather Duster fidgeted, unable to meet Sonata’s gaze. “Y-yes, but I don’t think that’s-”

“My ladies, if you please,” murmured Coat Tail, a whining note entering his voice. “I still need a few more measurements.”

“Aw, fine,” pouted Sonata. But her frown couldn’t hold as she moved to nudge Aria away from Lex, giddy at the prospect of all the fun they were going to have. “I can’t wait! When do we leave?!”

“If you can seal the deal tonight, then probably tomorrow morning,” admitted River, looking up from Stuffed Shirt’s scroll. “The ponies from Las Pegasus are eager to head back, and my yacht’s ready to go at any time.”

Stepping away from Sonata before she could nudge her far enough from Lex to activate the curse he’d placed on her, Aria smirked. “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go charm those rich ponies and head out!”

“It’s still a little early for dinner,” noted Stuffed Shirt. “Plus, the prince’s attire still needs to be finished.”

“I’ll also need to do another fitting once I’ve made the initial adjustments,” warned Coat Tail as he got back to work. “Custom alterations aren’t something you can do with measurements alone.”

“If you need some mirrors, I can have a few brought over from nearby rooms,” offered Feather Duster helpfully.

At the center of the storm of activity, and yet paradoxically forgotten by everypony, Lex let out a sigh.

The next several weeks were going to be very long indeed.

Author's Note:

A vacation to Las Pegasus, and a formal coronation, appear to be in Lex's future!

Will these go off without a hitch, or will trouble find a way to make them into new misadventures?

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

For once, something that isn't planned by Lex (at least as far as I can remember) and it is for his benefit to boot. Thankfully, he's going along with it so there's less chance of him blowing it off given his understanding of others need for the frivolous festivities. And while he makes a good point of leaving Vanhoover for so long, the people can survive with Garden Gate and her friends keeping tabs on things though I suppose leaving someone in charge during his absence would be prudent.

On a less serious note:I'll be having a good laugh when reporters hired by the rich elites try to photograph him and ask for a smile only to meet with his usual stoic facade...well, until his girls prompt him that is. That'd be good for a laugh if it happens in the story..

[Booster Spice]

Lex verses the gambling algorithms of Las Pegasus?

Its going to end up the most twisted honest den of gambling and inequity on the planet?

[harts fire]

hum i am not sure about this side line in the story, it is to easy for a author to get distracted from the hart of a story.
and as this is planning to be weeks this is going to be a boat load of chapters.

[Alzrius]

10666819 The importance that people place on symbolic things isn't something that Lex understands very well. He's much more focused on practical realities, and becomes frustrated when he sees those being made secondary to things that strike him as being frivolous, such as celebrating his becoming a prince. Of course, another part of that is that deep down, he doesn't feel worthy of being celebrated like that, and so is continually surprised and uncomfortable when the ponies around him insist otherwise.

Presuming he goes along with this excursion, he'll put Garden Gate or someone else in charge, if only so there's a clear individual to answer for it if things go wrong without him there. And really, Garden is the obvious choice; if Cloudbank and River are working on the coronation, and Thermal Draft is sent off to Trottingham, there aren't many other ponies who could run the place anyway. Of course, Garden might object to being placed in charge of everything, but it wouldn't be the first time Lex has expressed faith in her (i.e. taking sick ponies to Canterlot).

As for Lex having to make a show of enjoying himself...yeah, it'll be hard for him to smile for the camera, at least in a way that doesn't look menacing.

[Alzrius]

10667003 With his mathematical abilities, he'll either clean the place out, or make suggestions for how to randomize the games of chance even more.

[Alzrius]

10667108 After well over one million words across more than five hundred chapters, any digression that only lasts for a few dozen chapters and a couple tens of thousands of words is a short one. (Which isn't to say that'll happen here.)

[CommandoDude]

Lex is rapidly learning that his life is now a lot less about what he wants. Becoming a ruler means getting minders and having to do stuff the public wants him to do.

I hope we can keep the Las Peguses trip to a minimum. The stuff with Lex in Vanhoover actually governing is way more interesting.

[Alzrius]

10668413 Hm, two comments now mentioning that they don't want a heavy focus on what happens in Las Pegasus. I may need to look at de-emphasizing what happens there...or trying to make it as interesting as what's happening in Vanhoover.

As for Lex, he is indeed getting a lesson about how he needs to act in order to effectively govern. While I suspect that he intellectually knew this would be the case, the reality is proving to be quite a rude awakening for him. Fortunately, he seems to be receptive to the lesson, though to be fair that's because he's needed to learn it several times over now.