Lateral Movement

by Alzrius

274 - Old Mare River

River Bank didn’t blink as she stared at the image in front of her, eyeing it critically.

In the mirror, her reflection stared back at her, appearing to find her as troubling as she found it. Slowly, she turned around, keeping her eyes on the glass and evaluating what she saw. The middle-aged earth mare with the fuchsia coat and two-toned indigo and cornflower blue mane and tail in front of her eyes wasn’t bad-looking, she knew. That was the problem: “not bad-looking” was the best she could seem to achieve these days.

“It’s not like it’s my fault,” she muttered out loud as she glanced at the rack of cosmetics. All of them were store-bought, instead of being special ordered the way proper beauty products should be. But they were better than nothing. Barely.

“Really, I’m amazed I look as good as I do with slop like this,” she continued. Speaking to herself was a habit she’d developed over the course of her marriage. Her husband, Mounte Bank, had never been the best conversationalist, and the idea of chatting with the servants was simply unthinkable. That had left only her friends, or rather, her “friends,” all of whom were a bunch of petty and jealous nags who simply happened to move in the same social circles as her. Freely speaking her mind in front of them would have been tantamount to suicide for her reputation; there wasn’t one of those girls who wouldn’t have immediately run to the McNeighs or the Hoofingfords with the slightest bit of juicy news if they thought it would have let them crawl even a little further up the totem pole of Vanhoover’s influential ponies.

Heaving a long-suffering sigh, River turned back to the mirror, taking a step closer as she examined her face. It took all of her willpower not to scowl at what she saw, knowing that doing so would only encourage wrinkles. As it was, she could already make out traces of crow’s feet at the edges of her eyes, and there was just the slightest puffiness beneath them that her makeup couldn’t seem to conceal. Her mood souring, she raised her eyes to her mane, glaring at it like it was her worst enemy, which in a way it was: the traitor had actually been harboring a gray hair the other day, sending her rushing to the nearest salon in a panic.

“Thankfully, it was one of the good ones.” There wasn’t the slightest trace of that awful color in her hair now. But it hadn’t come cheap, and while normally that wouldn’t have been a concern, her circumstances didn’t allow her to overlook the expenditure the way she normally would have.

Having to flee Vanhoover in the wake of that ghastly flood hadn’t been such a terrible inconvenience, at least at first. She’d been meaning to visit Las Pegasus anyway; the muckety-mucks there tended to forget about the people who’d contributed money to whatever eyesore of a casino or concert hall or theme park they’d built unless you showed up and reminded them. That had been as good a time as any, particularly since Mounte hadn’t been able to make the trip with her, being across town at a some ten thousand bit-per-plate luncheon to raise money for an exploratory commission to investigate the viability of a direct rail line between Vanhoover and Tall Tale, since the only railway access between the two cities at the moment required a long and circuitous trip to Canterlot.

“Ten thousand bits for a plate of fried kelp, buttered biscuits, and a lot of hot air,” she murmured disdainfully as she continued her self-examination. That commission was raised every few years by the McNeighs, trying to find a way to sell the produce they bought from those rustic northern farmers to the ponies in Tall Tale without having to send it there via ships. The Hoofingfords would never allow that, of course; they’d made their fortune by turning Vanhoover into the preeminent maritime city on the west coast, and weren’t eager to see anything chip away at that. All of which meant that the commission would devolve into what it always did: petty intrigue consisting of endless stalling, backbiting, and greasing hooves, resulting in a report that would spend a great many pages saying very little, and nothing more would come of it. That was what those ten thousand bits were really buying.

Despite her muttering just now, River couldn’t have cared less about that. That sort of jockeying was business as usual for Vanhoover’s “Big Three” families. If it wasn’t trying to help the McNeighs bust the Hoofingfords down a peg, then it would have been the other way around, or trying to stop either or both of them from doing the same to her family. What she cared about was that when she’d sent Mounte there, he’d taken their son with him.

Thoughts of Piggy brought another sigh to River’s lips. Her only child was such a disappointment. Despite the fact that she’d paid for him to be raised by the very best servants, tutors, and attendants, he’d still somehow managed to take after his father far more than her. While he hadn’t inherited Mounte’s love of get-rich-quick schemes – the thought of how her husband had frittered away almost all of his family’s fortune on such stupid ideas (“ketchup and mustard in the same bottle!”) still appalled her, even if it had been instrumental in making it possible for a pretty-but-penniless young filly to become his bride – Piggy had taken on most of Mounte’s other vices. He was shortsighted, weak-willed, and half-witted. And fat, just like Mounte had become after he’d realized that his wife’s restoring the Banks’ fortune had also cemented her control over it; that had been why he’d gone along to that luncheon, for the food. But for all his imperfections, Piggy was still her son, as well as the one who’d inherit the Banks’ family fortune one day.

“And I didn’t do all that work just to watch it all crumble to nothing.” River’s words weren’t solely with regard to Piggy’s development, twisting so that she could look at herself in profile. Her middle was still trim and tight, just like when she’d been twenty years younger. The difference was that now, she had to have her personal trainer put her through a punishing morning workout each day in order to maintain her figure, rather than it happening naturally. Worse, the workouts had gotten more difficult over the last few years, requiring more and more effort just to achieve the same results.

Satisfied, she turned in place again, glancing over her shoulder as she reached back and hiked the hem of her dress up over her hips, examining her posterior, barely noticing her cutie mark of a river of coins. “A mare’s beauty is her face, but her appeal is her other end,” she murmured, her mother’s quote coming to mind the way it always did when she did this. Long minutes passed as she swayed her hips to and fro, examining her backside’s appearance from every angle and in every conceivable regard, before reaching back again and giving it a firm smack before nodding in satisfaction. She might have been celibate for years – the thought of being with Mounte the way he was now was unappealing in the extreme, and having an affair was just asking for a scandal – but she was still confident that when viewed from the back, she could turn the head of any stallion she wanted.

“For now, at least,” she amended as she pulled her dress down, turning back to the problem of her face. Even though she was using substandard products, in a few years it wouldn’t matter what she was using; makeup could take the edge off of old age, but it couldn’t undo its effects. That required magic, but getting a wizard to use an age spell to restore her youth had been utterly impossible. For one thing, there were only a hooffull of unicorn wizards who could do that. All of the ones she'd been able to verify lived in Canterlot, which placed them completely beyond her reach: Equestria’s capital city had its own high society, one that was not only far richer than Vanhoover’s, but made it very clear that they didn’t want some “upstart from the sticks,” as one ill-mannered nag had dared to call her, sticking her muzzle where it didn’t belong.

She’d tried anyway, of course, to no avail. Every single one of the wizards she’d spoken to, every single one, made it very clear that they had long waiting lists that were already filled with Canterlot ponies who wanted age spells cast on them, and if she wanted to put her name on them then they might be able to squeeze her in after a hundred years or so, but not earlier. She’d tried to negotiate around that, with no success; no matter what sort goods, money, or “favors” she’d promised, their minds had been made up. Canterlot’s socialites were already keeping them quite satisfied for all of that and more; risking ostracization for a mare with far less money from the edge of Equestria wasn’t tempting to them at all.

“So here I am now,” she grumbled as she turned away from her mirror at last. “Forty-four years old and looking it, coming back from Las Pegasus on a yacht with only two decks and twelve servants because my cash on hoof is running low, and my son has had to spend the last few weeks in the company of his idiot father.” Who knew what sort of bad ideas Mounte had filled Piggy’s head with by now? If it was too late…then maybe it was time to stop thinking about correcting his bad habits, and instead look for a girl for him to marry. A smart girl, with a head for numbers and a sense of how to keep her stallion on a tight leash. They say that you don’t lose a son when he gets married. You gain a daughter, she thought with a smile.

Her musings were interrupted as a knock came from the door to her cabin. Taking a few moments to quickly check her appearance once more, River made sure to drape herself into a pose that conferred nonchalance and confidence before calling, “Come in.”

The door opened to reveal one of her butlers. “Madam,” he said stiffly. “The captain has informed us that we’ll be within sight of Tall Tale soon. He wishes to know if you’d prefer to rendezvous there or continue straight on to Vanhoover.”

“Stop in that dreary little town? I wouldn’t dream of it.” River tossed her mane dismissively, a move she’d practiced years before she’d ever met Mounte. “Tell him that we’re to continue home to Vanhoover with all possible haste.”

“Very good, madam.” With a bow, the butler was gone.

River’s features tightened as he left. Stop in Tall Tale? What good would that do, besides to strain her finances even further? She’d spent weeks in Las Pegasus, living on the cash she’d brought with her and calling in favors and IOUs from ponies whose projects she’d helped fund specifically in order to network with other rich socialites, all the while waiting for word that Vanhoover had fixed itself up. But as the weeks went by with no word coming, she’d gradually used up all the favors she’d called in, and her cash had dwindled. She’d eventually started having to offer IOUs of her own, and sending the servants to three-star stores to shop instead of five. Finally, she’d needed to start letting some of the servants go, and had even sold her yacht for a smaller one in order to drum up some badly-needed cash. That had been when she’d realized that, one way or another, her time in Las Pegasus was about to end.

Determined not to sell off her dignity, she’d set sail several days ago with what assets she still had. Going back to Vanhoover now was dicey, she knew, but there was no other alternative. “An uncertain gamble is always better than a certain failure,” she said quietly, giving a soft laugh. To think she’d be quoting Mounte of all ponies. Still, he wasn’t wrong, even if he’d always been too dumb to avoid getting into such situations in the first place. River had always preferred to go for sure things rather than gamble.

But even so, there was a thrill in taking a risk, especially such a huge one. Going back to Vanhoover now might be a disaster, but it could be the opportunity of a lifetime instead. It all depended on what the situation was…and on how she handled what she found there.

Looking back at herself in her mirror, River smiled.

Author's Note:

Piggy's mom is set to return to Vanhoover!

What does this mean for Lex and the gang?

Comments

[Not so New Brony]

I'm sort of glad Piggy didn't get his mother's traits though she's in for a rude awakening when she makes it back to Vanhoover. I'm sort of worried for River if she decides to make demands for special treatment from Lex, or even worse, attempt to charm him with her 'ahem' feminine wiles to get his help in getting an edge over the other families. That ought to give Piggy quite the mental image

Though the likely thing to occur is that her remaining funds will be 'loaned' to Lex to utilize in Vanhoover's recovery while her yacht is used to establish a line of communication between Vanhoover and Tall Tale since it's the most pragmatic decision.

Still, her desire to regain her youth could be exploited though I doubt Lex would pick up on that fact unless it's spelled out for him. Though I wonder if he even knows an age spell or if he can even learn it since all the unicorn wizards who have said knowledge are essentially sequestered in Canterlot. And going back to the Everglow to learn such a spell or at least attain it in scroll form would be unfeasible given the current situation.

p.s: Nice nod to Magic Duel by the way.

[Spiritus Arcane]

So, as predicted, Piggy's family, his mother specifically, is about to show up, and, as predicted, she's a self entitled bint who only truly cares for herself and will probably do her best to cause no end of headaches for Lex.

*Breaks out the popcorn*

This should be interesting...

[Booster Spice]

Doesnt this make Piggy,

Old Mare Riverson?

[harts fire]

this is going to be fun times a new pony for Lex to set straight or just squish.
Lex is the pony in charge of what is left of Vanhoover and has full control of all resources to try to save the city.
River is in for a huge wake up call, reality is about to hit her square in the face.

[howard035]

Oh god, River is going to try and arrange a marriage between Piggy and Aria or something. She's gonna end up soooo cursed.

[terrycloth]

9166692
If she's the one in the family with actual business acumen she could be helpful rebuilding the city. She's another potential convert to the Night Mare, also. (since she's clearly evil)

[Alzrius]

9166289 Piggy does seem to have taken more after his father, at least as his mother describes him. Of course, given that she paid to have him raised by an army of servants, you have to wonder if she's just saying that to push away any lingering guilt she might feel about how he turned out. The old "it's not my fault, it's because he takes after his no-good father" idea, despite the (rather vague) implication that his father wasn't any more invested in their son than she was. It's kind of sad, really (though it makes Piggy's relationship to Granola Bar more interesting to consider).

As for what happens when she meets Lex...well, I suspect that'll be quite the spectacle. I'll say no more for now.

With regard to age spells, season three's Magic Duel referred to them as a complete throw-away despite how much potential they have to alter some of the most fundamental aspects of a society. Presuming that ponies regard senescence, let alone death, as something to be avoided, being able to de-age people with a one-and-done spell is something with major implications, to the point where it has to be dealt with if you want to engage in any sort of world-building within the scope of what's presented in the show. The easiest way would be to simply say that Twilight was misinformed and/or unaware of various restrictions, because taken to its logical conclusion (about how easily-usable the spell seems to be by those able to employ it, as well as how generous and helpful the ponies are as a rule) no one should ever grow old, let alone die of old age. But that's clearly not the case, as Granny Smith can attest.

In this fic, I mentioned this way back in Chapter Five, when Lex was thinking back over how far he's come as a result of being thrown forward in time. That let me say that age spells become less effective when applied to the same subject progressively. So they can shave a century off of your age the first time you receive one. Then fifty years. Then twenty-five, etc. Assuming a healthy pony lives to one hundred, that's roughly three centuries of life. This chapter threw in political barriers as well, regarding how many unicorns could cast that spell and how tightly access to it was controlled by everyone around them.

Now, that's a spell that doesn't exist in most d20 resources, at least that I'm aware of. The closest thing I can think of is the steal vitality spell from the Ravenloft Gazetteer vol. II, which requires that youth granted to one person be drained to another (and also requiring progressively more and more youth drained to keep de-aging the same person), which naturally makes it a very evil spell. Beyond that, however, there's little in the rules that allows for this, despite the fact that - in game terms - eternal life shouldn't be that big of a deal. AD&D 2nd Edition at least tried to address this somewhat, as elixirs of youth had a cumulative 1% chance per elixir consumed that all the age you'd displaced would suddenly come back to you, and The Complete Book of Necromancers said that even a perfectly-worded wish spell would slow your aging by 1/10 (and postulated that careful use of elixirs of youth, which removed 1d12 years off your age, could let a smart wizard live over a millenium...but still wouldn't have immortality).

The best D&D 3.X/Pathfinder can seem to come up with is using reincarnate over and over, since it has no issue with "natural death" the way standard resurrection spells do.

As for whether or not Lex can use an age spell...well, we'll see.

[Alzrius]

9166379 It wasn't too much of a surprise that Piggy's mom is the way she is. But as for how much trouble she causes Lex - at least before he squashes her for interfering with his work - remains to be seen. I'd say it depends on just how much she's capable of adapting to the situation she'll likely find herself in...

[Alzrius]

9166618 I suppose it does.

[Alzrius]

9166692 You almost have to feel sorry for her. If she wasn't such a repugnant character, I mean.

[Alzrius]

9167248 Heh, she's definitely looking to play matchmaker for her son. But I suspect that she knows he's not exactly any mare's dream of a stallion, which likely suggests that she'll be playing up the money and social connections a marriage brings. But is any of that still good in post-disaster Vanhoover?

[Alzrius]

9167344 Good on you for realizing that, despite her shallow character, even someone like River can have her uses.

[howard035]

9168883 Well, we know Lex pays his debts, and at this point he presumably emptied some of her vaults...

But what of Piggy's star-crossed love with the hippie?

[Alzrius]

9168957 There's no doubt that Lex is keeping the money he appropriated in mind, though I suspect that paying it back won't be a priority on his to-do list for some time. Somehow, I doubt River will be too happy with that when she finds out.

As for Piggy and Granola Bar...well, we'll just have to see how that unfolds!

[James Fire]

All of the ones shed been able to verify lived in Canterlot

You have a shed where it doesn't belong.

Sounds like someone influential that can help Lex restore the city.

[Alzrius]

9221776 An apostrophe has been dropped on the shed.

And it's certainly possible that River could be helpful in fixing the city. But will she be?